Finding Ourselves

[POV: Joy]

'Deep breaths, Joy, deep breaths.'

I'm shaking. I'm so nervous, and I can't stop my body from twitching and jumping. I'm sure my Dad is noticing it too. I don't think I was even this nervous when I gave my first speech on gender dysphoria in front of a crowd of 150 plus people.

We're on our way to the local high school to finalize my paperwork and get my schedule for the semester. I insisted my Dad drove me today, because honestly, I'd probably turn around and go back home on impulse. I'm finally comfortable in my body enough to show everyone I grew up with in elementary school, so I'm returning.

I can hear my Dad chuckle from the driver's seat next to me. "What's so funny, Dad?"

"Why are you so nervous, sweetie? I didn't think you would be, considering some of the audiences you've stood in front of."

"This is different, Dad."

"How so?"

"Instead of spending 20 minutes in front of these people giving a speech, I'll be spending 9 months with them."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll be fine. You'll make new friends, and maybe even meet some of the kids you were friends with in elementary school. Look, we're here. Relax and you'll do fine, sweetie."

"Oh God, we just got here and everybody is staring. I told you not to drive the Spyder, but you just had to."

"HAHAHA! I love my Porsche. You know that."

I cover my face with my hands. "I wish we took my Range Rover. At least my car is less conspicuous in black, while this candy apple red basically screams that you're in the middle of a mid-life crisis."

"Ouch, that hurts, honey," my Dad says, covering his chest, feigning hurt in a playful manner.

"Okay, okay. Let's just go to the office and get this over with before I have an anxiety attack."

We get out of the car and make our way into the school while everyone stares in our direction. 'God, kill me now. I didn't want this much attention right at the start.' We get to the office and tell the secretary what we're here for.

"Oh, welcome Mr. Mitchelson! And you must be Joy! I've read and heard a lot about you, young lady. We're happy to welcome you." She's a kind looking middle-aged woman. She reaches up and pulls off her readers and reaches out to shake my hand, to which I reciprocate.

"The pleasures mine, Mrs. Selner. I'm really nervous, but also happy. I've been doing online schooling for the past 6 years, and I really want a change of pace before I go to college."

"Well, we're glad to have you back, and look at you! Such a pretty young lady!"

I grin wholeheartedly. "Thanks for the compliment. It's taken years, but I'm finally comfortable in my body."

"Well, I'm sure you'll fit right in, sweetie." Mrs. Selner reaches down to the table to hand my Dad the transfer paperwork and me my schedule for the semester. "If you'll sign these Mr. Mitchelson, and here's your schedule and all the other information you'll need, map included. Principal McLaughlin wanted to be here to welcome you and show you around the school, but he had an emergency school board meeting to attend this morning."

I look at my schedule to see my science stream courses listed down. I have homeroom first, then AP Chem II, AP Physics II, AP Bio II, Phys Ed, then I'll end the day with AP Engineering II. I've completed all the non-science courses by my sophomore year by doing summer courses since I graduated middle school. What can I say? I'm an over-achiever. I've already been accepted to the Biomedical Engineering Department at Stanford with a full ride, but I wanted to earn some extra credits before graduating. I could have and would have gone to John Hopkins, but I honestly didn't want to leave my home state. I've even got a job lined up after getting my doctorate at my family's medical research facility.

I look up from my schedule and tell Mrs. Selner, "That's fine. I'd rather not make my attendance here a big deal. Um, but if I could ask a favor?"

"Of course. What is it, dear?"

"Do you think you could call my homeroom teacher here to escort me? You see... I'm actually really nervous and I know I'd get lost, even with the map," I say scratching my cheek in embarrassment while my Dad just snickers with his hand covering his mouth, to which I send him an icy glare.

The secretary chuckles at our interaction. "That's fine. I'll call her here right away. We actually selected Mrs. Sharpe specifically for you because she's an avid supporter of the LGBTQ+ community, and I'm sure you'd love meeting her wife and children. They're simply wonderful people."

I smile at the thought they've given me. She makes the call over the intercom to call my homeroom teacher to the office. Three minutes later, a mature and stern looking woman, who appears to be in her 40's walks into the office. "Mrs. Sharpe, this here is Joy Mitchelson. She's returning to our school system to finish her high school diploma and is the newest addition to your class."

She reaches with both hands to shake mine and exclaims, "Oh Joy! I'm so glad to finally meet you in person! My wife and I have actually attended some of your presentations, but have never actually gotten the chance to speak with you in person. I'm so proud to finally meet you and have you in my class. My wife will be so jealous!"

My Dad looks at me with a knowing grin. I roll my eyes at him and respond, "I didn't know my teacher would be a fan, hehe. This is kind of embarrassing."

"Well, try not to be. You've done a lot of good work for kids struggling with gender identity. Anyways, are you ready to head to class and meet everyone?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." I reach my Dad to give him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. I wouldn't be where I am now if it wasn't for my loving parents. They accepted me when I told them I identified as a girl and came out to them at the age of 8. They even went to the extent of paying for my hormone replacement therapy and some minor surgeries to fine tune my looks to be more feminine. "I'll see you tonight, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie. You have a good day. I'll have someone send your car over so you have a ride home. Have your spare key?"

I nodded and waved my Dad out the door before turning to follow my teacher, Mrs. Sharpe, to my homeroom.