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False Aisle (Test-Revision)

Fantasy
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What is False Aisle (Test-Revision)

Lesen Sie den Roman False Aisle (Test-Revision) des Autors Eiffel_Olympus, veröffentlicht auf WebNovel.A boy born in the wrong Kingdom and Family. Marvis ‘Furlock’ Asharion was born as a healer Class his family is well-known Warriors around the world. While the Kingdom of Aresian abhorred the healer cl...

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A boy born in the wrong Kingdom and Family. Marvis ‘Furlock’ Asharion was born as a healer Class his family is well-known Warriors around the world. While the Kingdom of Aresian abhorred the healer class for a reason. He was disowned secretly since his a disgrace in the Bloodline of Asharion, but his grandparents secretly took him and took care of him. The boy grew up and as a weak healer and now striving as an adventure and he will prove to his family and his kingdom that he will survive as a healer! But Little did he know that the ‘warrior’ blood still runs in his veins.

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My Longevity Simulation (translation)

ChatGPT translation. officially translated in https://www.scribblehub.com/series/851465/my-longevity-simulation You can find other Chatgpt translated chapters till chapter 1282 on https://www.webnovel.com/book/my-longevity-simulation_28050609508559105 ********* Synopsis: The path of immortality is nigh unachievable. Furthermore, the immortal world has been completely transformed by a plague! When immortals contact infected mortals, their cultivation bases fall, or worse, they return to the heavens; thus, the immortal and mortal realms have been eternally separated. Moreover, all immortal arts may only have one practitioner; thus, the world of immortality has become a dark forest. … Although Li Fan had grand ambitions when he first transmigrated to this world, he could only be trapped in mediocrity, slowly wasting away his mundane life. Fortunately, as he was dying, he finally awakened a supreme treasure that could turn truth into lie and reality into dream, reversing time to when he first arrived! Following this, Li Fan embarked on his endless path to immortality! In his second life, Li Fan ascended through politics and ruled the world after 50 years, but after searching worldwide, he found no trace of the Immortal Dao. Only at the end of his life could he glimpse the immortal path. In the third life, despite immense efforts and carefully laid schemes, Li Fan ultimately couldn’t resist a single strike of an immortal’s sword! In the fourth life… … I, Li Fan, an ordinary mortal, will harbor no regrets throughout a thousand lifetimes, all for the pursuit of immortality! ******* Cultivation Realms: >Qi refining/Foundation building >Foundation establishment >Golden core/Core transformation >Yuan Ying/ Nascent Soul >Nascent Divinity/ Divine Transformation (Sometimes they are mistakenly called Nascent Souls) >Dao Integration/Harmonization/ Unity/ Fusion/Convergence (Daoist Sovereign) >Eternal Life Realm/Longevity Tianzun/ Trancendent Heaven Sage Wanxian alliance= Ten Thousand Immortal alliance. Cloud Mist sea= Cong Yun Sea Tianbao Tower = Heavenly Treasure Pavilion Xuantian= Profound Heaven

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ReincarnatedSaint
ReincarnatedSaintLv10ReincarnatedSaint

Well overall, let me say this too you. You have got a nice story. Character and world building is going well. And the MC you currently have is of my taste. But your main problem is with writing. So here are some tips. 1. Try to use past tenses since you are writing in third Person's POV 2. Read a lot of novels, there are some site too which are good for new author's, just browse through them. 3. It's my personal opinion, edit the chapters and continue to improve your chapters. Don't drop the novel, if you wanna improve. I have gone through it too. And I improved a lot. I was no better than you. You are doing great man. People need courage to write, because there will always people to make fun of you. Just keep up the hardwork. And if you want to ask anything. Just hit me on discord. ReincarnatedSaint#2904

_Rain
_RainLv11_Rain

I liked it... I'm curious about how this story will go on. I didn't mind the grammar errors because I could understand what you were trying to say. You have a good story and I hope to see more. I want to read more so I'm adding this. Good luck, author

RenuKakkar
RenuKakkarLv5RenuKakkar

The idea of the story is good. It is developing well. The character design and the world background is good too. The only issue is with the writing. There seems to be a problem with sentence construction and grammar. Since this is your first book, one tends to make mistakes. Don't feel that I am trying to discourage you. On the contrary, I would suggest that you read a few novels online ( not all from webnovel) as all are not tip top in grammar etc. Try Sherlock Holmes etc. Those will help. Before publishing your chapter, I would suggest that you run it through a grammar checker. This will eliminate the mistakes you are making and may suggest alternative words too. I am doing so. All the best.

bikko
bikkoLv5bikko

Very promising start and possesses a lot of potential! The author has room for improvement when it comes to writing quality but I think I already see a little improvement in what is already there. The concept is fun and I see a lot of different potential paths this story can take. I'm looking forward to more and I'm sure the author won't disappoint!

MaxwellKHA
MaxwellKHALv4MaxwellKHA

Overall, the story is good. I like the fact that the MC doesn't any cheat abilities yet. World building is on the spot. Though I agree with someone that suggest that a healer should bring a backup weapon. Overall is very good. Keep it up author

AI380
AI380Lv4AI380

Spoiler enthüllen

MokouFriedChicken
MokouFriedChickenLv3MokouFriedChicken

Promising start. Grammar could use some work, but the story is solid. Keep on writing and hone those skills. I'll jump back in when there's more chapters to sink into.

Mellize
MellizeLv10Mellize

I definitely like this story! It definitely reminds me of all the MMORPGs I play as a mage or thief. It's got great background that connects well and explains clearly the reason for their resentment towards the healer class. Your characters are quite well-developed, they've got goals, strengths and weakness in their classes, and nice personalities. The pacing is good, not too slow nor too fast. Just the right pace. And I recommend improving and working on your writing style. The typos did distract me from time to time but not major enough to slow my progress in reading. I totally agree with Saint's review but with additional advice. Since your story is based on the magical adventure and fighting monsters, you can try out novels with similar themes and take note (mentally and through understanding) how they work on their novel, mainly on their writing style. Tho, it might not be much, I hope it helps you. Anyhow, this was fun to read!

Kiiara
KiiaraLv11Kiiara

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Deem_
Deem_Lv3Deem_

Nice start and good companionship between the friends... despite the little typos everything is good and good background knowledge...bloodlust thing..it sure caught my interest...

Starcracker
StarcrackerLv1Starcracker

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact cttbx123@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.

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