The real him

Daniel

It felt like the blood in my body was totally drained, and oxygen was kicked out of my lungs. Is it really that obvious that I'm not Jay? I wondered as I observed their faces.

"I-I can explain…" I stuttered, as I thought of a reasonable explanation I could give, but there was nothing.

Haruto, the youngest, and the only foreigner in the group, suddenly burst into laughter, as he pointed at me. "I can't believe you actually played along with a joke for the first time. Acting all guilty like you really are a stranger."

The others also laughed at what Haruto said, and relief washed over me, as I joined in the laughter—rather awkwardly.

The others immediately stopped laughing when they heard me laugh. Have I slipped up again? I couldn't help but ask myself internally.

"Did you guys hear what I just heard?" Minho, the main rapper of the group said.

"Yes. Jay just laughed, and there is no camera in sight." Taeyang replied.

Devin narrowed his eyes at me. "First of all, the ever so perfect, stylish, and handsome Jay, came downstairs wearing that," he said, pointing at the clothes I was wearing, "then played along with a joke, which he never does, and now he is laughing without being filmed." He continued and then moved closer to me, placing his hand on my forehead. "Are you okay, Jay?" He asked with concern.

Are they messing with me? From what Devin said, and their reactions all together, I began to doubt if I knew Jay at all. The Jay I knew, was no doubt a perfectionist, and the most handsome man I had ever seen, but that wasn't why he was my bias. He was my bias because of his bubbly personality. His gorgeous smile, and infectious laughter could make one forget their sorrows, and be filled with hope.

Now, I wasn't sure if that was the real him, or if that was the persona he only showed to the public, in order to be the fans heartthrob, and favorite. No, I'm in no position to judge him like that. I reprimanded myself, convincing myself that it might just be a misunderstanding.

"I also would like to ask the same thing, but we don't have time for that guys. Let's head to the practice room now. We can't keep E-squad waiting." Ji-Yeong said, urging us to leave the living room.

I sighed in relief as they obediently headed out, and I followed after them. Ji-Yeong's words replayed in my head 'we can't keep E-squad waiting'. What did he mean by that?

Oh shit! I immediately realized what we were about to do, and my stomach churned. The music video for dynasty was released just last night, so I was sure we were heading to the practice room, so we could watch the music video while being filmed, so the fans could see our reaction to the music video.

My face heated up at the thought of being watched by millions of fans. I had never once stood in front of a camera to be filmed before. Everything was just happening so fast, and I felt like I would pass out soon.

We entered the practice room, and I was greeted by the presence of some staff members. A set of chairs, and a table were also in the middle of the room.

"Hello!" The boys greeted the staff members, and slightly bowed, which I also did, and they greeted us back.

The make-up artists touched us up a bit, going for a natural look, but highlighting the right facial features.

"Alright, take your seats boys. We'll start rolling soon." The director said as, the cameraman set things up.

There were three seats arranged in front of the table, and then four more seats behind the three seats. I walked over to one of the four seats that were at the back, and sat. The rest of them too, took their seats, except Haruto, who was standing beside me.

I slowly looked up at him. Looking at him up close, I found him just so cute, with his slightly chubby cheeks, and his fox-like eyes, his hair was also dyed blonde. I felt like squishing those cheeks. "Is there something you need?" I asked with difficulty.

"Why aren't you seated at your spot?" He asked, pointing at the middle seat at the front row.

Another slip up. I wanted to facepalm myself in frustration. How could I have forgotten that Jay always sat at the center during stuff like this?

I smiled at Haruto, and replied, "You can sit there instead, if you don't mind."

"Really?" He asked in what seemed like surprise, and when I nodded, he happily skidded over to the middle seat, and sat.

There was only one way to describe him at the moment—cuteness overload. I shook my head, as I smiled.

"Stop creeping me out." whispered Devon who was seating beside me, startling me a bit. "Why the sudden change. You never let anyone take the center seat. Are you trying to mess with us, or did you maybe… fall off from bed while sleeping, and hit your head?"

As I looked at Devon, who in my opinion was the second best visual in the group, I suddenly remembered something which made me slightly uncomfortable, and embarrassed. Jay and Devon were very close—or at least, that was what I was made to believe from their interactions during variety shows, and their live streams. Their friendship was given the name Jayvon by the fans, but there were also many fans who didn't ship them as friends, and instead shipped them as something more.

There were many edited videos of them, which made them appear like they were in love, and there were so many intimate fan-arts of them. I promise I didn't intentionally look them up on the internet. I just happened to see them.

I didn't respond to his question, and he continued looking at me, as if reading my thoughts.

"I'm ready guys!" The cameraman said, and Devon finally looked away from me. "Rolling in three… two… one." He said, and started filming.

Haruto who was in the center, shyly tuned back to face us. "Should we say our greeting first?"

We all laughed. They didn't usually bother to greet, and used to just say a thing or two before going right to watching the video. Taeyang, the oldest member of the group, spoke up, "Since the youngest says so, who are we to say no. Hello, everyone! We are…"

Then the rest of us joined in as one voice, "Euphoric Dreamers!"

Haruto seemed to have gotten over his shyness as he said, "As you all might already know, the music video for our title track, dynasty was released last night, by 11pm. So we are gathered here to watch it together for the first time." Then he played the video on the laptop which had been provided by the staff.

The sound of my newest favorite song from the group suddenly filled the room, as we watched the music video together. When all seven of them were shown in the start of the music video, they all showed authentic reactions. There were 'woahs' and 'ohs', and some of them made comments on how handsome they all looked.

With their reactions, I believed that it was either they truly hadn't watched the music video before, or they were really so good at faking their reactions. Either way, I smiled as I still found it awesome that I got to be able to see their reactions, live and direct. But Jay isn't here, a voice whispered in my head, and that made my smile immediately disappear.