Chapter 4: Stealing!

"1000!" Wade says in a exaugurated tone.

"Yes 1000." Rose nods her head in confirmation.

"I don't have 1000 what about 100." Wade says pulling out 100 valis.

"I am sorry the minimum fee is 1000 it was made to give everyone a fair chance to enter the dungeon while making sure those desperate untrained people that didn't have anything wouldn't just throw there life away at a quick attempt to earn a little money." Rose says trying to make them understand. Zoro nods because it makes sense however Wade didn't care and was a trying to come up with a resolution.

'Mio open up inventory'. Wade thinks trying to see if he has anything of value.

'Sure thing host!' Mio says cheerfully.

[Inventory]

items:

Valis: 120

Description: Currency in Orario

Common: 1 Wooden spoon

Description: Can give someone a good spanking if ya know what I mean ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

Common: 1 pair of toenail clippers

Description: Got to keep those bad boys in check and these do the job

Uncommon: Rinky dink iron sword

Description: Really good for cutting butter

Uncommon: Basic Katanas x2

Description: Basic Katanas you would see on canon fodder

SSR: Dual Desert Eagles

Description: Ordinary Desert eagles however they have unlimited bullets

Legendary: Might Guy's Workout Guide Vol 1-5

Description: Written by a master of fitness that prided himself on pushing past his limits

(Took Deadpool suit out because he's wearing it just for anyone wondering.)

"Okay how much for this." Wade says making the iron sword appear in his hands. Rose looks at the poorly managed sword and lifts a eyebrow.

"This place doesn't buy junk Wade and just by seeing the sword you could probably sell it to a blacksmith for about 150 valis just to be melted down and repurposed because it looks poorly made, it also looks like it could break at any moment in a fight." Rose says crossing her arms unimpressed.

"But it can cut butter." Wade said in a whining tone. Zoro and Rose both look at Wade too see if this was one of his lame jokes, not seeing the confirmation in his pleading expression if Rose didn't confirm her doubts before she did now. The man in Black and red tights that goes by Wade is a total idiot as she starts to rub her forehead starting to get a headache.

"Listen Wade those are the guild rules I'm sorry but without 1000 valis that means no on the dungeon." Rose says still rubbing her forehead. Wade a little dejected when suddenly a noise sounds off in his head.

*Ding*

[Main Mission]

Description: Get 1000 valis

Rewards: 1 gacha ticket

Wade looks at this and suddenly comes up with a idea. "Zoro come on I know a way to get some money." Wade says standing up and walking towards the door. Zoro see this and also stands up and nods at Rose before he heads over too Wade. "Don't worry we will be back Rose just wait." Wade says as he leaves the room.

"Take your time." Rose says in a tired voice.

Outside in front of the Guild Hall

Wade is walking out the door of the guild with Zoro trailing him. "So how are we gonna get 1000 valis?" Zoro inquires.

"Stealing!" Wade says pumping his fist in the air while walking down the street.

"Seriously that's your bright idea." Zoro says looking at Wade while rolling his eyes.

"If your worried about your conscious don't worry well only steal from criminals which makes it okay." Wade says continuing to walk down the street. Zoro not caring anymore gives up and just follows along. Wade is moving through the street checking every alley way. Zoro sees this and couldn't keep from asking.

"Why are you checking every alley way?" Zoro asks in a questioning tone.

"I'm looking for a cliché robbery were a couple of thugs steal from someone with some cash." Wade says still looking in alley ways.

"There's no way something like that is gonna happen just because you want it too." Zoro says shaking his head

Meanwhile in a random alley way

Three thugs are surrounding a starved man with a greedy smile plastered on there face. "Cough it up we know you go some valis on you since the deadline is coming up." Thug 1 said in a gimme motion.

"Please no if I give this to you I wont have enough for the deadline for the soma familia." the weak man says as he clutches his valis pouch.

"Does it look like we care what you want now hand it over!" Thug 3 says as he reaches for the pouch however the weak man steps back not wanting to give it up. Thug 3 sees this and charges toward him and as the weak man tries turning around to make a last ditch effort to escape unbeknownst to him while Thug 1 and Thug 3 were distracting him Thug 2 snuck up behind landing a punch hitting him square in the face right as he turned around.

"AHHH!" the weak man lets out a cry of pain as he falls to the ground.

"Know your place trash." Thug 3 says as he runs up and kicks him right in the stomach knocking the air out of the weak man. He clutches his stomach while Thug 2 reaches for the pouch and takes it opening it up to see what they got.

"How much does he have?" Thug 1 inquires.

"Only 3,000 valis you cant even buy a sip of the of the Soma familia alcohol with this!" Thug 2 says shouting loudly as he thought this guy was carrying around a huge haul. Boiling with anger he vents his frustration out on the weak man by kicking him repeatedly.

"Whatever we got what we came for we can just rob a couple more weaklings and get enough to get us wasted!" Thug 3 chips in with a laugh and they all join in.

"See I told you Zoro!" A voice says with excitement and before the thugs could turn around it was already too late.

*Bang*

*Bang*

*Bang*

*Bang*

*Bang*

*Bang*

Shots were fired at their heads and hearts as the thugs bodies fell lifelessly to the ground, their eyes slowly becoming devoid of life. Two figures can be seen walking down the alley one in tights and the other with three swords and it was none other than Wade and Zoro. Wade walks over to the dead bodies not even flinching that he just took someone's life as he looks for the loot.

"Ah here it is." Wade say as he reaches for the pouch that contained the money as well as patting down there bodies for even more valis.

"I cant believe something like this happened." Zoro shook his head in disbelief. The weak man opens his eyes to his saviors and get excited.

"Thank you so much for saving me from these criminals and returning my valis." he says in a sincere tone as he holds his hands out waiting to receive what was his.

"Hell no I stole this fair and square go get your own valis." Wade says as he puts the valis into his inventory. "6,000 valis holy shit these guys were loaded!" Wade says with some excitement however the weak man doesn't give him time to bask in his new found wealth and interrupts his moment.

"But those were my valis." the weak man says in a pleading tone tears threating to fall from his eyes.

"Yea they were until they got stolen by these three and then I stole it from them making it mine." Wade says crossing his arms not willing to budge.

"Please I need it I need to feel the way that alcohol makes me feel please!" the weak man says grabbing onto Wade's leg.

"Get the fuck off of me." Wade says as he punches the weak man in the face knocking him out. "Come on Zoro lets get out of here." He says motioning Zoro to leave.

"What was that about alcohol?" Zoro says while pointing to the man knocked out.

"Oh so the Soma familia makes this alcohol that's super addictive and basically gets anyone who tries it hooked so what they do is make these junkies go tooth and nail to get valis by any means to satisfy there addiction." Wade says in a casual tone while shrugging Zoro hearing this is a little displeased and asks further.

"Why doesn't anyone do anything about it especially the people in there familia?." Zoro says following Wade.

"Well from my guess they probably have a lot of connections with the black-market making them pretty powerful in terms of status and they probably have there hands in a lot of dirty business." Wade continues as they finish walking out of the alley. "But if your asking about the members in general the people at the top of the familia probably have a firm grip on these addicts if they have so many people that succumb to it and think about it like this if you ask a addict to stop 99% of the time there just gonna go tell you to fuck off." Wade says walking the opposite way of the guild.

"Are we gonna do something about it." Zoro asks clearly already disgusted about the Soma familia.

"Probably in the future but now lets go rob some more petty criminals." Wade says rubbing his hands together menacingly with a evil smile plastered on his face. Zoro still a little angry at this Familia's antics and how the god can just allow this nods his head for the time being because they have other things to worry about.

*Ding*

[Main Mission](Completed)

Description: Get 1000 valis

Rewards: 1 gacha ticket

Hidden reward: 1 gacha ticket

Description: Get doubled the amount asked for

'Score definitely gonna use those later' he says continuing his happy move.

After 3 hours of robb-I mean helping the community they ended up collecting another 1024 valis. Wade is quite happy with all the money he got and is walking with a lot of vigor. Zoro is just following him as its not like the first time he's seen trash that needs to be cleaned up before.

30 minutes of walking later they end up back at the guild however they were met with disappointment when they saw it was closed. "Dammit right when we got the money it ends up being closed." Wade says sulking his shoulders and motions to Zoro. "C'mon Zoro lets go to the public bath." he says with his head down walking towards the public bath house that they saw earlier when they robbe-ste-ahem found money off a thug in a nearby alley way.

They reached the bath and payed the 500 valis fine each much to Wade's dismay and they made there way into the bath. Wade was strolling into the bath with only his mask on rocking his birthday suit.

"You could at least put on a towel on Wade." Zoro says rubbing his head while shaking his head.

"Why its not like they forbid it and besides I'm not ashamed of my manhood." he says puffing his chest making his way to the bath and as he did Zoro sighed and also headed in the same direction.

"Oh yeaaaaaaaa." Wade said sinking into the bath as Zoro also descended as well. 'Oh yeah I should use those gacha tickets hey Mio how many do I got.' he said realizing he had some tickets to spend while enjoying himself.

'Host you have three!' she said in a cheerful voice.

'Mio you don't have to call me host just call me Wade.' he said.

'Um okay Wade' Mio said hesitantly but managed to say it anyway.

'Cute.' Wade thought to himself. 'Okay use all three gacha tickets.' he said getting ready to see his haul.

*Ding*

Received:

Common Item: 1x Half eaten apple

Uncommon item: 1x Blue Eyes White Dragon playing card

Rare Skill: Thermal hand

'Oh sweet a skill wonder what it does .' Wade thought opening his status getting a little excited as Thermal hand sounds badass.

[Wade Wilson]

Race: God

Strength: C+

Speed: C-

Vitality: SSS

Endurance: SSS

Stamina: A

Intelligence: D-

Divinity: F (Sealed)

[Skills]

Healing Factor [SSS]

Description: Your healing factor is the same as Deadpool as your body will regenerate even from a single cell

Pain Resistance [C+]

Description: I mean things still hurt its just not that much as it would normally

Marksmanship [A+]

Description: You can shoot the nuts off a squirrel from a hundred miles away

Swordsmanship: [C]

Description: Deadpool really relied on his healing factor when fighting so without it your a little above average when it comes to fighting with swords

Hand-To-Hand Combat [A]

Description: You could steal a kids lunch money and when he goes to tell his dad you can steal his too.

Divinity Chaos [F] (Sealed)

Description: As a minor god just born you do not posses any experience with chaos and cannot use it sense this world seals it however if mastered can be a force to be wrecking with.

Thermal Hand [F]

Description: Allows you to keep something at its current temperature but you can't use it on anything larger than a basketball. It does not make you immune to the temperature of a object so you still experience the dangers of something too hot or too cold.

"What kind of shit skill is this!" Wade shouts while looking at this useless skill wondering what the hell he's gonna do with this.

"Can you be quiet I'm trying to relax." Zoro says opening one eye then closing it again.

"Shut up!" Wade says taking the half eaten apple out of his inventory and throwing it at Zoro.

"What the hell was that for!" Zoro says standing up clearly pissed off at Wade's actions.

"That's for telling me to shut up!" Wade said also standing up meeting Zoro's actions.

"I only told you to be quiet because every since I have been here all I have experienced so far is your constant yapping and cheesy pick up lines!" Zoro says veins budging from his forehead.

"They are not Cheesy they're classy and make all the ladies go wild, but what would you known about that you've never been in a relationship " Wade said clutching his fist standing his ground.

"Have you ever been in a relationship!" Zoro said firing back.

"..........."

Complete silence overwhelmed them as Wade could not refute his words because he's never actually been in a relationship before he really was just all talk. They stared at each other as if there in a standoff not one daring to break eye contact for fear of losing there edge on the other.

"Broccoli head!" Wade just said out of nowhere Zoro hearing this twitched his eyebrow.

"At least I don't dress like a clown!" Zoro fired back Wade hearing this puts his hand up to his ear making it into a make shift phone and speaks into it.

"Oh hello how may I help you." Wade says talking into his hand not breaking eye contact with Zoro. "No this is Wade can I take a message." Wade says still talking into the make shift phone. Wade hangs up the phone and retorts. "Your sense of direction called it wants to know where you have been all these years it misses you and wants you to come home." Wade in a sad voice.

"THATS IT!" Zoro says about to charge at Wade.

"BRING IT ON!" Wade says ready to meet him his charge.

"STOP!" both hearing this turned their heads in the direction of the voice. There anger is fuming like a bull seeing red for the first time wanting to know who interrupting them.

"WHAT!" they both said in unison.

"If you want to fight then go fight somewhere else don't go at each others throats in a public bath house your acting like children!" some random old fat man said hearing these took bickering since he's been here from the start couldn't stand by anymore and just watch as they ruined his relaxing bath. Wade and Zoro hearing the fat guy calmed down at little bit and looked at each other again.

"Hmph" they hmphed and looked away at the same time again like children that didn't want to admit their mistakes. They both walked to the changing room trying to get their clothes each walking faster than the other trying to out match the other until it broke out into a full blown sprint until they reached the changing room at the same time.

'I won' they both thought as they smirked no letting the other party see. Time passed as they both refused to talk to each other as they walked side by side until they reached the church.

Hestia was waiting in the room sighing and wondering to herself. 'I wonder what those two did today I bet it was more interesting than sitting behind a stand selling potatoes all day.' she thinks as she sits in a chair eating a cooked potato swaying her legs back and forth as her feet don't reach the floor. Just then the book shelf flies open and footsteps can be heard coming done the stairs. Wade and Zoro can be seen side by side scrunched up against the walls not daring to let the other pass them to show dominance as they finally reach the bottom of the stairs. Hestia sees them both and smiles.

"Hey guys how was your day today!" She says in a cheerful tone as she boasts her pearly whites. They both look at each other and immediately look away.

"Hmph" they both grunt in unison once again as they head for opposite directions. Zoro heading to the couch laying his swords gently next to the couch then climbing on to it and turning his back to Wade. Wade makes a b-line for Hestia as he picks her up and then jumps on to bed also having his back to Zoro.

"Wha-Kyaaaaaaaaa" Hestia yelps as she's picked up by Wade and is now currently laying on the bed. Wade and Zoro lay on there bed both trying to calm down as they both try to doze off to sleep as it takes both of them about 5 seconds to do so. Hestia still processing what just happened as it the events played out to fast for her to processes them. 'I guess they had a fight' Hestia sighed shaking her head also closing her eyes and drifting off into sleep.

Next Morning

Hestia wakes up in a bear hug by Wade and tries to squeeze out of it. 'Why is it so hard to break free.' She thinks trying to squirm her way out. Hestia tries keeps squirming until a idea pops into her head trying to free one arm as she grabs a pillow and wedges it between her and Wade. Hestia tries with all her might to create some space and manages to break free as she replaces herself with the pillow. Hestia gets out of the bed and looks at Wade and Zoro then sighs. 'I hope those to make up' Hestia thinks shaking her head going to get ready for her job.

3 hours later

Wade and Zoro wake up as they both sit up they look at each other and then look away. They both get up and do there own routine both eating a potato and getting ready for the day. After 30 minutes of complete silence Wade breaks the the accumulated silence between them first.

"Lets just go to the guild first and register to get it over with." Wade says not looking at Zoro grabbing a pillow case on the way out.

"Whatever." Zoro says also not looking at Wade.

They both walk out of the church and head to the guild not even sparing a glance at each other as they walk as silence overwhelms there bodies once more. After walking a while they arrive as they look for Rose. Seeing her tending to a adventurer they make there way over too her and after waiting for hear to be done with a adventurer they walk up to her. Rose finishes and looks at the two and greets them properly.

"Good morning I assume you have enough for the entrance fee?" she inquires too the both of them and they nod. Seeing this she directs them to a private room for them to pick up where they left off yesterday. They make there way to the room and all have a seat after they sit down and get comfortable Rose goes first.

"Well I assume you have the necessary amount for the fee." she says holding out her hand. Seeing this Wade pulls out 1000 valis from his inventory and gives it to rose holding out her hand and receiving all the valis she speaks.

"Very well now that the fee is settled lets pick up where we left off I will be Zoro's assigned advisor as such I will warn him of the following, Firstly I have to warn you of the dangers of the dungeon as going in there even the first floor is a risk, Second the guild is not responsible for you death for your untimely death in the dungeon, Third if you have a complaint about the adventurers or the god's disrupting your dungeon exploration with the correct evidence and proof the guilty party will be handled with accordantly, Fourth adventures are advised to explore the dungeon floors accordance to there own skills and levels if you do not have the necessary information it will be provided to you by the guild, and lastly adventurers are advised not to go into the dungeon without proper equipment and if adventurers doesn't have the appropriate equipment the guild can provide you the right armor and weapons at a set price as for what I said do you two have any questions." Rose says finishing looking at the two for confirmation. They both nod there heads as they don't have any questions Rose nods and continues.

"Very well since Zoro is a level 1 that is just starting out I strongly recommend going through only floors 1-4 and getting acclimated to the dungeons as goblins and cobalt's are the easiest and meant for beginners to get a sense of a life and death battle." Rose says waiting for confirmation to continue while both still looking at her as Rose has been the only one speaking this entire time. Rose see's the two actually paying attention without talking and gets a little suspicious as the other day Wade wouldn't shut up and Zoro would either look at him while shaking his head or roll his eyes dozing in and out of there conversation but they seem oddly different today. Rose just thinks they're intently listening to her and she continues however Wade and Zoro have been actually not listening to her this entire time and have been in there own world.

'Why did this system haft to summon this fricken prick.' Wade thought really dissatisfied with everything that has to do with gacha wondering why he didn't get a busty beauty and instead got a hot headed lazy swordsman.

'Dyeing was better than the constant headache inducing self proclaimed god that fucking summoned me here.' Zoro thought dissatisfied with whatever put him next to this weirdly dressed idiot.

"When you decide to descend the dungeon the guild can issue you a map of the floors that have been recorded so far, and if you decide to have a map we can provide you with a map of the upper floors of course for a price." Rose says and Wade ears perk up when he hears map and is the first to speak up since they got here speaks up.

"Can the map have instructions in big bold letters that are helpful for even children that don't even know how to read." Wade said sarcastically Rose hearing this lifts her eyebrow.

"Trouble in paradise?" Rose inquires and this time Zoro chips in.

"Paradise more like endless mind inducing torture." Zoro scoffs at the idea that being next to this dim-wit is considered a place of happiness.

"Better than being dead." Wade retorts

"Constant silence for eternity seems better than 2 days with you." Zoro shoots back

"Trust me it isn't all its hyped up to be." Wade says as he knows what death is.

"Oh yea and how would you know." Zoro says not believing that he would know death.

"Well because I've experienced it first hand." Wade says recalling a bad memory.

"Sure you have." Zoro says rolling his eyes in sarcasm as he thinks if he was dead he wouldn't be making his life so difficult right now. Rose experiencing first hand these two going back and forth has had enough.

"Listen if your relationship is having troubles that's what couples counseling is for telling your problems to your advisor is inappropriate as I am not qualified in this department." Rose says in a straight face. Both Wade and Zoro make a disgusted face and reply in unison once again.

"GROSS!" they shout with disgust of the idea of them being together as they don't swing that way. Rose hears this nods her head in confirmation but in her mind is still not convinced in their words in the slightest but just nodding out of curtesy.

"Well would you like to buy a map and the necessary information for the upper floors?" Rose says having here daily fill of the two idiots.

"I'll take the map he'll need it." Wade says directing his hostility towards Zoro.

"Tsk" Zoro clicks his tongue in announce.

"Very well floors 1-4 will be 1000 valis and if you want the complete map of the upper floors that will be 5000 valis." Rose says standing up and heading towards the maps but waiting to pick the one that they want. Wade hesitates because on one hand he wants to just laugh and deny Zoro and watch him fail as he comes running back apologizing however Zoro is still in his familia and he's technically responsible for him and after pondering for a while finally makes his decision.

"I'll take the map for 1-4." Wade says resolutely because they can barley afford the map for 1-12 however he knows that Zoro's bad with directions but he can't be as bad with a map right? Zoro hearing this calms down a little and looks at Wade thinking that at least he's giving him something that will help him in the dungeon. Rose nods and reaches for the map for 1-4 as Wade takes out 1000 valis.

"Here you go, please ask the guild if you need anything, and we will do our best to assist you." Rose says as she takes the money and bows handing the map to Wade. He takes it and nods and walks towards the door, Zoro also nods at Rose and heads for door as well. They both walk out of the Guild and Wade looks Zoro and actually speaks.

"I'm guessing you want to go to the dungeon?" Wade asks not knowing if broccoli head wants to go or not.

"Yeah over the past 2 days I have accumulated so much stress and anger that the dungeon sounds like the perfect way to help me vent it all out." Zoro says in a condescend tone looking sideways at Wade. Wade scoffs and walks towards the dungeon as Zoro walks side by side with him.

After about a 20 minute walk of awkward silence they reach the dungeon opening as they see it bustling with adventurers all willing to sacrifice their lives for riches and glory. Wade stops as he extends the map and pillow case to Zoro which he raises a eyebrow and Wade explains.

"This pillow case is for collecting the monster drops, this is so you don't get lost because I cant be by your side 24/7 telling you were to go, and I'll be here in around 5 hours waiting to walk you back to the church." Wade says with pure intentions however Zoro takes this as a insult.

"Do you think I'm a lost child that cant remember anything, you only met me 2 days ago and yet you act as you know me personally, and I can find my way back myself I don't need you acting like my baby sitter." Zoro says having enough with Wade and his accusations.

"Fine I was only doing it to be helpful but whatever get lost for all I care maybe you'll learn a thing or to and stop acting so immature!" Wade says also having enough with Zoro taking his kindness for granted. Zoro scoffs swiping the map and pillow case and heading for the dungeon. Wade see's this and turns around walking back to the church.

'Tsk I'll show him' Zoro thinks to himself as he going to prove Wade wrong just to see the look on his face.

'Tsk whatever even if Zoro has a bad sense of direction in One Piece this is different, this isn't a anime it cant be as bad as they made it out to be, and even with a map the odds of him getting lost are low' Wade thinks to himself walking clearly annoyed by Zoro's action and stops. 'Right?' Wade thinks as he knows a little about One Piece and one of the running jokes is Zoro getting lost all the time but he shakes his head thinking that its all overexaggerated and doesn't put any more thought into it.

'Right?'