My SI Stash #82 - P-orcing All the Girls: Greenskin by Marchenblanc (Worm)

-My bad guys, my step-mother got stuck inside a washing machine so I ended up getting horny for the rest of the night.

*SI to Worm as an Orc with questionable powers. Pretty much Kuroinu- Kedakaki Seijo wa Hakudaku ni Somaru type beat. [Big Fat NSFW warning]

Sypnosis: Take a decent person. Throw them into a situation, and a body, with powers that they'd never been meant to handle because of bad paperwork...then run with it all the way down. When you're a Hentai Orc that is seemingly obsessed with subverting nearly all the tropes that normally comes with what you are...it isn't like you can do much else, right?

Rated: M

Words: 119K

Posted on: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12953189/1/P-orcing-All-the-Girls-Greenskin-A-Worm-SI (Marchenblanc)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 1-2 (exceptional)

I hauled ass down the street, my fancy dress shoes beating the hell out of the sidewalk as the screeching of tires and the screams of true, feminine anger echoed in my ears.

"COME BACK~~~!"

I had no idea what I'd done to get her acting like this. I'd just met the girl a week ago, this tiny, cute Asian girl that had flagged me down at a Starbucks once. Just to ask me some questions as she waited for her coffee. Questions that had started to become a little personal...in a good way. We'd kind of just connected, after that.

Or at least that was what I had thought. Fuck me, right?

A truck, a barely in control eighteen-wheeler, just barely missed sideswiping me and took out a row of parking meters instead when I ducked into a Chinese place. A Chinese place that did not look happy about what had just happened outside, and what was still—Ah, shit.

"WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO KILL YOU!?"

I ducked around the counter with my jacket up in a weak attempt to hide by covering the side of my face, following everyone else out a side door while silently screaming about how she'd, somehow, found a car, another truck, and drove it right through the glass front of the shop. Not that it worked, seeing how she called out my name and, after seeing how close I was to leaving her in the dust... Her lips curled up into a sneer. Her eyes got even wider. She reversed that truck of hers, then drove back forward like she was on a Nascar parking lot and I was in her space.

That counter hadn't stood a chance. Neither had the wall behind it...or Usain Bolt's record.

I seriously had no idea what I had done to make her like this. I thought the date had been going well. Like, sure, I wasn't exactly all that up-to-date when it came to the dating scene, but I hadn't messed up that bad, had I? I'd met up with her at a nice place, something fancy, but not too fancy so that we could eat, just before we went to the movies. She picked. I paid. Hell, I even got a peck on the cheek for the wonderful date I'd brought her on.

Needless to say, I'd been flying high...up until the first truck had almost run over my foot, and the next had definitely taken out my date. The date that I had thought had just been shocked at the time... It had kind of gone all downhill from there, with her actually coming back from getting front-ended by a fully-loaded moving truck—I was seeing a pattern here—in a truck of her very own while foaming at the mouth and screeching obscenities.

I'd thought that 'Yandere' shit had just been a genre you saw in comics. Manga or whatever. A fetish for people who were into possibly getting their organs extracted while they slept in return for sex… Even if that was an exaggeration. I don't know. That wasn't my thing. Never would be my thing now, especially not after today.

"Oh, fuck!" I screamed after an upwards glance. A scream that caused everyone around to scatter with screams of their own. Just in time to evade the truck that had, somehow, found its way on top of a nearby building and had decided to make its way back down on the express route. Gravity-assisted. With her showing her teeth and cackling the whole way down while I hugged the wall and wheezed, completely out of screaming air. This was it. This was how I died.

Before she hit, I closed my eyes and looked away from my impending doom. Hopefully, it would be quick...and fuck! I never got to write my will! No one would know that they had to put my computer in a microwave!

Whoever got to use it next, most likely one of my sisters, was going to be in for a hell of a surprise.

The rush of air. A crash. The sound of breaking glass. Said glass pinging off of my slightly over large glasses and my winter coat without issues...then silence. Relative silence, other than the running of a badly treated junker of an engine. I opened my eyes with a shuddering breath.

I fear vomited in my mouth a little.

Climbing out through the shattered windshield of her slowly burning ride was my 'date'. She was bleeding from a head wound. Blood was pouring down her face while she used a giant sword, which I had no idea of where it might have come from, stabbed into solid cement so that she could lean on it. Her once nice dress was smoldering, and I could only watch in stunned horror as she straightened herself, her eyes never breaking contact with mine all the while.

Hate. So full of hate.

"Why. The fuck..." Melly, short for Melinda, snarled at me, venom positively dripping off of her tongue with each word. "Won't you die!?"

"Why won't I die?!" I replied incredulously. I couldn't help it. What kind of question was that?

I'd seen her get taken out by a speeding, multi-ton vehicle. She had, somehow, got a goddamn eighteen-wheeler on top of a Chinese restaurant. then made it do a belly flop off that same building. She had survived that. Both of those things, just before she'd capped it by crawling out of the burning wreckage of her last ride...and she had the sheer bloody cheek to ask why I wasn't dead?

Who the fuck did that sort of thing? Who… No. What the fuck had I been dating!?

"You just had to make this difficult, didn't you!? All year!" She screeched, then swung her sword at thin air making the slow sideways motion I'd been in the middle of slow to a stop. "I've been trying to kill you for a year!"

"I…" l licked my suddenly dry lips. Not that it helped much, seeing how my mouth was as good as Death Valley when it came to moisture at the moment. "What?"

"I've been trying to kill you for a year, you dumb shit!"

Now...now that was just hurtful. Uncalled for even.

"What did I ever do to you?!" I asked loudly, and slowly continued edging away from the crazy lady with the sword...and damn. A whole year? I hadn't noticed a thing. "Why would you want to kill me!?"

I was a decent guy! I paid my taxes! Called my elderly mother at least three times a week! I had a pet cat that I loved, and that loved me back! What was wrong with that?

"You won't die!"

"Well then!" I shot back, "that just clears everything up then, doesn't it!? You crazy, bug-fuck insane, buck-toothed—"

She screamed again and charged forward before I could tell her off something fierce.

Throwing myself to the side in reflex, I somehow avoided all of the glass and shrapnel covering the floor without even a scratch, even as everything went sort of...dream-like. As I scrambled for cover, I paid attention to things that weren't exactly all that important. Shock and panic doing their work, most likely. There was a shoe. Over there was a phone. Someone had left their purse behind.

I don't blame them...but it would all go towards a worthwhile goal. This I promised as I gathered the mess up in my arms.

"It was supposed to be an easy job! I arrange an accident! You die!" She easily batted the high-heel I'd just thrown at her out of the air. Then the phone. Shit! "You get reincarnated where you need to go and I get to take a vacation! BUT NO! You had to be difficult!" A beat. "Fuck!"

As she continued to rave, I snuck a peek out from behind the table I'd stuck myself behind and then started crawling for another spot of cover. She'd got her sword stuck in a wall. I might have started giggling hysterically, even before I jumped out of the window she'd driven through and started running down the street again and towards a nearby officer busily waving me over.

The screech that followed that was inhuman. The one that occurred when a red circle appeared in front of me, forcing me to come to a teetering stop while I tried to catch my balance was even worse.

I could feel liquid coming out of my ears. Vertigo. A lack of equilibrium due to my inner ear getting a beating...and I tipped forward into the swirling, red, and fucking obvious magical portal.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!"

I fell, and I began to pray as the last thing I saw on her face was horror.

"NO!"

My balance had never been the best…but the bird I flipped her before the portal closed behind me was in fine form.

And then, things went bad again.

When I didn't hit the ground within the first second I started to worry. When I didn't hit it within the next two, I started to panic. Then, after some flailing that led to me rolling over in mid-air, I saw that I was over a city and that I hadn't, suddenly, gained the ability to fly… Well. I didn't exactly react all that well, to say it lightly.

You could have heard my oddly deep death scream, one that I chalked up to fucking up my throat while running, from miles away. I splayed out. Caught as much air as my bulk could take...and started praying to whatever higher power that could hear me as I clenched my eyes shut.

Jesus, Buddha, Flying Spaghetti Monster, glorious leader Lenin! I didn't care, just someone, anyone, save me! I did not escape a year of really subtle truck related murder attempts, only to die from a fall at terminal velocity!

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" I opened my eyes again, the wind forcing tears from my eyes before, in what had to be the most confusing moment of my life, I looked into the eyes of a blonde. A really, really shocked blond, just before I fell by, then past her, clipping her on the way down in the worst way possible.

My eyes crossed. I stopped splaying out. I clutched myself with a whine and I let out a roar of discontent and manly defiance.

Right in the junk, just before my death...the sheer humiliation… It could make a man cry, it could... The purse that had just wrapped around the front of my face, the one I had taken from the Chinese place for ammunition, was just mean.

When I hit the truck coming up under me, crumpling the hood under me like a cheap bit of plastic and bringing in the dark...it was almost a relief.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"I just got cock slapped by the Jolly Green Giant." Vicky rubbed her cheek and grimaced as she found something moist and sticky on her skin. A something that she didn't think anything about for the sake of her own sanity while she wiped it off on her skirt, and observed the nearly ten-foot tall, muscle-bound beast that had, somehow, ended up pelvis deep in some poor guy's engine block. "That's nice."

The giant groaned. Shifted his hips…and the truck made one last sputtering noise, then gave up the ghost with a puff of smoke.

The crowd started taking pictures. That would, most likely, be a meme before the day was out.

Vicky didn't need to be a mechanic to know that thing was totaled. Neither did she have to be a doctor to know that he probably needed an ambulance… Which is why, even as she continued to rub her quickly warming, most likely bruising cheek—that shockwave had been tough enough to bring down her field for a good three seconds—she was hitting the first few numbers to call for the local PRT.

Really... What else could she do with a new C53? Bring him home?

Chapter 2

"Hello? Hello, sir?" I got the impression of someone over me, shining a light in my face. Through my eyelids, with a suspiciously green hue. "Can you hear me? Do you understand me?"

By the Premier's glorious mustache, please. Please put me out of my misery. I tried to crack open an eye only to regret it horribly. Yep. Concussion. Fun. There was something else. Me grunting. A response.

"As I said. Concussion. A bad one. He won't be up for the next few days." Soft. Female. Tired.

"Ah… I see." Strong. Male...kind of a douche. "Disappointing. You'll call me when he's cognizant?"

"It depends. His form… How he's built. I don't think he'll be a good fit for the—"

I started to lose clarity. Finished. Someone said something else. Probably important. Mostly likely important... But I wanted to sleep. Sleep good.

Wait. I had a concussion. Wasn't going to sleep with a concussion a bad—

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The next time I woke up and cracked open an eye...things were better. Not perfect. Not even close. But it was better. Less flaming razor wasps with chainsaws in my brain and more lethargic, normal bees. Still hurts like a motherfucker but, just to repeat, noticeably less.

Enough that I managed to keep my eyes open for long enough to see someone in white standing over me with a washcloth.

He? she? I didn't know, ran that cloth down my chest. Moist. Warm. Soft as I grabbed their hand, completely covering it in my own as their heads shot up and they looked into my, probably still a little unfocused, eyes with a blink of shock.

Light brown. Surprised, but dull. Not quite...there? That was something to say when you were the one with a concussion. Sad.

"Did anyone tell you…" I paused for breath. "That you need a hobby?" That sounded important...and then my head hit the pillow again, and I was out like a light.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I woke up, again, while I was being rolled over onto my side. Apparently, from the view the window afforded me, it was nighttime now. What could the doctors be doing? At night? With the lights off? With a smooth, latex—the brush of a hand against my butt cheek answered the question. Nothing good.

I knew where this was going.

I grunted a bit and tried to turn my head. My head made its opinion on that move known. The wasps were back. They had brought friends, and I was starting to black out again… So I just laid down and hoped they didn't stick anything up my ass. If they did though… I'd always wanted to win a lawsuit. It was on my bucket list and everything.

"What are you doing, Doc?" I managed to force myself to say.

I got no response. Just a loud buzz. A whine. The prickling feeling of a thousand needles biting into my left asscheek. I passed out again. Because fuck you, that's why.

I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of my reactions!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Finally. Finally, I was awake. Up and ready. Ready for life. Not asleep. Completely, mostly, maybe fine as I used my huge, green hands to change the channel on the tv in front of me to the news while a pretty, young nurse shyly waited on me and… Wait.

There was something wrong here. Obvious, in hindsight.

I nodded to myself, then changed the channel to Cartoon Network. Who watched the news while they were sick? Not me...and damn. I'm not sure where they'd hid this episode of 'Billy and Mandy' but I'm not complaining.

"Are you still hungry, darling?"

A hand on my arm tore me away from the screen for the moment, leading to me looking down on that same nurse fluttering her lashes at me...and man. Was it just me, or were all the girls I met like five feet tall at most?

"Just say the word and I'll get you whatever you want to eat." She bit her lower lip and took a deep breath. "Anything. Anything at all." After that, actually, sort of touching offer of food, she let go of my arm and took a step back with a smile. "Hell, if you want," She played with the collar of her scrubs while I looked on with interest. "I'll let you have me… If you just stay still for a moment and let me get comforta—"

"I must warn you, Miss Militia. This particular...individual...isn't the most eloquent. If you had waited a while, maybe called ahead first, I could have told you. We could have set something up."

Miss Militia? Why did that sound familiar? TV?

The nurse adjusted her collar with a pout and took another step back just before the door opened and let two new, people, in. My own, personal, doctor. The one with the bad combover, a not too subtle habit of casual racism, and a liking for barely legal interns and cheap liquor… Don't know how I know that stuff about him, but I do... And he'd come with a woman as well. A woman with a red, white and blue bandana over her mouth, while the rest of her was covered in olive, well-fit BDUs.

"That's fine, Dr. Gale." Her eyes crinkled up in a smile...and now, I didn't need to see what was under that bandana of her's to know that she was pretty. It was just obvious...and she was so authentic. "As long as he can understand me…?"

"He can." Gale nodded, and I used the time where there were no eyes on me but MM's wisely. I flipped Gale off. With both hands. Subtle, I was not...and I could see that I'd got the point across when her eyes crinkled up even further. "He is still a little confused, due to the concussion he has, but he seems to understand simple, short instructions well enough..."

He'd called me a mindless animal in hearing range once. I knew what he was saying now. What he meant. Seriously, fuck Gale. I was pretty sure he was a Nazi and this hospital was ass.

"In other words, he is cognizant." Gale finished that part of his explanation. "Although, there are some abnormalities that we must—"

"I understand." Miss Militia (that was a strange name) nodded firmly. "But, please. Allow us some privacy, Doctor." She then turned to the nurse. "Also, that's a nice fit. Very close."

My nurse started to sweat as she gave MM a weak smile.

"A bit too close for hospital regulations I think." She stepped to the side. "You should get something new. Think about it."

The nurse nodded, then left like the hounds of hell were after her.

Gale left after her with a sheen of sweat on his forehead. The door closed...and the eye crinkles normalized. I lamented the loss of what could have been with my nurse, just before I said my first words...the first that I could remember so far anyway.

"The good doctor is an asshole." I nodded. "And I'm not sure, but I think using hospital medical supplies like he does is illegal. Maybe. I'm not a doctor...but injecting me in the middle of the night with enough stuff to make me black out, without my consent, sounds kind of skeevy, and I want to know if those are grounds for a malpractice suit. Besides that though..." I nodded again. "Sup?"

She continued to smile at me. Just long enough that I started to feel uncomfortable before she sighed. "I'd hoped that Panacea (What? Who?) might have fixed that issue of yours before our conversation." Her tone turned dry. "She's busy with other, more critical, patients at the moment."

I frowned and she waved a hand at me, looking for calm. I wasn't really sure why though. The context here was missing.

"Cancer patients. Traumatic amputations. Bullet wounds," MM explained. "Nothing you did, I assure you. It's just that your problems, if any, aren't life-threatening."

"I guess?" I grumbled, not really meaning it. From what I could tell, I still had all of my bits. I could move my toes, and things were going well enough...also, still no context. "Who's Panacea though?"

"I'm sorry, but…" She paused again and took a step towards me to give my hand a pat. "I can't understand you. No one can."

I gave her a look.

She stood firm.

How could she not understand me? She was speaking English, right? I was speaking English too. This should be easy.

"Your vocal cords are unable to create the sounds necessary to forming most languages...and you're speaking something completely different from anything anyone has ever heard of." She stroked my arm, the crinkles around her eyes gone to be replaced with pity. "I'm sorry."

My jaw went slack. I...couldn't talk? That was...I could hear myself! I was speaking English, damn it!

"It's not exactly uncommon for those like you, Case 53s, I mean." She kept patting my arm, even when my jaw clicked back together and my hands turned into fists. "To have some form of impediment. Or change. Whether it be their looks, their minds...or something else." She sighed. "But that's fine." She left my side, leaving me alone in the cold. Tiny hands or not, she had been deliciously warm. "There are programs to help those like you. Groups. We can get around this."

I picked up the remote and turned off the tv. Serious time now. Serious face activated.

She quickly backed up, then cleared her throat as her hand twitched towards her side.

… Less serious face activated. I didn't need to get tased today. Still. I was feeling pretty manly right now!

"One of these groups, the one of those that I am currently representing, is known as the PRT. A charter objective of theirs is to provide oversight, guidance, assistance to new parahumans that might feel a little 'lost' or 'confused' about their places in the world."

Her stance loosened slightly. Relaxed as something that she was used to talking about, something that she believed in and felt safe talking about was brought up… I couldn't help but admit that I found it attractive, weirdly enough...and something was starting to niggle at me, right in the back of my head.

The PRT, huh? It sounded okay but at the same time, it was kinda...off? Shaky? Not right. Yeah. Sure. I'd go with that.

"And, of course, in its affiliate organization, the Protectorate, you'll be able to find others like you. People who can understand what you are going through, and give you the support you need to get yourself back on your feet." She nodded quickly. Her breasts bounced lightly in her top. Her hipsswayed lightly.

An erection started rising and, like the gentleman I was, I stuck a pillow over it. Close one. Phew.

"The memory loss is something that we are still working on fixing," She admitted, seemingly unaware of the struggle I was in the middle of to keep myself decent. I'd had some seriously strong ragers in my time (I think) but I was actually fighting to keep it together here. "But, something like your issues with communication can be managed through translators or through the use of text-to-speech devices." She shrugged, her eyes crinkling again even as her breasts bounced again. "You never quite know what our Tinkers will think up."

That crinkle was quick to disappear in favor of her brow furrowing when the sound of slowly tearing fabric began to sound. Then, there was only terror as my pillow, the greatest defender of decency man had ever known, was torn in twain. Stuffing flew. Half of the casing hit her in the abdomen, while the other half found itself in the ceiling fan...and things got awkward.

Hospitals, especially crappy ones like the one I had found myself in, didn't exactly lend itself to carrying underwear in my size… So I was just kinda showing it all right now. The full monty...and, if I thought I had been embarrassed… MM's bandanna did nothing, absolutely nothing at all, to hide the fact that her mouth had fallen open to its fullest extension. Neither did it hide the sound of her gasp or the instinctive reach behind her back before we locked eyes.

Awkwardly.

The clock ticked. I lost count after five because that was about when her chest began to heave and her nipples started to tent her shirt… Someone had to say something because this was getting weird as fuck.

"This sort of thing doesn't normally happen to me." I whispered and, now that I was actually bothering to pay attention to myself, it sounded like I'd been gargling gravel and nails since I was a child… It was kind of cool, actually. "I swear."

MM shuddered. Her eyes flickered...and then spun around on her heel like it was a dime to walk out the door. Without saying goodbye even!

"... Rude." I muttered to myself as I flopped back down on my bed. And regretted that. I had just ripped my pillow. With my dick… Is this what they call, 'being blessed with suck'? It must have been.

You gotta deal with the cards life hands you, I guess.

I sighed and sat upright then, after reaching around for a bit, I managed to find the remote again. Thankfully I hadn't sat on it, seeing how I was pretty sure that my fat, green ass would have crushed it. I flipped through the channels. I was disappointed.

Daytime television was the same no matter what dimension you were in. Boring and trashy. Rosalita! I love you, mi amor! Urghh.

I flipped through all the channels, all two-hundred plus of them, several times. Seen that episode of Spongebob. Ugh. Johnny Test. How the hell did that show get six seasons? Eventually, I stopped on the news channel again after giving up.. Might as well learn something about current events, seeing how the Network had failed me.

"Cornell Bomber still on the loose, huh?" I repeated the CNN headline out loud. "Lung should be picking her up soon, the dumb bastard... Couldn't happen to a nicer guy though..." I trailed off. I blinked. I thought about what I just said. What I'd been thinking.

Green ass? Dimension? Cornell? Lung? What the hell was I—oh no.

I stopped seeing. I stopped breathing. The remote dropped from my numb fingers. My heart stopped and my stomach dropped. Then, just to add a cherry on the top of the whole mess, I started to hyperventilate.

I glanced down at my hands. They… These weren't my hands. This wasn't my body! This wasn't me! I was a fucking Orc! I was a fucking Orc in Worm! A fucking Orc, in Worm, without health insurance!

Fucking concussions! I should have just let Melinda kill me! I couldn't afford any of this!

The door opened again, this time letting in an actual nurse. An older one. One that pulled a Militia and just kind of started staring at my junk without even a hint of shame. Then another. And another... And then they all started reaching for my dick. At the same time.

… This was going places.

"I think we need a semen sample." Nurse one breathed.

"And we can't wait for even a second longer." Nurse two added.

"This is for your health." Nurse three licked her lips and snapped on a long, rubber glove. "So...just relax."

Nope.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Hannah's eyes were closed. Her face pressed up against her arm, which was pressed up against the wall outside of the room she'd just left... With an arm around her middle to hold back the ache.

"Good going, Hannah." She mouthed to herself. "Just leave like that. Don't say anything. Don't assure him. Don't say goodbye. Just leave." She sighed. "Damn my memory...and...and thank god I didn't do what I'd thought about doing."

This wasn't the first time she'd cursed her memory. It wouldn't be the last either... But she'd never done it for a reason like this. She never would be able to get that magnificent sight out of her head for the rest of her life.

Strong. Virile. Perfectly sculptured masculinity, created just for the sake of filling her up like she was a water balloo—

She gave herself a crack across the face with the flat of her palm and ignored the orderly that was now giving her funny looks. None of that. No thinking about that. Suppress. Repress. 'Forget'.

She took in a deep breath and exhaled with what sounded almost like a sob.

Okay. Alright. She was feeling better now. She...she just had to go back in there, apologize, and continue her explanation. That's all. Easy. She owed him that much at the very least...and she was here for a reason. He'd fallen out of orbit, from what Armsmaster could tell, and was still alive. A Brute rating like that, harsh as it may sound, would be quite the help...and the local Protectorate needed all the help it could get.

He couldn't help his reactions...and they could...talk about this, about what she was feeling, later.

That was the plan she had had in mind anyway. A plan that she was forced to throw out the window before it was even completely born at the first roar. She immediately went from an embarrassed and debilitatingly horny woman—she could admit it—to a battle-hardened soldier in mere fractions of a second after the sound of breaking glass.

She had already barreled through the door, then through the crowd of nurses that had, somehow, slipped by her with a SAW in her hands before he disappeared out of the broken window completely, allowing her to see his bald head before he sank out of sight. Then, when she ran to that window to see where he was going she caught sight of him in an instant… Which is where she froze.

Her eyes tracked him still, of course. Just not in a way that the PRT handbook would have recommended... At all… Damn. Just...damn.

"Well. At least we know where his tattoo is," She muttered to herself, her face hot as she watched his naked backside vanish into the distance. "I need a shower…" Something dawned on her as she turned around. "And M/S containment...maybe."

"He's got an ass on him." One of the nurses whispered in agreement.

The interest he got from her, and from the nurses, was just unnatural.