Chapter three Love isn't Just a Feeling

Many of you see this priceless gift called love as just a feeling. Well, I won't say you're wrong neither will i judge your point of view, I'm just here to share mine with you not imposing.

As I previously defined in my own words, "love is sacrifice". Now our days, we here of so many heartbreaks and bitterness and this has made people to doubt love and many have lose hope. Some say; "I'll be single rather than giving my heart again to love, others say love doesn't exist"

To be honest, I have felt that; I have gone through betrayal, deception, heartbreaks and I also came up to that conclusion. But at the end of the day, I realized I'm only hurting and depriving myself from enjoying the joy and sweetness of love. I realized I will be the biggest loser and miss out this sweet feeling that comes with love; I realized not all men are the same when I finally met my "prince charming".

I know there are many out there who have gone through worst when it comes to love. But as Jay Shetty once said and i quote: "love didn't hurt you, someone who doesn't know how to love did". When you understand this, then you'll open your heart and give love another chance.

The genesis of our problems and complications when it comes to relationship is that we see love as a "feeling". Love is more than just a feeling, in fact, it isn't a feeling. I know many will say_ "but what the hell is she talking about?" I will tell you_

Most of our relationship are temporal because of this notion. Well, how do you expect a feeling to last?

My dear readers, that stuff called "feelings" COMES and GOES; it isn't even stable. So tell me, why won't a lady or guy get tired and bored of seeing one face everyday? Why won't they go out there and see a different and attractive figure and develop new feelings for them in the name of falling in love? What do you expect from a feeling? It is temporal and when it "falls" it either breaks instantly or later. When love is considered as a feeling, its true value is never felt; it eventually breaks living your hearts in several pieces.

When you understand love is sacrifice in that; pleasing others, making each other happy and complete, then you can talk of commitment. For when you love and you are committed, trust me that love will last for a life time. You guys won't get tired of each other, the love will grow each day and everyday will feel like the day you guys met.

This can be done when you understand the pinnacle and ingredients of love that spice it into a sweet meal and makes it as valuable as an opal. When you love, you develop an understanding and caring heart. Love last not only when its true meaning is known but also when there is UNDERSTANDING, TRUST, LOYALTY AND PATIENCE.

Each and every one of us has flaws and ugly sides but let's be like a hobey bee that focuses on the beautiful flower and its nectar no mater where the flower is_ We can find beautiful flowers amidst garbages but why focus on the garbage that will bring us nothing but stress and frustration leading to illness? Why not focus on the beautiful flower and nectar inside it, while dealing with the bad side or flaws that happens to be the garbage? Without of course hurting the feelings of your partner. No human is perfect, None! True love is not a fantasy, it truly exists but hard to find.

In every relationship, there are misunderstandings and problems, but you can make that relationship more than a fairy tale by understanding your partner and making up each time you fight. When you understand someone, you get to know how to deal with their weakness and you avoid unnecessary fights.

SHORT STORY

Let me share with you a great story of how a lady missed true love because she viewed and knew love as a feeling.

This girl Kendra was a beautiful and single lady who has always wanted to experience true love so one day, as she was browsing the internet she came across a post which caused her to drop a comment. A young, single and good looking guy called Ferdinand liked her comment and they began chatting.

Day after day, they enjoyed their company. Slowly, they began loving each other but none of them confessed it out. Since they both lived in different towns and have been chatting for over three months, Ferdi decided to pay Kendra a visit so they could get to know each other in person. They both leaped in excitement when they saw each other and spent the whole day together. From time to time, they saw each other and went on friendly dates.

On their fourth meeting, Ferdi confessed his love to Kendra and they both began dating. Oh..... this couple were a 'Romeo and Juliet' in terms of love. When you talk of true love, talk about Kendra and Ferdi. They both understood, loved and cared for each other. Dating for five months was as like they knew each other all their lives.

One day, something happened to this almost perfect love story; Kendra had this mindset that love was a feeling, so she got bored and tired of Ferdi. She wanted to do what others who shared her mindset about love did_ she wanted a change of air and an adventure; so, she began seeing another guy while still dating Ferdi.

When Ferdi discovered she was slowly drifting away; when he discovered the lady he loved so much was cheating on him, oh he felt bad because he trusted and loved her but not even once did he judge her action. Instead, he tried winning her over; he tried getting back the love of his life but each time he tried, she drifted even more and this break Ferdi's heart but still he loved his lady so much. He tried and tried and finally, he gave Kendra the space she wanted but never for once gave up on her.

Days passed, weeks passed, a month went by with this love birds apart. After two months, Kendra one day realized how much she misses Ferdinand and every moment they had. She gave up on her adventure life but was too ashamed and scared of calling or even texting Ferdi. She thought he had moved on whereas the young man had been patiently waiting for his lady and still loved her so much. Kendra will type messages to Ferdi but will delete them all because of fear and guilt. Missing him so much and breaking with guilt without even trying to reach to him. A year later, Ferdi got tired of waiting and moved on.

Because of the way Kendra saw love, she missed true love and stayed with the regret all her life.

(End of Story)

View love in a different way rather than a feeling and you will enjoy it and even more; when you build up its foundation with trust, understanding, loyalty, patience and perseverance.

I for one, when i feel like tired and about to give up on love, when the test is too much and I feel like I am the only one fighting for my relationship but still my lover neglects my efforts and is tired of the ups and downs, I remember my motivational scripture which not only apply in marital relationship, but also loving everyone you come across to in life and hold on. I hold on on our love and memories we shared because I still want more of them and enjoy love. Below is the scripture_

1CORINTHIAN 13:1-13

SAYS_ "Though I speak with tongues of men and angels and have not love, I am becoming as sounding brass or clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophesy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains and have not love, I am NOTHING. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned and have not love, it profits me nothing, *LOVE SUFFERS LONG and is KIND, LOVE ENVIES NOT, LOVE VAUNTS NOT ITSELF, IS NOT PUFFED UP, DOES NOT BEHAVE ITSELF RUDELY, SEEKS NOT HER OWN, IS NOT EASILY PROVOKED, KEEPS NO RECORD OF EVIL, REJOICES NOT IN INIQUITY, BUT REJOICES IN THE TRUTH, BEARS ALL THINGS, BELIEVES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL THINGS, LOVE NEVER FAILS* but whether there be prophecies they shall fail, whether there be Tongues they shall cease, whether there be knowledge it shall vanish. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child i spoked like a child, I understood as a child, i thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now i know in part; but then shall i know even as also I am known. And now abides faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of it is LOVE".

That's my motivation, try it out if you judge it right.

-THE END-