Living Media

"I can't, I just can't." Victoria says as she has a blindfold over her beautiful green eyes with a red plastic cup of bacon grease in her hand.

"Come on, drink up." Vanessa demands 

Victoria brings the plastic red cup up to her nose so she can smell it and what she smells is God awful.

"It smells vile. I don't want to."

"You have to, it was a dare." 

"Ok, ok." Victoria says as she pulls the cup down to her lips so she can take a sip of its contents but she hesitates just as she is about to because she hears the television in the background.

"In a landslide victory Labour wins the election! For the first time in eighteen years the Labour party wins! Yes! Enjoy Tony enjoy. I mean Prime Minister Blair." The news announcer cheers in excitement

The laugh track plays after the announcer says this.

Victoria who is looking for any way out of this ridiculous dare says

"Oh, see I gotta watch this I voted for the opposition." 

"Oh, ok then," Vanessa says until the realization hits her that Victoria doesn't know anything about politics 

"Wait a minute which party did you vote for?" She asks

"The opposition." Victoria answers

"Which is?" Vanessa asks

"Labour spelled without the u in it?" Victoria answers but she says it like it was a question.

"It most certainly is not. Get back here and drink it." Vanessa demands

"Alright, alright." Victoria says as she finally concedes to her friend.

Victoria picks up the plastic cup and quickly downs the entire cup in one take just as her other friend Reginald was walking into the kitchen from outside.

"Sorry I'm late gals, the bobby caught me speeding through a traffic light." Reginald says

Victoria who couldn't stomach the bacon grease any longer vomits all on Reginald throwing light brownish fluid all onto his clothes.

The laugh track plays again.

"Charles Dickens give me strength." Reginald says 

The laugh track plays one final time and then the credits roll.

"I swear they've replayed this episode over a thousand times and I will never get used to Victoria puking bacon grease on me." Reginald says

"Well I never get used to puking bacon grease all over you." Victoria responds

"Come on Reginald I'll take you to the cleaners as usual." Vanessa offers

"Ok," Reginald complies

"You want to come Vicki?" Vanessa asks

"No, I'll just drive home." Victoria says

"Ok" Vanessa replies as they leave out the door.

Victoria grabs her car keys off the counter right before she walks through Vanessa's living room and turns the knob on the telly to turn it off. She then stumbles out to her car in Vanessa's driveway, she hops into her car which is a red Volkswagen Corrado as she gets in she turned the ignition key. The radio comes on and says

"The entire UK is reeling after this blow out of an election." 

Victoria turns the radio off saying

"Enough of you." 

She pulls out of Vanessa's driveway and begins the drive home through the streets of London. Clearly depressed she slowly drives home to the other side of town. She pulls into her driveway and gets out of the car sulking. She then runs into her room and shuts the door before throwing her keys in anger.

She jumps into her bed and began crying.

After an hour or two her mom comes in to check on her

"Again, Victoria." She says

Victoria crying replies

"Yes mum, I'm tired of this stupid show. I'm tired of reliving old episodes, I'm tired of the cloudiness of London and I'm tired of being seventeen for the past eight years."

"Honey, you should be happy not everyones got a show named after them."

"The show's name is a pun. Victoria's England. The producer who came up with that name was so hilarious. Not."

Victoria replies

"Well what do you want?" Her mother asks

"Something I can never get. New adventures and an escape from London."

"Ah, honey London's not your cup of tea." Her mum says

"No more British jokes." Victoria pleads as she begins sobbing even more. 

Victoria's mum closes the door. Victoria then closed her eyes to fall asleep but before she drifts off she says

"I wish I wasn't trapped in this miserable sitcom." She then falls asleep.

A few hours later she wakes up but something is different. Instead of the wall in her room which is a usual white color she sees this shiny white metal wall. Startled by this, Victoria looks up to see a crowd of mysterious people and unusual lifeforms standing there with weapons aimed at her in a SWAT team like fashion. 

"She's awake." One of the guys whispers

"Identify yourself!" A young man with Olive colored skin says over the loudspeaker.

Victoria slowly gets up and says

"I'm Victoria Langley and where am I?" She asks afraid for her life

"You're on board the Starship Dibits. Where are you from?" The man over the loudspeaker asks as he tries to calm a tense situation.

"I'm from London, England and wait a second, Starship. There's no starships in 1997."

"And there's no London in the Stellar Odyssey universe." 

"Stellar Odyssey, this. This is a whole different universe."

"Excuse me, where are you from?" 

"Victoria's England. It's a British sitcom from the 1990s. Happy to meet you Mister?"

"It's actually Captain, Captain Anton Jeffers."

"Oh, that's wonderful I can go on adventures in a Starship" she says as she happily inches closer. Prompting one of the people aiming at her to say

"Move and we'll shoot."

"Heidi." Captain Jeffers says

"Oh by the way this is my First Mate Commander Heidi Jukil." Jeffers says as he points to an olive colored lady with her hair in a bun.

"Hi Heidi! I'm Victo-" Victoria is interrupted by Heidi when she says

"I've been here the entire time I've heard everything."

"Wonderful, It's gonna be so much fun working on a star-" she says as she walks forward prompting Heidi to shoot her with her laser.

Jeffers looks in horror and asks

"Why?"

Heidi then says

"What it was on stun." She checks the laser to make sure of it and see that she was correct.

"Yeah, it was on stun, don't worry Anton I wasn't going to hurt a hair on her ditzy blonde head." Heidi says