Falling Down The Rabbit Hole Of Deceit

I had been talking to him for a while. We were acquaintances in high school, but he just had something I was attracted to. His eyes held a certain clarity and emotion to them. Almost as if he was never once confused about what demons destroyed him every night. They were deep, so much so that I lost myself in them a few times without noticing. He was angsty and brilliant, but had no idea how to turn all of his potential into real profit. Asher had destroyed me and I desperately tried to forget everything about him.

Though, no matter how I tried to forget, Asher's facial expressions, intricacies, the way he felt were all engrained in me. In my mind and memories. I couldn't rid myself of Asher, but I found similarities between this person and Asher. It was a despicable thing of me to do since I was still dating Zen, but I had inadvertently fallen for Mitchell. The night that I quit my job, I took a taxi out to see Mitchell. It was 2 in the morning and we had been talking all night, but I was so emotionally disheveled that I just wanted to see a friend. Not just any friend, but I desired his company.

I was nervous because I had never really been alone with Mitchell before, though, I always felt calm around him. He was insightful and thoughtful...passionate about what he loved as well. He didn't try to act like a total idiot to impress anyone like some of the other people we spent our time with. That night, he opened his door to let me inside and took me upstairs to his room. He lived with his aunt and rented out an upstairs bedroom from her.

At first the air was stiff and neither of us knew what we wanted to do or say since this was the first time we spent any time together by ourselves. We both shifted our glances around the room until our eyes finally met. He leaned up from his dresser, reaching his hand to wrap it around my waist. He looked me in the eyes for a second and kissed me. It was warm and almost steamy. I reached my hands so they took form around his jaws. The mood was thickening with every breath and every touch. He gently guided me over to his bed and laid me down, then he looked into my eyes once more before leaning down on top of me and kissing me again.

Smoothly, we worked together to remove our clothes, one piece at a time. Once everything that counts was removed, he laid down on top of me putting his arms tight against my shoulders, then he grabbed the edge of his mattress. I put my hands on his chest as he slowly started moving. This felt different than what I'd known. There was something carnal, a feeling like our souls and bodies were meant to connect. The way he drew me in was incredible and I knew nothing of my situation or what was wrong in what I was doing, but my focus, pleasure, emotions were all centered around him and what he was doing with me.

It seemed like we had been going forever. I wasn't complaining, but when it was done I felt something new. I felt like there was a reason for this. I'm not sure if it was something that aligned our stars, but the way I felt for him couldn't be ignored anymore. I didn't tell him. I decided to keep that to myself. Jake picked me up on his way home from a friend of ours who lived by Mitchell. Maybe a week had gone by and I found myself in my bedroom alone with Mitchell. I started drinking and smoking heavier since I was out of work, so I'm not quite sure how we got here, but he found some good acid and wanted to share.

We each dropped two hits, taking more later. The sound of Blue Big Hill State playing on Netfix in the background, room was dark, the only thing we could focus on was each other. I had already messed up once and I felt terrible even though things between Zen and I were pretty much done, but I couldn't fight Mitchell's allure. I think he felt the same way because Zen was his friend. They had been friends for years and now Mitchell went behind Zen's back and slept with his girlfriend. Mitchell and I had a mutual agreement that we could not do that again, so we tried to watch the show.

As the effects of the acid grew stronger, the sense of attraction that I managed to snuff out came roaring back at full force. I wanted to have fun and be playful, but I understood our boundaries. He must gotten the same idea because he initiated the total fuckery that ensued that night. We were like those happy couples you see in American Christmas romance movies. Rolling around, laughing, playing, kissing, doing anything we can to appease this sexual tension without having sex. It was tantalizing, but then morning dawned and it had to come to an end.

We pulled ourselves together as if we hadn't spent the night entwined in lust. Just in time for Zen and Jake to come home.