Admission

The Base Commander gave me a few days before she called me in for a game of Drantanara. We did actually play, just it wasn't the focus. The fact that she played with the other captive Dranta couldn't completely hide my change in attitude but it helped. We were all under suspicion.

But maybe not surprisingly, there were those coming around to the view that the Blacks might not be that bad to live under. Not Arbriana's group. Nothing would move them. I wondered if she had seen a Bright One personally. That might explain her stubbornness but I was more inclined to believe she had lost someone. We all had. I'd been the cause of at least some of the losses.

Those coming to that realisation didn't know what to do about it. They gravitated to me. I don't know how they knew I was sympathetic. They felt guilt. They felt torn. I understood. They might only be recruits but they knew what they had been doing. My faction grew. The other sub factions were merging into mine, leaving Arbriana's isolated.

They wouldn't budge and they held her as something akin to a goddess. It was because of what had happened with the Gryna, Ulissa she'd been training. The other woman had been executed. The Blacks hadn't been subtle about it.

As always, there had been no grandstanding. The Blacks had simply done the job but it had been all over the barracks that they executed Ulissa for something Arbriana had been doing. That had put Arbriana back in control, and apparently there was no one else she trusted to take her place.

She knew it was dangerous for her group to idolise her that much. She knew the Blacks were controlling the situation but she couldn't just not lead them. She used their devotion but they were becoming more and more isolated.

I'd appointed two or three others I thought were the most level headed. They were to keep morale up in the event the Blacks decided I knew too much. I didn't think they'd be needed but you always made arrangements.

The faction numbers did fluctuate a bit. There were differences in beliefs. Early on, there had been those who didn't know where they stood. Their opinions were solidifying and the undecideds' numbers dwindled. Those who remained in Arbriana's group were tough and dedicated. They knew the lines the Blacks had set. They were careful to never step over them.

I knew they would. Eventually. The Blacks knew they would. The instant there was something that made the step worth it.

I was thankful Qaoloe was a backwater planet. There was unlikely to be anything that pushed them to that step but time. I had to assume the Blacks already knew that. They'd been dealing with prisoners for generations.

It was that which made me truly realise the Blacks weren't what the Alliance insisted. That made sense. It was easier to fight those who were so different. There were fewer questions and no moral considerations.

That was an uncomfortable thought. The Alliance didn't have prisoners of war. The Blacks never let themselves be captured. I'd always believed it was because they were slaved to machines. I knew that wasn't why, but I didn't pretend to know all their reasons. Still, it made me wonder, what was the Alliance doing that was so dreadful that had caused them to need such measures?

I didn't know. Major Iael had never said what would happen to the captive. The most she'd said was that they would be used to spearhead a new response. From the way the W'ymic Officer had spoken, they were going to develop a biological attack.

I knew from the galactic map we were still shown it didn't appear that anything had been made or released. The Blacks were still gaining territory. But how long did it take to develop these things? Could you develop from one sample? No, it wasn't one sample. There were Humans in the Alliance Territory. They were controlled via their collars. Why were there Humans in Alliance territory? How did they get there?

The Base Commander had been amused when I asked. "When the Humans got FTL, they made it public knowledge. I don't think it was meant to be. I think the buying nation had notions of gaining dominance over the others but I'm told the plans were out in less than an hour. There were those who had their own ships. They were hauling goods between the Human colonies. Those who could, converted.

"They left Sol before the Bright One's attacked. Some ended up in Alliance territory. They were subdued. The Humans in the Alliance are their descendants. They know no other life." She had shaken her head sadly. It was odd that she felt sad for these Humans she would never know.

"You know from Pickering that they resent being controlled."

I nodded. Pickering was bitter. She had been polite but that was the memory I had.

"The Commonwealth occasionally gets a surprise with that history. They broadcast the Battle of Sol. Those who hadn't gone into Alliance territory got those transmissions. Some knew that their fellows were victorious and returned. Others had hidden at the first sign of battle. They never accepted the follow up transmissions or they thought them lies.

"So every now and then, we meet a colony of descendants. Not as many as you'd think. A lot died. The ships that left didn't have the needed resources or biodiversity to sustain a colony. But if you think our worlds are armoured, they've got nothing on those colonies." The Base Commander chuckled. "Those Humans are armed for war and willing to die. Then they find that the Commonwealth is Human. They get invited to join as a member colony.

"I think only two have said no. There's still good trade with them and the borders are stable. There's no need for the Commonwealth to fight them."

I was surprised. It painted a nice picture. I wondered if the Alliance could hold borders without the Bright Ones. I honestly wasn't sure. Even with our shared history, I wasn't sure the Alliance's species would be able to live together.

Her explanation meant I couldn't delay. I didn't want to discuss this. Ignorance was best but it would lend credence to my warning. That was required. "You know I wasn't a trainee?"

"We do," the Commander seemed surprised by the turn in conversation.

"And you know I wasn't a trainer," I added. It was a pathetic attempt to stall.

"We captured the records intact."

I couldn't think about that now. "Then you know what mission I was involved in."

"Yes," the Commander said it sharply. I could hear the hiss of air between her teeth.

"I don't know for sure what they were going to do with the Human."

"Him. His name was Lieutenant Lennon."

That made me feel worse. I nodded but focused on continuing. "I don't know what happened. I know they would have questioned him but the W'ymic Major implied they were going to develop a weapon."

"We are aware of those plans," the Commander said. "Not specifically," she waved one hand to indicate the generality of Black knowledge. "Biological warfare has always been a risk."

I was dismissed with that. There wasn't anything else I could say. The Human's name brought up memories I didn't want to consider. I was a different Dranta now and I had done my duty.

I couldn't do it now. I knew that. I'd changed too much. But I hadn't yet changed enough.

The next day, I, and those who were sympathetic were assigned different tasks. They were more complex. They were more interesting. I'd gotten used to the monotony of each day. The only time I had to really think was with the Commander. That wasn't true. I was thinking all the time, considering her words, considering what Pickering had told me. I was comparing the reality of the Alliance with the reality of the Blacks. It was why I was accepting.

Arbriana's group noticed the changed work. They also noticed it never rotated to them. I didn't have to explain why. She knew. It made her anger sharper. Her group acted out more. The Blacks simply adjusted. They were used to this. I thought they had to be. I tried to point that out to Arbriana. I never even got close. None of my emissaries did. The W'ymic woman didn't want to hear. None of her faction did.

This wasn't about the war any more. This was about her wellbeing. We couldn't even get that message through, not even when we signalled at night. I could do nothing but put her from my mind.

Except I couldn't. Maybe it was because I knew there was another way. I had to try again. Call it the last part of my Alliance training telling me I had to help the Alliance. I would do what I could.

I went the direct route. I pushed through those who made sure they were separate at meal times and sat with her. She glared. They glared. I ignored it.

"You can't remain unchanging," I said when it became obvious no one was going to speak. The entire mess was silent. Even the Blacks were watching.

"You gave an oath to the Alliance," she hissed. The word traitor, in every Alliance language was implied with her tone.

I looked at the food. It wasn't much but it was safe and contained sufficient calories. We were not mistreated. "I did," I admitted. Everyone knew I'd seen active duty. "And I lost my entire team for that oath," I added. I hadn't thought about them in a while. Quanna, Tiro, Fannar, Wibowo. They'd died to complete the mission. A mission I now regretted.

"You don't even honour their deaths," she added.

I glared. There was anger in my expression. She saw it. I think she was pleased. "This is not about them," I growled. I knew that their memory would be disappointed with what I now believed. I had to hope, that if they had gone through what I have, they would come to the same conclusions. I chose to trust that. "This is about you." I made a small gesture, making sure her group knew I was speaking to them all.

"Have the Blacks done anything we were assured they would?" I asked. It was one of the questions I'd been forced to face. There was only one small part of the answer holding me back now. I think it was because that, Arbriana was even speaking to me. She could see that I wasn't totally convinced. She knew better than to attempt conversion.

"You know they haven't. We were told we'd be slaved to machines. Forced to fight on their front lines. None of that has happened. We are prisoners, but we have sufficient to eat, we are not worked beyond our means, and our basic requirements are covered." It didn't seem much. I knew how much that meant. I hoped I could get through.

"This is slavery!" Arbriana objected.

"This is work," I replied. I wasn't as serene as I should have been. I'm not that composed.

"They still kill us."

"If we attack." The Blacks exercised extreme defence. "If we attempt to escape."

"They kill us."

"They are still at war." I realised my mistake a moment too late. They are at war, not we. I wasn't completely on the Black side, but I was no longer on the Alliances'.

Arbriana picked it up. Her group did as well. I wasn't going to be able to bluff my way through this.

"You reveal yourself." She didn't shout. She didn't have to shout. I think everyone heard.

"We are no longer in a position to fight," I replied simply. It wasn't so much an attempt at justification but rather I was pointing out the truth. She had seen the galactic map. She knew the Blacks were gaining more than they lost.

"You've made sure of that." She glared. There was an intensity in her gaze but I didn't drop my eyes. She did the movement W'ymic could.

"I told you, I've seen your betters do that," I reminded her.

"Watch your back, Traitor," she hissed. The word sent a ripple through the barracks. "Your days are numbered."

She pushed away her food and rose. Her barrack rose with her and they left. The Black guards took them to their assigned work.

I sat alone at the table. I was thankful none of my faction sought to offer false comfort. They knew what had happened. They knew we were now two groups. I was grateful mine was the largest. Not because of pride or ambition, but because it would mean more could be saved.

There was only one thing holding me back and the sooner I dealt with it, the better. I just didn't know how. It was a truth I couldn't reconcile.

The Destroyer. They seemed at odds with the Black's other behaviour. Intellectually, I knew there would be more hatred for those who started the war but it seemed to extreme.

There was only one way to get the information I needed.