Chapter 4: Is not...

It's been a year and a half since I came to the Harry Potter world, most of the time I train with gramps.

Oh yeah, I decided to call Li like that since the cover is that he is my grandparent also... I feel quite lonely.

Honestly, in all those fanfictions the main character always talks of how awesome is to be in a 'fictional' world, how they would use the plot to get what they want and how they would reach the top, how bloody awesome is to get all the women but…

But they never talk about what they leave behind, the first night of coming here I couldn't stop crying knowing that I would never see my family again. How I would never hear my mother's voice again, how my dad won't explain things to me anymore, how I never going to fight with my little brother again for silly things, hanging out with my friends and talking about stupid things and her…

Now I think how convenient transmigration/reincarnation stories are, I mean almost every MC is either an orphan or someone with a shitty family story. And the ones that aren't most of them just think a little about their family and move on or they just simply don't care.

And the worst part of all this? Is that they forgot everything about me. Everything that we lived together it's just gone. Like it was just a part of my imagination or a dream. I always pitted Xion for being forgotten by all her friends and now I'm here…in the same situation.

Seeing that was sad but living it... It's just horrible. If gramps wasn't here with me, I don't know what would have happened to me. When I first got the summoning ticket, I felt that I was lucky but now not even words could describe how I feel.

Sad things apart we traveled a bit around the world looking for more weapons that I could recreate into Noble Phantasm, I got lucky and found a few of them. It seems that Aqua really put Durindana in the museum that day. I thought that it would be easier but it seems that I was too naïve.

The bad thing is that we couldn't go to the 'magical' side of the world since we didn't want to rise suspicion since I don't want to change the 'plot' even before it started, also since I'm technically muggle born and Li can't use magic besides we don't know in how many places Dumbledore have eyes and I don't know if he is the "for the greater good" version like in those fanfictions or just an idiot that even being the strongest wizard on Britain every year since Harry enrolled in Hogwarts became one of the most insecure places to live.

I mean come on, the wraith of Voldemort possessing a teacher, a 50 meters Basilisk roaming around the castle, and a student almost dying from being used by one of Voldemort's Horocruxes, and that just the first two years!

So, I just studied Magecraft from the Nasuverse, Runecraft and to be precise the primordial runes are interesting, to say the least. Every rune has multiple meanings depending on the intentions of the user and using them in conjunction creates multiple effects honestly I can't even see the end of what they can do and having Cu Chulainn knowledge helped a lot, if not I don't know how many years it would take me to properly use them. Even if he didn't quite like to use them, he was indeed a genius. The only downside I can see it's how expensive in magic energy they are, at first I could barely use them but with my constantly increasing Od it because easier.

Besides Runecraft I bought Zelretch's book, shenanigans apart, the book it's a very useful one as you would expect from the monster that could fight the Type-Moon. It explained the use of the thaumaturgical system quite easily, that even a person like me without experience can train it without a lot of risks. It also explained how to discover one's element and origin. In my case, I had a high affinity with fire and wind and a middle affinity with earth, that is with the common attributes.

And yes I said with the common attributes, I also discovered that I have an outstanding affinity with the soul and space element. This doesn't mean that by any means I'm a natural user of the Heavens Feels or Kaleidoscope it's just that Magecraft that it's related to soul and space is A LOT easier for me.

But the problem was that since the book only covered the basis it doesn't have anything related to them since that is an advanced branch of Magecraft. But I could still practice other simpler elemental spells along with Reinforcement and Structural Analysis.

It wasn't that hard for me to grasp the initial stages of both of them but using Reinforcement in my body is still a big fat no. While I'm actually capable of using objects I'm not still confident enough not to make any mistakes. Besides, I can 'buff' with runes, but I still want to have both options available. So I'm studying more about human anatomy to get a better grasp of it.

And with my origin... There is no way in Kazuma's name that I will touch it. I know that if I have a good origin, it would boost my abilities several folds but that's 'IF' I have a good origin. I can still remember that poor guy in Kara No Kyokai that Souren Araya awakened his origin and became an eating freak.

So, there's no way in hell that I'm risking it, even if I have bullshit luck who knows when it would bite me back.

And concerning my nonmagical training...

"Gramps you could have gone easier on me," I said gritting my teeth.

"But little Yozora if went easy on you, you could have hit me, so how this fragile old man could endure the strength of a young and strong boy like you," Gramps said in a mocking tone.

"Fragile my ass! Honestly, you could solo this world, but I need to take an active role"

"Jokes aside you are indeed quite strong taking into consideration that your body is only 10 years old, honestly you are quite a monster yourself"

"Yeah, by normal standards I'm, but there there are bigger monsters in my "home" world, so in other words I'm still too weak"

"Take it easy, with time I'm quite confident that you would be an apex, besides didn't you tell me that you are also, a "cheat" character like your boss likes to call you?"

"Yeah but I would be against other "cheat" characters so I need to be a lot stronger "

Gramps just shook his head from side to side "Listen little Yozora, I know that you are anxious about what is going to happen in the future, but you can just diminish your accomplishments for that. While in truth you are weak now, you will not be always weak, do you believe that I was always strong? The answer is no, while I was more talented than my peers I had to train my ass to be the person that I'm now, so just train Little Yozora so in the future you become one of those 'monsters' that you fear"

I just gave gramps a nod and went to the other room.

"Jezz to think that I getting low self-esteem, but Gramps is right considering that my body is just of a 10 or so years old human and in my previous life I didn't have any significant type of combat training or experience I'm indeed a kind of monster." I walked to the training magic training, while it's quite the same as the other room, I like to have rooms for specific reasons.

I expended a few hours in my 'special' training, not even gramps knows what I'm doing here since I wanted to make it a surprise about this.

"Damn it, this is quite hard but if I'm successful…"

*knock* *knock* "Little Yozora, it's time," Gramps said in a serious tone.

I opened the door and looked at Gramps "Who is the target?" I said in a serious tone.

"The name is Robert Williams, the leader of a local gang, while they are not that big they are implicated in a lot of illegal activities"

"Are going for everyone or just him?"

"Just the leader, if we kill everyone without a proper plan we can create a gang war, and since our objective, this time is not 'play the hero' we just need him since he marks most of what you ask me but before we go I must ask you, are you sure about this little Yozora?" Gramps asked with some concern in his eyes.

I closed my eyes to consider everything "I'm sure gramps, while I'm not excited about this, is something that I must do, sooner or later I will have to kill, and I would rather do it in the most controlled area than in a chaotic ambient"

Gramps just sighed "Very well Yozora"

On the outskirts of London

"Help!!!" A young woman screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Shut up bitch, you shouldn't have rejected me, but don't worry you will feel good in a few moments," Said a white, blond man in his forties

"Please stop, you don't have to do this, I will not tell anyone about what happened so please stop!" The young woman said in between sobs.

The man punched the young woman and she fell to the ground "Just shut up bitch, do you think that anyone would help you?" The man was starting to pull his pants down but just before he could do it.

"Mah mah, I knew that you would be scum but to assault a woman half your age? Seriously if you want to get laid so bad, you could just pay for a hooker, but with your ugly face a doubt that even a hooker would accept" I said in a mocking tone.

Robert looked at me very pissed "Kid, get the fuck out of here if you don't want to get yourself killed, while I don't particularly enjoy killing kids, this wouldn't be the first time that I do it"

I narrowed my eyes after hearing what he said "Well, well, well not just young ladies also kids? In all honestly, I was a little bit hesitant before, but now?" I raised my hand and send 2 phantasmal swords toward his legs.

Robert couldn't react in time and in less than a second both of his legs got stabbed by my phantasmal swords "What the fuck did you do?" Robert screamed in pain.

"I stabbed you? Oh, you mean the magical swords? Well, a magus never reveals his secrets so I can't tell you ~" I said making fun of him.

"Oh by the way Gramps please take the girl away, I don't want her to see what I will do."

"Very well, do you need help?" Gramps asked me in a neutral tone.

"No thank you, this will be over in a moment" I dropped my playful charade and responded in a serious tone.

Gramps just nodded I took the girl away.

"Why are you doing this kid!" Robert screamed in a raged tone "You don't know her, she is just a random bitch that I wanted to fuck, do you want to play the hero or something?"

"While indeed it's true that I don't know the girl in question, saving her is just an extra reward of what I want, I saved her from being r**** and she gave me more reasons to kill you~"

"Look kid if I did something to you I'm sorry just let me go, you want money I can give you plentily of that, or just give me to the cops I swear I won't say anything," Robert said in a scared tone.

"Hahahaha, don't you see it don't you?" I said mocking him "Oh the sweet irony~ but to be honest, you could spend the whole night talking about how you can give me some compensation or how you can change but we both know that that will be pure bullshit"

I started to get closer to him "You see, my eyes I quite special, I can see the human's deepest and darkest desires and you Robert are quite disgusting if a may say, so that's why I choose you. I choose you to become my stepping stone, so please die so I can live" I summoned a nameless blade.

"Please don't-"But before he could talk any longer I stabbed him in the throat.

"Goodbye, Robert Williams, and thank you for being a horrible person~" After a few seconds of struggling the lifeless body of Robert fell on the floor.

"Is it done?" Gramps asked me from behind.

"Yeah, what about the lady?" I asked him in a low tone.

"I put her to sleep, so you have an easier time erasing her memories of tonight"

"Thanks, well I will just dispose of the body and we will go home after returning the lady to her house"

"Are you okay?" Gramps asked a little bit concerned.

"For the moment I'm but it's most likely thanks to your [Veteran] skill so we will check at home if I'm indeed fine" I looked at the corpse of Robert and cast a rune in the air to cremate the body.

"Let's go, gramps" I turned my back to the corpse.

.......

In Yozora's home.

We arrived home after leaving the lady and erasing her memories, lucky for me this time she didn't have Od above the normal person if that was the case things would become too complicated since I'm not proficient enough with this type of magecraft.

"Why did you do all that theatrical show while killing that man?" Gramps asked not in an angry tone but rather in a curious one.

"In all honestly, I was nervous and since I was a kid all the time that I got nervous I tried to joke or do something stupid to shake it off, so I think that that was what happened."

"I see... not the weirdest thing that I heard"

"Gramps please try to deactivate your skill," I asked him to deactivate his [Veteran] skill so I could confront my emotions alone.

Gramps put a trash bin near me and closed his eyes, and after a few moments, a myriad of emotions aboded me. Fear, hate, sadness but above everything disgust, disgust at myself for what I had done. Not even a second after I took the thrash bin and started throwing up.

'I killed a human with my two hands' I started to remember Robert's pleading eyes begging me to not kill him, all the blood coming out of his throat after being stabbed by my blade, him struggling before all the light left his eyes just leaving a cold corpse in the floor.

I looked at my hands and even if I knew that they were clean, I could clearly see blood in them.

Tears started to leave my eyes "I-I-I am a monster"

"No little Yozora you are just a person that did what it had to be done," Gramps said patting my back.

"But-I-kkilled a person, I didn't in self-defense or to save someone, I did it because I wanted. I-I killed so I would have an 'easier' time in the future, the lady I saved was just an extra, just an extra reason to kill him…"

Gramps just sighed at my words "I ask you little Yozora, Do you think that I'm a monster?"

"No! I would never think that you are a monster, you are my grandpa the only person I have left, you are my family!" As cringe as it sounds that was what I really think.

"See if I'm not a monster after I had killed tens of people, so why would you be a monster after just having killed a barely human being?"

"But that's different you did it because-"But before I could finish Gramps stopped me.

"It was because I wanted little Yozora, maybe our starting reasons were a little bit different but at the end of the day, we did it had to be done. Killing doesn't make you a monster, killing just for the sake of killing does." Gramps paused for a moment.

"Look, I will not tell you that just move on because that's not how it works and as cliché, as it sounds only time, will help you, and as bad as it sounds with time it would become easier, for now, you would think that you are a horrible person which you are not but again with time you will realize that," Gramps said giving me a gentle smile.

I just nodded at Gramps's words, logically speaking I knew that he was right but I feel like an awful being and my inner demons didn't help.

"Gramps…. Do you hate me?" I fearfully asked something that has been eating me from the inside for a long time.

Gramps just raised an eyebrow "Why I would hate you little Yozora?" He asked truthfully confused.

"Because you are here stranded with a stupid brat, in a mission that possibly doesn't have an end, because a I called you when you could not gain anything for this, because you are obliged to take care of me, to train someone that it's not worth your time because of you have to do things that you don't like!" And after I said everything, I started to cry again, at the start when I summoned him I was so excited by the fact that I would meet a legendary figure that I didn't even realize that I was basically slaving someone. But as time passed, I realized what I'd done but my fear of totally alone took the best of me and I couldn't say anything.

And today it became even clearer... I was treating this like it was all fiction, even if I was taking part of all a little part of me was still thinking of this world as fictional and the people here just as characters but after taking a life I felt the reality check.

Gramps just hugged me and started to pad my back "Silly boy, why I would hate you for this? I don't believe that our meeting it's a coincidence, I always think of my master as my grandchildren since usually there is a big age gap between us, but you truly became my grandson. You needed someone to support you and help you to become stronger and that's a role that I gladly take so, please don't ever think that I just care about you by the simple fact that you are my master. You are first my grandson, then my disciple, and at the last place my master."

After hearing gramps's words, I started to cry even louder. My biggest fear was cleared away, I was so so glad that he didn't hate me. Because even if it pained me I would have canceled the contract, I didn't want to take another person's freedom, especially the freedom of someone that I cared about even if that person didn't feel the same as me.

"Now go to sleep, you need to rest after everything that happened today."

I nodded at Gramps "Okay, good night gramps"

"Good night little Yozora"

......

On the outskirts of London

"Again why are we here again for the murder of a Muggle?" A man in black clothes asked his partner.

"The ministry registered weird magic fluctuations from this place and when an intern came to verify, the only thing that they found was a burning corpse" A man in grey clothes responded to his coworker.

"Does the ministry think that this is something related to Death eaters?

"Highly doubtful, what we found by the muggle police was that the man was a local gang leader so this seems personal, but they send us to very that the idiot that did this didn't leave any evidence of the magical world"

"Any witness so far?"

The man in gray just shook his head "No, either he was a lucky bastard or this was highly planned, either way, the ministry will send some people to observe this place for a couple of days in case that the perpetrator wants to go after the other members."

"Why do we have to do this if he only goes after some muggle gang?" The man in the black clothes asked quite annoyed.

The man in the gray clothes just sighed at his partner's stupidity "Look, even if we don't care what happens to these scums, it's forbidden to use magic against muggles so he is breaking the law. And in the worst-case scenario, it makes our work harder by revealing magic to any muggle that survives."

"Okay, okay I get it, but seriously this seems like a dead end since we don't have any clues"

"Well, that is not entirely true, at least from the muggle side, the muggle that investigates corpses, what was his name again? Oh yeah forensic scientist said that the man's legs and throat were stabbed by a sword or something similar"

"A wizard that uses a sword these days? In Arthur's day was not that uncommon but now is quite rare"

"Indeed but you know that everything is possible in our word".

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Hello everyone I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Well I finally could upload the chapter, I got scolded today at work and I was a little bit down but I didn't want to leaving you guys another day without a chapter.

I just wanted to sayt something about the MC mental breakdown, He was just a regular dude before all this shit show so killing was not a thing that he would tought that he would do so he is not a crying baby. I would feel weird if he didn't care about killing, but don't worry he won't be a Goody two shoes like Emiya.

I read some coments about the waifus and I liked what I saw hahaha, but it would take some time before they appear.

Also please leave a comment of what kind of Noble Phantasm or world you would like to see.

See you in the next chapter.