Flying high

I don't know what to think or feel about the situation I am currently in. I am standing in my room feeling excited and nervous too. I am feeling sad for leaving behind everything for my dreams and I am longing for a future that is bright and successful. my mind is in a conflict battling what to choose and how to feel.

Sighing I roam my eyes around my room which has a lot of memories some are sweet, some are bitter but this room is like a haven to me saving me from the situations and things that I am running from. Memories with family and friends. This room has seen my tears and smiles, sobs, and laughs.

After the memory lane, I resumed packing my stuff and making sure everything is packed in the bags I left my room to join my family in the living room.

"Hey princess come sit here" Dad patted beside him and I was

immediately engulfed by his warmth and cinnamon cologne which I like most, it calms me down. My dad's hugs are second best from my mom's hug.

"Did you pack everything or somethings needed to be packed? Mom yelled from the kitchen preparing lunch for us.

" No mom I packed everything and I made sure to check twice that I am packing everything or not so, don't worry everything is under control" I sassed at last. She doesn't like when someone answers her sassily. so sometimes I answer her this way to irritate her. She looks cute when she gets irritated.

"Scarlett rose Williams don't you dare show your sass to your mother" mom yelled from the kitchen.

"Oopsie she got irritated I better hide somewhere," I said hurriedly while looking for a place to hide.

Julia, Nathan, and dad burst into laughter while I am searching for a place to hide running like a headless chicken.

After laughing our hearts out we all had lunch and took our mom's famous desert and my favorite apple pie to the living room and shared our childhood memories while laughing and remembering our precious moments.

"I am gonna miss u, sissy," says my younger sister Julie with a sad face and it broke my heart.

"Yeah I'm gonna miss you too scar," says Nathan same as Julie with a sad face. They are twins 2 minutes apart from each other. They are my little devils.

"IAM gonna miss you guys too, I promise to FaceTime and call you guys frequently," I said to them.

Dad loaded my luggage in my black SUV and coming towards me with a sad face.

"I am going to miss my princess a lot and always remember that no matter what time or which situation it may be I am a call away from you, I am always gonna be there for you don't forget that princess I love you," said dad with tears in his eyes hugging me tightly and calming me with his warmth.

"Promise me to take care of yourself and gonna take your meals on time and not gonna stress yourself out with your university," said mom sternly but I can see her concern in her eyes and said " I promise mom to eat properly and on time and not gonna stress myself out and gonna take care of myself" while hugging her and forgetting my every worry and stress in my momma's arms.

After a lot of convincing and promises to call and take care of myself, I started my journey from green port to New York which 2 hours and 30 minutes to reach.

I am leaving everything behind for my dream to become a writer and an editor to a popular publishing company and make a name for me and make my family proud.

I am gonna show everyone what I am capable of.

There gonna be new challenges, people, situations, and surroundings that I have to face and fight to reach my goal.

There is nothing that can stop me from reaching myself and I am gonna make sure of it. I am gonna change myself from a scared, sad, depressive Scarlett Williams to confident, courageous, and happy Scarlett Williams.

While leaving my hometown I feel like something is weighing me down like I am leaving everything behind for the future in which I may succeed or fail?

How am I gonna face my family and the people who laughed at me and questioned my choice of profession?

I am leaving everything behind and most importantly the part where I got scars and nightmares which will gonna haunt me in my new life too. I am physically leaving that horrible part of my life which mostly no one knows about but I am taking those scars which are on my soul and the demons which build their homes in my dreams and made them nightmares.

I've changed from a happy, optimistic Scarlett to a silent, depressed Scarlett.

Anxiety, panic attacks are the trophies I got from that part of my life.

My own family didn't know about my demons. they thought the reasons for my panic attacks and anxiety attacks because of me stressing myself out to make good grades but they don't know the actual reasons behind them and I don't wanna tell them about it too.

I am gonna change everything and gonna face every challenge every situation with courage and confidence and I am gonna make myself strong and happy.

With these thoughts, I drove through the highway completing 1 hour of the journey to New York City. One and a half hours to reach my new life.

"Everything's gonna be okay. Just stay calm and patient" I repeated this in my head again and again till I got to my destination

New York City here I come.