I love the concept, and it could make for a funny story. At this point, it's hard to see what direction the writer wants to take. There is no comedy or action so far. There is some drama. Other violent events were mentioned, they are completely off-screen, so no one should have a problem with them. If you are the faint of heart, don't worry--there's nothing graphic so far. It looks like it's going into magic and cultivation, but very little of either thing has been mentioned. It looks like it's supposed to give a dark feeling, but it doesn't do that or make me want to cheer for the protagonist at all. The traumatic events are brushed over pretty quickly.
Background information? What's that? A little information has been revealed about the MC's parents, but it's provided in a manner of telling rather than showing. The details of past events are very vague, making them difficult to picture.
World background? Not revealed yet.
There is no character depth at all so far. The character details are essentially limited to male, female, mother, father, and mean person.
I don't think there's been any imagery at all thus far except for describing the MC's appearance. A greater use of imagery could evoke a more emotional response in readers. Although the MC is an eight-year-old who is 4'11," the height of a small *****, no explanation is given for this.
Although there are only six chapters so far, there are logical inconsistencies present already, especially in regards to character actions and the absent world setting.
The writer uses "sh!t" a lot as a substitution for other words, making it feel very overused. I'm not sure if there's been a chapter thus far without this curse word. The writing quality could use some review. The events in the story could be expanded upon with more detail and elaboration to pull readers into the story. Everything happens so fast, it leaves me wondering what the point of anything was.
Nearly every sentence has at least one obvious grammatical error or typo. Tenses flicker between past and present tense. There are also examples of passive tense, even in sentences important to the plot line. These types of errors are common to new writers. That said, the story is readable.
Overall, I'd say the concept is interesting, but the follow-through needs some work.
