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SCEPTIX: THE LEGEND OF MAGIC

Autor: luciel_707
Fantasy
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What is SCEPTIX: THE LEGEND OF MAGIC

Lesen Sie den Roman SCEPTIX: THE LEGEND OF MAGIC des Autors luciel_707, veröffentlicht auf WebNovel.There are two existed worlds, the first one is human world and the second is the magic world. Four years ago the tragedy of kyrie occured where the girl named Zen and the whole village swallowed by th...

Zusammenfassung

There are two existed worlds, the first one is human world and the second is the magic world. Four years ago the tragedy of kyrie occured where the girl named Zen and the whole village swallowed by the abbyss but somehow she was rescued by the master of the red country, noa with blood tepes. After six years she awakened, some of masters in different country are disagreed to let a human like her to stay in magic world . Her memories were collected and remmember her first love, hydro and her twin sister, Zein but she was nowhere to found. Zen felt that she could find her in magic world because of what happen to them all. But needed some help from them, noa, assigned tepes to take care of her until she find her sister and her companions who experience the same tragedy. But it wasn't easy task to begin with. She have to learn what kind of world that is so much different from theirs. A unexpected happen to them both.

Tags
5 tags
# ROMANCE
# MAGIC
# BETRAYAL
# VAMPIRE
# CONQUER
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Sighgray
SighgrayLv10Sighgray

First, I won't sugarcoat this review just like the others. I think what they're doing is not really helping you but harming you instead. Because that way, you won't learn. One thing you need is a VERY SERIOUS EDITING. Words that are needed to be capitalized are not capitalized, like names of the characters for example. There's a lack of proper punctuation marks in some sentences. The tenses are all over the place. If you're going to use present tense in your narration, then use it throughout. Dialogues are weirdly constructed. Your dialogues are like this --> "sentence" - name of character. That's not how a proper dialogue was supposed to be written. If you're going to write it like that, you might as well write it like a script. A proper dialogue is like this --> "Sentence," said [character name]. There are a lot of proper grammar tools out there that you could use. Or better yet, read traditional English published books. Learn on how they're structured. Now for the story, the idea was there. My problem was, I couldn't really get into the story since there's so many grammatical errors that I just couldn't immerse myself into the world you're building. In a story, a good idea is not enough to make up for everything else. Some might reason that 'it's okay, my idea is great, who cares about grammar and proper sentence construction?'. That's just bullsh*t. You're making yourself a disservice if you believe that. That way, you won't ever improve. I can see that English is not your first language. I suggest that you just write this in your own language first. And then slowly translate it into English. I think that would be better. Sorry that I couldn't give this a much higher rating. Best of luck to your writing! 🖒

4yr

kazesenken
kazesenkenLv3kazesenken

The core premise of this novel starts off interesting, but I personally find myself having difficulty reading through the first 5 chapters. One major issue is the grammar and flow of the story. It progress fast, likely to fast for the reader to fully follow. I imagine that the author sees what is going on mentally, but those details are missing on paper. You need to take the time to flush out the character descriptions and visual descriptions of events going on. It feels too much like a movie without the visual imagery to help back it up. While I realize English is not your native language, the writing quality needs significant improvement. Awkward flow and spelling mistakes actually detract from the story's meaning in some cases, and as an English native, I find that it makes it hard to follow moments in your story. One thing that I think the authors does well is the dialogue. The little bits of character that I could understand strongly came from these parts. They could still be improved by writing what the characters are doing as they say the dialogue, instead of using a -*character name* as a sign to denote the speaker. Overall, this could be a promising novel, if the author takes to time to go back and correct mistakes and slow down to describe more of what is going on in the moment. If you re-read the text and cannot visualize what is going on by that alone, then those parts need work.

4yr
ShinSungmi
ShinSungmiLv4ShinSungmi

I don't usually read such genres of novel. However, as far as I have read, the novel started out fine, and I find myself being intrigued as the story progresses. The main leads seem fine to me at this point, and five chapters aren't enough to assure something. Nevertheless, I can see the potential in the story. When it comes to writing style, it is quite easy to read. The vocabulary used was fine, and it would be better if it was slightly advanced. There were couple of grammatical errors— missing commas, uncapitalized first letters, and wrong sentence structures. At places, gaps were left between the punctuation and the letters. Anyway, good job!

4yr
ILLYAchan
ILLYAchanLv5ILLYAchan

Spoiler enthüllen

4yr
Gourmet_DAO
Gourmet_DAOLv7Gourmet_DAO

Spoiler enthüllen

4yr
bitterreaderako21
bitterreaderako21Lv1bitterreaderako21

This is my first time reading an all English novel and it really does impact a part of me, wanting to read more and I’m excited in finishing this one 💕

4yr
Cynk_Napp
Cynk_NappLv5Cynk_Napp

A magical fantasy romance still in the early part of the story Good interplay of the characters. Easy to read. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

4yr
Veronica8
Veronica8Lv5Veronica8

The aim of this review is to provide constructive feedback that may help with author's development. Author is welcome to delete this review once it has been read by them. In this review I looked at the summary and the first chapter. The book has promise with an ambitious plot judging by what I've read. Since I didn't go beyond the first chapter, story line is not what this review is about. I felt the basics of construction needed to be the focus here. Looking at the summary. As a reader, what do you really want me to know? What feelings do you want me to be feeling? Right now, I have no idea. This is what I can gather. The story is told from two world perspectives. A human world and magic world. Something happened four years again that involved a girl called Zen and village being kaput in a void. After that, I'm confused. I wanted to move away from the book before opening to the chapter. The summary needs to sum up the book with few words, in a logical order and that will draw out the feelings you want from readers. It also mustn't give away too many spoilers. It has to be a hook to make the reader want to go to the first chapter. Below is example for reference. It's meant to be unrelated to your story. I used emotions "determination" and "power" for the hooks. [Zen woke to an alien world after being held in stasis for six years. She found herself plummeted into the deeps of political games between the overpowering Noa and Tabris families of Magic World. An unwanted alien in a world on the brink of civil war. She must recover more of her memories in order to learn of what happened to her home and how to return to it. Being a stranger amongst the cut throat, diabolical and self-centred Magic World civilians will not make that an easy task. It's difficult to know who to trust. Zen has no choice but to walk the path of a pariah amongst Magic World's seedy underbelly to survive. Lingering in her shadows is an undeclared truth that may threatened the order and sustainability of both worlds.] The first chapter, to be honest, was hard to read. I recommend using markdown language that we use in the forums to represent italic and bold. As you don't need to explain what the symbols mean. https://***.markdownguide.org/cheat-sheet/ In the first chapter. A girl wakes to the conversation of non-human creatures talking over her. After that, I'm lost. I'll focus more on technical aspects. The grammar in the chapter isn't too bad. The common errors for new writers was present. Mixing tenses and run-on sentences was your culprits here. Below is an example of this. First paragraph. Mix tenses are obvious here. "As I looking..." sentence is present. "I heard..." is past. And the coma break should be a full stop as they are two different conditions. For other areas of the chapter. The pacing was too fast. You need to take some time to introduce your characters and world. If the girl was insignificant as a character at this point. You need to give the talking characters more charm and personality in order for us to understand their importance to the story. More descriptions of the world from the characters eyes was needed here. Use your characters to drive and show the scene to your readers. This is generally the best approach. Finally, every chapter, scene and character action matters to story line. They should always progress the plot to the final end. Even if they are fillers. Fillers are pieces of the same story line, so has to be connected to a main part of the story and support the progression. Sorry if the rating looks harsh, but this is where you start. Writing is like any skill to master. It requires knowing what areas you need to strengthen, reading and exploring more stories to discover other ways of word usage and various methods that will help you hone your own style. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Continue to write, read and growing in the craft. All the best.

4yr
Norah_Koch
Norah_KochLv5Norah_Koch

Hiya! What an imagination~ I see an action-packed novel. The imagination is awesome. It's a must-try, everyone. The grammar is okay, but I like the story and progression. Looking forward to more~

4yr
luciel_707
luciel_707Autorluciel_707

Well first time to publish an english story. Sorry for the grammatical errors if you encountered one or more. But i'll do my best to improve my writings. Thanks for the views and reading it, i feel pity to my story tho cause its been stock for years in my notes (4 full notebook) and the worst its in written as my first language in our country so it takes time to translate bcs of my school. For those who reading my story until it updates the schedule for that is: -saturday -sunday Or -monday How many chapters? - 3 chapters- 4-5 chapters if i have a lot of time Again thanks and see yah next week! -luciel 707-

4yr

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