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Gotham's Dead End Bar

Step 1: Be a serial reincarnator. Step 2: End up in Gotham with Death of the Endless. Step 3: Open a neutral-ground bar for heroes and villains. Step 4: ??? Step 5: Profit. Don't go into this story expecting something serious or (grim)dark. This isn't that kind of story and that's not what I'm trying to do here. This is a story about a bartender telling crazy stories about his time in the multiverse to the villains and heroes of DC. It's practically crack, about two steps removed from a fix-it fic. There is a plot (eventually, the beginning chapters are pretty slice-of-life heavy) but it's never going to be some grand tale of tragedy. In the same lane, don't expect the same Batman/Bat Family that you might be used to. No paranoiax10, dark, and gritty 'Batman can't be/have fun!' Batman. My Batman is more in line with the 'Batdad' concept or the animated series Batman. Also, this is kind of an AU. Not in any major way but some of the story might not match up perfectly with the DC canon continuity. I'm going for a static DC universe. So characters and their backstories are set but I'll be avoiding the major plot points of the comics (Dark Multiverse, Infinite Frontier, etc.) Pat reon.com/dryskies_btb for early chapters. 370k words are already available there.

Daddy · Anime und Comics
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66 Chs

41: Savage Adventure Awaits!

Endless pinks and reds swirled somewhere in the ether, partially removed from reality. Lust and Passion, fiery Rage and cold Apathy, in that out-of-phase realm, there existed only DESIRE.

Scenes from the ether sprung into being only to fade just as quickly. Ghostly bodies writhed in carnal intimacy. Roses bloomed, spreading open until they burst into a constant rain of lovely rose petals. Traditional vices and untraditional temptations whispered to the winds. Reality itself seemed to purr and moan in the strange realm of Endless Desire.

And in the center of it all, an utterly androgynous figure floated freely. Here and there, unconstrained and uncontrolled as they felt all Desire should be. Gender had no meaning for the being that embodied all of reality's Endless Desire. No, more than that… Gender just got in the way of their fun~.

Desire of the Endless constantly shifted their form this way and that. From big bazongas to a completely flat chest and back to big ol' tibbity titties. From an absolute dumpy in the rear to a butt tight and pert enough to bounce a quarter off of. From a massive bitch-breaking cock to the tightest, pinkest pussy.

Their mindset was just as fluid as their form. Copies of itself split off to frolic and ~FUCK~ within the Endless Desire. New tastes and pleasures to explore. Their realm was one of ceaseless, self-centered self-gratification.

They giggled to themselves maniacally. Desire always had fun molding their physical appearance like clay. So many options and combinations to explore~! Sinful to pure as freshly driven snow, there could be no END to their Desire~! … Until they grew bored and decided to check up on their siblings, of course.

Let's see… Despair was wallowing. As always. Destiny was plotting and scheming. As always. Destruction was missing. As always. Dream — the dick — was dreaming. Desire made sure to reach out and tweak something here and there to continue their constant conflict with their dreamy older brother. The dick deserved it. As always.

When Desire came to her last two siblings, they found something was different from the Endless norm. Their curiosity was piqued. Delirium was remarkably focused on something within herself. She felt almost… motherly toward whatever thing or creature or concept she was currently harboring.

With a hum, Desire turned her attention to the LAST of them. And paused. And ~GRINNED~. Death had found a companion. Desire looked through the past few months — the blink of an eye for the Endless. More than a mere companion, it seemed. Death had found herself a Prince Consort. How interesting~…

This would require a careful touch. Unlike Dream — the eternal dick —, Desire didn't despise her Deathly sister. If anything, she was one of their favorites. Perhaps second only to their twin Despair. And while Desire couldn't and wouldn't prevent themself from PLAYING, they would have to be careful. Even they weren't immune to Didi's disappointment…

But that didn't still their hand completely. How long had Desire been trying to get her siblings to interact more with the reality they Endlessly presided over? To actively pursue or at least acknowledge that even they weren't without DESIRE? Much too long. Endless stagnation was just so boring — no spark, no flare. Even if it was an inherent part of their Endless existence, they didn't have to let it be the ONLY part…

If this change had presented itself with Dream — the infuriatingly Endless dick —, Desire wouldn't have moderated their hand at all. But Didi, and to a certain extent Del, were different. After all, DEATH would be the END of them all. And what was DELIRIUM but the DESIRE for something beyond existence's normal ken?

"Also, Didi's just too damn nice…" Desire grumbled to themselves. Their passionately fluid mindset paused in their Endless enjoyment to all turn and nod their agreement.

Desire sighed an exquisitely impure sound that washed over their realm. Oh, well. They would simply have to moderate their playful meddling. Which meant nothing that could be considered outright hostile. They didn't necessarily want to harm their Deathly sister anyway. Just… make things more interesting~.

This new Prince Consort — Sean Caine — was at the center of Didi's intriguing changes. Del's as well, surprisingly enough. He was strange. Not just an Outsider. Something… MORE. Yet at the same time, he belonged in this reality — with Didi —, anchored as if he'd been born here.

A wickedly mischievous grin spread across Desire's face. They couldn't affect him directly. Not without what they knew would be a fight and perhaps even backlash from Didi. But the others around Death and her Prince Consort were fair game.

And look at that~! It seemed Didi didn't discriminate against her Prince Consort's DESIRES~! Desire cackled to themselves. The Deathly harem was a long time coming in their mind.

The women around Sean and Didi who had already acted on their DESIRES were likely off-limits. And Desire wouldn't have interfered there anyway. The 'chase' was always where they found the majority of their fun.

There were a few 'newcomers' around the 'royal' Deathly couple. Those who hadn't yet confirmed and acted upon their DESIRES. Perhaps they could use a nudge or two or three~?

Oh~? And this newest of comers was certainly interesting~… Almost lost in so much pent-up DESIRE! A touch here and there wouldn't be amiss, right~? Just to prod her along the path she was already walking in the most interesting of ways.

Then Desire turned their attention farther afield. Someone driven by pure DESIRE and connected to the past of Sean's HEART knocked almost desperately on the doors to this reality. Another Outsider? A… pseudo-angel…? Well, it couldn't hurt if Desire helped this 'Simmy' find a way inside, could it?

Having the most fun that they'd had in centuries, Desire eagerly (and carefully) pulled strings here and there all over reality. Just nudging things to the most interesting conclusion. Nothing that Didi would frown and admonish them for.

Of course, such work was usually Destiny's domain… but surely that Endless fuddy-duddy wouldn't mind if the future was prodded in a more… DESIRED direction. Desire gleefully set themself to work, directing the future down a path that would come to include more interesting Outsiders and those funny little gods that thought themselves invincible…

IIIII

My eyes narrowed as I felt it again. It was barely there. The weakest of ripples in reality. I'm sure even Didi wouldn't have noticed. But I was intensely familiar with someone or something fucking with my FATE. And I was very much NOT a fan of Powers-That-Be, The Heavens, or Fate-Weavers.

I'd have to mention it to Didi at some point. That her Endless brother Destiny was likely meddling where he shouldn't be. As all destiny-centered beings tended to do. They were always some of the worst offenders when it came to not minding their own business.

The ripples settled and I let the whole situation linger in the back of my mind for now. I had defenses in place for this sort of thing. Very good defenses that I was pretty sure even the Endless would have trouble meddling with. If this fated meddling continued and began to trouble me or those I cared about? Well, Didi and I would just have to make a very pointed family visit…

For now, I was tentatively okay with sitting back and seeing what happened. Not all fate meddling was bad. That still didn't mean I was a fan of it but it at least made things interesting. And what was retirement without a few fun complications?

Speaking of complications…

"Haha! Do not resist, my eternal rival!" Savage declared, his booming laugh and voice nearly shaking the whole bar. "You are being abducted… Er, rescued! Yes, rescued from the monotony of your daily grind under the despicable burdens of CAPITALISM!"

He hadn't announced his visit this time. Just burst into the Dead End through a wall (that was already fixing itself) like he was making some sort of reference. Only I'm pretty sure he wasn't. Savage was just like this all the time. And he'd already stated his dislike for the concept of 'doors' the first time he was here.

I raised a flat eyebrow at his antics, amused but not showing it, "You know I choose to work, right? I like running the Dead End and I certainly don't want for money in any way, shape, or form."

"Irrelevant!" Savage dismissed my deadpan reply out of hand. "You require a break from your daily toils! Fear not, for I am here to provide it! Come with me if you want to live (again). Like MEN!"

"Ahh," I realized where he was going with this at that last line. "This is a bro-trip, isn't it? A bro-cation? Bro-break? Bro-lough? Bro-oliday?"

Savage threw his head back and LAUGHED, "INDEED! We shall bond as men-! Nay, as immortal brothers!"

"Well, why didn't you say so?" I grinned. "It's been too long since I've had a good bro-trip. Didi? Do you mind watching the bar while I'm gone bro-ing down with Savage?"

Didi rolled her eyes in fond exasperation, "Of course not, dear. You boys go have your fun. I'll be fine on my own for a few days."

"You could always do something similar here with the girls," I suggested.

"How fun," Didi's lips twitched up into a smile. "You know, I think we just might."

I turned back to Savage, who was waiting for my response in a dramatic pose, "Alright, it looks like I'm free, Savage. What do you have planned for our first immortal bro-trip?"

"Excellent!" Savage grinned — the expression as wide and wild as always on his face. "Prepare thyself, Sean! We shall be escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism… SPACE!"

"Don't think you're slick with that little reference there, Savage. I know it too. Good taste though," I chuckled.

"As always!" He laughed with me.

It only took a moment to prepare myself for a space bro-trip with Savage. All of my physical needs could be taken care of in one way or another. With magic, conceptual power, or whatever else I decided to use. Most of my preparation was mental.

Savage was a force of nature, a storm and a tsunami combined into a humanoid form. And I was aware that I wasn't the most uneventful person myself. Together? Our bro-trip was just as likely to tear a new hole in the universe as it was to create a Sean-Savage space empire. Or maybe even something more obscure and insane. You could never truly know what was going to happen when immortals went on a bro trip.

Looking around the bar at our audience, I could tell that no one other than maybe Didi realized the danger that the universe outside of Earth was now in. There were many reactions — mainly to Savage's ever-exuberant antics — but they were all tinted with a degree of amusement. Not the dread that they all would have felt if they truly understood.

It was still early in the night so not many of the regulars got to witness my 'abduction'. That might be for the best. I had more confidence in my villainous regulars' intelligence. They would likely figure out why leaving me and Savage unsupervised for a trip like this might not be the best idea.

Barbara certainly would when she learned of the bro-trip. Then she'd likely tell Batman or the League. Maybe both. And then they might even try to stop us or worse, assign us a 'guide' (read: chaperone). I wanted to avoid that for now. What was the fun of a bro-trip with heroic supervision? No offense to the heroes of the Justice League but most of the male ones would just harsh our vibe. And since this was a bro-trip, the fun ones like Diana couldn't really come along.

Yes, it was best if we got moving quickly here before we could run into complications of oversight. There was no doubt in my mind that at least some of the heroes would feel the need to keep an eye on us when word reached them. Green Lantern (one of them) seemed the most likely suspect there. Messing with him could be fun but I didn't want it to take over the whole of me and Savage's bro-trip. It looked like a headstart was in order.

Nodding to myself, I said, "We can leave whenever, Savage. I assume you've already prepared a method of transportation? You don't seem like the type who'd want me to carry them everywhere."

"Perish the thought! My word, the embarrassment… I would never recover!" Savage's expression grew haunted by exaggerated revulsion. "No, we shall be traveling in style, my friend! I have already secured our… ride, as they say…"

He looked very eager to get this bro-trip started. Of course, Savage always looked eager about something so it was a bit hard to tell. Still, he was practically twitching on his feet. It seemed that he had a surprise waiting for me.

Didi got my attention, taking my hand and guiding me close. She kissed me, soft and brief but no less heartfelt because of it, "Don't die, dear. I would be very cross if you did and I had to bring you back to life."

"Me? Die?" I smirked. "Never. It's not like I have a history of it."

She stared at me, trying very hard to appear unamused, "Savage? Keep an eye on him for me, will you?"

"It will be done, Lady Didi," Savage said, his voice growing as serious as steel. "No harm shall come to your Prince Consort so long as I draw breath."

I rolled my eyes fondly, leaned in to give Didi a brief kiss of my own, and began ushering Savage out the door. As I did, I called out over my shoulder, "We'll be safe-… Well, we won't die, at least!"

Didi sighed, "Unfortunately, that's the most I can ask…"

I had to physically overpower Savage to get him out of the Dead End. He really didn't like doors, it seemed… Chuckling to myself, we finally made it onto the street. Our bro-trip had officially started. And immediately, I paused in my tracks, staring at the sight that awaited us.

"Savage…?" I asked slowly. "Why and HOW is there a sailing sloop parked on my street?"

"Is it not obvious?!" Savage exclaimed, proud and heedless of my flat tone. "This… is our stylish ride for this trip!"

"Didn't you say we were going to space?" I couldn't stop hints of amusement from creeping into my voice.

"I dare say I did!" Savage laughed. "That is the beauty of this vessel! The Age of Sail is not as dead as the rumors would have you believe! It has simply evolved to its ultimate, quintessential form!"

Savage's words would have left most people confused. Dumbfounded, even. I simply nodded, "I see. And did you just strap anti-grav boosters onto a sloop or did you actually make it space-worthy?"

"Ahahah! YES!" Savage grinned, 'answering' my question.

I sighed, "Well, I suppose it is a classic… And I can't say I've been to space like this before. But… is the Jolly Rogers really necessary?"

Savage nodded firmly and wildly, "Tis the only flag I fly! Come, come! We must up-anchor and be off! Adventure awaits, my friend!"

Without waiting for me to reply, Savage leaped onto the ship with a single bound. I took a moment to examine the vessel before I followed him. It wasn't massive, only about 25 feet long. Easily crewable by two experienced sailors. I had a feeling that together, Savage and I more than qualified for that.

The boat had a treated oak hull more than strong enough to hold under its own weight, even on dry land. It looked decently standard for the sailing ships I was used to. But at the same time, she had a flair that was unique to her. The sails were in untraditional places for a sea ship — mostly at the bow and stern but also on the outer hull in places that would have usually been beneath the waterline. Since this was a space sloop, it seemed that Savage (or whoever he got to build the thing) had a bit of fun with it.

Then something Savage had said tickled the back of my mind, "Hold on, up-anchor?! Did you drop anchor in the middle of my street, Savage?!"

He waved dismissively as I followed him up onto the ship's deck, "Bah, it's hardly something to yell about. Just a bit of a pothole. I'll just pull her up and we'll be fine… Maybe. We might need you to give us a mighty magical toss, friend. I'm afraid I might have beached her ever-so-slightly…"

I felt my eye twitch just a tiny bit, "Oh, I'll give you a toss, alright…"

"You will?" Savage perked up, smiling. "Wonder-FUUUUULLLLLLLL~!"

With an irritated flex of will, I took the whole ship into my grasp and flung us skyward. Or perhaps spaceward would be more accurate considering I had no intention of stopping our ascent before we reached orbit. In mere seconds, we were well on our way out of the atmosphere, propelled by enough magical power to light up the entirety of Gotham for half a century.

The last bit of Savage's 'wonderful' was ripped from his lungs by the force of our sudden ascent, the force of my 'toss'. His knees buckled instantly and he was flattened to the deck by enough G-forces to turn an ordinary man into a slushy slurry. Savage just laughed.

The moment we reached open space and stopped accelerating so drastically, he sprung to his feet, appearing completely unaffected by his prior flattening, "HOW EXHILARATING! A splendid way to start our journey! Raise the sails, my friend! Captain Savage rides the seas of adventure once again!"

"Do you even know where we're going?" I asked, shaking my head in exasperation.

"Nay! That is the fun of it! We shall go where the winds take us!" Savage declared.

"Following the winds is going to be a bit harder since we're, ya know, in space," I deadpanned.

"But never impossible!" Savage would not be deterred. "Open your heart to adventure, Sean! Hear it call! We shall follow it ever-onward to unexplored lands full of plunder! Booty of both kinds!"

I resigned myself to his pace with great amusement, "Booty for you, maybe. I'm more than happy with Didi and my girls. You'll just have to settle for me playing wing-man for you this bro-trip."

Savage's booming laugh felt like it could have been heard all the way down on Earth, "Hahaha! With you as my second, this will be my most proficient outing in centuries! I can hardly wait!"

IIIII

Leaning on the ship's railing, I looked out into a metaphorical and literal ocean of stars. A seemingly infinite set of far distant lights that each represented entire worlds, entire solar systems, and perhaps even entire galaxies that I couldn't make out with the naked eye. Between them all, the void was as Endless as my Deathly lover.

And I suppose it was in a way. The void was Didi's mother, the mother of all the Endless. They were the children of Mother Night and Father Time, Night obviously being the relevant one to my current thoughts. I didn't know all that much about her, but I knew that she was the void. She was Space just as her husband was Time.

None of the Endless had very good relationships with their parents. It was the typical estrangement of cosmic, godly beings. When someone was Endless like them, even the closest of relations tended to lose touch eventually.

I didn't know much of anything about Mother Night or Father Time. There was likely a whole plot going on in the background there but I was sure even reality didn't know it fully yet. Didi certainly hadn't mentioned anything of her cosmic parents. Something I was perfectly happy to let lie. It truly didn't concern me and unless Didi brought it up, I wasn't going to press where I didn't have to.

Still, that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the beauty of space as our ship sailed through the cosmos. A million million twinkling lights watched from infinity, making sure nothing beneath the stars was ever truly alone. The darkness of the void was all-consuming but almost comforting at the same time. Clouds of gas and space dust vaster than any single solar system painted swirls of color onto the black.

Undeterred through it all, our ship sailed ever-onward. I'm sure the science behind our movement was fascinating. Solar winds, perhaps? Waves of light? An ever-domino-ing string of particles? Whatever the real reason, it worked. Savage and I sailed on unseen, seemingly impossible winds and waves — farther and farther, faster and faster onto adventure.

Of course, I had to cheat a bit to ensure we got anywhere in a timely manner. Savage hadn't thought that far ahead in his plan to abduct me for adventure. And while we could have relied on relative time dilation to ensure we came back 'on time', this trip would still have taken years if not decades — for us, at least.

Instead of mucking about and just waiting — something both Savage and I were more than capable of —, I simply distorted the fabric of the universe in front of us. A sort of pulling force to add to the sails' push. Along with the added benefit of silly things like 'space' and 'distance' warping to aid our passage.

It wasn't quite warp drive technology but the basic theory was similar. We weren't 'actually' going faster than the speed of light — even if that was already a pretty flexible rule in this reality. Instead we were riding along as I created waves and folds in the universe with my mind and magic. Sort of like a surfer catching a gnarly wave, only on an infinitely larger scale.

I didn't have any experience with this form of FTL travel. Not personally, at least. But I'd 'seen' how devices and technology accomplished it. I was simply mimicking that process with different starting components. Besides, my inexperience with this whole thing was what made it fun.

Plus, it was sailing. Even riding atop this unfamiliar medium, sailing had always held a special place in my heart. All the way back to my very first life — I 'originally' died by Truck-kun while sailing that first time. Though perhaps that should be the very first life I could remember. I'd never gotten any proof, but I somewhat doubted that my soul's eternal wander had started at Life Zero. What came before that though, I didn't have a clue.

It could have been the same as what came after. My eternally wandering soul, reincarnating from reality to reality. Only for me to encounter SOMETHING that made my soul 'reset' and start all over at Life Zero. My whole existence could be something of a recursive loop — infinite past, and infinite future — only changing by impossible chance when Didi stumbled upon my drifting soul beyond all realities themselves.

Or it could have been absolute nothingness. Life Zero could have been just that: the start of everything for me. I might never truly know… And I was mostly fine with that. Compared to what might have come before — whether that be true nothingness or simply lost memories — the existence I enjoyed now was SOMETHING. ANYTHING. It was REAL. And lingering on unknowable truths did me no good at all.

A pulse of comfort came over my soul-deep connection with Didi. She was the beginning and end of my existence in this reality. Just as she was for every soul — though even then, our connection was a bit more than special. As my anchor, she'd felt the somewhat melancholic turn my musing had taken and held me firm against the waves of my own mind.

With a sigh and a small smile, I returned the pulse of comfort with one of thanks and reassurance that I'd be fine. Then I pushed myself off the ship's railing and went to find Savage. The ship wasn't big and I quickly found him lying across a single line of rope as if it were a full hammock.

Furrowed brows stared up into the nothingness, "Are we there yet?"

"Where?" I asked, smirking slightly. "We don't actually have a destination in mind, remember?"

"Anywhere!" Savage's frustration brought his usual energy back to the fore. "Sailing is much less fun when we control the waves! Why, I dare say I'm bored! Unthinkable! Neither of us should be bored on our brotherly adventure!"

I tutted likely, "Tsk tsk, I expected more from you, Savage. Don't you know half of 'adventure' is the waiting and traveling from place to place?"

"All too well…" He sighed. "But it has been so long since I had a proper adventure of this sort. To my greatest shame!… My usual patience seems to escape me…"

"I could always open a blind portal to somewhere and we could just see where it takes us," I offered with a shrug.

A wide grin spread across Savage's face at the suggestion, "Yes! Marvelous! Perhaps the winds of adventure are merely metaphorical in this instance! We shall carve our own path, blind as it may be!"

"Fair warning, my magic might unconsciously influence the outcome more than a little bit," I said. "We shouldn't emerge inside of anything but I can't promise the portal will end up somewhere completely random."

"That is more than acceptable! What is luck without a bit of bias?! Merely chance, I say! I only hope your magic brings us to interesting times faster than we would otherwise!"

I chuckled, "You make a very good point. We'll just have to see where we end up."

"Let the bones be cast!"

"Let the dice fall where they may."

"Leave our fate up to the spirits!"

"Flip a coin for it?"

"May Lady Luck smile upon us!"

"May we live in interesting times, indeed."

We went back and forth with luck-and-fate-based proverbs a few times. Both of us grinned like fools as we 'one-upped' each other. Just having a bit of stupid fun. It was this sort of easy chemistry that got me to agree to this bro-trip. Well, that and it got me out of the bar while still maintaining my 'retirement'. No serious (world-saving or otherwise) business here. Just two immortal bros shooting the shit and reliving their 'glory days'.

Enjoying our brief bit of byplay, I cast my attention FAR, FAR into the ether. Lightyears passed in the blink of an eye before I stopped myself in the first place that felt RIGHT. I pointedly didn't look at 'where' I stopped, simply locking onto the location and opening a portal to it in front of the ship.

Propelled by solar sails, the ship sailed straight on through the portal. We felt next to nothing as we passed from one location to the next — not a single lurch or anything but a slight feeling of recalibration as if the universe was being gently reminded that we weren't in the same place anymore.

The ship appeared in orbit around an alien world. Green and blue, the planet seemed to mirror Earth in its lushness and habitability. I was more than a little confident that it was just as teeming with life as Earth.

Savage nodded in satisfaction, "A spectacular scene! We shall venture down and see what this new world has to offer us, my friend!"

"And how exactly do you plan to do that?" I asked, amused.

"Simple!" Savage declared with a grin. "I just have to… sink… the… ship…"

His grin faded as he ran into the inherent differences between this space sailing ship and the sea sailing ships he was used to, "Oh, dear."

I laughed openly at his crestfallen expression, "I think you'd best leave this part to me, Savage. I've at least landed a spaceship before. This won't be all too different, even if it does seem unintuitive."

"This is a rather unfortunate gap in my experience, isn't it?" He asked rhetorically with an awkward smile on his face.

"Here, watch closely. I'll teach you all you need to know about landing a spaceship," I offered. "And considering this is my first time with one that sails, it'll be a learning experience for us both."

I took to the helm, quickly getting a feel for how the ship handled. She was a snippy one, sensitive and practically jumping to do as I directed. She rode the force of gravity down from orbit like a dream. A strange thought, considering she shouldn't have been nearly as aerodynamic as she turned out to be.

As I brought us down, I tried to figure out just what we were getting ourselves into. The start of that was figuring out where exactly we ended up. To solve that little question, well, I simply asked the universe. Reality and Magic itself was more than willing to throw a little location ping my way.

Let's see… 'You are here'. Yes, I know that, Magic. Thank you. Now, where is 'here'? Specifically in reference to Earth and hopefully with a planet or star name to go along with it.

Ah. Well, that was just good luck. We were currently within the Vega star system. The entire system was abundant with life, having dozens of planets and more races/cultures/sentient beings than anyone could reasonably count.

It was also something of an interesting place due to its status with the Green Lantern Corps. They didn't enter the system for fear of pissing off the Orange Lantern Larfleeze. This meant the system didn't have the standard peace-keeping force that the rest of the universe enjoyed and that it attracted quite a selection of interesting events.

The planet itself was a lucky one in my mind. And quite relevant to a certain alien princess I'd met recently. Tamaran. Birthplace of Starfire of the Teen Titans and home to the rest of the Tamarean race.

Let's see, what did I know about Tamareans? Other than the fact that Starfire was a lovely young woman whose company I enjoyed very much, of course. They were quite similar to Kryptonians in their racial powerset and solar energy absorption as a form of proto-cultivation. They were a passionate people — as demonstrated by Starfire's… everything. I think they were also descended from a feline-esque species of some sort…?

So, an entire race of passionate, powerful pussycats? With connections to the ball of pure, infectious star fire that was Starfire? Honestly, I couldn't ask for a better first stop for our bro-trip.

Our space sailing ship descended through the clouds of Tamaran. As we did, Savage leaped on the ship's railing, grabbing hold of a rope and leaning over the edge with a 'savagely' wide grin on his face. He looked every part the swashbuckling sailor who was excited to be coming into port.

Feeling the many flows of energy on the planet, I directed us down toward the center of it all. Likely the capital city, if I had to guess. We came down over a city of crystal and shining silver. As soon as we were a reasonable height overhead of what seemed to be the high palace or something of similar importance, we were greeted by a welcoming entourage of Tamareans.

Several golden-skinned women straight out of an alien wet dream flew up under their own power to meet us, "Halt! State your business, outsiders!"

Savage, of course, took point for both of us, boisterously declaring his intentions, "Greetings, beautiful alien women! We come in the name of peace, adventure, and spreading our love-!"

"Your," I quickly corrected him.

Savage didn't even pause or flinch at the interruption, "Spreading MY love to your beautiful world and even more beautiful women! Unfortunately, my companion does not wish to expand his relationships at this time! Nevertheless! I'm afraid I must INSIST that you take us to your leader! HAHAHA!"

IIIII

[AN: I don't actually have any images for Desire considering the whole shapeshifter/literal embodiment of Desire thing. If you like gyarus, they're a gyaru. If you like femboys, they're a femboy. If you like futas, they're a futa. If you like big tiddy goth gfs (good taste), they're a big tiddy goth gf. Yeah, makes pinning down an exact image pretty much impossible. BUT! I will say that Desire is absolutely not intended for the harem. They're a mischief-maker/meddlesome something-in-law, not harem bait.]