In Danmachi with a Template system

I'll just give my own fanfic a 5 star review since i am the Author (still lacking in experience is writing hope you guys understand) have nice day

The idea of an MC with Natsu's power in Danmachi is good but the Author seriously need more experience..The writing quality is bad, the interactions are shallow l, the charaters are not protrayed properly and the plot and progress are forced and doesn't seem natural.. I advice the Author to not get down because of my low rating and try to improve...It is not the worse fanfic in this app and is quite intresting.. I recommend you try it if you have nothing else to read...It was not a waste of time for me but I don't have great time either.. Overall=3.2 stars

The short: It’s good. Readable with a MC who might be a bit OP, but that’s not too bad, really. The only downside is the rather mechanical way characters talk; it’s not that noticeable, but their conversations feel a bit off. The long: Translation Quality- 4/5 - Its honestly not bad. The sentence structure isn’t that repetitive, and the author is varying his words enough to make it enjoyable. However, there are times where the POV switches from 1st person to 3rd person randomly. In addition, there are some minor mistakes that, while they don’t distract from the story, can be annoying to those who harp on that sort of thing. Updating Stability- 5/5 - full marks. Author seems to have a schedule and sticks to it. Nice. Story Development - 4/5 - The story isn’t too deep yet, but there seems to be quite a bit of factors at play. The main problem I have is that there just seemed to be so much stuff given to the MC without him working for it. That’s just a minor pet peeve of mine, so you don’t need to pay much attention to it. However, the story is shaping nicely, and the pace set is seemingly well done. Character Design - 3/5 - They’re flat. They have their own backstories and motivations, which is good, but that’s only surface level. Every conversation just feels like the same person talking to each other. The MC is supposedly 5 to other people, but they get over the fact that he does crazy things rather quickly. I understand that sometimes the plot just needs to move forwards, so I won’t gripe too much. Still, the author tries to make the characters believable, and the actions they do take are somewhat understandable. World Background - 2/5 - Sadly, nothing new or interesting so far. There’s the same isekai from a benevolent higher being trope, but that’s just cookie cutter at this point, so it’s not too bad. The main problem I have is that there are so many things to explore inside Orario as an orphan MC, but instead he immediately ditches the city. Mainly due to the handouts from the system, but again, maybe the author just wants to get the plot moving and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s nice that the author is experimenting with the setting, but it’s nothing too interesting.

the idea is good. the thing that ruined this is how the template system isnt just a template system. those extra rewards that the system is giving can be gotten from newer templates so it's pointless

Bad. Just bad. Dialogues are boring, chinese stuff is as dumb as always (Heavenly technics, constant brother/sister bullshit), imbalance template with Imbalance weapon at the beginning is not surprising. Please, read something not as atrocious as plain cultivation fics and then write.

This fanfic is okay but that's about it. It does have some good ideas like the template system but there are some pretty debateable choices in there such as Natsu, who as far as I know, is really, really strong like with his current 25% merge he shouldn't have a problem taking on almost all adventurers. The interactions feel forced and like its not people talking but 2 machines. The constant interactions with the Asteria Familia feel forced too all the way from their meeting to ch14 and when they as him to come to the hostess he knows Freya might be there so he refuses but instantly folds when they ask him again putting his life at risk without even joining a Familia. This fanfic could be really fun to read as there aren't enough danmachi fanfics but it needs work.

Not that enjoyable if you actually want something coherent and not just character gets stronger, is all so humble, but incredibly idiotic and just way too reactive. Nothing unique just a story you can read when you don't have anything better to do like watch paint dry.

Grammar need some work, like, a LOT , story is ok but the grammar ruin it

Don't know about the updating stability, but the idea of having a template system in Danmachi is a first. [img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp]

[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

I do not know the update stability so let's be nice and put it 5 stars still this novel as a lot of potential because it look exactly as my own fantasy that i often think about, like the template principal and a specific world of your chosing for a reincarnation (PS: for my part the world of my choosing is the Konosuba one 😆😆)

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

Danmachi = 😴😪😪😪 [img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp]

good