Wait, I'm a girl?

Remember your first hangover? Cause it feels like I had mine all over again.

After waking up to the seemingly worst morning ever I tried to open my eyes. Problem is that I couldn't. Wondering what was going on I put my hand to my face to see if something was covering it.

...

Yeah, nothing's moving. It's not just my hand either. Struggling and wriggling around, I can't seem to move an inch. Or at least it feels like it.

Is this one of those out-of-body experiences? You know, the ones you always find stories about on the internet? Well, let me tell ya, it's not as scary as those stories make you believe. In fact, it's way scarier! I feel like I'm losing my mind! If it wasn't for the fact that my bodily control is currently out of business I would have very likely have pissed my pants already. I wonder if I should call that a blessing in disguise, or a cruel reminder of my situation.

Shira*

The light, ohhh, the light. Sweet mama, that's the stuff.

Seemingly I just wasn't able to open my eyes.

Greedy for more of that heavenly luminescence I give it my all to open these damn, heavy eyelids. I don't know how long it took, but they suddenly began giving in. Honestly, to me, it felt like an eternity, though in reality, it might only have taken a few seconds.

Bewbs*

Gods, what might this lush landscape be? Heaven? Maybe that heavenly light from earlier really was Heavenly, at least I would believe it.

Pat*

Ahh, an angel's touch. That is the only way I can describe it. True bliss, I tell ya.

"What is wrong with the baby, why isn't it crying?"

Crying? Me? Baby, I'm having the time of my life!

Ignoring everything around me while trying to enjoy these beautiful hills, I ignore the outcry that is going on around me. I mean, can you blame me? So what if I'm seemingly a baby now? Like I care! I'm exhausted from that existential crisis just now. Right now, I just want to melt into these bountiful mounds. As they say, "ignorance is true bliss". And I can't agree with that more than I do now.

Well, at least before I came to a forced goodbye with those tantalizing hills. Next, I found myself in the hands of some old man that is spanking my bottom.

Hey old man, don't touch the goods, okay? Those sweet buns are none of your property!

spank*

I'm not playing into that S&M play of yours, you hear me! Well, at least, I would have liked that to be the case! I feel like if this continues, something in me is going to awaken. Help, police, this old man is defiling my body and soul!

This continues for a while, as I do my best to not move at all. Somehow, I feel like if I try to do something now I would truly succumb. The me of yesterday would not be the same as the me of tomorrow. I will really change!

First I'm scared, then, when I think I'm safe, I'm put in this horrifying situation. Gods, if you really exist, why do you torture mortals with trials like this? Rather, why did you chose me of all people to be on the receiving end!? Ahh, I knew I used up all my luck on that gacha last night. And now the heavenly dept-collectors are coming after me! but even so, I will not give in! ...Or at least, I thought so...

"My darling girl, are you okay!?"

Suddenly I notice for the first time that soothing voice belonging to those wonderful tressures from earlier. But that is of no worry, nor the worried look on her face. What took my breath away was the content of what she just said.

Darling girl? girl... oh no.

Quickly I look down, begging for it not to be true.

...

Not there. It's not there. My son, my little brother, my tent stick. It does not matter what you call it, for it is not there. One could say that out of all the things I felt from this rollercoaster of emotions, this takes the cake.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"(My magnum D***g is missing!!)