An excellent plot. Three chapters in and I was hooked with the story, the vastness of your vocabulary is commendable, I had times when I needed my handy dictionary to grasp a word.
However, there are a few turning off points which incapacitates the readers from immersing in the story. First, is the background building, it is greatly lacking and that alone failed me to imbue myself within the story.
Second, is the character design, whilst most of the characters have excellent distinction and rendition. Some are rather forced, making a few scenes quite awkward.
That's about it. There were also things such as punctuations, cumbersome sentences and also a few grammar mistakes. But that could be easily fixed with an efficient proofreader, which is yourself.
Overall, this is a great read, really liked the pacing in this. although the chapters are too short, it is enjoyable.
Keep this up. Goodluck!
