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17: Hello, Magic

"I accept," Black Alice intoned gravely.

She probably put more gravitas into her acceptance than I did for my formal offer of sanctuary. But this was magic and there were certain rituals to be observed. Strangely, I didn't think Alice actually knew that. I think she was just a closet drama queen.

A proper theatre kid, even if she would likely deny it until she died. The hallmarks were there if you knew where to look. Especially with the way she came out and declared herself 'Daughter of Death'. She was just a kid — a teenager but still — saying things she thought would make her look cool.

That didn't mean I thought she was lying about being in danger. Two things could be true at the same time. As far as I could tell — which was pretty damn far — something was up with Alice on a magical level. Enough that I was more than ready to believe she was being chased by righteous wizards.

She might've been playing up her words as a sort of coping mechanism but that only added to her claims. She was truly, genuinely scared for her life. Even accepting my offer of sanctuary didn't drive that feeling from her heart.

It seemed to help though. Especially when combined with the hug Didi was giving her. She squirmed in Didi's embrace but anyone could tell she didn't really want to leave it. Didi had a way of making people feel safe and comfortable like that.

"So what's your story, kiddo?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah~! What's gotcha on the run~?" Harley added, practically hopping in place.

"Down, Harley," Ivy chided with amusement.

"Need me to kill anyone?" Jason offered, just to be sure.

"Jason! No!" Two guesses for who said that…

"Jason, yes!"

"You've got a wonderful wibbleddytop going on…" Delirium said somberly. Her tone turned thoughtful and considerate, "Is it contagious~?"

"W-Wha-…?" Alice was very obviously overwhelmed by the sudden show of warmth from everyone in the bar.

"There, there, little one," Didi cooed. "Tell us what's wrong and how we can fix it for you."

With Didi's arms still wrapped around her and her soothing voice in Alice's ear, she recovered quickly enough. If tears welled up in her eyes, none of us said anything. Alice gave a subtle sniffle as she shook her head to stop the tears from falling.

Then immediately, she turned a spunky glare onto me, "I'm not a kid!"

Walking over to her, I patted her head, "Of course, you're not. You just need to learn to use your words if you want us to have any idea of what's going on."

She glared and growled with all the power of a wronged teenage girl. Didi thought it was hilarious if her giggles were anything to go off of. Alice blushed and averted her eyes from mine. Even then, she leaned slightly more into Didi's hug.

"… It's stupid," Alice muttered softly. "So freaking stupid…" Her voice rose in anger and frustration, "I didn't do anything wrong! It's not fair! Why are they after me?! Why can't they leave me alone?!"

"Wow, that's a lot of anger," Delirium said, surprisingly sane for once. "May I?"

A few hot tears drew tracks in Alice's eyeliner, "W-What…?"

Didi gave her sister a nod and Delirium didn't wait to explain. She just took a great big breath. The lights flickered ever-so-slightly and Alice calmed down between one instant and the next. She was left staring at Delirium in open shock.

"Weeeee~!" Delirium giggled, back to her not-so-lucid self. "Is that better~?"

"What the Hell-!" Alice began.

Didi interrupted her, "Language, Alice. There's no need for words like that, especially not with your new aunt."

Alice ducked her head in shame, "… What did you do?"

Delirium cocked her head to the side, "Breathe~? I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Ms. Alice-Who-Follows-the-Black-Rabbit."

Confusion crossed Alice's face. For a moment, she concentrated on something. The natural magic in the air shifted. Then… nothing happened.

Alice's confusion only increased, "Why can't I borrow your magic?"

Delirium's cocked head reversed, doing the same thing on the other side, "Magic~? Why would I need to use magic~?"

"Alright, I think we all need to sit down and have an actual explanation before things get more complicated than they need to be," I interrupted before Alice could confuse herself even more.

"Good idea, Dear," Didi nodded. "Come along, little one. Let's hear your story."

Didi led Alice by the hand. As if her world had been turned on its head, Alice followed in a slight daze. The rest of us weren't far behind. Alice settled onto a stool at the bar. She gripped Didi's hand tightly as if to keep her from leaving and draw support from her at the same time. The others found seats of their own and I ended up as the only one behind the bar.

"Looks like drinks and introductions are in order," I said casually.

Alice perked up at that until Didi fixed her with a stern look, "Non-alcoholic."

Alice pouted-… No, she sulked, "… Fine. Just give me a damn coke."

"Name's Sean. Nice to meet you, Alice," I introduced myself as I went about making drinks for everyone. "The Dead End here is my place and I'm Death's Hand on the side."

Alice eyed me suspiciously, "Bullshit."

I chuckled, "The 'Death's Hand' business? I assure you, that's completely true. If anything, I'm probably underselling it."

"Perhaps my introduction will put your doubts to rest," Didi soothed. "I am Death of the Endless. But you can call me Didi, little one."

Alice's mouth opened and closed, trying and failing to form words out of thin air, "I-… Wha-…? No-… That's-…"

"And I'm Didi's sister~!" Delirium chimed cheerfully. "Delirium~! But you can call me Del~!"

"You probably recognize the rest," I said. "Poison Ivy. Harley Quinn. Batgirl. The big guy is Red Hood. Now, let's get to the good part. What's your dealio, kiddo?"

Alice visibly shuddered with cringe before that spunky glare of hers returned, "I'm not a kid. I am Black Alice, Daughter of Death-! Eep!"

Alice suddenly squeaked as the identities of her audience caught up to her. She glanced nervously at Didi. Didi just nodded permissibly.

"Go ahead, Alice. I have no issue with you using my name. It's true now, after all."

"R-Right," Alice stuttered, quickly regaining her confidence from Didi's encouraging eyes. "… I have magic. I don't know how I got it. I just woke up with it after some… incidents…"

Didi hugged her as she stalled mid-explanation, "They loved you very much, Alice. Your parents wanted nothing more than to watch you grow and bloom into a beautiful flower. We talked, you know? When I walked them to their eternities. They're watching over you as best they can. And they're oh-so-glad you didn't succeed in joining them yet. Live, Alice. For them. For yourself. For me."

A single choked sob tore itself from Alice's throat, "It's… It's just not fair. Y-You're not fair…! I-I… should hate you…"

"I know, little one," Didi cooed as softly as a warm blanket. "I know. Better than you could possibly imagine. I can be so cruel."

"H-How do you deal with that…?" Alice asked, her voice small and vulnerable.

"By trying to be kind. Death is just as much a kindness as a cruelness. I'm there for everyone as they pass. A shoulder to cry on. An old friend to simply talk to. A sense of closure and finality," Didi explained, softly but not sadly. "And by living. I am just as much Life as I am Death. Both can be unfair. But both can also be so beautiful and necessary. For each other, for ourselves, we Live and Die because we ARE. And that's something special beyond words."

"C-Can… Can I see them?" Alice sniffled.

"No, my child. You would just hurt yourself and them in the process," Didi gently refused. "You'd have to rip them from eternity. No matter the outcome — the momentary good it might do —, that's not a kindness."

Burying her face in Didi's shoulder, Alice cried. Didi held her and she let it all out into Death's embrace. Delirium began to hum a song, nonsensical but hauntingly beautiful. The rest of us gave Alice the time she needed to come to terms with her loss.

Eventually, she fortified herself with a deep, shuddering breath. Alice raised her head from Didi's shoulder. Puffy, red eyes and black-streaked liner glared at me as if daring me to test her. I wasn't nearly so callous. I just slid her drink in front of her, pointed discreetly at a bottle on the shelf behind me, and winked.

Alice's eyes widened and the first hint of a smile pulled at her lips, "… Thanks."

"Don't mention it," I said. My eyes added something more, 'Seriously, don't mention it. Didi would kill me.'

I knew I wasn't fooling Didi with any of this but it made Alice giggle. It was a brief giggle but one that was so genuine she surprised herself with it. Didi would forgive me for giving our new daughter a bit of liquid courage to finish the rest of her story.

The rest of the drinks went out and Alice finally continued, "Like I said, I don't know how. Or why. But I'm magic now. I can borrow magic. Doesn't matter who it comes from. And I'm pretty sure it goes back to normal after I'm done. But these… wizards… seem to think I'm gonna destroy the world or something.

"I've kinda been doing a bit of minor villainy here and there-…"

"Woooo~! Villainy~!" Harley cheered, abruptly interrupting Alice.

Alice just snorted a laugh, a bit more of the red in her eyes fading, "Yeah, I tried to steal a diamond from the Riddler. Didn't go so well. He captured me and a few others. But we escaped pretty quickly."

"Good," Didi nodded. "I would hate to have to have words with Edward."

"We'll still ask him politely to apologize the next time he comes in," I decided.

Alice looked at us in confusion. She obviously wasn't clued in about the Dead End. When she looked around at the others, she just received a chorus of nods, even from the heroes.

"Riddler can be troubled at times but he's not a bad man," Ivy explained.

Jason chuckled, "As far as villains go in Gotham, he's practically a saint."

A strange look entered Alice's eyes, "… Weird." She grunted, "Anyway, I found out about the wizards through one of the others captured with me. A guy named Catman. I guess he was magic or something 'cause I could take his powers. And he said I'd be messing with the magic network or some junk. So they sicced the freaking magic police on me."

Harley was trying very hard to stifle her giggles, "Catman? Catman? Oh, God, really? Frickin' Catman~?!"

"Selina's going to have a FIT when she finds out about him," Ivy said, amusement dancing in her eyes.

"So how do your powers work?" Barbara asked Alice.

"I dunno," Alice shrugged. "They just do. I get the costumes of whoever I'm taking from though."

I hummed, "Hmm… No stealing from Zatanna. She's off-limits for you, young lady. No daughter of mine is going to be dressing like that until she's at least 21. I mean, that bodysuit is bad enough but does she really need the fishnets?"

"What the Hell, man?! Don't be weird!" Alice glared at me.

"No, he's right," Barbara said. "Her costume really is stupidly sexy."

Jason scoffed, "More like Zatanna as a whole is stupidly sexy."

"Little one?" Didi's voice was firm. "Can I trust you to dress yourself appropriately if you must use Zatanna's powers?"

"I-!" Alice started all worked up. She immediately faltered when she looked into Didi's eyes, "… Yeah… Yeah, I'll be careful."

Didi's smile told Alice and everyone else that she'd made the right choice, "Thank you, little one. I just don't want you to have to grow up too fast. I realize Life hasn't been kind to you — that I haven't been kind to you… — but you should still be able to enjoy it without others intruding."

"Yeah, little Alice," I smirked. From her widening eyes, she knew something else was coming. "Good girls listen to their new adopted parents."

Alice's glare was as fierce as I'd ever seen. From a teenager, at least, "I will murder you."

I just shrugged, "Eh, Didi will just bring me back. I've been dead more times than you can count. One more won't hurt."

Didi nodded, "It's true. I won't let my Sean get away from me so easily."

Alice huffed, "I don't know why someone as awesome as Didi is with a di-…" She stopped herself, glancing at Didi, "… A jerk like you."

Didi gave a small, sweet smile, complete with a minute blush, "Sean has a way of growing on people."

"God, tell me about it…" Barbara groaned.

I pretended to buff my nails on my shirt, "I'm pretty awesome in my own right. Stick around, kiddo. You might learn something."

That combined with Barbara's groan was enough to send Harley over the edge. Like a catalyst, the rest of the group burst into laughter along with her. I'm pretty sure Ivy was laughing at me in particular and Jason was laughing at Barbara. Delirium was just laughing to laugh, probably getting high on the sympathetic emotions.

Alice buried her head in her hands, "This is my life now… At least, I met Death. She's cool…"

Didi patted her on the shoulder but judging by her smile, she was enjoying this just as much as the rest of us. I joined the others with a chuckle. In the middle of our laughing fit, the door to the Dead End opened.

Two women stepped through it into the bar. One was statuesque, muscled, and… covered in fur. She even had a pair of cat ears on either side of the top of her head. The fur was a golden tan like sunbaked grass, with a pattern of spots like a cheetah. Which made her identity kind of obvious.

The other woman was shorter but she didn't hold herself with any less confidence than the first. Her costume was strange, with a texture that almost looked like what you would find on leaves or petals. It was a brilliant magenta hue and though it was skin-tight, it covered almost her entire body.

The two women laid eyes on us. They froze in place. And just as suddenly as they had entered, they turned right back around and left. Our group was left blinking in surprise as our laughter died down.

"Huh… Wonder what Cheetah was doing here-…" Barbara wondered before being interrupted by another visitor stepping into the Dead End.

This visitor was much less pleasant. Both to look at and in his mannerisms. He was a wretched-looking old man, long past his time, and only kept going through evil spite. In fact, I could feel him marked for Death. Didi just hadn't found him yet. And he came right to her.

"I will have whatever power this Dead End hides! Ahahahahahaha!"

"Felix Faust… I've been looking everywhere for you," Didi said, adding a sense of menace to her soft tone that was unmatched. "Thank you for making this so much easier for me…"

She didn't even stand up. Yet we all saw the specter of Death — the one she saved for 'problem children' — form behind Didi. Including Faust. All the blood drained from his face like the trough before a tidal wave. His already haunted appearance became tortured and terrified.

"No, no, no, leave me, Grim Reaper! Nooooooo~!"

Didi laid final claim to Faust's eternal soul. In an instant, he withered and dissolved to dust. There was no chance to escape. Not for someone Didi had marked as a 'problem child'.

"So fucking cool…" Alice muttered in breathless awe.

Barbara sighed, "I don't think I'll ever get used to being friends with Death."

A few moments later, the first two visitors came back into the bar. They were accompanied by two others. A man straight out of a 1950s film noir detective movie and a young boy who was more than he seemed at first glance. All four of them entered awkwardly, almost as if they felt obligated to or resigned to their fate. making sure to step around the pile of dust where Faust just met his final demise.

The detective-looking one took off his hat respectfully, "Uh, 'morning, Lady Death, Lady Delirium."

Delirium giggled and Didi rolled her eyes, "There's no need for formalities, Doctor Occult. Call me Didi. Like always. I assume you're here for the little one?"

The good 'doctor' nodded slowly, "We are… If'n ya don't mind too much, we'd like to get a better look at her situation. We're hoping to be able to do something about the issues she's causin'."

Didi's expression grew sharp for a moment, "I hope you don't plan to do anything… final. I would have to vigorously protest if you planned on giving my new daughter her long rest."

Doctor Occult paled, "N-No, Ma'am. Definitely ain't planning something like that."

Narrowed eyes showed that Didi wasn't convinced, "Good. I would be… quite cross… with a plan like that."

"Ah, fuck…" Cheetah to herself.

"Hooo~?" The young boy — Klarion, I think — seemed more intrigued and amused than worried. "An adopted Daughter of Death? Fascinating…"

"I believe Black Alice is in good hands now, Doctor Occult," The final member — the only one I wasn't familiar with — said slowly. "Perhaps we should… leave."

Doctor Occult sighed, "Nah. I still wanna get a look at what we're dealing with here. We've just gotta reevaluate our priorities."

"Well, I'm sure Lady Death is more than capable of keeping our young target from dooming magic and the universe. Perhaps she can even fix the White Gate herself," Klarion suggested with a smirk.

"The White Gate~?" Delirium asked, perking up. "Hey~! Isn't that supposed to be my responsibility~?"

"It is, Lady Delirium," Doctor Occult swallowed hard. "You keep it closed for all of us and keep out the Madness that lurks on the other side. But we're worried Black Alice is disrupting our ability to protect the Gate on your behalf."

"Well that's not very nice," Delirium pouted, playful as a sea otter without the necrophilia bits. "Stop it, new niece~!"

Alice gaped at her, "Wha-?! I'm not doing anything! That's bullshit! I don't even know what the 'White' fucking 'Gate' is!"

Reaching across the bar, I laid a hand on Alice's arm and just shook my head, "You don't want to go there. That way lies Madness."

"Literally~!" Delirium and Harley chimed at the same time, sharing a pair of almost deranged grins.

Doctor Occult shifted awkwardly, "Right… Anyway, we still gotta check out Miss Alice, at least. Maybe we can do something for her even if we are leaving her in your care, Lady Didi."

"Hmm…" Didi hummed. "What do you think, little one?"

Alice eyed the magicians suspiciously, "Could they help me control my powers?"

"I'm sure they'll do the best they can. Isn't that right?" Didi didn't say it like a question.

She was met with a chorus of nods from the magicians, some quicker and more nervous than others. Klarion hid a fit of childish giggles behind his hand. Alice looked at Didi for confirmation. Didi just nodded encouragingly. In the end, the decision was up to Alice.

"… Alright," She said eventually with a begrudging growl. "But don't try anything! I'll be watching you! And don't think I couldn't kill you where you stand!"

With a flash of something that wasn't quite light, Alice exercised her powers. Her outfit shifted, cycling through imitations of all the magicians there. The trenchcoat and hat of Doctor Occult. The strange costume of the yet unknown hero. Klarion's useless little cape. And finally, a pair of cat ears sprouted atop her head as she borrowed Cheetah's curse.

I couldn't help but laugh, "Aww~ Don't you make such a cute little kitty~ Yes, you do~ Yes, you do~"

Alice squeaked at my baby talk, "S-Shut up! Shit, how do I turn this off?!"

She faded back to normal after a few moments. Cheetah sighed, "I wish it was that easy…"

"Sean, Dear?" Didi asked. "Would you see to Cheetah while I oversee our guests' efforts with the little one?"

"Sure. I don't mind," I shrugged.

Cheetah was surprised but seemed resigned to disappointment, "If you want. I doubt you'll be able to do anything though. My curse was laid upon me by a god."

Walking around the bar to approach her, I waved dismissively, "Weak stuff. Gods are a dime a dozen. Talk to me when you've been cursed by a Great Old One or better."

Doctor Occult did something similar, approaching Alice while holding his hands in clear view to appear non-threatening. Once he settled a respectable distance from Alice, he grunted gruffly, "Witch-Boy! C'mere!"

"Coming~!" Klarion singsonged. I focused on Cheetah while the pair of magicians began their diagnostics on Alice's power.

"You really think you can do something for me?" The beautiful, cat-like woman asked, hope creeping into her voice despite her initial reservations.

"The question isn't if I can," I said casually. "It's what you want me to do. Do you want me to completely remove the curse? I can do that easily. If you want to make it something you can control, I'll have to get a bit tricky. But that's still more than possible."

Cheetah blinked in shock, looking moments away from outright gaping at me, "How…?"

I focused my senses on Cheetah and her soul. At the same time, I absently said, "Oh, I don't think I've introduced myself. Nice to meet you, Cheetah. I'm Sean Caine. Didi's Hand."

Her mind visibly stuttered to catch up to that information, "Death's… Hand…? Oh… Yeah, that would do it."

"It would, wouldn't it?" I chuckled.

She didn't say anything more, simply falling silent in awe. I hummed as I stared into her soul. There, I could see the touch of a god. Even if there wasn't physical evidence of it, that sort of thing left a mark.

It was a potent mark, for sure. The god had touched Cheetah personally. She'd been directly molded by his divinity. The god himself was one of nature. His remnants felt like Ivy in that sense but so different in every other way. For one, the aura he left behind was so goddamn (heh) masculine it was almost toxic. Not in the modern 'toxic masculinity' sense of the word. Toxic as in it should have mind-broken any woman the god came into contact with.

He seemed like a fun guy. Still, I was here to undo his work. Work that I was only now realizing was a god's attempt at making himself a catgirl waifu. Seriously, I'd have to invite this guy around for a drink to make sure he knew there were no hard feelings.

"Got it," I nodded. "So what do you want from this? To be rid of the curse entirely or to control it for yourself?"

Cheetah paused to consider my question, still slightly in disbelief. At least her mind was working now, "I think… I'd rather control the curse. There are certain… advantages to it that I would hate to lose if I don't have to."

"Good choice. One voluntary catgirl transformation coming right up," I smirked.

Though a relatively rare occurrence even for me, I'd spent enough time around catgirls to know that the quivering of Cheetah's ears and the flicks of her tail were her version of a blush.

If she wanted me to get rid of her curse entirely, it would be as easy as taking hold of it and casting 'Death'. Since she wanted something a bit different, I had to take a more nuanced approach. I had just the spell.

It was something I developed myself when I was in a world flush with Gods, Devils, and a reality-wide tendency toward improbably perfect breasts. That last part wasn't important at the moment, I just still thought it was an odd 'rule'. With so many 'higher' beings running around, I made sure to develop certain countermeasures while I was there. This spell was one of those.

It was designed specifically for divine spells, boons, and curses. But its purpose wasn't to fight them directly. Instead, this spell wormed its way into the divine constructs that made up those phenomena and corrupted them. It twisted them back on their caster. In this case, it would give Cheetah the keys to her curse rather than leave them in the hands of the — admittedly cool — god who cursed her.

Another characteristic of that reality was its malleable magic. Thanks to that, the spell was relatively simple to cast. I didn't need special materials or a specialized ritual. Just a few million calculations and a quantifiable truckload of power.

Thankfully, both were within my reach with a bit of effort. I started the initial calculations. Now, obviously, doing each calculation manually was impossible. So the initial calculations acted as tools that automated the rest of the process. Calculations calculated more calculations. The spell cascaded into existence after that.

There wasn't anything as dramatic as a flash of magical light to signify the spell. Just a noticeable drain while it was active and a quiet ding when it was done. I wasn't so much of an idiot that I would give away a spell that was made to potentially be used in a fight with a god.

"There you go. Good as-… well, better than new."

"That's… it…?" Cheetah asked in open shock.

I nodded, "That's it. You'll have to get a feel for the process yourself but you should be able to change between this and your human form at will like any other shifter."

"I-…" Cheetah trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Satisfied with a job well done, I turned back to the others and saw everyone staring at me, "What?"

"'What?' Seriously?" Barbara huffed. "That's all you have to say?"

"Yes…? Was it that noticeable?"

I was met with blank-faced nods and Harley said, "Uh, Gothboy? Even I felt that."

Alice looked at me with her face screwed up in a confused grimace, "Dude. What the Hell was that?"

"Well, Cheetah's not cursed anymore," I shrugged. "Anyway, how's it going with little Miss Mouthy?"

She treated me with a 'menacing' growl and Doctor Occult just sighed, "It's about what we thought it'd be."

"She's contracted with a Demon," Klarion explained further. "Not on purpose. But it seems to have latched onto her prayer for help during her time of need. What's interesting is which Demon it is…"

"Valefar," Doctor Occult snarled.

I blinked, "Oh, that's easy then. Didi, do you want to take care of this one or should I?"

"I've only had Alice for 30 minutes but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone here and then myself," Didi said in a serious deadpan. "I believe Valefar counts as 'anything'."

The effect of her words was instantaneous. Doctor Occult — a fully grown, hardened detective — hung his head as if resigned to defeat. The still unknown fourth magician stared at Didi in open-mouthed horror. Klarion sighed and seemed to make peace with himself rather quickly. Cheetah just groaned.

"Dammit. And I just found a way to take a nice hot bath without pulling my fucking fur out…"

Didi smirked at the effect of her joke, "Thankfully, it's much simpler to just kill a Demon than it is to figure out a way to kill myself."

Cheetah groaned again, this time for a different reason. Klarion blinked and then laughed as he realized she was joking. The fourth magician still stared at Didi in horror. Doctor Occult collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut. He sat down on the floor, put his head in his hands, and bemoaned the stress of his job to himself, looking nearly on the verge of tears.

Alice stared at Didi in worshipful awe, "God, you're so freaking cool."

Didi ignored her for a moment as she exercised her authority. For the briefest of moments, a portal to Hell was opened in the Dead End. Then Valefar, Demon Duke of Hell, was dragged through it, quite literally kicking and screaming. Didi didn't even give him time to adjust to his new surroundings. One moment, he was alive. The next, he was Dead as a doornail, evaporating into Hellfire.

"So. Freaking. Cool…" Alice repeated.

Didi gathered the lingering Hellfire with a few delicate plucks of her fingertips. Once she had enough, she molded it all into a ball. That ball she then inlaid over Alice's soul. I saw the intricacies of what she did. The others just saw a ball of literal Hellfire sink into Alice's chest.

Didi nodded, satisfied with herself, "There we are. All better, little one. No more Demon trying to spread chaos through you and you should find it much easier to control your powers now."

Alice cycled through a couple of different magical powers as easily as blinking. Doctor Occult, Shazam, Enchantress, even going up to what I could only guess was the goddess Hecate. I rolled my eyes. Children. They didn't give a single thought to the consequences of their impulsive actions. It seemed I might have to prepare the Dead End for divine visitors after all of this…

Once she set herself back to normal, Alice threw herself into Didi's arms, "You're awesome, Didi! I freaking love you!"

"There, there, little one. It was the least I could do," Didi returned the embrace, patting Alice's back.

"So…" Klarion smirked at Doctor Occult. "I guess that's that taken care of."

Doctor Occult sighed, sounding just so defeated, "… I need to pour a drink. Or three."

"You do realize this is a bar, right?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He blinked, "Huh… What're ya servin', Barkeep?"

I slapped him on the shoulder in commiseration, "Whatever you need, big guy. Whatever you need. The first one's on the house. As an apology for the trouble my newly adopted daughter caused you. Or you could pay me with stories and I'll wave the costs altogether."

I received a chuckle in reply, "I've got a few yarns to spin. Let me tell ya about the time I turned a Nazi broad back to the side of everything right and good in the world."

"A story in the Dead End from someone who isn't Sean. What a rare treat," Ivy chuckled.

"I kinda thought you had a monopoly on stories told here, Sean," Jason commented.

"The world ceased making sense a few months ago but this is a new one," Barbara deadpanned.

Chuckling to himself, Doctor Occult settled in at the bar. I poured him a few good fingers of whiskey and his story began with a gruff voice, "I knew the dame was trouble the moment she walked into my office…"

"Wooo~! Freakin' classic~!" Harley cheered.

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