Death and Rebirth

"The proton beams are up to speed; collisions will begin in 10 seconds."

-Ever since I was a little kid, I've broken everything I could get my hands on. chairs, radios, toys, TVs, and even an old microwave My parents were not too happy with me on that last one; apparently microwaves are "too dangerous" and "You can't stop over a kilovolt of current with mom's work gloves."

-Ridiculous.

"The detectors are on, right?"

She looks at me like I'm an idiot.

-I'm not an idiot; I'm just monologuing to myself.

"Yes, they are on. Have you not been paying attention?"

-Something tells me that she knows I haven't.

-I wanted to be a surgeon at one point; I mean, you get to put people back together and give them metal parts! Sadly, I only made it a semester into med school before they kicked me out. Apparently, taking apart an X-ray machine is "irresponsible." I didn't even touch the capacitor this time.

-Regardless-

"Doctor, please pay attention; every collision that you miss is thousands of taxpayer dollars down the drain."

-Like the taxpayer understands what we're doing here. Even I can barely understand what we're doing here.

'We're not going to find anything new unless we do something new. I still say we should use heavier particles.'

"We do; we run experiments with lead ions every year."

'Lead is for pansies; I mean the really heavy stuff. Uranium, Polonium, and even Francium would suffice.'

"You know full well that our equipment can't handle that sort of load."

'It's not about the equipment; it's about the science.'

"You can't do science without-

Do you see that?"

The charts that I have totally been paying attention to are beginning to drop. The temperature is falling, far faster than it should be.

-Either we are getting far fewer collisions than we projected, or some of the energy is going undetected.

"There must be something wrong with the detectors; I'm starting the shutdown sequence."

'Let's give it a few more passes just to make sure; I mean, it'd be a waste of electricity to decelerate the beams now.'

She doesn't look convinced, but she isn't starting the shutdown procedures.

-Could it be,... my natural charisma?

The temperature begins to rise again, reaching 4.4 trillion degrees Kelvin.

'See, it was just a glitch. At these insane energy levels, it's no surprise that a little bit of code got corrupted.'

"Our computers are shielded; there shouldn't be even a single volt of interference."

The temperature begins to rise further and further. It is almost as if some outside force other than the magnets is pulling the protons together.

"We can look at the data later. If I don't shut this down now, the coolant will begin to evaporate."

-That's not good.

The temperature begins to climb, literally going off the charts. From 4.4 trillion degrees Kelvin to 20 trillion degrees Kelvin

'I knew I'd break it.'

Everything turns white.

'Whelp, I'm dead.'

-I don't know how a particle accelerator could go out of control like that; there's barely a spaghetti strand of material in there at a time. If they had gone with my plan to jam-pack the thing with uranium ions, the explosion would've been far more impressive. I bet I wouldn't even have the time to think...

-Oh, I'm thinking. I'm not a philosopher; I only took one class in college, but I think therefore I am probably not dead. Either that or my thoughts are the product of some god outside of my understanding, but if these thoughts belong to the god, wouldn't that make the god me?

-Anyway, what's important is that I'm not dead...

Probably. I try to open my eyes, but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. All I can see is a dim blue light. I try to kick my legs, but they slam against something cold and hard.

-Am I in some sort of healing pod? I haven't been keeping up with the latest developments in medical technology, but I am pretty sure we don't have that.

Suddenly the light dims for a moment before returning to its usual, boring color.

I hear a strange voice. Even with the distortion, I can tell it's not human.

"This next batch looks promising; a few even seem to be awake already."

-'Batch? What am I, a chicken?'

I drift off in thought before I hear a second voice, slightly lower in tone than the first.

"Is this really the right thing to do?"

*Sigh*

The shadow grows larger, and for a moment I can see something akin to a face. There's something odd. Rather than the round face of a human, it's more angular. It looks almost like a reptile.

"It's not about what's right; it's about doing what we can. Either it's this or our race will face extinction."

"You know full well that those aren't our only options."

"An option that the High Command will never accept isn't an option. Even if the Chozo could save us, it wouldn't be worth our pride."

"And this is?"

"There's honor in being strong, isn't there? This next generation will be groomed from the very start to be the strongest our race has ever been. Even if the methods are questionable, the results will speak for themselves."

The shadow begins to fade, and for the time being, I am left with my thoughts.

-I should be dead, but I can still think. That would suggest that I am alive, but if I had survived, I should feel some pain. My thoughts are clear, so I'm not on painkillers, so the only logical explanation is that I didn't survive. If I didn't survive, and if I'm alive, then that means that I came back from the dead. That's not possible with human technology, so either it's an act of God or Aliens. I'll withhold my judgment for now, but I'm leaning towards Aliens. I'm not a fan of something that can just ignore the rules I've spent a lifetime trying to break.

I look down at my arms, but they seem.. wrong

For one, they are far smaller than I am used to.

-Not that my arms were impressive before; they were practically noodles, but now they're both short and noodly.

It's hard to make out through the fluid, but my arms look undamaged, if a bit scaly.

It feels warm, but as I float, I can't help but think.

-This is boring.

I try to push against the cold wall in front of me, and while it's uncomfortable, I'm able to get an idea of what it's made out of. It's smooth and glassy, but it's slightly colder than the silicone glass that I'm used to.

-Could it be some kind of quartz glass?

As time passes, my vision becomes clearer and clearer, and I can feel the warmth slowly draining away.

The glass is still opaque, but with the fluid draining, I can actually see my hands.

-Three fingers? This is a catastrophe! Converting from base 3 to base 10 is such a massive pain.

I call them fingers, but they're more akin to claws.

-They look sharp, I wonder...

I slash at my left arm, but rather than cleanly slicing through, they merely slide off the scaly skin.

-My nails didn't bend, so it wasn't that they were too soft. My skin is either tougher than human skin or I'm just too weak to make a difference.

*Swish*

The blue glass that had imprisoned me slides open.

I fall to the ground, still coated in a strange fluid. It's cold, but for some reason I'm not shivering.

The floor below me seems to be made out of a rough metal, and as I push myself up, I am barely able to stand.

"Impressive. P1-05 is standing already. A natural-born juvenile would not be able to stand for at least another half cycle.

I look up, and I see a strange creature staring down at me. Scaly skin with crescent-shaped glowing yellow eyes. Its hands are similar to mine, with three fingers tipped with claws, and as I look down, I see its feet. They're almost birdlike, with two toes in front and some sort of claw or spike in the back.

I try to open my mouth to speak, but I feel something crawling up my throat. I fall to my knees and cough, a thick liquid comes out of my lungs and joins the puddle I am standing in.

"Its lungs are fully developed as well, truly an improvement over p0."

As I look down at my body, it's pretty clear to see that I'm of the same race as this thing in front of me.

-I'm tempted to speak, just to see what would happen, but even I have some sense of self-preservation.

I look around desperately for something to warm me up, but all I see is cold metal and strange machinery.

I look to my left and right and see rows of tubes filled with a clear fluid.

*Beep*

A light flashes, and one of the tubes in front of me begins to open. Something falls to the floor.

-I call it something because it's impossible to identify. Sure, there are the concepts of arms and legs, but they are twisted and malformed. A thick green fluid leaks out from the twitching mass.

The creature in front of me turns around, and for a moment everything is silent.

*Sigh*

"A disappointment, but not a surprise."

A flash of light blinds me, and as the afterimage fades away, I smell the scent of burning flesh in the air.

The smell reminds me of my childhood.

-Yeah, they were right about the microwave.

It walks away, leaving me on the ground. I try to get up, but my puny body is already too exhausted to stand.

"Raise the ambient temperature; we can't afford a valuable test subject dying from mere exposure."

-'Test Subject?' Oh, I'm an experiment. To be honest, I'm not a huge fan.

Despite my best efforts, my eyes begin to close.

-The newly added warmth isn't helping, but at least it's better than freezing to-

I fall unconscious, and everything fades to black.

'Dad, why does Mr. Hammy have to die?'

"Hamsters don't live that long, and everyone dies sooner or later."

'Are you sure I can't fix him?'

"Son, he was hit by a car. There's nothing that can be done at this point."

'But how do you know if you won't let me try?'

"Please, just take my word for it. Some things are better not to see."

-I saw the blood stains on the road. Even though my father didn't let me see the body, I could tell what happened. Something fast and heavy running over something slow and squishy—that's a bad combination. I knew I couldn't save him; I knew that trying would only make things worse for him... but still

-I wasn't satisfied.

"Initiating Awakening Procedure 0 for P1-05"

Suddenly, my entire world begins to shake, and my eyes fly open.

"P1-05 appears to be dazed. Awakening Procedure 0 seems to be a tad too violent. It is suggested that a gentler approach be taken for further trials."

The room around me is white. There is no furniture, no windows, and nothing to look at besides the creature that rudely shook me awake.

"P1-05 appears to be confused; could it be from an instinctual need for a mother figure?"

-The thing in front of me looks similar to the creature from before, but it seems to be slightly smaller. Its voice is deeper as well, and I'm not sure how I can tell, but it sounds far warmer than the thing that left me on the floor to die.

-Well, I wouldn't have died, I know, but I'm still mad about being left like that.

"Attempting communication. Hello, my name is Fléissend. Would you like a treat?"

-I don't need a treat; I need clothes.

I turn my head and try to glare at him. It's difficult with my strange eyes, but I think I got the message across.

"P1-05 appears to be dissatisfied. I am unable to ascertain whether he is unable or whether he is unwilling to communicate."

-He looks unsurprised; I guess he wasn't expecting me to say anything to begin with.

"Just get on with the combat testing; we don't need them to talk, we need them to fight."

"Sir, can we afford to lose another test subject?"

"The P1 batch is defective. The odds of him surviving to adulthood are slim to none."

-I'll show you defective!

I shake my hand at the voice coming from the ceiling before realizing my mistake.

"P1-05 seems to be angry... could he have understood what you were saying?"

"Unlikely, I've read his brain scans, and while they are a cycle or two ahead a standard juvenile, that is far from the level needed to fully understand speech."

The wall opens up in front of me.

-Impressive; I don't even see a hinge.

We make our way through a cold and empty hallway until eventually we reach a window. I look in and see a room filled wall to wall with what I can only assume are weapons.

-I don't know what they fire, and to be honest, I don't want to know.

Suddenly the glass slides down to the floor, and I am shoved through. I land flat on my face.

"Starting the P1-05-0 combat test. Subject will likely perish."

*Click*

I roll out of reflex and barely manage to dodge a red beam. It slams into the white wall and leaves behind a scorch mark. As I look around the room, I see quite a few scorch marks.

"P1-05 has displayed an adequate audio reaction time."

I stand up, but it is not long before I see a flash of light and dive back onto the floor again. I hear a

*Thump* as something slams into the wall behind me.

"P1-05 has displayed an adequate visual reaction time."

I get back up and look around, desperately searching for whatever projectile is coming next, but out of the tens of guns lining the walls, I have no clue which is about to fire.

"Diagnostics complete, beginning combat trial 5-0."

-Oh, oh no..

A small hole in the ceiling opens up, and a creature falls through it. It is large and fluffy, almost dog-like in appearance. It lands on the ground with a soft

*Thwump*

-Aww, it looks just like my old pet, Sr. Doggy.

-My parents let me name our pets, and I was excellent at it.

It sniffs the air before turning around and growling at me.

-Oh.

It dashes towards me, and I desperately try to back away from it. This works for a few seconds, until I slam into the wall. It slows to a trot, continuing to growl at me.

I try to dodge to the side, but it's far faster than I am and is able to quickly cut me off. I press my hands against the wall, looking for something, anything, that can help me, when my hand touches the bolt that was fired at me a few moments ago. It's not huge, but neither am I, and I desperately try to wrestle it free from the wall.

The creature sees this and begins to dash towards me.

I pull with all of my might, but that doesn't amount to much.

In the last moment, I roll to the side, and the creature slams into the wall. A beam flies towards where I was standing, but even while disoriented, the creature is able to sidestep it. One of its long, fluffy ears is smoking, though.

The creature is wounded, but it is still between me and my only weapon.

-Oh. Weapon, huh?

I run as fast as I can to the other side of the room. The creature follows me from a distance, but it is far more cautious than last time. I make it to the other side of the room and stand still, spreading my arms out.

The creature is incensed by this and lunges toward my throat. I let my legs go limp and fell to the floor.

*HOWL*

The creature falls to the ground with a smoking hole through its face.

-Heheh, I knew the weapons were for more than just testing my reflexes. To be honest, the chances of that particular weapon firing just as I needed them were slim, but it wasn't based on luck. I knew that the researcher was reluctant to let me die, and I knew that he would figure out what I was trying to do.

-I doubt the same trick will work again, but at least now I know that I can use the room to my advantage.

I try to stand, but my legs are far too exhausted.

"P1-05 has passed the combat test, barely. While reflexes were adequate and hand-to-hand capabilities were non-existent, P1-05's intelligence has been shown to be very slightly exceptional."

-Very slightly?

I can't tell if he's underselling my abilities to help me or if he's being honest and I'm just stupid. I mean, I may have been a self-proclaimed genius as a human, but to an alien race, I have no clue whether or not that means anything.

I struggle to keep my eyes open, but it's a futile effort.

-Yeah, I'm just going to take a little nap.

"P1-05 appears to be sleeping. Either he is aware that the test has ended, or his exhaustion has overcome his survival instincts."

"Further testing is needed."

Initiating awakening procedure 1 for P1-05"

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*

I try to get to my feet, but it appears that even in a new body, I am not fit enough. I awkwardly fall back to the floor before pushing off with my arms. I manage to stand, but I feel a deep burning sensation in my legs.

-I guess not even alien technology can get rid of sore muscles.

"P1-05 appears to be displaying issues with basic motor function. Could this be a sign of an underlying cognitive deficit?"

-I'm pretty sure that they'll dissect me if I start speaking, but that might be preferable to this.

"Hello, P1-05, we'll run some cognitive tests before your daily rations are allotted. I hope that you'll perform adequately."

-Adequately, huh.

The wall slides open yet again, and we find ourselves in the same, sterile hallway. This time, however, we take a few turns before arriving at our destination. I look through the window, and I see a table filled with stray wires and the partially disassembled parts of what appears to be one the guns I saw in my earlier test.

The window slides open, but this time I'm ready and manage to land on my feet after being shoved in.

"Initializing Cognitive Test P1-05-0."

The wall behind me slides up, revealing bars covering a dark hole. I sniff the air, and the smell is rather foul.

-I have a bad feeling about this.

Suddenly, I hear a scraping sound growing louder and louder. I look behind me and see a bird-like creature staring at me. It's a bit like an emu mixed with a chicken, if chickens wanted to murder me.

-Well, I guess roosters already want to murder me, but that's not important.

Ever so slowly, the bars begin to rise, and I quickly realize what this test is about.

I grab up all of the loose wires and parts that I can reach and start working on them.

-I won't be able to fix an alien weapon in a few minutes, but that doesn't mean that these parts are useless.

I tear through the scattered parts, looking for the piece that I needed.

-Come on, come on, there has to be a power source in here somewhere

Finally, I see it: a small rectangular box with metal prongs sticking out of it. I look behind me and see that the bird is already trying to squeeze under the slowly rising bars.

-Alright, I have no idea if this is an electrical battery, but assuming that they're not actively trying to kill me, it shouldn't be empty. If it's not empty, then it contains energy, and if it's used for firing the weapon that I saw earlier, it has to be quite a bit of energy.

I grab a wire and begin to wrap it around one of the prongs. I pull the other end of the wire up and leave it hanging, just above the other prong.

*SCREECH*

I look up and see the bird charging towards me. I wait for a moment, and then I chuck my device at it.

It flies through the air, rather slowly, actually, but the bird doesn't try to dodge it.

With a soft thud, the box slams into the bird. The wire is pressed down onto the other prong, and the circuit is completed.

*BOOM*

The short circuit causes the battery to release all of its energy at once. I am hit by flying pieces of bird meat, and I can't help but notice.

-It smells like chicken.

"Subject P1-05 has passed the cognitive test with satisfactory results. While it is hoped that the future P batches will be intelligent enough to reassemble the electron accelerator, identifying and using its power source as a weapon is sufficient for the P1 batch."

-I can't help but feel that I'm setting the bell curve here. Sorry, future Ps, your sacrifices won't be in vain... probably.

The floor of the room begins to lift up, soon reaching the window. The window slides down, and I walk back towards Fléissend. He's holding a cube in his hands.

"Satisfactory work; you've earned yourself an extra ration."

I grab the cube and can't help but notice its texture. It's as hard as a rock, and I get the feeling that it would make a decent weapon.

"You know, a few cycles ago, we didn't even have rations. We just ate what we wanted and who we wanted."

-Who?

"Proctor-01, need I remind you that personal interactions with the subjects are to be kept to a minimum?"

"Yes, sir."

-So he's watching me. Heheheh, it must have been pretty boring watching me sleep in an empty room.

We walk through the hallways until eventually we reach a small room with a table in the middle.

Fléissend pulls out a larger cube and beckons me to sit.

-I see how it is.

"Don't look at me like that; juveniles need fewer nutrients to survive than adults."

-Adults, huh? I wonder if I'll get to be one of those again.

I sit down and plop the cube I was holding onto the table. I stare at my Proctor, trying to see how exactly I'm supposed to eat this.

He pulls out a cup of what I assume to be water and pours it over the cube. The cube expands a little, but other than that, it seems just as inedible as it was prior. He shoves the cube into his mouth and begins to chew. If he were human, his jaw would have dislocated, but I guess our jaws are different.

-Well, when in Rome.

I don't have any water, so I just sort of shove the cube into my mouth. It soaks up the moisture in my mouth, but it is still incredibly dry. I do my best to chew, and the cube begins to crumble into dust.

I try to swallow the dust, but with no moisture in my mouth, it's rather difficult.

Fléissend looks over and sees me struggling.

"Here, drink this."

He hands me a glass of water, and I pour it into my mouth. The dust turns into a slurry, and I can finally swallow.

-If I starve to death after eating this, I will absolutely cause another explosion.

"Jeez, that's not a good look on your face. I know rations aren't great, but they have all the nutrients we need."

-Poison would be tastier.

I sit still for still for a moment, pondering if this is perhaps punishment from an angry god, but as soon as Fléissend finishes I hear a loud

*Beep*

"Combat test P2-01-2 initializing, Proctor-01 is to assist Proctor-00."

*Sigh*

"I can't leave you unsupervised, so you're coming with me. It wouldn't hurt for you to see one of your brothers in action."

He gets up and beckons for me to follow.

We walk through a series of winding hallways and end up passing through a white door.

-Its hexagonal shape looks familiar.

We arrive at a window, and looking down, I see what can only be described as carnage. There are orange stains everywhere, along with pieces of animals that I don't quite recognize.

In the middle of it all stands a figure coated in orange slime. He looks like me, but far larger and with more impressive muscles.

I look down at my arms and sigh before noticing -He's... eating one of the creatures.

"Isn't he wonderful?"

"It's a monster."

"We'll need monsters if we want to extract valuable resources from inhospitable natives."

"How were its cognitive tests?"

"He's still alive, which is more than I can say for your last test subject."

I can almost taste the tension in the air.

-Wait, what was that about a "last test subject?"

"I don't understand why the department head called you here; I was doing fine collecting the data on my own."

"Wait... aren't Zoomers toxic?"

-Zoomers, what a silly name for something that barely moves...

-I shouldn't even know what a Zoomer is; why do I know its behavior?

"He'll be fine; subject 01 has a 20% improved liver function."

Suddenly the beast fell to his knees and began to heave.

-Note to self: do not eat food from the floor.

"Shouldn't we stop the test? The creatures are dead; the only thing left for him to fight is his own reflection."

"Don't worry, the glass is reinforced with cordite; we'll be fine."

"That's not what I'm worried about."

Suddenly, the figure stands up and glares at the glass.

*AGHHHH*

He charges at the glass and begins slamming at it repeatedly.

"Code Gray, Code Gray!"

"Oh, hush, he'll tire himself out sooner or later."

The glass begins to crack, and I can't help but take a few steps back.

-I don't know what they've been feeding him, and I don't want to find out.

The glass continues to crack until eventually it shatters. I try to run, but my legs are still weak and I fall to the ground after a few steps.

I look up to see the creature pulling itself through the shattered window. I try to crawl away, but I am suddenly blinded by a flash of light.

I barely manage to roll out of the way before he falls into the ground.

"Fléissend, what have you done!"

Spit flies through the air as he screams, and while I would love to get up and defend my Proctor, I literally cannot get up at the moment.

"I terminated a test subject that breached containment. You should know full well that a Pirate that cannot be controlled is only a liability."

-Pirate?

-Wait... no no no this cannot be possible.

-Crazy medical experiments?

-Giant bug monsters?

-Hexagonal doors?!

-These Aliens... they're Space Pirates. This shouldn't be possible, Space Pirates are fictional!

"Proctor-01 is to report to the Head's office immediately. Subject P1-05 is to be returned to his habitat for further monitoring."