Let’s Get To the Point

After a momentary pause, Charlie nodded to have her goat imps pull over to the nearest parking lot and allowed both Cael and Angel to hop inside the limo. Cael allowed the demon porn star to go in first as he went towards the front part of the limo whilst the undercover archangel took up most of the middle on the account of his wings.

Once all settled in, the limo started to take off again for the hotel. For a while, no one said anything as it felt awkward and depressing on the account of Charlie's fiasco at the news station. The silence was soon interrupted by the sound of a car window opening and closing. The sound came from Angel Dust as the spidery ass-hat was messing with one of the windows, apparently being bored out of his skull. After a few moments, he sees them looking at him and pauses. "What?"

"What? What?! What were you doing?!,"asked a frustrated Vaggie as she nearly tore out a bit of her hair.

"I owed my girl buddy a solid," said Angel. "Isn't that a 'redeeming quality'? Like with friends and stuff?"

"Not with turf wars that result in territorial genocide!"

"Eh, you win some you lose a few hundred." Angel chuckled. "It wasn't that bad anyway." He continued to play with the window until 'thunk'! A knife was thrown at the button making him stop. Both he and Cael blinked in surprise seeing that it was thrown by Vaggie with the same furrowing scowl on her face. "Oh c'mon! I had to too! My creditability was on the line! I mean what kind of reputation would I have if people found out I was trying to go clean?"

"Probably something better than what you're use to?" Cael suggested.

"Yeah, but it just throws out my entire persona." It made the archangel a wee bit uncomfortable when he saw the porn star 'adjust' himself.

"Your credibility? What about the hotels'?" Vaggie said. "Your little stunt made us look like a fucking joke!"

"As if it wasn't enough for everyone in Hell." muttered Cael.

"Oh no-no babe, jokes are funny." Angel said. "I made you look…sad. And pathetic. Like an orphan…with no arms, or legs. Oh! With progeria! Great! Now I'm bummed thinking about it! This thing have any liquor?" As the spider creep was talking, Cael noticed how Charlie was cringing by what he said. Apparently, she seemed to be the kind of person that wasn't use to this kind of talk.

"Can you at least try to take this seriously?"

"Fine. I'll try." Angel complied as he readjusted himself into his seat. He had been acting like a bored kid with A.D.D. just moving around in his seat looking for liquor. "Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby."

"Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?" Vaggie struck Cael as the kind of girl that needs to unwind a bit, or at least have a release.

"Whatever pisses you off more. Is there seriously no liquor in here?"

With that, the one-eyed moth demon sat down in her seat disgruntled with her arms folded. "I'm gonna kill him."

"Would you like to kill him now or wait till you get home?" Cael asked being a wise ass.

"Too late, toots," said the spider whore who then continued being a smart-alec in saying "Wait! Would that make me double dead? And where exactly do I go, to double Hell?" He lets off a cackle before finishing with "Sorry, you're stuck with me, bitch. Get use to it."

Both Cael and the demon princess could see Vaggie almost at her boiling point as she was cursing in Spanish under her breath. He decided to ease her with a little quip in saying "I'd say your soul would be erased from existence," he replied to the arrogant porn star.

"Oh please, who cares if some jag-offs got hurt? Most of them are ugly freaks. Look around, you got a bunch of harlequin babies dying."

"Look who's talking, asshole," said Cael. "I can't exactly make either heads or tails of what kind of demon you're supposed to be. A trans-train wreck is what I'd call you."

"Hey! This body is flawless! Everyone wants some of me," said Angel as he readjusted his fluff. "And I've got the creepy fan letters to prove it." He took out a supposed fan letter from his 'cleavage' and unveiled it as such. It was a fan letter alright; the kind in which had the letters in the note from different magazines as it said 'SHOW ME YOUR FEET!!' with a photo of him and what supposedly looked a human about to molest him. The note was signed by a guy named Bryan but with an 'I' in it followed by '#1 Fan/Critic'.

"Buahuhuhuh," said Cael, shuddering at the site. "If that's the kind of crowd you're attracting, then leave me out of it. I'm kinky as the next guy, but even I have my limits."

"That was still uncool you know, Angel," said Charlie as she finally said something.

"Uncool?! After that train wreck, there's no way anyone is gonna want to stay at the hotel!," exclaimed her cohort before looking at their flawed client. "All thanks to you , and your selfish bullshit!

Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore?" the porn star questioned her. Vaggie's response was simply an angry gesture as she held out her hands as if saying 'Uh yeah! Duh!'. Either one of those would do. "Ah, well shucks." Angel replied with a snap of the fingers.

"Hey c'mon," said Ms. Magne trying to be positive as she took off her tattered suit coat. "We don't know if things are over yet. Try to relax, Vaggie. It'll be okay." She placed a comforting hand on her friend who relaxed and smiled. Cael had to admit, Charlotte looked and talked like someone trying to be optimistic. Always looking on the brighter side; something he occasionally tends to do. Charlie then turned her attention to the archangel. "And now, kind sir, I do believe we need to to know who you are."

"Hm? Oh are we talking about me now?," asked Cael nonchalantly.

"Don't you fucking start too," groaned Vaggie, feeling like she's been irritated enough.

"'Relax, I'm not one to make things difficult."

"Vaggie, please." Charlie pleaded. Vaggie complied, but was not feeling happy about it. "Now then, who are you sir? And just what are you here for? I'm sure you didn't bring Angel back just out of charity, at least I hope that's the case."

"Well as I just said before ma'am, my name is Cael and yes, I am a former archangel. As to why I'm here, it's to assist you," he said with an indicating finger pointing at her.

Blinking in surprise, Hell's princess wasn't quite expecting that response from him and neither was Vaggie. "Help me? How so?"

"Well with whatever you need. Security, maintenance, cleaning, whatever. If it's anything that'll help this hotel, you got it."

"How do you even know about us? How do we even know you're really such an archangel?"

Cael closed his eyes and with one hand on his heart recited"Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.

Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;

And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into Hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen."

Cael looked at them with a cheap grin and said "That sound good enough for you?"

"Uh…I…suppose so," said Charlie, nervously convinced about him; for now at least. Vaggie, on the other hand, well…

"Wait! If you really are a fallen archangel, then what exactly did you do to get here? And how the Hell did you know about us?"

"Yeah, didn't you say that the girls sent you after me? And by 'they' I mean the two bitches present." Angel interjected, making Vaggie starting to fume again but restrained herself as Cael explained himself.

"Well first of all, to answer your question, Dusty. I lied. The real reason, and this is pertaining to you, Miss Vaggie, is that I was sent down here by the big guy upstairs with an important assignment. To see what your little hotel was about. He and my superiors were rather curious being told by one of our informants and wanted to help you out in any way possible."

All three of them blinked in disbelief. Though Charlie thought it too good to be true, even if she really was hopeful for some luck at last. Seeing their doubtful expressions, Cael sighed and pulled out the golden envelope from his briefcase. Now for heavenly beings, they could see this normally. But for demons it would cast a burning bright light at them. And that's just what happened to the three demons in the limo and immediately they demanded him to put it back and so he did.

"Well, my cataracts are temporarily burned out," said a disgruntled Angel rubbing his eyes.

The girls had to blink a few times before regaining their sight again. "Well, Mr. Cael, you've proven your point," said the princess of Hell. She knew from her father about such a thing. "So what exactly can you do for us?"

"Like I said, anything I can do for you. Be security, maintenance. Whatever. As long as I follow some of your guidelines," was Cael's reply. "And no. Not for the means that you might be thinking, mister chlamydia," he said to the porn star.

"Okay, but why though?" Vaggie was trying to get to the heart of the matter as Cael could plainly see. "Just what exactly did you do to be sent down here in the first place?"

It was at this moment, Cael knew he had to get creative and since knowing about the mission, he knew just what to say as the reason. "Well, if you really must pry, ma'am. It's actually because I got punished for going against Heavens' rules and became ordained as an absolute act of disgrace to God."

"Which was…?" Angel seemed interested in knowing what exactly what it was now, especially if it might filthy.

"Organizing an orgy."

"Wait, in Heaven?"

"Oh no, in the Vatican actually."

The eyes of both girls widened in shock, save for Angel who seemed intrigued. "Hmm, kinky," he said.

But the girls looked aghast about what Cael said. "Please tell me you're joking." Charlie asked Cael, really hoping this wasn't all completely true.

"Well I would say 'God strike me down if I'm lying'. But as you can see, that's not quite exactly the case. Though I will say the choir boys certainly were hitting the high notes that day. I can assure you of that," the 'fallen' angel replied as he gave off a little chuckle while Angel giggled a little.

The girls, however, were not amused. Vaggie was looking like Cael had just shat on her dinner plate as Charlie was looking discouraged. "What the…why do such a thing?!" asked Vaggie in disbelief.

"Because I was bored." Carl said, leaning into his seat. They both didn't seem to believe him still. "Oh yeah, I know. It's an awful way of going about it. But you know, it's not all completely hunky dorey up there," he said with a finger pointing upwards.

"What do you mean?," asked Charlie looking puzzled. "Everyone was smiling and happy in Heaven the last time I heard."

"Yeah, maybe so. But for me, it's just too…heavenly." Cael figured he could at least tell them some truth. "You know, just too boring and happy for my taste. Oh everyone is happy, don't get me wrong. But at the price of acting like a complete tool. No swearing, no fucking, and everyone is a winner with no sore losers."

"So what's so bad about it?" asked Vaggie.

"The problem is that they're too one-sided about these things. Never realizing that 'hey, maybe people are sinning too much because of too much pressure in being good'. It's like everything is being ran through political correctness. You use the Lord's name in vain and everyone just looks at you like you just shat on somebody's grave. It's a fucking pain in the ass, for me at least. I'm a grown ass man. I can curse all I want to. Just so long as there's no kids around. There's a work-around for this sort of thing. A compromise if anything."

Charlie pondered over what Cael had said. She didn't care much for rude behavior, but she saw he somewhat had a good point. "So is that why you did what you did? To get away from it all?"

"That would be one way of looking at it, yes." Cael said half-admittedly. "But instead of damming me to Hell like the rest of you, they decided to give me a second chance to redeem myself. Thus, I was sent down here with orders to help you out with this rehabilitation center. This 'hotel' until there's proof that a demon can be reformed. I do that, and I get back into Heaven. So in a way, that makes me a client for you. From a certain point of view. So what do you say?"

Charlie thought about it for a moment. It would be huge if one of their new clients was a fallen angel. Although Vaggie was still not yet convinced. "How can we be certain that you won't hurt us?"

Cael, thinking it over, sighed and took out his Glock and handed it to her. "Will this help?" Charlie and Vaggie were shocked once again upon seeing that he still had his gun on him and that he was so willing to hand it over to them.

The girls took a moment to talk it over as Cael sat back and waited patiently. They soon broke their huddle and Charlie spoke. "We accept your proposal. But once we get to the hotel, we'll have to set up some ground rules. Understood?" She sounded authoritative, but still slightly nervous about Cael.

"Not a problem. As long as they are negotiable." Cael said as he allowed Vaggie to take the gun from him and stowed it away via magic satchel (and by that pulling or putting away shit out of nowhere). Cael extended a hand to shake on it which Charlie took. When he did the same for Vaggie, she seemed hesitant until coerced into it by Charlie. Done and done, the limo soon reached the Happy Hotel itself.

The exterior of the hotel was a tall, elaborate amalgamation of arched windows and turrets, one of which seemed to be broken. It looked about seven stories tall, with at least five being possible guest floors. Three signs were displayed outside the hotel: one atop the entrance reminiscent of the hotel logo, a large pink one atop the building with the hotel's name in lights, and a neon 'HOTEL' sign at the bottom right.

The entrance had a trail that led into a tent. There was no actual door for this hotel, being possibly broken. Level 1 and 2 seemed to be relatively normal, but then Cael saw a train with broken tracks and a rusty boat. Next to the boat were some bells and an arrow that pointed to 'happy hotel'. There were also two dead trees next to the hotel.

As they walked inside, Cael could see the hotel's interior was in a state of disrepair. With wooden boards covering shattered windows, signs warning of asbestos, bloodied tools left lying around, and paintings hanging off the walls. However, the overall theme of the building remained ornate and regal with stained glass windows, lavish furniture, and generous usage of gold.

Like the rest of Hell, the hotel had a red color scheme. "Christ it's like the house of De Vil." (101 Dalmatians reference if y'all didn't get it) Cael muttered to himself.

He then saw the front desk sadly decorated for welcoming newcomers. "Man, this is about as sad as I thought it was." Cael thought to himself. Everyone else soon followed as Vaggie slumped onto a couch with a groan while Angel went over to a leaning mini fridge to take out a popsicle which looked like the only thing in there.

"It's probably a good idea to get some actual food in this place," he said to Charlie as she sat down on a crate. "You know, to feed all the wayward souls you got in here." He tried to pass it off as fun ribbing to her as he gave a soft chuckle at the end. But Charlie was not quite in the mood for some lighthearted humor at the moment as Cael could see she was feeling down in the dumps after today. He couldn't blame her for being so. It was the same kind of look he would have on days when being a cop was the hardest. Angel looked like he was about to apologize to her, but then decided not to as he walked over to another part of the room.

As he saw a sulking Charlie move to the entrance of the hotel, Cael followed her just to see what she was up to. He acted casually as he hung near the door while listening to what was happening. He could hear her calling her mother and by the sound of it, it was on voicemail. He heard her telling her mom about the interview and could sense the sadness in her voice about the uncertainty of her little project. From what he gathered, apparently her dad may have been right about her on whatever he thought about it.

"Poor thing," he said in his thoughts, feeling sympathetic about how the princess was feeling. Cael knew what it was like wanting to make a difference in the world, only to be stepped on because of the generalization that there were bad cops in the world. No matter what he did, even if it was through small acts of kindness, it wasn't enough to balance out the hate.

He heard the door handle jiggle and stepped back to see Charlie coming back inside, looking like she was about to cry but held it in (as most women could). She looked up to see him there looking awkward. "Hey," she said weakly.

"Hey." Cael sighed before continuing. "Listen Charl, if I may call you that, I can honestly sympathize with you doing all of this," he gestures to the hotel as a whole. "I can only imagine the challenges of accomplishing such a goal like yours. I just want to be honest and blunt with you when I say it'll never get any easier. That's just how fate plays the game. No matter how much you complain about it. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that there's still more than one way to go about this. By what I've seen so far you've got the right idea, just the wrong approach."

"How would you go about it?" she finally was able to ask when he was finished.

"Well for one thing if I were you, I wouldn't just assume everyone would jump on the bandwagon. Instead, I propose this as more of a choice for Hell's demons. After all, there is one great gift given to us. To all of us regardless of what plane of existence we're living in. And that's our free will. It can either be used wisely or just thrown away for the easiest route. The demons can either choose to reform and possibly find a better life upstairs or they can still live down here for the rest of our lives as they see fit. From what I've seen, people are more apt for different choices. And that's exactly what I am offering to you now. If you're willing to trust me, I guarantee you that I will do everything within my power to help you with this little project of yours. Shit, if you want it signed in blood on a contract then fine. Either way, I'll still assist you with whatever you need. Provided that terms and conditions are reasonable and in favor to the both of us. Sound good enough for ya?"

He offered his hand to her. Hesitant, the princess of Hell went with her gut in wanting to trust this archangel and shook his hand firmly. "Alright, Mr. Cael. I'm willing to give you a chance."

"Thank you, Ms. Magne. But please, just call me Cael."

"Alright then, Cael," she replied feeling a little better about some possible luck in her midst. "Shall we go over the terms now?"

Before Cael could answer, the door was knocked on in the old 'Shave and a Haircut' beat. Both archangel and demon looked first at the door, then back at each other as they could feel the ominous music playing. "Maybe there's some luck after all." Cael suggested. They both opened the door to see what neither of them were expecting: a strange looking demon that was quite slim, with beige colored skin, and sharp yellow teeth. He sported a short red angled bob cut with black tipping on the bottom and two large black-tipped tufts of hair extending from the top of his head, resembling deer ears, an undercut and two small black antlers. His eyes had a blood red sclerae, bright red irises and black pupils.

The demon wore a blood red oval-shaped monocle over his right eye, a dark red pinstriped coat which was slightly ragged along the bottom, a bright red dress shirt with a black cross on the chest underneath and long burgundy dress pants with matching bright red cuffs. He also sported a red-knotted bowtie, burgundy gloves, and black pointed-toe boots with red deer hoofprints emblazoned on the soles. And to complete the look, a thin cane with a sentient vintage style microphone attached to it was held in his hands. Caels' brows lifted as Charlie's eyes widened.

"What kind of luck this guy might offer, I don't even know."