Chapter 1

"Every day is going to be a new day, they say, but not for me. For me is a repeated song in my head that repeatedly plays until that one day I've had enough."

*I want his body so bad*.

I wake up from my dream, and I look around and try to breathe.

"Crap," I breathed, "I'm thinking about him again." As I get up from her bed to wash my face; As she washes her face and starts to brush her teeth, she looks at her reflection.

*I am not beautiful; he will never want me, ever*. I thought as I walk to my closet and picks out a simple long sleeve t-shirt and jeans.

"Hayden! Breakfast!" mom called, "I made your favorite, chocolate chip pancakes!"

"Coming Mom!" she said, running down the stairs. When she comes to the table, she grabs her pancakes and sits down to eat them.

*I'm fine, act fine*

My mom hugs me and tells me to get to school, or I will be late.

"Alright," I said while putting my dish in the sink when I finished. "Are you sure you don't want me to clean my dish before I go?"

"Oh honey, you are so sweet, but I got it, now go to school!" Mom tossed my car keys and smiled.

"Have a good day at school," Mom says, smiling as she goes and does the dishes. Grabbing my backpack and heading out the door

When I get to school and park in my usual parking space, get out of her car and walk to school to sit on the steps, waiting for the doors to open. As she was about to pull out a book from her bag, she hears the motors of someone's vehicle. As the car doors open, I see him, the one she has to get out of her head. I run up the steps as quickly as possible and open the door and run to the girls' bathroom. I caught my breath and sat down in the large stall and locked the stall door.

"Crap," I covered my face with my knees. "I hope they didn't see me, man, that would be a disaster if they did." After a few mins, I get myself up, grab my backpack, and wash my hands before leaving the bathroom.

*I can do this; I can do this; keep your head down, and you're going to be okay.*

I walk to my locker, and as I put everything away, and I feel someone's presence. I turn around; it's Colton Boyle, the hottest, and I mean the most alluring guy at Maxwell High. He's always with his partner in crime, Ash McAdam, not my type per se, but he is cute. When I least expect it, Colton looks over and smiles, winks, and licks his lips. I blush so hard, and I remember maybe he was looking at someone else, like Avery Wyatt, the mean girl at our school. She came to our school last year, and she was just a nightmare.

I grab my stuff, close my locker, and get to first period English to sit in my seat, when my best friend, Belle, comes in.

"Hey H! How are you?" she asks, "Did you see Colton today, omg, right?"

"How are you this happy in the morning?"

"I'm just in a good mood."

"Anyway, are you driving with me after school?"

"Nah, I am going with Grayson, we are going on a date!"

"I'm happy for you," saying that makes my chest hurts. I am happy for Belle, just not at the moment.

"Why, thank you!" she smiles. "So, what's with you and Colton?"

"Belle, nothing is going on! Jeez."

"I saw the way he looked at you, silly."

"He was probably to looking at Avery."

"Avery isn't hot like you!" As she says that, Colton walks in, with a smile on his face.

"Everyone gets seated so we can start the lesson," the teacher looks at Colton, "Mr.Boyle, take a seat next to Ms.Walker."

*Oh god, no no no no, not me.*

I cover my face as I sweat and turn red.

"Aight, teach, cool," Colton says as he takes the seat next to me. As I look over at him, he smiles and winks.

*Oh my god, did he- wait, he's winking at someone else.*

When class starts, the teacher goes over what we are doing today. As the course goes on, the teacher assigned work in our textbooks; as I try to concentrate, Colton runs his hand on my arm and whispers, "Hey, what's the answer to number five?" I try not to squeal, blushing even more than when he first walked in.

"I...uh...I g-g-got five children."

"Thanks, Walker," he says as he bites his lip and starts to work again.

*What the heck was that? He could have asked Avery! She wasn't far from where I sat.*

When the bell rang, I picked up my stuff and tried to head out the door as fast as possible.

"Hey, Walker, wait up!" I turn to see Colton running to my side. "I kind of need your help with something."

"S-sorry, I need to be somewhere, but you can ask Avery." I head out the door, "Bye."

*Why the hell does it need my help? I'm not pretty or anything, just average.* I try not to look back, but all I could think about is how he touched me; his body is warm.

*Wait, that was an accident, stupid Hayden.*

After a few classes, it was time for lunch. I was starving, and I will be eating alone because Belle wants to sit next to Grayson, her boyfriend. Seniors are allowed to get outside food, but I rather eat an apple and a peanut butter sandwich outside since it's nice out. I find a shady tree and put my headphones on while I eat. A while later, I feel someone's presence, take off my headphones and look up, and Avery.

"Hey, Loser, stay away from my man, will you?" I stare at her with confusion, wondering if she is talking about Colton. Last time I checked, he wasn't dating anyone.

"Last I checked, he wasn't dating anyone, but okay." I shrugged

"Don't be a smartass; everyone knows I am dating him and not a loser like you."

"The teacher told him to sit next to me, not like I had a choice." Avery huffs at me and walks away. When I look where she's headed, she runs to Colton and wraps her arm around him.

*I wish I were brave enough to do that.*

I start to tear up and cover my face. After a minute passed, I secretly pull out my blade from my bag, and when I know no one is looking, I pull up my sleeve just a little and cut my skin a couple of times, having a napkin to cover it up the blood. I pull down my sleeve and grab all of my stuff and head inside to the bathroom where it was empty and wash off the blood and put a bandage on it.

*I hate my life and will never be beautiful for him.*

After I wash up, I go out of the bathroom and start putting away my bag and taking out my supplies for the art class. When I close my locker, I bump into someone, and as I fall, someone catches me, and when I look up, it's Colton.

"Ahhh!!" I scramble to get my stuff, "I'm sorry I'll watch where I am going. Don't worry, I will take an entire-" Colton shushes me and smiles.

"It's okay, Walker; it's my fault." When he stares deep into my eyes, he does the most unexpected thing, he kisses my cheek and pulls me to my feet. "See you later" He walks away to his buddies at the end of the hall.

*Okay, what in the hell was that??! Did he just...oh god, he did.*

I touch my cheek, where he kissed me and stood there in disbelieve. Then I remember that Avery is going to kill me if she finds out. I run to my next class and wait at the door for the bell to ring and head inside. I sit at my table and starts working on the on-going end of the year project. We have to paint something that symbolizes our life as a whole. Mine isn't unique anyway. I am just doing this for credit to get out of this hell hole of this school. After a few minutes have gone by, I look up and see that Avery walks in with her two sidekicks and comes up to me, looking angry and furious.

*Oh, boy, she found out.*

"You're such a lame person," She clenched her fist, "you wished you as pretty as me," She takes at my art piece, rips into shreds, and dumps

"There, that will teach you to make a move on my man." She walks off as nothing happened. I immediately cover my face and avoid any eye contact. As the bell rang and everyone scrambles to their seats, whispering about my project on the floor, the teacher, Mrs. Baker, walks in and hushes everyone.

"Okay, class today, we will continue our end of the year projects," as she explains today's projects, she looks on the floor and her facial changes. "Okay, who ripped their art project and didn't clean."

"It wasn't looking good, so I ripped it. I'll pick it up right now, sorry ma'am" As I pick up the ripped art piece, everyone murmurs, and giggles. They must have heard the rumors, I guess, can't listen to what they are saying when I cleared the floor and have thrown away the piece of my artwork. I sit back in my seat and listen to the teacher write that we are still going to work on our end of the year projects but have another assignment due next week. I start sketching in my sketchbook quietly and trying to concentrate on all of the talking and giggling.

Hours passed, and I have sketched something useful and not just for credit. Mrs.Baker comes and peers over me and pats me on the back.

"This is what I call art with no boundaries!" I look at her, confused, and then someone from outside shouts,

"Hayden Walker, you are so dead!" Mrs. Baker hustles outside to try to find where the voice. She comes back inside the classroom and takes a deep breath and says.

"Everyone in the hallway, single file against the lockers, now!" she has her serious face on and as everyone lines up against the lockers.

"Now who wants to tell me what the hell is going on and what was that about?" she raises her voice while pointing down the hallway. As quiet the hallway is, no one spoke, you could hear a pin drop. As time ticks and we are still in the hallway, Colton comes from the right of the hallway, looking up and down at me.

"Excuse me, teach? The principal needs Hayden and I was assigned to escort her" he bows and winks at me. Mrs. Baker looks at him and gives me the approval look and says,

"Everyone back in the classroom, we will discuss this later, do I make myself, clear?"

"Yes, ma'am" everyone says in union.