prologue

Dear Sam

You're the least person I should be writing too but I find myself drawn to do this for some personal twisted reasons of gaining inner satisfaction, also I thought it would be extremely rude and a real shame for me to leave without saying my farewell and goodbye to you, the girl I lived most of my growing years, believing to be my soul mate and a sister from another mother ... How can i ever forget the good old days we had? before the storm came knocking and tore us apart, they were the most beautiful moments of our lives that I would cherish and take along with me to the grave, I'm sure you will agree with me on that, if not on anything else.

It's been raining for days now and it doesn't seem like it will stop anytime soon, It feels like the sky is weeping for the impending doom I see looming over Ashville College, or maybe it's just the one looming over me because in the end I'm all alone, you made that very clear the last time we spoke.

I remember you never used to like it when it rain, you hated the storm, lightning and thunder that came with it, you hated how unsettling it makes you feel. You said it gives you the forbearing feeling that something sinister is lurking around the corner. I never believed in those fears of yours, I was convinced it had to do with the trauma you suffered from nearly drowning the summer before high school... Remember you told me all about it.

But today, for the first time in my life, I was forced to see things from your perspective while staring out of my window to behold the angry splatters and dark skies, even the earth is wary from drinking so much it has now refused to drink any more. And finally I found myself accepting the bitter truth as I can no longer deny the facts and the clear sign before me, I can't escape the inevitable no matter how hard I run even though I'm scared of it. My time is up sam, I swear I can feel it in every fibre of my bone.

Hence the reason for writing to you, I thought it best I tidy up my affairs and clear my conscience before the grim reaper comes and hurdles my damned soul to "the darkest pit in hell".

Samantha Adepoju Coker. You somehow managed latched on to the core of my existence and became that part of me I can't seem to get rid off no matter how hard I tried, not even when the tables turned on us. it pretty ironic that i still find myself caring so much for you, so much that even in death I won't be able to feel any less about you, you'll always remain that girl I fell in love with at first sight, that girl that shows me how unnecessarily prejudiced and judgemental I've been towards her kind all my life, but now I see I was right to have been that way and I should have remained that way, I should have remained unswayed, but it's too late now, too late to cry when milk is spilled. Now my end is here, history will remember us once an inseparable pair, remember you as my best friend, but also, the sole architect of my downfall, my doom, my ending... I bet you already know all of this deep down in your heart

I really want to go on with an untainted memory of you engraved in my heart, as it should be but I can't help that my blood is humming your name restlessly in protest, I don't want it too but it seems to have developed a mind of it own. 

I can't help that every drop of blood in my body is boiling hot for justice, crying for the pain and anguish you mercilessly brought upon me, you might not know this but I know exactly what that means.

I know for sure that the guilt of your misdeeds will slowly eat you up like cancer, consume you whole like a hungry shark until you crumble into nothing, crumble into fragmented pieces and end up like just me... Dead for good. And when that time finally comes, I will be waiting for you at the other side, in the burning flames of hell, waiting to receive you to the doom you sentenced me too.

Goodbye sis.

Your's waitingly

With lots of love

From Ini bear