Family reunion

28th April 0:35, Aboard the Eligius

Clarke heard the door open. She couldn't tell how long she had been asleep, or if she had been asleep at all. When she opened her eyes, the bright light hit her again. The first thing she saw was Madi, who had also been awakened by the opening door. She was still snuggled against her side and looked very comfortable. When Madi turned her head toward the door, her long hair gently brushed against Clarke's face, tickling her a little.

As she moved her head past Madi's to see who had just walked in, she looked directly into her mother's eyes. Abby looked at her, half shocked, half surprised. She hastily placed a tablet of medical supplies on the desk by the entrance and rushed to her daughter's side.

"CLARKE!" She said in a loud, shaking voice.

Abby rushed to Clarke's left bedside and kissed her heavily on the forehead. She almost jumped halfway onto the bed and grabbed Clarke's head, forcing her into a tight hug.

Wow… she completely forgot about her medical protocol…

But Clarke couldn't deny it. It felt good to be so close to her mother again. It reminded her of better times. Easier times, when she was a child, like Madi was now. Unlike Madi, Clarke had a sheltered childhood, isolated from violence or suffering. That was until the day she and her father were arrested and she watched him beeing floated out off an airlock in front of her. All these years later, she still struggled at times to come to terms with his loss. It was a story she'd never fully told Madi. And now she could understand how Madi must have felt, losing her real parents and now almost losing her as well.

"Mom," Clarke gasped.

"I thought I lost you..." Abby cried, still holding her daughter to her chest.

Suddenly, Clarke remembered the similarity of this scene. It was just like six years ago when she finally escaped from Mount Weather and was reunited with her mother. Again her mother was holding her, again she was lying in a hospital bed.

After a few more moments, Abby had regained her professionalism and released her daughter from her embrace. Her eyes were filled with tears, as were Clarke's. Madi, who had watched their reunion in silence, smiled, happy that Clarke was now reunited with her mother.

"When did she wake up?" Abby asked Madi in a calmer voice. 

"I don't know. A few minutes after you left I think"

"How's your pain, Clarke?" Abby asked her in a calmer voice. She knew she had to stay focused and professional. Storming up to Clarke was unprofessional. Jackson was right somehow. She needed to clear her head, even and especially when dealing with Clarke. She wasn't over it yet. But it was good that he had the courage and determination to take over Clarke's first treatment. Abby had already realized at that point that if she had treated her, she would have lost her. Dealing with Marcus' injuries had been a tough experience. But her love for him was nothing compared to the love she felt for Clarke. Not that that was a fair comparison.

"Bad," Clarke gasped.

"On a scale of numbers, Clarke," she almost sounded like she did when she started teaching her medicine, while Clarke assisted her and Jackson in the hospital and during the surgeries.

"Nine point five. Ten is reserved for loved ones," she said, looking at Madi in particular. Madi nodded silently, agreeing with her. Her mother made a painful face, remembering the pain they had endured in the past.

"Okay. I was expecting that. Jackson was the one who did most of your surgery. It was the best decision he ever made. He saved your life. Along with Niylah. She assisted him." Abby said as she stood up and took the metal tablet from the desk.

"You have lost a lot of blood. We managed to stabilize your blood level now. But now we only have four bags of night blood left. Jackson and I are already working on a solution. Your liver was hit, but we managed to repair most of the damage. Jackson had to cut off part of your liver, but it'll heal and regrow. Most likely, you will have no permanent damage. But I'll be monitoring your condition closely. I'm afraid. It's a long healing process, you may suffer for some time..."

"So she's going to be okay?" Madi asked Abby impatiently to be sure.

"Yes. Totally. Especially if you keep an eye on her," Abby confirmed with a wink, acknowledging Madi's efforts to protect Clarke.

"I will never leave her. She has lost that freedom," Madi said, making Abby smile even further.

"I guess you have two caring mothers now," Abby said teasingly to Clarke.

"Is this really happening? Do Madi and Abby have some kind of bond with each other... For sure they are teaming up against me..."

Clarke laid her head back on the pillow and gave them a surrendering smile.

"Do you have any idea how lucky you were..." Abby said as she returned. She put the tablet and some bottles of fluids on the nightstand.

"I know. I'm sorry..." Clarke looked at her mother with wet eyes.

"For what, baby?" Abby asked her confusedly, gently stroking her hair to comfort her.

"For causing you so much trouble with this. Both of you... You should rest and not worry about me..." But she didn't get any further as Abigail cut her off by sitting at her bedside and hugging her. Closely, but more carefully this time.

"It's my job, Clarke. To love you and to forgive you. And I can't think of a better job. But it seems that you have had the same experience as I have. I'm proud of you both."

"Mom..:" 

"I should be the one to be sorry. You should not have seen me like this... None of you"

"But Mom, you would have died if I hadn't been there in time..."

"I know... And I can't forgive myself for letting you down. For being so careless. For leaving you alone when I should have stayed by your side. Even while we were separated. I should have waited for you to come to me. You always came to me".

"It's okay mom," Clarke gathered her strength and hugged her mother to shut her up by squeezing her tightly against her, making her stomach hurt quite a bit. She quickly let go of her mother when she could take the pain no longer and dropped the few inches back into her soft pillow.

"Was it because of the bunker? Mom, tell me what happened in the bunker. I need to know," Clarke asked breathlessly. Despite her suffering, she could not wait any longer. She needed to talk about her mother's condition, since she was now more worried about her mother than herself. The bunker and the events that had taken place were still a mystery to her. And then a thought came to her: Bellamy. Together with him and the others, she had to find out what had happened in the bunker. To find out why Octavia became Bloodreina and what caused her mother's addiction.

"I know. But let's not talk about it right now. Besides, you should spend your time resting. Even talking about these things can cause you stress. You almost died," Abby said as she worked on preparing a fresh IV bag. She was really trying to avoid talking about it...

"Mom, you have to tell me everything. Please, Mom," Clarke urged her mother to tell her the truth.

"I promise. I will tell you everything...", her mother told her with a forced smile, "I need to talk to Markus about this as well..."

"Is he okay?" Clarke asked, unaware of what had happened to him after he and Abby had left Polis.

"He is fine. He's a little wounded, but it's just his left arm. A prisoner bit off some of his flesh there and nicked a small artery. Luckily I was able to improvise and bandage it."

Out of the corner of her eye, Clarke saw Madi make a face of disgust, telling the world that she would have been happy to move on without the expanded detail.

"Oh... I'm sorry, Madi. He's fine, let's keep it that way for now," she smiled before concentrating on her medical work.

"It's okay," Madi replied hastily.

"Nou get yu daun strik natblida", (Don't worry, little nightblood) Clarke laughed at Madi, stroking her hair gently.

"I guess she won't be following in our footsteps anytime soon," Abby grinned at her granddaughter, causing Madi to look away uncomfortably. Madi knew it had been a mistake to secretly leaf through Clarke's medicine books she had salvaged from the wreckage of the Ark stations. She still couldn't forget some of the pictures and explanations. Or how Clarke had repaired Octavia's arm after her encounter with the parasites. An icy shiver ran down her spine. Maybe they should bomb the worms with the still remaining bomb...

"Mom… Leave her alone she shouldn't have seen any of this at all" 

"Clarke..." Madi tried to tell her that it was okay for her, but she was cut off when Clarke let out a loud moan as Abby began to work directly on her stomach.

"I need to check your wound quickly," Abby announced, just after she had started the procedure. Madi instinctively jumped away a little and now sat almost next to Clarke's head.

"It's okay," she said in her loving, motherly voice. She quickly removed the layers of bandages and cotton and looked at the stitched wound. There was a lot of wound fluid and still some minor bleeding, mostly from the stitches. Abby used a clean towel and quickly dried the wound before applying a special disinfectant solution.

Clarke's eyes widened as she took a deep breath. Madi tried to put her hands on Clarke to show her that she was there for her. It didn't help much because the next thing she heard was a loud scream of pain from Clarke.

"Almost done, baby. Just this ointment. It'll help you heal."

Clarke nodded silently as she clawed at the mattress. The solution caused a sharp, aggressive burn on her skin.

"The bandages need to be changed in a few hours. I'll send Niylah to do it. She wanted to see you as well. When you wake up," Abby told her while she made the last adjustments to the new bandage, "I just want you to be happy. To calm down and forget all this," she stroked her hair gently as she added, "Both of you.

"You too, Mom. Please take a break," Clarke paused for a second, wondering if she really should ask this question before her heart took the initiative for once, "Are you still taking the pills?" Clarke got right to the point.

"No. But I have used some less bad alternatives. Mostly stimulants. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to function the last few days. I promise I'll get clean. But first you promise to get better. And you are already helping me get better by staying in your bed. No matter what happens... I'll make sure there's always someone around if you need anything."

"Okay," Clarke said quietly. Stimulants were worse, too. But at least she was being honest with her. She grabbed her mother's hand.

"I need you, Mom," she told her. Again her heart spoke and took the initiative. It felt good to let out all those bottled up emotions for once. Pent up for years.

"I love you too. More than anything," Abby told her, giving her a passionate kiss on the forehead. "You will always be my baby."

Then she turned and gently kissed Madi on the forehead. This took Madi completely by surprise, judging by her confused expression. But she accepted the unexpected love. She knew that she was now a full part of Clarke's family and she wanted to do her best to accept this unique opportunity. She was happy with how things had turned out so far. Of course, her big reunion with her friends was still to come, but from now on it was only a matter of time.

"You made my life easier by letting me know she wasn't alone. I'll always be in your debt for that. Never forget that, Madi".

The feeling that came over Clarke was incredible. "Wow... Mom and Madi... They really started to get along..." Just as Clarke had hoped, but under much better circumstances, of course. But she had learned by now that life and father never chose the easiest way. Madi finally had a new family. And hopefully some friends, once her troubled relationships were mended. Madi had already contributed a great part to this effort.

"Not only hers, Madi" Clarke added. 

Madi felt herself blushing. She didn't like being the center of attention so much. But deep inside she felt so indescribably good. To be accepted and loved. This time small tears of joy ran down her soft cheeks.

Abby continued, taking the prepared IV bag and replacing it with an empty one.

"You may feel a little dizzy and sleepy at first. The dosage is quite high in the beginning before it slows down. Madi, come let Clarke rest for a few moments," Abby said, beckoning Madi to her side.

"It's a painkiller," she added, looking at Madi's questioning face, "Come, we can get you something to eat in the meantime."

The drug worked quickly. The pain that had come so aggressively, still mostly in waves, was now slowly fading. So was Clark's concentration. Before she could say anything, she felt the words fade from her mouth.

"Clarke?" Madi asked, irritated. She didn't want to follow Abby back to the quarter right now.

"Please stay here" Clarke said, while her eyelids started to feel heavy again.

Since these were Clarke's words, Madi crawled back into bed without hesitation and snuggled up next to Clarke's side as she had done countless times before.

Clarke noticed Abby's expression. This was the look she gave her whenever she disagreed with one of Clarke's decisions. What followed would normally have been a big discussion, but under these circumstances Abbie lowered her banner and gave in. The image of them cuddling in bed was more than heartwarming. For a moment, she seriously considered just lying down with them.

Actually, she felt proud and happy for Clarke, but at the same time it felt odd. It was strange because this was the final proof that Clarke was not the 17-year-old girl she had sent to Earth some six years ago. Her baby now had a child of her own, though not beeing her own flesh, but Abigail knew that it took more than blood to claim the term family.

Clarke was her family. Madi was her family. Kane was her family. So was Jackson. Or Raven, Murphy, Bellamy, and Octavia. She loved them all and the more her past actions began to weigh on her heart.

She couldn't resist. 

"Just for one moment…" 

Abby slowly sat down and lay on the other side of the bed, nuzzling Clarke as well. With that impression - being united with her mother and Madi - Clarke slowly drifted back to sleep.

Abby lay there and watched Madi fall asleep as well. Then she looked at the clock. It was almost 1:00 a.m. There was nothing left for her to do here. Except enjoy the peace and beauty of this moment. She thought about her agreement with Echo. If she brought the stray Murphy to the medical bay for a follow-up, she would give her and Bellamy access to Clarke's room. Though she resisted the idea, she knew it was the only option. Especially since Kane was also putting gentle pressure on her to allow them to visit. After all, Bellamy wouldn't be able to function properly if he wasn't allowed to see her.

With both girls asleep, Abbie took a moment to stop and catch her breath. Clarke was alive. In fact, everyone was safe. Now it was time to heal all their wounds, both mental and physical.

After a while, she heard a cautious knock at the door. She quickly got up to investigate who was at the door. When she opened the door, she was greeted with a passionate kiss. It was Marcus Kane.

"Come in quickly," Abby told him after they kissed again and she closed the door behind him.

After a few steps into the room, he turned and waited for Abby to come close. Together they approached the bed in silence while he rested his uninjured arm on her shoulder in a gesture of support. Abby instinctively took his arm and looked into his face. She wanted to say something, but she couldn't. Neither could Marcus. She laid her head on his right shoulder and watched as Clarke and Madi slept arm in arm. It was healing, without question, just to watch them.

But Abby's heart still felt like it could sink to the bottom at any moment. She still struggled with her emotions. The realization that they had all suffered so terribly. First on the ark, although there were still some beautiful moments to remember. Then after they had landed on Earth during the conflict with the Grounders, then the fight against Mount Weather, then against A.L.I.E and Azgeda, before they had finally sought shelter from Praimfaya, only to find themselves in a self-made hell called the Second Dawn Bunker.

She and Marcus were broken people. Traumatized, shaken, and full of regret for the choices they had made in their lives. Although some of them seemed to have no alternative

And yet. Abby felt the pain she had caused. Clarke loved her. Despite everything. And Marcus was even willing to die for her in Octavia's fighting pit. She couldn't forgive herself for making him do that, even though he did it willingly. Out of love for the woman he loved.

"How can I ever make it right," Abby asked him after finally finding her voice.

Kane looked at her with concern. It was depressing to see this confident and determined woman to be this depressed. This was not the Abby he had fallen in love with. 

"Abby..." he began, holding her with both arms.

"Marcus..." She tried to stop him from moving his injured arm, but as soon as he got a hold of her, she fell silent. As she always did when he touched her like that. She felt safe and knew that he was guiding her now. Even though they had gone from friends to adversaries and even temporary enemies on the Ark, he always had this certain charisma and aura about him. He always seemed sure of himself, even when he was unsure or wrong in his opinion. He always seemed confident. But despite their past, despite their wrong decisions, she also couldn't forget how often he made the right decision. Especially when she, or even Clarke, hadn't.

"Start small. With things you can really change. Like your daughter... and Madi. Take care of them. Let them know that you are there for them, even if they don't need you all the time..."

"Us, Marcus. They need us..." Abby corrected him. He gave her a touched smile before she made the first move, kissing him this time. Love had certainly felt short these past months.

"I need you Marcus"

"I'm here for you, Abby. Always," he hugged her and kissed her neck in return before whispering in her ear, "I need you too. Don't forget that."

"You are such a good doctor. Even when you couldn't treat Clarke. You treated me. And don't forget, you taught Jackson a lot. So in a way, you still saved her. And there are so many people who need your help now and in the future. You have to get clean again. You have to become yourself again. Think of yourself and your family before you think of others. Because otherwise you can't help them and you can't help yourself."

He was right. She realized she needed to get a grip, get a break, and find a way to live with her past. The next few weeks would be challenging, tough, and probably even bad at times. But for a better future, for redemption, it was necessary. Not just for her. For many. Like Octavia. Or Dyoza. Knowing that she wasn't alone on this rocky path gave her a little strength. And to have a family at her side for once after so many years lifted her spirits even more.

She smiled at Kane as they stood arm in arm at the foot of the bed, still looking at the sleeping girls.

"Thank you." She sobbed, moved by his words of care and support. "You are as inspiring as Jake was. Thank you for caring for his spirit."

Unbeknownst to them, Madi began to smile. Unlike Clarke, she had been awakened by Abby and Kane's conversation. She had heard Kane's words and agreed with him unconditionally while pretending to sleep.

"I need you Clarke. And I'm here for you if you need me... forever," Abby whispered. Family always comes first... 

Kane then glanced at Clarke, "I'm proud of her."

"I don't deserve to be standing here. Jake should be standing here. He should be sharing this moment with her... with you..." he added after watching them for another moment. Although he loved Abby more than anything, standing here made him feel like a foreign body.

"Don't say that, Marcus. Jake didn't want us to suffer. But I agree. He should be here. Standing where we are. He was a better man than we are. Maybe he is the only one who should be here.

"In peace may you leave this shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels until our final journey to the ground, may we meet again...", Kane quoted Arks' long-forgotten prayer.

"Vera...", Abby remembered how high his mother held her faith.

"I never believed in those words. But now I regret that I didn't show them more care and appreciation".

"After Callie was floated, I was devastated. I have always been a strong advocate for exceptional law enforcement. Even in Jake's case. I lost myself along the way. I didn't care about anything at the time... What was the point of sacrificing their lives for the greater cause? There had to be a purpose. I couldn't stop. Even though I wanted to..."

"It's okay, Marcus. Now we have to take the burdens. Like you said..." Abby told him. She tried to imagine the hard times Madi and Clarke had to go through while they were alone.

"I should have done it with her after her father floated away. Hugged her, kissed her. Comfort her", Abbie sobbed as tears streamed down her face, "but instead she was kept in a cold cell. Alone. Without love..."

"Abbie...", Kane grabbed her and hugged her. "You know this was beyond your power. But we should have allowed it. Not just in your case. A lot of parents never saw their children again. And vice versa."

Kane's truth sounded harsh. Clarke and Abby belonged to the happier families, who at least had something like a reunion.

"I'm glad she wasn't in the bunker," Kane said. He remembered himself desperately trying to stop Abby from going out when she thought she heard knocking from outside.

"She tried to get in", Abby said, "more than once."

Kane made a horrified and yet disbelieving face "What?" 

"She really tried to dig us out. She was there. First alone, later with Madi's help. They never got through", she said while still looking at his frozen face.

"If she had been in the bunker... they would never have met... Madi would not have survived. It was their destiny to find each other. To be there for each other."

"She had a better life in those six years than we did. This should be some kind of consolation...", he comfortet her.

"Yes. I know... It was her luck. And Madi's too. She left Bellamy in Polis to die in the fighting pit after he gave Madi the flame. I have never seen her so protective. And worried. She reminds me of me... Too much actually, but I don't want her to become like me... I want her to go her own way. To find peace and finally not have the burden of responsibility".

"Abby, stop it. I mean it. Clarke has always gone her own way. Yes, she struggles at times, is weak at times, and makes mistakes. But she's your daughter. She'll find her way in our new reality. As do we"

"She didn't want Madi to become Commander... I saw what Madi and Bellamy's decision did to her", Abby said worriedly, "You didn't see her face. She did what I would have done. She asked me what she should do... and I told her to do whatever it was necessary..." She gasped, "You know how hard I pushed Thellonius to send the children down. Just to keep Clarke from being floated. She would have floated. She... We wouldn't have made an excuse in her case..."

"I know...", Kane murmured, "But we can work on that later. Bellamy seems to care about her, too. And they listen to each other. They work much better together than we ever did. They... we will all make the right decisions this time. But first, let us take a breath. The storm hasn't even reached the Valley yet, but it will hit very soon. Let us ride out this storm and just live for the moment. Simple as that..."

"Yeah, that... sounds good," Abby agreed as Kane gently massaged her back and gave her a passionate kiss on her neck.

"If she's awake, can I talk to her?" He asked her respectfully.

"Yeah, sure," Abby said, "You didn't have time to talk to her at all."

"There's no rush", Kane added, but Abby just smiled at him.

"But first let them... let them sleep and spend some time together. We, Bellamy and the others can wait...", she meant and started to push him gently towards the door.

"Will you come with me?" he asked her, holding her hand.

Abby hesitated, "Yes, but I need to check the patients again."

"Okay. Then I will just go back to the bridge and make sure everything is okay. But afterwards you come to our quarters and we will sleep a little".

"Yes..." she agreed and kissed him one last time.

"She's strong. She'll be fine", Kane said, looking at Clarke and Madi before turning around to the door. Strange. It felt like his whole family was there. For the first time...

"Sleep well Clarke. Sleep well Madi", Abby said silently before turning around and leaving hand in hand with Kane.

At the same time...

The door to Bellamy and Echo's quarters was right in front of her. Octavia hesitated. Her desire to finally talk to Bellamy and apologize to him was more urgent than ever. But at the same time, she knew that her brother had other worries right now: Clarke.

She spoke to him only briefly in the last hours. She did not go with the others to evacuate the bunker. Instead, she stayed and helped Jackson and Abigail treat the wounded, including Murphy and Clarke.

Not now…

With a heavy heart, she lifted her hand from the door and walked back into the hallway. Octavia had no destination. No purpose. Nothing. Her life felt empty and meaningless. The people she passed, the ones who recognized her, gave her that special look. Of fear. Of anger. Of hate.

She was alone. 

Her feet carried her through the empty corridor. Most people were asleep or in the mess hall. Mixing with the people wasn't the smartest choice she could have made considering her history as Bloodreina, but she was honest with herself: She didn't care.

Without realizing it, she went straight to the mess hall, but when she entered, she was surprised to find only a few people sitting there. One of them was Niylah, who was sitting alone, trying to eat something.

Octavia pulled herself together. She went to her table, trying not to attract attention. Niylah had already spotted her and gave her a curious look.

"Did you sleep?", Niylah asked Octavia after she sat down across from her.

"Not much," Octavia replied. She couldn't remember the last time she slept for more than a few hours. Her body was so used to this routine by now that any sudden change would probably cause her significant problems. She was always on guard.

"You don't look well, Octavia," Niylah said in her warm voice. She wasn't referring to her broken nose, though, because Abby had done a fantastic job of fixing it. Even though she wasn't wearing her bandage, the wound was already healing and didn't seem to bother her anyway.

Octavia didn't answer. She looked around, trying to spot a familiar face, but after failing to do so, she decided to quickly distract herself from her own condition: "How are Clarke and Murphy?"

"Murphy is making good progress. He's already mobile again, although Abby has strictly forbidden him to move much. He was here with Echo a few moments ago. They had a short discussion before they left together..."

"And Clarke?" 

"She's still unconscious. I visited her a few hours ago, changed her bandages together with Abby"

"Will she make it?", Octavia asked worriedly. She still cared deeply for her.

"I hope so...", Niylah said. She looked sad and sounded downhearted when she talked about Clarke.

"She will be fine. She survived the fire and she will survive this", Octavia tried to lighten her mood. But really she was trying to tell herself. She knew that Clarke had held them together more than once and right now Clarke was the only way to restore some kind of order among the remnants of humanity. Together with her brother, of course. As they always did.

"Yes. You are probably right", Niylah said thoughtfully.

"Do you know where she is?" Octavia asked her. Spending time with Clarke might not only allow her to return the favor of their friendship, but also help her avoid being exposed to the others for a while longer.

"Yes, but I'm afraid you can't visit her right now. Abby refused even for Bellamy and Madi. At least for the moment".

"You're joking. Even Madi can't see her?", Octavia asked almost outraged. 

"Not long ago, you almost killed Clarke. I don't want to blame you for that. But you saw how Madi reacted. Or Bellamy. It's not only for Clarke's sake, it's also for both of them to get some rest..."

"Yes, but I can be there. For them. Please", Octavia insisted, but Niylah was already shaking her head. Those words hurt. Mostly because they were true. She had nearly killed her own brother and one of her closest friends. At least before the events in the bunker. She could have used their guidance in those years. It might have saved her from becoming what she eventually became. She wasn't herself, but she already knew that that wasn't a good excuse for anything.

"If you want to help your brother, show him that Bloodreina doesn't exist anymore. Show him that you care. And as for Clarke and Madi... She hid Madi from you because she was afraid you would hurt Madi - or worse - to maintain your power and control over Wonkru".

"I would never have harmed a child", Octavia hissed at her. She made an angry face. Her green eyes glowed as she said these words.

"Clarke and Bellamy weren't so sure about that. Like I said. Show them you have remorse. Be there for them."

Octavia laid her head on her right arm resting on the table. She took a deep, loud breath before jumping to her feet.

"Wait, where are you going?", Niylah asked her confused

"Paying redemption", Octavia almost shouted as she left the mess hall, now definitely attracting a lot of attention. In reality, she was looking for a place where no one could see or hear her screaming and crying...