Reborn as an Ember

As I stared up at the snow falling from the sky, I couldn't help but think,

-It's cold.

Part of me wants to move, to get up and struggle to live, but I know that it's too late for that.

A snowflake lands on my eye and refuses to melt. It is soon followed by another and another, blocking out the sky.

I feel... empty. It was almost as if someone had hollowed me out and left just a shell behind. A shell slowly frosted over in the cold.

-I've lost track of the time; has it been minutes, hours, or days? Will this be the rest of my life? Will I spend an eternity unable to move, unable to speak, unable to feel?

The thought terrifies me.

-They say that those dying of hyperthermia feel warm before death, but all I feel is cold.

The white begins to fade to black, and my final thoughts play through my mind.

-If there's a next life, I pray that I'll never be cold again.

....

Like a switch, my mind returns to consciousness. Strangely enough, the pain and, more importantly, the cold are gone. I try to open my eyes, but I don't seem to have any.

-Am I dead?

I try to move—something, anything—but I don't seem to have flesh anymore. The only thing that I can feel is a warmth at the center of my soul. A warmth that is slowly beginning to fade.

All I can see is darkness, but as I gaze into the black, little motes of light begin to dance. Initially only one or two, hundreds soon began to float around my vision. At first, they're disorganized—complete and utter chaos—but as I focus, they begin to carve figures into the void.

Like the hand of an animator sketching out a drawing, lines and shapes begin to appear. However, just as soon as the shapes appear, they begin to fade. Almost as if a candle were extinguished, the shadows began to swallow everything.

The warmth that is at the center of my being is dying out.

-No, No! Not again! I can't go back to that. I can't go back to being cold. Someone, anyone, please help me!

Suddenly the warmth explodes outwards. Like the last flicker of a flame, the dying panic of a beast lashes out at the world. The warmth lashes out at the world, and I feel something responding. Something has been burned, and that something has made me stronger.

The lights return, more numerous and brighter than before. I'm finally able to make out my surroundings. Below me lies a pile of sorts, and at the very center of my vision lies a single, dying ember.

-That ember... is that me?

Suddenly one of the swirling lights slams into the ember. Then another and another. Whether it be by sheer coincidence or some sort of attraction, the particles begin to flow into me, and something begins to change. The ember begins to rock back and forth, faster and faster. Suddenly a crack appears in the surface of the ember, and I can feel something. Like an insect shedding its skin, pieces of the ember begin to flake off. Piece by piece, until a tiny, insignificant lizard emerges. I move my body, and for the first time in forever, something responds. I try to stretch out my legs, and the salamander begins to move.

-I'm barely the size of a blade of grass, but at least I can finally move.

The sensations are far duller than they were in my life, but being able to feel anything again makes me want to cry.

-Sadly, I don't think that I can cry. Whatever I am, I don't have tear glands.

I push myself off the ground and begin to clamber down the pile.

Or at least, I try to climb down. Instead, I slip on something slick and wet and begin to roll down the pile. As I land on the ground, completely splayed out, I get a clearer view of the pile.

-That looks... like faces? Oh, oh, oh, that's not good.

I try to flee the repulsive sight, but before I can take another step forward, I collapse. Suddenly, I see something climbing out of the pile. In my strange vision, it's glowing like a flashlight, but I can't seem to make out the shape. Like water seeping into sand, but in reverse, the glowing liquid pulls itself out of the pile. Slowly but surely, the fluid begins to congeal, pulling together more and more, until eventually I see the round shape of something that can only be described as slime.

-A slime? Do I know what that is? It shouldn't, but for some reason the sight is familiar to me.

The slime begins to roll down the pile of bodies, slowly coming towards me. I once again try to run, but as tiny as my body is, I barely make any distance. Slowly but surely, the slime is catching up to me.

-Come on, you stupid little legs, move faste-

Suddenly my vision is cut off. I try to fight my way out of the goop, but I can barely move as my flesh is being melted. I try to push and pull on the warmth at the center of my soul to try and agitate it. However, It refuses to respond.

-Is my fear not good enough?

-I try to channel my fear into rage. How dare this stupid slime swallow me? How dare my body be this weak and puny? HOW DARE I BE STUCK HERE!

The warmth begins to rise further and further, and with a flash I find myself laying on the ground covered in a sticky goop. In the center of the goop is a stone, shining bright enough to nearly blind me. The goo is slowly but surely gathering around the stone, and I fear that if I don't do something soon, it'll be too late.

I charge at the stone and bite down on it with all of my might. I can feel my pathetic teeth shatter, but I put more and more pressure on the stone as the goo begins to rise around me.

-Come on, you stupid stone, crack!

Suddenly my mouth slams shut, and I feel something warm flow down my throat.

The lights around me begin to fade and scatter, almost as if they were falling out of focus, and I fall to the ground.

...

"If you had to die, what kind of death would you prefer?"

I laugh and say, 'I'd rather not die at all."

He flicks my head and scolds me.

"Come on, this is serious!"

'Fine, I guess that I'd rather freeze to death.'

"Freeze to death?"

'I've heard that death by freezing is one of the more peaceful ways to die.'

"Well, I'd rather burn."

...

The world around me comes back into focus, and as I look at my tiny body, I see that it has grown. While before it was barely the size of a blade of grass, now it was at least the size of a fallen leaf.

-Heheheheh, a few more of those, and I'll be a big enough lizard to rule the world!

-Wait, a big lizard? I don't even want to be a lizard! This sucks.

The warmth at the center of my soul begins to stir, and I quickly try to calm myself.

-Okay. deep breaths. I'm not breathing for some reason, but still. I am fine with being a lizard.

-The hell I am!

My tiny body bursts into flame for a brief moment before dying out. I can't help but notice that the lights are fuzzier than they were.

-Oops.

-They say that the smaller the animal, the more often they need to eat. What do I even eat anyways?

I look over to the pile of bodies, and for a moment I consider it.

-NOPE

-There must be something else to eat; I'm not going to resort to anthropophagy this early.

I focus back on the pile for a moment.

-Although mayb- No.

I force myself to turn away from the pile and to search for food elsewhere. I can still 'see' the pile with my weird vision, but I'll just try to ignore that.

As I walk, I cannot help but notice that the pile I was born into is far from the only one. I can hardly walk 10 feet without running into one. Within each pile, I can see something glowing, sloshing around in the center. I do my best to keep my distance.

-I'd rather not get slimed again. That was... unpleasant.

As I walk, I try to tap into that power I used earlier. Clearly, it isn't cheap, but if I want to survive in this world, I need something.

-My teeth are pathetic, my body is pathetic, and my senses are practically nonexistent.

I'm essentially using my anger as a stick to whack the fire in my soul and get sparks to come out. I can get bursts of flame to burst out, but trying to get a sustained burn seems to be beyond me for now.

-Sigh. I'm sighing in my head because I don't seem to have vocal chords.

Eventually, as I push my way through the slick grass, I come upon a singular tree. I can't see the top, and as I focus on my paws, I can't help but notice that they're not made for climbing.

-Maybe I could use my fire to push me up like a rocket. Hehehehehe, that'd be fun.

Wild imagination aside, I had no real way of climbing the tree, nor did I have any real reason to.

-The tree is stupid anyway.

A small flame flashes and flickers out for a moment.

-Oh, come on, I wasn't even angry that time!

A bigger burst pops out, and I feel exhausted.

-Oh, that's not good. What happens when I run out of energy? Do I just die?

I try to force my emotions to remain calm, but being faced with the possibility of death doesn't really help. I remember the slimes hiding within the piles of bodies, and I mentally sigh.

-I guess I don't have much choice.

I force my tired body towards the nearest pile. The glowing fluid begins to flow towards the surface and pile into a ball-like shape.

-Can those things sense me?

I stand still and let the slime approach me. I'd approach it, but I have a feeling that I cannot beat the shit out of a slime. As the slime grows near, I begin to poke at my emotions.

-Come on, get angry. Think about all of the nonsense you've had to deal with.

-Wait a minute. If I'm dead, does that mean my brother gets my stuff? What if he threw it out? That bastard!

I burst into flame, and the slime began to shrink. I think it's evaporating, but my vision is already beginning to fade. I force myself to charge forward and grab the shining stone with my mouth. I chew, and this time I'm able to bite through the stone without breaking any teeth. A warmth flows down my throat, reinvigorating me. As the world around me begins to come back into focus, I cannot help but notice that my vision reaches further than it did.

-Alright, I just have to keep on doing that, and maybe, just maybe, I won't die.