Goblin Slayer: Self Insert

Chapter 1

Starting New Life as an Adventurer

I reached the Guild before the afternoon.

Although I reached the Water town in the morning, it still took some time to rent a place to crash. The houses in the town were more than a bit above my budget and the tavern in the guild was also quite expensive if I had to live for a large amount of time.

On the contrary, it was quite cheap to rent the tavern for small periods of time like for 2 or 3 days. After all, adventurers don't stay in one place for a long period of time in this time and era.

Now I could have lived there for a few days, and find a place to rent in the meanwhile. But I didn't want to take the chances.

The adventurers of this time are not good persons. There are bound to be some bad apples in the bunch and I wasn't going to leave my precious belonging just where they could steal them. I could cast my protection spells on my belongings but it would only make them think that my belongings had something valuable. And they would try to steal it all the more.

Moreover, I didn't want to pay extra. While the tavern would be cheap, it would still be expensive compared to renting a room for myself. At least, that's what I got from picking the brains of the traveling caravan that was coming here.

Till now I hadn't needed that much amount of money but I know I could need it in the future. It was better to start saving now than regretting it later. Moreover, having some money and not need it is better than not having it and need it. And, some money lying around never hurts someone.

So, in the end, I decided to rent a room in one of the houses on the farms which were on the outskirt of the town. I admit I got the idea from the canon's Goblin Slayer himself. Moreover, the rent in the proper city would be quite expensive compared to that.

With that decided, I got out of the town and went to nearby settlements.

Most people weren't very forthcoming when I introduced myself as an adventurer.

Truthfully, I wasn't surprised.

They really shouldn't.

Adventurers are a rowdy bunch, a necessary evil compared to the monsters.

They were thugs in simple terms. You don't know which one is good and which one is bad by simply looking at them. Truthfully most were bad sorts and the good ones were far and few in between. The good adventurers suffered from a bad reputation due to this.

'Maybe by the time canon starts their reputation will also change' I mused.

I was quite surprised that the adventurers already had a bad reputation even if the Guild was started in my time, in front of my eyes. Hell, It has been only a little more than half a decade since its inception.

I tried to give my father advice on how to properly induct adventurers into the Guild and make laws but he was a stubborn bastard. Only in the next few months, I was proven right.

Still, my father continued to ignore my advice. I hated all the nobles who filled my father's head with their nonsense. And I hated my father for being so gullible.

Though in the end, I applied some cunning and was able to see him the light through some of the good nobles from whom my father listens. Now though, I can't do jackshit about it. Fortunately for me, I always planned to leave that place.

I hated the Capital – Constant whining of nobles wanting something or other; cunning council who liked to play games even if the lives of people were at stake. Maidens and courtesans ready at the back of your call. There was no adventure. There was no thrill….

Oh, who am I kidding? I loved that place. It was everything I ever wanted. I never wanted to leave that place.

But like the Norse god, Loki, I was discarded for my brother by the King though I was sure that I was his son and not some bastard considering I looked like him. I was also a little younger than my brother by 5 minutes. He will now become the King of this country after my father passes away. And I do hope he gets there as soon as possible by dying a gruesome death.

I really hated that son of a bitch. Due to him, my mother, one of the few things which were good in this fucked up world; the one who I could rely on, passed away a few months ago.

She taught me all the politics from ground zero. She taught me how to word my sentences while speaking to nobles; she taught me how to get my way from the people. She even taught me how to get my way from my father. She taught me so many things that I can't even tell. And that bastard took her away from me, one of the few things which were precious to me.

I told him that getting her pregnant while she was sick was bad but did he listen? No, of course, not. That bastard never listens. She passed away birthing my youngest sister.

And what does the king do? He marries a noblewoman, not a month after her death. Obviously, I flipped out and thus, here I am.

My only regret is that I won't be able to meet my sister considering the king forbade me from visiting her, ever.

I really pity my sister. She would never know her fun brother considering my older brother is a stick-in-the-mud type of guy. I think I even remember reading something about a princess running away from the capital in the canon, though I can't be sure, considering it's been more than a decade since I read anything about this fictional world. What I wouldn't give to read some wiki pages.

Well enough of my past. Back to the present,

I found the place in the late morning after spending a few hours going to each and every house and asking them if they would consider renting the place.

Thankfully, I only had an old ugly trunk to carry otherwise I would have gotten tired of carrying around my things. The old trunk was just a cover to protect my belongings from thieves. Nobody would ever think that an old trunk would contain thousands of gold coins' worth of material.

My trunk alone would be worth a few hundred gold coins as it had space expansion runes on it done by yours truly. With the runes, I could keep 5 times the amount, a simple trunk would carry. Sometimes, it was better to hide the expensive things in plain sight. No one would think that it contains a fortune worth of things in it.

The trunk actually contained my armor, weapons, and a few other things. They were the only thing I was allowed to take other than my clothes. I hid my royal clothes and my savings in the secret compartment just in case it was stolen.

I don't need my royal clothes now but you never know when you would need to impress someone. And as an exiled prince, I still have enough royalty to command some masses and even some minor nobles. Hell, I could even command some nobles, though they would definitely be reluctant to follow any of my orders. I will probably sell the clothes when my growth spurt will make them unusable.

Thankfully, the runes were covered with paint so that no one suspects anything. With no protection spell on it, the trunk appeared to be a normal trunk albeit on the cheap side.

Still, the trunk was far from the ultimate model, I dreamt of having.

'I will need to experiment with it to make it blood locked and maybe feather-light too' I mused stifling a grimace at having to walk while carrying the trunk. While it may have expansive runes, it did nothing for decreasing the weight.

Anyway, the house, I rented was a single-story house made of woods just like every other house outside the cities and towns. Only the buildings inside the walls are made of concrete.

This is done as a precaution all over the country in case of invasion or war. That way, the cost of building it back is significantly reduced once the conflict is over as forests are aplenty in this time and era.

Anyway, the owner of the house was a middle-aged man. He took a look at me and just nodded when I asked for a room although he raised an eyebrow as if asking me if I was stupid when I told him that I was an adventurer.

Well, I didn't want to lie to get the lodgings.

Consider this – If somehow the owner gets to know about me being an adventurer after some time, it would have created a problem for both of us as he would have undoubtedly asked me to move out. That's why I didn't lie. That's why I didn't lie to him as I didn't want to lose the only place that agreed to house me.

Still, he agreed to give me a spare room in exchange for rent, at the end, which is all that matters. I didn't wait for a second and instantly agreed.

I learned that he had the surrounding lands as farms on which he grew crops. He also had a scoop of chickens and a few cows as an extra income source.

We decided the rent to be 2 Gold coins per month for the lodging after a little bargaining, which was quite cheaper than everyone else, even the tavern.

I learned the reason for cheap rent why when I saw the room.

My room was on the 1st floor, full of dirt. It looked like it wasn't cleaned in years. There wasn't even a kitchen in the room. Still, it wasn't a problem. With my job, I wouldn't be able to afford to make my own food. I would have to eat in the taverns except for the days when I would be free.

I put my things in the room and got out after eating a little bit of left up salted meat from the morning.

With lunch eaten, a full stomach, and a place to crash, I started walking towards the town for my main objective.

It was an old town built on the ruins of older ruins a few decades ago. It was named Water Town as the town was built on an island surrounded by the river. It was connected to the mainland with a bridge.

The population has yet to cross halfway through the benchmark to become a city otherwise it would have been known as Water City. By my calculation, the capital is at least 10 times its size.

The Adventure Guild here was just next to the town gate. The shops for armory and taverns were also quite near. It was quite clever of them to put all the ruffians away from the main city. That way the townspeople would not interact with the 'rowdy' adventurers, any more than it was necessary.

The Guild was adequate but it was still quite smaller than the capital's Adventure Guild. It had an administrative office, tavern, and an inn. But the similarity to the canon ended there. From what I remembered, which was not a lot, it should have been built of white stone which would have lent it an air of tranquility. It should have actually looked like it could have been a bank. But it was made of simple concrete and no one would mistake it for a bank.

'Maybe the changes will be due to Sword Maiden' I mused.

I totally didn't come to this place to bang Sword maiden. This town was just close to the capital. Well, at least it is what I tell myself to convince me that I am not a dude whose sole motive is to bang chicks. Moreover, she will still be a preteen by my calculations. And I had a policy to never fuck a girl who is younger than 16.

Well, truthfully that's not much considering I have never fucked a girl in this life.

In this time and era, there are brothels in every town and I was from the capital where the quality and quantity of whores and prostitutes are quite a bit good. With the average life expectancy to be in the early '20s, the people don't care about the diseases. Moreover, if they get it, they can get healed with magic.

I didn't want to take the chances. Trust me, I didn't have any shortness of girls willing to do it with me but I didn't do it. With my luck, I could just imagine encountering a non-curable sex disease.

That doesn't mean that I was inexperienced. There were other ways to get pleasure.

You wouldn't believe but there was this girl who did things with her tongue that nobody else could. And another girl who had enormous breasts and could give one hell of a Boobjob. Then there was this girl who gave the best massages.

I cursed my father once again, for exiling me away from all those pleasures.

'Well I can't change the past' I thought bitterly.

Moreover, it isn't like I could find those things in other places. Every minor town has at least one brothel. Some major towns even had more than 1. And I am sure, I could find one of my standards here too. And with adventurer guild established, there isn't any chance that a brothel isn't' here.

But not now,

'Business before pleasure' is my motto.

And that brings us to the present.