Living So Hopeless

Andrea Point of View

"Oh, why do you keep on watching? Move, don't be stupid, will you?" Auntie Julie shouted. I bow down and went straight to the kitchen to get her snacks and went back to where she was seated. I put her snacks on the table in front of her.

"Next time, you need to double your actions, understood?" I nodded as a response not attempting to utter some words. I was used to it, her demeanour when I was around. I have no choice but to be obedient.

I went back to the kitchen and continue what I was doing.

I understand why Auntie Julie where the anger came from because I was an illegitimate child of my dad. My mom was the executive secretary of my dad before and they have an affair knowing that my dad was married to Auntie Julie with one child named Frida. Their affair bears fruit and that's me. My mom died when I was three years old and I have nowhere to go so my dad decided to get my custody. At first, Auntie Julie didn't allow it because according to her, I was a thorn in her eyes. I became the reason why their family almost split up and she doesn't want to remember the remnants of the past that I was the product of sinful desires but eventually, she agreed that I'll be living with them under one roof.

My dad and Frida, my older sister treated me nice. Frida don't treat me as an outcast or a worthless human being. I didn't feel that I was only a sore or a useless mere step-sister to her but she treated me as her sister.

Only Auntie Julie hated me. But I'm still thankful to let me live with them. I wonder when will be the time that she will accept me wholeheartedly?

I was about to finish cooking when dad and Frida arrived. Auntie Julie was still in the living room watching and I heard dad and Frida greeted her. I saw them went to their room.

I begin setting the table, ready for dinner. After that, I called them one by one to eat.

"You have great cooking skills, Andrea," Frida commented as she gave me a two thumbs up as well as dad. I smiled genuinely knowing that they love it. I looked at Auntie hoping that somehow that the food alleviate her anger at me. I did my best in everything I do that I'm not a useless child and fruit of mistakes. But my hope vanished when I saw her grinned as if she's mocking me.

I sighed.

I know dad notice the heavy atmosphere between me and Auntie so he diverted the topic asking how's the preparation for the wedding.

"It's okay dad, all things went well according to plan," she answered and that made Auntie lively.

Frida and I have almost 8 years gap so it was expected that she's working and getting married while I, still in senior high school.

I didn't barge into their conversation since I know in the first place Auntie Julie will fuel her anger and I don't know about marriage planning. I decided to eat silently.

After dinner, I cleaned the dining table and washed dishes. Frida volunteered to help me but Auntie came into the picture telling me to let me do the chores. I looked at how she's glaring at me, that I did something bad and not pleasing.

They went immediately to their room leaving me alone in the kitchen. I just shrugged and continued with what I'm doing.

"Are you okay?" he paused. I knew it was dad. "Just understand your Auntie. There was just a little bit of a problem with the company earlier that's why maybe grumpy."

He sounds concerned and serious. Well, dad was like that. He was apologizing for Auntie's attitude towards me.

"Don't worry dad. I'm fine. Safe and sound," I said trying to lighten my mood for him not to worry.

I understand dad but what I didn't understand why he was always tolerating Auntie.

"After that, you may now sleep. You still have class tomorrow," he said and excused himself and went to his study room.

I immediately finished washing dishes and went to my room.

I tiredly laid myself down on the bed and hugged my pillow while staring at the ceiling. I'm blessed that I have my room so I'm free with all my actions, not every gesture are calculated.

There's an escaped small bead of tears at the corner of my eye. I immediately wiped it with my right hand and trying to console myself from sobbing.

I just can't imagine. I don't quite understand why I was accused of a sin I didn't commit. It's not my fault anyway why I was born into this world just because something went wrong. I didn't wish for it. Moreover, it is also annoying to hear hurtful words. I accept that I do not deserve to live. I'm a bastard but please, don't put up with that I was formed because of a mistake. I already know.

My eyelids gradually got heavier and I just woke up the next day because of the alarm I set.

I prepared myself to go to school and went downstairs. I saw Auntie preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Auntie," I greeted her. No matter how rude she was to me, I still respect her. She didn't respond to my greeting and just gave a cold stare. I smiled as if nothing and helped her set up the dining table.

One of the traditions of the family is we need to eat together unless when we need to go first.

After a few minutes, dad and Frida went downstairs wearing corporate attire ready to go to company. We greeted each other while Auntie Julie remained silent. We all ate together.

After doing my task after breakfast, I immediately went outside ready to go to school.

"Andrea, I will drop you by at your school," Frida said but I refused to know that Auntie will get furious. "Mom won't see it."

In the end, I got into her car. It just became quick to get me to school.

"Thank you," as I closed the car door.

I walked in the hallway going to my classroom alone. I roamed my eyes and I can see students doing their own business.

My eyes saw my best friend laughing with our classmates at the kiosk. I don't know what their topic is but it looks wholesome. I was supposed to approach where they were when someone suddenly pulled my arm and pushed me so I backed away a bit. I flinched. I composed myself before I lifted my head to have more access to who is she.

Lila Santiago from HUMSS strand.

"The thickness of your face was irritating, an eyesore. Imagine what beauty you have," she laughed bitterly. "What the tree is, so is its fruit. In short, like mother, like daughter. Plague of society. Snatcher. You don't have an itch on your body and you took my boyfriend. Oh, come on! Wake up! They're just betting on you."

I don't know what to say because I can't recall that I have someone else boyfriend. I'm not desperate enough to have a boyfriend. I don't want to be like my mom.

"You don't utter something because it was true all along, right?" she pulled my hair and biting in pain. I seem to lose all my hair in extreme pain. I don't want to fight because the last time I fought for myself got worse.

And now we're causing a scene in the hallway.

I flinched in pain so I do not know what to do. I'm just hoping that someone will come to the rescue.

"You deserve this kind of treatment. Know your place," she said as she loosened her grip on my hair.

"But I didn't know what you're talking about," I stammered. I tried to be brave enough that despite what insult she threw, I still have the guts to respond.

"So you have the power to respond? Shame on you," she was about to slap me but someone butted in. It was my best friend, Amber. She held Lila's arm and forced her to slap it to her face that made Lila winced.

"What the" Lila didn't continue what she was about to say when Amber suddenly put bread in her mouth. The one she's holding.

"Eat first. You may be grumpy this early because you are hungry. Okay?" she chuckled. I can't help but chuckle as well.

She removed the bread from his mouth as if embarrassed.

"You also have time with me Cruz especially you Madrigal" she threatened as she pointed her finger at us and walked out.

"Her face," Amber commented while rolling her eyes. I smiled. I don't what will happen if Amber was not on the rescue. "What's her problem?"

"I don't know. She said that I took his boyfriend, " I innocently said.

"What? For real?" she paused trying to analyse what I said. "Her boyfriend must be Ken Fugado."

I shrugged and I fixed my hair. "Don't worry. You have me in your back. By the way, are you okay?" I didn't respond to her question. What is the use of saying I'm not okay?

"Let's go!" I invited.

"Wait, we're going to report her in the guidance," Amber said resolutely. The only response I did was to nod.