Before Summer: Flashback

"If everything was perfect, you would never learn and you would never grow."

- Beyonce Knowles

Since the beginning of this year until now, it has been a rough start of a new year. Many heart broken things happened to me. It was like there's nothing that could release the pains in my chest. In January, a virus called Covid-19 Coronavirus spread from China to all around the world, or that's what people said.

Another thing that happened was my mom planned to have a divorce with my dad, and take me to another state with her at the beginning of this summer. My dad didn't know about this plan , so it was a secret between my mom and me. My mom was tired of my dad and wanted to leave. I can see that she's tired too. She had to work hard for many hours, and my dad just wanted an easy job. He was also rude to me and my mom, and was sometimes jealous also. Well true, if he was jealous, that's mean he really loves my mom. But, he was like a psycho, and wasn't nice with mom when they argue.

On February 14, my mom successfully wrote a divorce file, and the information was sent to my dad. It was funny to me, and heart broken to my dad because it was on Valentine's day. By this time he got the information and knew about it already. So after that day, my parents frequently fighted. I didn't care, and was silent. My dad wanted me to do something, like getting him and mom back together. But I know clearly what I want, and it's to destroy this family relationship. So, I didn't even do anything when my dad expected me to get them back together. That causes my dad and I to fight frequently, too.

For some other kids, the news of their parents getting a divorce would be a tragedy. But I was not sad, instead I was desperate for the day to leave this family. I didn't think it was a tragedy, since I always hated my dad. He was so mean and childish. He believes that he can treat me however he wants, because I'm his daughter. Also, I never care about him, and take this family relationship seriously. Besides when I was little, he didn't live with me. He came to American before us. So, I live with my mom in our home country, and I'm used to it. Others might think I'm heartless. But I believe that my dad deserves this for how he treated us.

Somewhere at the beginning of March, all the schools around the world were shut down, including where I live obviously. This was to stop the virus from spreading, because a lot of people had died. So, I had to stay home, but I still have to attend school at home and do homework. That also made my dad and I fighted more.

In the middle of March, someone confessed their love to me. I was surprised, because normally I have crushes on someone else, and nobody ever likes me. His name was Vinh, and he also came from my home country. He was the same age as me, and went to the same school as me, too. I had the same math class as him for the first semester, and was his partner for a few times. The teacher wanted me to help him, since he was a second language learner. He was my friend, but I didn't really think he would like me. But now it's too late, he said "I used to like you!" That means he doesn't like me anymore. He said he didn't like me anymore, because I was bisexual and I had to move away in the summer. Before school was shut down, I went to the boba shop with him as a friend. He said that his friend told him that I have a crush on him. I said no, and explain that I was bisexual. So, that's how he found out. I wasn't really happy that he confessed to me.

I meant it was too late, because after he confessed to me. I started to think about him frequently, and sometimes even dreamed about him. So, I figure that I had feelings for him. Some of my friends knew about this, and told me to flirt with him and get him back. So, I decided to flirt with him and get him back, but he rejected me. I don't want my friend to know, so lie that I was fine and didn't really like him that much. But inside of me, I was hurt.

Later in March, I learned that my mom and I can't continue on with our plan. Because of the virus. We decided to move next summer. I was half happy and half sad that we couldn't move. I was happy, because I wasn't ready to leave my friends. But I was sad, because I have to see my crush every day and know that he doesn't like me. Even though we still stay as friend, and would not make things awkward between us. Another reason I was sad, because I had to live with my annoying dad for another year.

My fighting problem with my dad had gotten worse in April. We fight almost every week. In late April, we had a really big fight. It caused my dad to ban me from playing games and watching movies/videos on the computer. He started to act more annoying, rude, mean and childish. He also made mom bring my phone to work with her, or give it to him so he can keep it. So that I couldn't play games and watch movies/videos on my phone either. But mom sometimes sneaked the phone at home, so I could use it.

In May, I felt so bored and depressed. All I can do is text with my friends, do some craft, do my Homework, or anything else besides playing games and watching movies/videos on the computer. But sometimes my mom left the phone at home without my dad even knowing. I knew that summer is coming, and also my dad won't give me back the permission to do whatever I want on the computer any time soon. That means I have to spend 3 months doing nothing. I'm not looking forward to being a prisoner at home. So, I had been hoping that I could book a flight to my home country and visit my grandma. Due to the coronavirus, people spread the disease and die. To prevent the spreading, if someone was flying to another country. Those people have to be isolated for 2 weeks. That means if I go and visit my home country. I would be isolated at a certain place for those weeks, and it was to make sure I don't have the disease. I'm not going to waste 2 week after flying to my home country and 2 weeks after coming back to American. I was hoping that they would shut down that thing, and the virus is slowing down. So, I could fly to my home country and run away from my prison.