Prologue

"You little-! Why are you always like this?"

"That's what I should be saying! Just what makes you so unhappy that you keep lecturing me? Is that your plan? Do you want me to notice you, you tsundere? If you like me, just come out and say it!"

After hearing me say that as I laid on the couch, Darkness's eyebrow rose even higher.

"Who'd like a weak virgin hikikomori like you who always spouting nonsense fighting words!? I'll teach you a lesson!"

"S-Stop it! I'm carefully polishing the precious ring Iris left with me! What will you do if it goes missing in the struggle? Didn't you say this thing's important?"

As Darkness grabbed my collar, I shoved the ring in her face.

"I'm angry because it's important! Don't wipe the national treasure Princess Iris keeps on her at all times with your dirty handkerchief!"

"H-How mean!! Even I'll feel hurt after hearing that!! This might be a cheap handkerchief, but I'm taking care of this ring filled with Iris's feelings in my own way."

"I'm not talking about the price of the handkerchief; don't you use it to wipe your snot all the time? Buy a new polishing cloth!!"

The shouting Darkness finally let me go, and sunk into the couch with a tired expression.

"Really, being with you is so tiring. I've finally returned to this town, but I don't feel rested at all."

"That's my line. You always stir up trouble but seriously lecture me from time to time. You barely reach the bottom of aristocracy, but you're still a noble lady, right? Showing an air of a fine lady wouldn't be bad for you."

"B-Bottom of the aristocracy? You call house Dustiness, known as 'the favored sword of the kingdom,' the bottom of the aristocracy…? … You're probably the only one in the world who'd say such a thing."

"Hey, if you want to compliment me, make it easier to understand."

"I'm not complimenting you."

Darkness leaned back on the couch and sipped the tea that was placed on the side table.

"… You were always like this. When I revealed my family background, you were more interested in my name than my social status… what a weird guy."

"What's with you, Lalatina? I don't want to be called weird by a person like you. An unworldly noble lady, an adventurer, and a masochist. Just how many character traits do you want to hog, you greedy woman?"

Darkness put the tea she was drinking back onto the table.

"… Seems like I'll have to settle things with you one day."

"All right, all right, let's have a match one day, young lady."

I nonchalantly brushed off the vexed Darkness and drank some tea too.

"Hmm, this tastes good. You're useless, but you do make some good tea."

Darkness's mood turned better when she heard me.

"Fufu, you said the dishes I cooked are average, but I'm quite confident in my tea. The key to brewing delicious tea is to warm the cup first and to pour it in until the very last drop. If you apologize for your crude remarks from earlier, I wouldn't mind brewing another for you."

"I get it, I get it, sorry for teasing you. It's not much of an apology, but if you fall out of grace with nobility, I'll hire you as a maid."

"Falling out of grace is impossible! … Really, you're a strange man. I thought you were a weakling, but you sometimes act really courageously. You'll help others, but you'll go play around at night and do disagreeable things. Which one's the real you?"

"What do you mean by 'real'? Everyone will do good things when they're in a good mood, and urinate in public when they get angry. I'm just a normal person. Sorry for not being a rigid hero."

"No, that's fine. Or rather, instead of princes and heroes, I prefer an ordinary guy… For example, someone like you."

"Hey, what do you mean? What was that? First Megumin, now you too? Why must the two of you tell me such vague things? Say it properly so a virgin like me can understand."

Darkness smiled after listening to what I said.

"Why don't you make a guess?"

She said, and started drinking her tea in a good mood.