chapter 1: Death Already?

As humans, we go through each day with a promise of tomorrow, so we make plans, set goals, and mark dates on calendars, but there is no certainty of another tomorrow, much less another moment.

We take for granted the time we have and misuse it with the expectation of a tomorrow to come, and for some it does, and those proceed to make mistakes again and again however for others, it does not and they bemoan the mistakes made and desire a chance to rectify their mistakes.

We humans, are so weak and so very unsatisfied we crave for more, what we possess is never enough but we never stop to ask why? So we run and run in the hamster wheel that is life until we don't have a tomorrow left.

That should have been my story just like you and the rest of the world, but it was not to be instead I had a new life after my demise as a human.

I gained access to eternal life some might say, with the existing limitations are your own and I lived and I made a mark for myself in my new life; I was born as a human but will die as something else.

I prey on the very species I was once now, I enjoy and witness delights unlike anything else and I have learned to push my human emotions aside to be strong and faster.

But the great irony is in times of fear and danger I fall weak to those emotions, I have learned that life is nothing but irony.

My life as a human was very normal aside from my mother changing men like bags, it was a stable and repetitive life I led... until the night of my death of course, at 9:30 pm.

*****

Sixteen years old

This should be the time of my life causing trouble and going to parties having fun making out in some dark corner but no, instead of another Friday night spent staring up at the ceiling, I just don't know what is wrong with me.

I get invitations to every party that is thrown and every out that takes place but for some reason, I find it all so boring. I just don't feel apathetic about the things I want and should be interested in. So here I am staring at my fucking ceiling like it's the most interesting thing in the world.

Every day is the same, get up, take a shower because you know, hygiene and everything, have breakfast with my mother, go to school, sleep through classes, pretend to give a damn about what people say to me and what comes out of their mouths then finally head home and repeat.

Sixteen years of the same thing endlessly I mean why do we have to suffer so many years of schooling, is our species as a whole idiotic? We go through so many years of schooling and yet the best of us do the stupidest things, it's meaningless. 

"Cade, are you up there again staring at your ceiling?" 

He stood up with sight and walked out of his room and made his way to the staircase and looked at his mother who was standing on the landing, " No, mom, I was complimenting the nature of human stupidity."

He watched as his mother smiled while rolling her eyes and lifted the bags she was holding, "Since you're done, I brought Chinese food for you," with a flick of her hair she walked off into the dining room, her golden hair bouncing behind her in waves as she turned the corner.

He walked down the stairs and walked to the dining room as he passed by a mirror in the hallway and looked at his reflection. Olive skin, golden locks just like his mother, crystal blue eyes, Roman nose, a chiseled jawline, standing at 6'4 feet; he was the perfect crush according to his best friend. 

When other people see him they say he looks good but for some reason, he always felt something was missing from himself like there is a part of him missing. He has always felt unbalanced but other people say he looks almost perfect, his figure has never changed, no matter what he doesn't gain weight or lose weight and since he was twelve he had eight packs but oddly enough he never exercised or did any sports. 

If anything, he read books and was reclusive and a nerd who likes to read everything that he found remotely interesting.

"Cade, come eat your dinner."

Shaking off his thoughts he made his way to the dining room table and got ready to eat. but staring at the food on the plate he felt no appetite and briefly thought about just eating it but he put down the fork he was holding, looking at his mom he spoke " Mom, I don't feel like eating Chinese tonight. I think I'll just go buy some snacks at the convenience store."

She stared at him for some time as if trying to find something in his eyes and then dropped her eyes back to her plate and spoke, "Get some money and be back before 9:30."

He quickly stood up while promising to be back before then in passing as he left. As he walked along the sidewalk in front of his house he saw his mother looking at him through the living room window. He didn't know why but he thought that his mom seemed so lonely at that window by himself, he waved at her and yelled, "I love you!" before he walked out of the view of his house.

There are many things about this night that still shock me but what stayed with me was the way my mother looked at me across the dining room, her brown eyes seemed to try and put all of my details into her brain and the way she stood at that window I wonder, did she feel something did she have a slight clue that that night was the last night of my first life?

'Mom, did you feel it? Were you afraid?' He always wanted to ask but he could never.

He made it to the convenience store and got some snacks and as he was about to pay for the things he got, he felt the back of his neck prickle, the hair on the back of his neck standing up, he didn't bother looking behind him and continued paying. 

As he stepped out of the store, he put his right hand into his hoodie pocket and made his way down the path he just came all the feeling the scorching gaze pinned on his body and then in the next second it was gone, he stopped in surprise and looked back but he saw nothing, it seems his old friend is busy tonight.

He continued on his way but when passing by an alleyway leading directly to his house, he decided to take a shortcut through the alleyway.

As he walked down the dark path he felt a chill creeping into his bones and sped up his paces subconsciously and just as he reached the mouth of the alleyway with his house before him glowing with lights and warmth his path was cut off.

He was startled when a person showed up in front of him and had no time to respond when they pushed him back and that is when it happened.

*****

I died.

My life ended just like that. No fight for my life, no struggle, no knife going through my body, no car accident it was falling back that killed me. I cracked my skull open on a rock.

This brings me back to human stupidity, it would have been safer to take the path I used a million times before during my brief life, but no, I decided it would be better to take a dark alleyway with no cameras to get back home. See, even the best of us are rather short-sighted.