Chapter 2, Reincarnation boogaloo

'Fuck did I survive' I think to myself as I float in the void, it's a strange feeling really, the human mind isn't programmed in a way to allow for grasping true void, even the concept of endless black is technically something, but to be in the presence of absolutely nothing is strange, I feel nothing, hear nothing, and see nothing, not like when your alive, when your alive you can still feel the ambient temperature, the movement of the air around you, feel the slight vibrations in the ground, hear the slight background noise present in even the quietest of environments, and see at least a few photons of light entering your eyes, but here, there is truly nothing, the only way I can describe it so the human mind can understand is an absence, a strangely uncomfortable feeling of lacking something, but for some odd reason, I can only feel exited, to be experiencing something new, something no human has likely ever experienced before, and potentially be the first entity in existence to experience this feeling, but as time goes on I realize I did not in fact survive, which I'm happy about, after all, that was the whole point, but as I sit here in the void I cant help but feel disappointed, not because no god has appeared to grant my wishes like in those novels, but simply due to one thing, one thought.

'Fuck guess I was wrong'

that's right, I'm not disappointed I died or the possibility I might be stuck here for eternity, but simply because I was wrong and there is an afterlife, no matter how much it differs from the teachings of pretty much every religion on earth, as a devout atheist and materialist I could never imagine how an afterlife would be possible, after all, no good scientific theory could ever prove the existence of souls or the like, and as such the only real materialistic theory was that our minds were a product of the makeup of our brains, the way the molecules and atoms aligned just so happening to be perfect for creating sentience, a sad, but realistic theory, after all, no one wants to imagine nothing after death, except for some people like me, who find nothing wrong with the idea, see I saw nothing wrong with everything ending after death, after all I'm a very realistic person, and I know that there is no such thing as a protagonist in real life, even if you happen to be reincarnated with your memories it would be very hard to ever achieve anything special, unless you had some special boon "golden finger" I think some people called it, to make things easier, but as a realist, I've always prided myself in my ability to see things from a bigger picture, and from all sides, and even if I never respected religion, I could understand its importance to others and why, and while I also prided myself in my ability to admit when I'm wrong, it doesn't make it any less frustrating, but I'm going off on a rant again, time to figure out what's going on here, and as I focus again on my current predicament, I suddenly realize another part of my mind has already been doing so, and It has made significant discoveries, 'odd,' I think to myself, I've never been a good multi tasker, and now suddenly I have another part of my mind running through thousands of complex calculations in the time it takes me to think a single word? impossible, what's happening? and the moment I think that I notice another train of thought start, Its a strange feeling, watching something going through millions of simulations, trying to come up with a realistic explanation with the limited knowledge at my disposal, and knowing it's still me, and I intuitively still understand everything its doing despite the fact it should be doing things well beyond the human minds capacity for processing, and it reminds me of a computers sub routines, it's ability to seamlessly split its processing power between multiple tasks, each working in perfect tandem within the limits of its coding, to come up with a solution, and as I rant in what I have now labeled, [main conscience] my "subroutines" for lack of a better word within the English language come to a conclusion, I am no longer in my human body, not really all that much of a shock to some people, but as an avid materialist it is still hard to wrap my head around, but I have found more, I seem to be a ball of energy of some kind, formless and constantly changing, and with nothing for any information to reflect off of and back to me, I'm limited to the small amounts of information I can get from the little energy leaving my body in the direction of my reference plane, which considering my seemingly high energy efficiency, seems to be but a small amount of light radiation, I have no color, the light emitted from my form being the weakest of radio waves imaginable, but for some reason still understandable to me, and I somehow know I can intuitively manipulate my form however I wish, so for science I will myself to move my plane of reference around my form, and now I can see and feel everything within a sphere around me, including myself, a strange feeling but no matter, using the radio waves wavelength as a fixed unit of size and the time taken to travel a certain distance, something that should have taken precise tools to measure that I somehow do intuitively, I make two more discoveries, I know that my form is currently a 1cm perfect sphere emitting a very small amount of radiation in the form of radio waves, and also that for some reason In the time it has taken for me to go through all these thoughts about 1 one billionth of a second has passed, which should be impossible, but I guess I should stop comparing my new self with a humans short comings, and another thing, finally something else has happened in this void, I watch as a wave of unknown energy passes through the void, something that despite all of my knowledge I cant place, It has no mass, and no physical energy, and yet can not only be felt, but seems to be manipulating the space around it, a seeming impossibility considering space doesn't even exist in this void, but as the wave passes over me, taking exactly [error] time to travel the distance of a few trillion kilometers, another impossibility, everything in reality has a travel time, or should, but no matter how fast my new mind seems to be capable of running, and despite it being able to measure everything within trillions of kilometers of me, there was no registered travel time, it simply appeared everywhere at the same time, and now I am once again surrounded by stuff, no longer an empty void, I can feel the presence of space time around me, the generation of virtual particles around me coming into existence before annihilating themselves undeniable evidence of such, and not only that, but I feel something else appear in my reference frame, a large mass of energy, similar to myself, but dumping unimaginable amounts of energy into its surroundings, less dense than myself, but with 97 trillion times the energy, and as I watch things form around it in slow motion, new atoms and elements simply popping into existence I watch in aw, soaking up everything that is happening as my mind struggles to comprehend the sheer impossibility of what I'm watching, everything I've experienced in the last few moments of my life already destroying my perception of reality despite the what I now know to be 23 milliseconds of life, and as I watch, slowly things form more and more, giant plumes of quarks and atoms floating around be and I watch and watch, taking in the majesty of creation, until after 3 seconds of staring, the 'entity' finally seems to notice my existence, and as abruptly as it began, everything stops, no more energy leeks, no more creation, and all that already exists seems to freeze in place as the entity focuses on me, and a hear something, a weird sound like none I've ever heard, yet I perfectly understand, the sounds seeming to not represent words but concepts, and I feel confusion, confusion as to why I exist?

(AN, they will be talking in English like normal from now on for a better reading experience but they are still talking in concepts)

"well that's certainly strange, I was sure nothing was here before me, so what might you be little one?"