Chapter Five: A Reborn from Ashes.

"So I was directing and acting my own love story alone?" For love, I have invested 5 years of my youth but sadly got to know I had just made a huge loss on it. OR how many 5 years have I left from my youth with this body that has become what I can't even recognize? I am sure my dad if alive will find it hard to recognize me." she laughed out crazily as tears poured like rain from her eyes.

Was I wrong to love him? Was I wrong to place him and his family first in all I do? Was it wrong to love him more than I love myself, even more than my daughter? Kath, you are really a big fool. If you took second in a fool competition, no one will take second. she lamented mockingly.

"What do I do now? Continue to endure and work on him to capture his heart or be selfish for once and cut off any entanglement? But if I leave this place where do I go? she murmured in a daze as she walked into her small room.

She was so last in thought that she didn't know when her daughter came in and sat by her side. at about a quarter of an hour, her eyes focused on an angle in the room and she saw a small book in the corner of the room.

she stood up and walked towards the book as if there was something there that is beckoning to her. She picked it up and saw that it was a Holy bible that was given to her by Pastor Nath on Sunday for her to study while she seek the face of God for direction on what to do next.

Then she opened the book and she saw the word that reaffirm and change her life forever. She tremblingly read it out loud in tears the first verse her eyes saw as if afraid of hallucinating. Could this be true? she thought as she read it aloud again the word. *"Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."

By the time she read it the sixth time, she was already on her knees with her eyes shining and a smile that has never been on her face since her father died blossomed on her face. she hurriedly close the book and open it again to affirm if truly God was talking about her. The aura around her changed fiercely like a phoenix born from the ashes as she laid her eyes on the verse that was before her **"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

She screamed madly "Yessss, He is with me. I am free to do what I love to do." As she was still rejoicing for the word of the lord, then came the verse that forcefully merged her broken heart with pure love *** "... Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." she murmured softly this time around and kept reiterating over and again.

"Yes, this is it. His love is eternal. I am beloved of God, He has found me and I have seen the light." Joy flooded her heart and she exuded a confidence and boldness she never thought she had. She paced in the room with the bible in her hand as she murmured joyfully lost in her own world with her eyes that shone ferociously bright.

The current Kath was truly reborn. After pacing for about 30 mins, she walked tiredly but happily towards the bed to lie down still not seeing her daughter, and slept off.

Then she dreamt... She saw herself in a cafe, checking her college exam result.

"Are you saying this is my result? I truly pass the college exam. It's a lie, please check again, Are you sure the name is Feng Yuan?"

(Her name is Feng Yuan but fondly called Kathryn because she was born the day her dad got the biggest investment of his life and Kathryn happened to be the name of the investor. Therefore, her dad called her that with the hope for her to be successful in life.)

I can't possibly be the third in the district like you said."

"Yes, it's the name, the school is Grace High School. Or is your school, not Grace High School? the young man replied with eyes that says, "Are you blind or deaf?"

She ran with the water on the table to wash her face outside and walked eagerly inside to check again and saw 720 marks, which is in the third position with her name. She immediately started crying in the dream, she held the guy's hands and started hoping around not minding the guy's frowning face.

"So, I really bet right. This first step in my walk to greatness was placed in the right path." she laughed out loud.

God, we won the first battle." she opened her eyes and tried to adjust to the light in the room with her blurred and confused eyes, wondering where she was until she saw her daughter by her side sleeping, then, she knew she just dreamt. Remembering the dream, she knew she has gotten the answer to her next step. she knew right away what her decision was...

She stood up gently in order not to wake her daughter and walked eagerly towards Pastor Nath's house.

NT:

* Deuteronomy 31vs6

** Isaiah 41 vs 10

*** Jeremiah 31vs 3