EPISODE 55: Melancholy*

It is my tears that keep my soul alive in the furnace of this pain. They cannot extinguish what has been, yet only carry me forward until a time comes when that searing pain is distant enough to forget more than remember, and maybe one day erase itself from my brain.

So perhaps it may be an oddity to thank my tears and be proud to cry, yet if that's what saves me from becoming a monster, a person indifferent to suffering and sorrow, then crying is the smartest thing I can do.

My feet kisses the solemn soil, pounding with tarmac. My lungs burn and gasp for air while the rain drips to my skin, keeping my melancholy spirit intact.

I sync with the rain's mood even if I am not a pluviophile. Petrichor enters my nostrils, reminding me about my bloody doings.

While carrying a heavy fault behind my back I gush back to Viridian City. I may trip at times due to the soaked soil but I always managed to stand up.

"Luna what happened?!" Charlotte's tone shifts into a concerned and worried voice. I fall on her grasp, yearning for oxygen.

With her help, she brings me to the clinic. How ludicrous of me to forget about my asthmatic conditions.

The nurse takes my body and places it on a decent hospital-like bed. Charlotte waits outside the clinic with a look of distress and discomfort. Xavier was also there to see what happened.

Charlotte walks in circles while wondering about my condition. What seems to be minutes somewhat felt like hours. She couldn't wait but to check up on me. On the other hand, Xavier glimpsed through the window, watching the nurse and her process of assisting me.

Lunch period arrives, and the nurse allows me to step outside. She advises me to walk more often rather than dashing. She also said that I was lucky not to have a fever after that mad dash across the storm.

Still, even with a decent body, my mind couldn't forget the actions I've done. I exited the clinic with an unpleasant look on my face. Charlotte and Xavier dashed to me and queried about my sudden disappearance. I told them the truth, even if it was hefty.

"... I killed someone." I stutter. My eyes wanted to cry but I insisted them not to. It would be embarrassing for me to cry in the middle of a hall surrounded by passing grunts and officers.

"You did what?!" Xavier exclaims with a mixture of anger and shock.

"I'm nothing but a murderer, and I bet the police are already after me."

"Why would you do such a thing in the first place?! Can't you think before doing something?" Charlotte scolds.

"I don't know. The idea just popped right into my mind and decided to do it without hesitation. I'm scared, I don't want to end in prison." The first tear broke loose and the rest followed like a river. My fear is so immense, I even thought of suiciding.

"Something's not right. I've noticed that you've been acting strangely, I think we need to consult Giovanni about this." Xavier suggests. He tries to keep my fear away and calm my abrupt thoughts.

"I don't want anyone to know about this, please. Giovanni might kick me out of Team Rocket after hearing about my devilish actions."

"Luna, we have too. I already told you this before, no one should undergo these kinds of problems alone. I think you have a psychological problem. You may not know about it, but it is lurking there." Charlotte comforts. She wipes off my tears with her damp cloth but my tears persist to flow.

With a heavy heart, I accepted Charlotte's decision for I want to know what lurks deep inside my mind. Now, a lot of people fear me. I never wanted this to transpire for the only thing I ever wanted was a typical life.

What will my mother think of me? A daughter who has a reputation for becoming a murderer? What have I become, what did I do to deserve this?