Chapter 4

I focused intently on the conversation inside the room.

Not knowing how much longer this undying dream would persist, I knew it was about the Northern Duke, Sion Belpast.

His last image haunted me.

Medea responded with a tone both lofty and assertive.

"I was genuinely impressed by how you used the Northern Knights to eradicate the barbarians in the south of the empire. Ah, this is politics. Without shedding a single drop of blood, father, you protected our people purely with strategy."

"Politics requires foresight and patience. Belpast had no choice but to comply with my demands because he was outmatched by Laheart in every aspect."

"The Emperor's support brings me unspeakable joy."

Medea's voice was elated.

After losing his son, the Emperor, afflicted with a heart's ailment, began to find solace in Laheart's words.

Around the time Sion Belpast was accused of treason, the Emperor wouldn't listen to any noble but Duke Laheart.

As an assassin, I heard rumors that the Northern Duke's descent to the south wasn't just due to Laheart's schemes. Probably, the Emperor himself had a hand in it.

The order to suppress the southern barbarians fell to Laheart, but he coaxed the Emperor to request reinforcements from the North. Naturally, the North refused.

The journey from the far north to the south of the empire, a month even on horseback, would have been better served by the central army aiding the south.

Laheart then allowed the barbarians to slaughter numerous southern people and blamed the Northern Duke.

Sion Belpast, acting solely for the people, must have set out for the distant south. Such was his nature.

But Laheart painted Belpast as the perpetrator. Portraying himself, the powerful Southern Duke, as the victim. Only the Emperor believed this tale.

The Emperor seemed to see Sion Belpast as the aggressor and Kramnel Laheart as the victim.

"Compassion, is it?"

"Interest, indeed."

The dying Duke's response to my question, chained up.

Interest.

That one word felt bitterly warm and heartbreakingly poignant.

He didn't hate the disfigured dog of his enemy, the White Butterfly who drove his men to death. Not until the end.

He pitied me. The reason was unknown, but I could feel it in his gaze.

Rain began to fall.

"This time, we'll cut off all of Belpast's limbs."

Duke Laheart's words were met with Medea's agreement, adding:

"Father, the Emperor has invited me to the next tea party."

"Oh! Medea, he's increasingly fond of you."

"Yes, it seems so. I think I'll do my best as a granddaughter, filling the void in His Majesty's heart."

"It won't be easy. He still can't let go of his missing granddaughter."

Granddaughter.

A pang in my heart.

Suddenly, a cold, dignified voice filled the room.

"The foolish man doesn't know that his own bloodline has become my servant," Medea declared, referring to the Emperor.

"The thrill I feel every time that girl looks at me affectionately, father."

"Be ready to kill her at any moment."

"I don't like it, it's fun. I'm a noble of a different class, possessing the only bloodline of the royal family. It's through that child I learned being royal blood doesn't equate to intelligence. Fools, they need to be subdued with power. I will prove that it's not lineage but capability that qualifies one to rule."

"Ha-ha, Medea. If only you were the son and Kahen the daughter."

Duke Laheart left with a hearty laugh.

After her father's departure, Medea pulled the bell rope to summon a maid.

"Is the guest waiting?"

"As you ordered."

Hearing Medea leave, I exhaled a long breath and gazed at the stormy night sky. Cold raindrops tapped on the mask and my twisted cheek.

If only I had known what I know now before I died.

A crushing regret tore my heart to shreds.

Oh, God.

Why am I wandering in this dream when I'm clearly dead? Is this your final act of kindness to let me know the unknown truth?

After shaking off the rainwater, I re-entered Medea's room and took out the jewel box containing my mother's dagger.

Even in this dream, I didn't want to leave my mother's belongings near Medea.

My trembling hands grasped the blue handle of the sword, my mother's relic that I couldn't touch even in my dying moment.

But then.

Holding the handle, I saw inexplicable scenes. It felt like being sucked into some real event.

A woman with long green hair and sky-blue eyes, holding a young child, about four years old, was fleeing. A group of armed men chased after her.

In the deep coniferous forest.

The fleeing woman eventually fell. The awakened child began to cry. The woman took out the dagger with a blue handle from her bosom.

She clasped the blade. Blood from her palm started to drench the sword.

She closed her eyes and murmured something, her demeanor almost prayer-like.

"Sacred light, merciful mother. I offer my life, please protect this child. If this child faces death, grant my life to return 'once more' to the living. Allow a second life, Hella."

Transparent light enveloped the dagger and the child, connecting them.

"Is this her?!"

"Yes, the heretic saintess."

A soldier following stomped on her back. Soon, a young Kramnel Laheart stepped forward. His sword pierced the saintess, my mother.

My mother quietly reached out and caressed my cheek. Pure white cheeks, sky-blue eyes. My face was unmarred then.

"My baby, Estelle. Mother will always be with you..."

Her hand touching my cheek fell lifelessly. The memory shown by the sword ended.

I quietly removed the mask covering half of my face. The unmarred half I had to hide since I was five. This was my real face.

Tears flowed ceaselessly.

Ah, this wasn't a dream. Nor was it a dead person's lingering resentment.

I had returned to the time right after Sion Belpast, the Northern Duke, defeated the southern barbarians. I had regressed to the winter of my 19th year.

"This was reality. The real reality."

This was reality.

The second life my mother sacrificed her life for.

I collapsed on the spot.

It didn't take long to accept the truth.

Dully chewing over my breaths, I carefully retraced everything that had happened from the day of my death to now.

Then, a thought crossed my mind.

Why now?

Why did the god my mother called upon regress me to this time?

What is your intention?

I put my mother's dagger back into its original jewel box. Until I realize why I've returned to this time, there's no need to deliberately create something different from my previous life.

Leaving Medea's bedroom, I walked through the desolate Rahel Forest.

What can I do in this life?

Revenge against Medea and the Southern Duke's family. Revealing my identity as the Emperor's true granddaughter, thereby returning to my rightful status as a princess.

To separate Rahel from the Emperor and prevent him from plunging the Empire into ruin?

Thoughts trailed one after another, but they were constantly interrupted by thoughts of someone.

In this life, my task: to save Duke Sion Belpast of the North.

My stride halted.

Why? Why must I save Sion Belpast?

There was one answer.

He was right.

Despite the Southern Duke's misdeeds and the Emperor's misguided judgments, Belpast always did what he believed was right, not what was beneficial for him.

His judgments were correct.

Compared to Duke Sion Belpast, I…

As an assassin, I killed innocent lives just because they were my master's enemies.

A nineteen-year-old prospective assassin of the Duke's family, a monster with a distorted half-face.

Could I reach the Emperor? Would anyone listen to me? Could I even escape Medea's surveillance?

It won't be easy. Perhaps even impossible.

But if I could save Duke Sion Belpast… if our first meeting could be a true connection, not a hostile one.

Couldn't the future change?

Why have I returned to 'now'?

The day after tomorrow, the Northern Duke will come to the Southern Duke's residence.

I finally realized why I returned to this time.

To prevent the assassination of Arkadia Nugent, Belpast's right-hand man, and thus avert all the tragedies of my previous life.

Maybe it's not an epiphany but my choice.

'I choose this as my first destiny in this life.'

Looking up at the sky, I spoke to the god who revived me, to my mother.

I want to live a different life than before.

Not as the dirty assassin, the White Butterfly, but as my true self before meeting Rahel.

'But what is my true self?'

The next day, I went to the training ground. There, two assassin trainees were fighting.

One was the freckled boy with straw-colored hair who had come to fetch me from the mansion's basement yesterday. The other was the eternal second-place boy, the Red Caterpillar, whom I had defeated until the end in my previous life.

They didn't know that among us ten or so, only I would survive.

"North Duke is so shameless. Asking for a victory ceremony after such losses in the south? As if the blood of the commoners means nothing."

The eternal second-place spoke. The freckled boy, probably from the North, retorted.

"If you don't know, shut up! You don't even know how far it is from the North to the Southern border!"

They fiercely clashed even in the real duel. Excluded from the duel due to yesterday's punishment, I watched them fight.

Surprisingly, the freckled boy, once always third, defeated the second-place.

As soon as the victor was decided, the Black Caterpillar, or the freckled boy, was taken away by the Black Beetle.

I sensed why. He would be ordered to assassinate Arkadia. In my previous life, I was the duel's winner, and hence, Black Beetle had given me that order.

I waited for the freckled caterpillar who must have received his mission. Seeing me standing at the deserted forest path, he flinched.

"Why are you so startled?"

"Startled? I thought no one was here, but then I heard something."

"Huh, it was just me moving."

His face was slightly red. Perhaps because the orders he received were meant to be kept secret.

Regardless, Duke Sion Belpast of the North, victorious at the Southern border, will visit here tomorrow.

He will stay here for three days. During that time, I must protect Arkadia and establish a new relationship with Sion Belpast.

Slowly, I removed the half mask covering my face and looked at the freckled caterpillar. He seemed shocked, unable to take his eyes off me, or more precisely, off the unscarred half of my face.

"Freckled caterpillar, whatever your orders are, think carefully. If you don't want to end up like me."

He looked panicked. Apparently, revealing my face, partly as a threat, partly to instill fear, worked.

"What, what orders?"

"Whatever they are."

I turned away from him. Then, he called out to me.

"Are you going to the Duke of the North's victory ceremony tomorrow?"

"We're not allowed outside the castle. Don't you know?"

"I know. But…"

He trailed off, then mustered some courage to speak.

"I heard it's going to be a pathetic victory ceremony. A maid who serves food was talking about it. I don't want that."

The freckled caterpillar left before I could reply.

He dislikes a pathetic ceremony? Now that I think about it, he did take the North's side when fighting the eternal second.

I already know what will happen at tomorrow's procession.

In my previous life, Rahel planned a 'Silent Victory Ceremony,' where the people who came to see the Duke of the North were intimidated into not uttering any welcome or cheers. And then…

Rahel hung massive bags of silver bellflowers in the celebratory fireworks. The flowers symbolizing the North were crushed to dust and fell to the ground, forcing the Northern Knights to trample on their own symbol.

A humiliating event that lingered in the gossips' mouths for a long time, the so-called 'Return of Humiliation.'

I didn't want to welcome the Duke of the North, whom I met again in this life, in such a manner.

Where did they get all those silver bellflowers?

I recall hearing they were hidden within the Rahel Forest.

I wasn't sure, but I had heard rumors of a hidden cluster of silver bellflowers within the forest.

I wandered aimlessly through the forest.

What was I trying to confirm?

Eventually, I reached the farthest part I had never seen before and found a vast field of silver bellflowers, hidden behind a massive barrier. However, most of the flowers were gone.

'Again this time?'

That night.

I climbed the highest tower in the castle where the fireworks were prepared. Following the long fuse, I found massive amounts of gunpowder and bags of silver bellflowers connected to it.

As I suspected.

Rahel's pettiness made me laugh. Unlike my previous life, the Duke of the North had formally requested this victory ceremony.

Even with the Emperor backing him, the most powerful man couldn't do this. Especially when the Northern Duke's family has an incomparable lineage and history.

"Bella. I hope your soul can come out of the darkness."

Your words, echoing in my heart, made me close my eyes.

What did my soul look like to you, Duke Belpast?

Can you help me find my true self?

I climbed up and down the tower several times, removing all the bags of silver bellflowers. I then connected the bags of jasmine I had picked all day to the gunpowder.

The red jasmine loved by Medea.

A flower symbolizing Rahel, blooming everywhere in the Rahel Forest. There was enough to turn several Lenas in front of the castle into a flower path.

Sion Belpast, this is my first gift of atonement to you.

I hope that in this life, I can reach you as my true self.

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This novel has been translated up to chapter 66.

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