❈—03:: Men Plan, Fate Laughs

I look Naruto right in the eyes. "You have to beat Sakura."

"What?" Naruto screams. "What kinda condition is that, you bastard?"

I shrug casually. "I already know that I can beat you," I say. "The fact that you never won a single spar against me in The Academy is all the proof I need."

Naruto begins to disagree, but I speak over him.

"But I need to know that you're not the weakest member of this team. So, here's your chance; beat Sakura and I'll let you be team leader."

A cocktail of rage, anguish, confusion and deliberation stirs in Naruto at my words and his face shows it.

My face, on the other hand, shows none of the smug satisfaction I feel.

What an idiot. He hasn't even caught on that I just told him that I'll let him be team leader, clearly implying that I have authority over him and the position.

My plan is rather simple; I want Naruto to give up.

For all his flaws, the boy is preternaturally persistent. If he sets his mind to something, he pushes himself however hard and far he needs to to get it. And while that's a generally positive trait for a ninja to have, I know that in this situation, it's simply going to make the blonde idiot a thorn in my side.

If I take up the position of team leader, Naruto will undoubtedly challenge me for it. If I turn him down, he'll see it as me being scared to fight him.

On the other hand, if I accept and beat him, he'll simply challenge me again. And again. And again. And again... on and on, until he either grabs a lucky win, or I refuse his challenges, which will simply lead back to him saying I'm scared to fight him cause I know he'll win.

He's persistent and an idiot, a lethal combination of things to be.

Since that sounds maddening and like way more trouble than it's worth, I've decided to bypass it all by making Naruto give up the position himself. And I'm going to do that by giving him an opponent that I know he'll never fight.

Not even to one-up me.

Naruto looks torn, his fists clenching and unclenching as his angry, frustrated eyes dart between Sakura and I.

I almost snort in genuine amusement; he looks so ridiculous, standing there and 'suffering' such great emotional turmoil over something so... low stakes.

Sakura, quiet until now, finally speaks.

"Um... Sasuke, are you sure about this? I mean..." she hesitates, voice laced with traces of trepidation.

Trepidation. She's feeling trepidation. At fighting Naruto.

Pathetic.

Unfortunately, I can't have Sakura being anything but resolute right now, because if Naruto realizes that the girl I just challenged him to fight may not even want to fight him, my plan may very well be lost.

"Do this and I'll eat lunch with you," I say.

Sakura freezes, wide, green eyes staring at me.

"What?" she whispers, voice virtually dripping with reluctant hope.

"Beat him and I'll eat lunch with you," I repeat.

Sakura stares at me with wide eyes for several seconds, then slowly, her face bursts into a happy, dazzling smile.

There, I think. Problem solved. And all it will cost me is having to sit and ignore her yammer on for a half-hour or so.

Before I can pat myself on the back though, Naruto screams; "You bastard!"

Oh, right. I just agreed to go on a 'date' with Sakura in front of Naruto.

How did I not think about what that would mean?

I turn to see a raging Naruto rushing at me, fist drawn back, and I'm already moving to counter, accepting that I'll need to fight him after all, when, with a flash of pink hair and fiery green eyes, Sakura rushes past me and sends Naruto flying back with a solid punch to the jaw.

"Don't you dare go near him, Naruto," Sakura says, voice heavy with more resolution than I've ever heard from her before. "I'm your opponent."

Flat on his back on the hard concrete floor of The Academy's rooftop and with a hand pressed against his bruising jaw, Naruto stares at Sakura like he's never seen her before.

"What?" Naruto gapes, mouth open like a drowning fish. "Sakura, you're going to fight me just to go on a date with... with him?"

Sakura looks at the boy like he's a complete idiot. "Yes," she says, then, to my surprise, stops and considers it.

"But you know what?" she adds. "It's not just that; I'm also going to fight you because I would rather quit being a kunoichi than to have you as my team leader. So, get up and fight."

Naruto stares at her, mouth still agape.

To be fair, I'm staring too; this has gone in a direction that I hadn't anticipated and I'm not quite sure what to do now.

Sakura isn't actually supposed to challenge Naruto, I'm supposed to do that. Sakura's supposed to support me, and Naruto was supposed to back down when he saw that we were united and fighting Sakura would jeopardize whatever hope of a relationship he has with the girl.

With Sakura now being the one issuing the challenge though, Naruto isn't going to back down. His stupid bullheadedness won't let him.

Like a switch is flipped, Naruto face darkens, and he rises to his feet.

"What are the rules?" he asks.

For a single moment, Sakura hesitates, her determination stuttering. But then, with a slow, steady breath her posture relaxes and her focus sharpens.

With a single breath she goes from girl to ninja.

"Knockout," Sakura says.

Naruto nods, then says; "I'm going to win, Sakura. And I'm going to be team leader. And then I'll prove to you that I'm a great ninja."

Sakura goes dangerously still. "You're going to win," she says, not a question, then chuckles; a dark little thing with zero mirth.

"Naruto, I'd rather die than lose to you."

With those words and almost as one, the two genin rush at each other and a brutal battle begins.

—❈—

On a rooftop almost half a kilometer away, Kakashi Hatake blinked at the event playing out on The Academy rooftop.

"Huh," the jōnin intoned, "looks like my cute, little genin are just full of surprises."