Chapter 7

TW: Self Harm

Dream POV

I feel guilty for leaving George in the living room. I shouldn't have kissed him on his first night here.

You're such an idiot to do that. why?

I walk away from the door and sit down onto my bed.

He doesn't like you.

The tears start to fall.

Shut up. He said he didn't mind.

But he did. He just didn't want to tell you.

I look down to my wrist.

Doing that's not going to solve your life problems.

Well, at least I can try.

"Clay? Are you okay?" George is on the other side of the door.

Fine. Do it. It's not like I can stop you.

I dig my nail into my wrist and ignore the pain. It doesn't mean anything. Its never meant anything. George speaks again.

"Clay? Please let me in. Please." His voice is wobbly like he's about to cry. I take my hand away from my wrist, watching the blood start to trickle from the wound. I don't want to make him hurt.

Maybe I should let him in.

What do you think he's going to say when he sees what you've done? After all your hard work to stay clean?

I take a deep breath in. I need to stop. Stop ruining all the work I've done with being clean.

The tears fall harder when I hear him again. He's now crying. It's breaking my heart.

"Clay! Please. I need to know that you're okay. Pl-ease." I slowly stand up, walk over to the door, and take another deep breath. My hand moves without my consent and unlocks it. George hears the lock and opens the door. His face is red and blotchy from crying, and my sweatshirt sleeves are wet from his tears. I'm holding my still bleeding arm behind my back. I look down at him, resisting the urge to pull him into a tight hug.

"Are y-you okay?" I ask him. He looks up at my face with a pleading look. My heart snaps.

"I w-wanted to m-make sure you're o-okay. You locked the door."

"Sorry, I freaked out-" I start to say before he grabs the arm behind my back. I rip it away, giving him a look of surprise.

"What's that on your arm?" He almost looks angry. I freeze.

"Its uh- um, nothing. Just a scratch."

Great job. You think he's going to believe that? wooooooooww

"Clay, that's obviously not a scratch. It's bleeding and there are other scars that look like it on your other wrist. Is this your way of coping?" He seems to know what he's talking about.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shiiiiitttttttttt.

Well, you better tell him now buddy.

I silently curse the voice and return my mind to George.

"I've been trying to stop for months. there's always a setback and it makes life even harder. I blame myself for everything I do. This last week has taken a huge toll on my life emotionally, considering there's a fucking voice in my head that makes me want to kill myself, and I'm impulsive. Yes, that is my way of coping." He face looks petrified.

"C-clay oh my god I-i didn't know you were hurting so much. Is there any way I can help you?" I start crying again, and I step into his arms. He starts rubbing circles on my back and I melt into the hug. I want this to last forever.

"I can help. You're going to be okay," He mumbles into my chest. A smile spreads across my face and I rest my chin on his head. We stand there for a minute before George releases. He takes his hand and cups my cheek in it, staring into my eyes again.

"Can I leave you for a minute without you breaking down again?" He chuckles. I nod at him. He walks off into his room, probably going to unpack.

I walk back into my room, leaving the door slightly open for Patches to come in if she wants to. I don't know what just happened in the last few minutes. A roller coast- no, multiple tsunamis of emotions. I love him, though I resist to tell him because of the voice.

I wish I could tell him how I feel. I mean, I can tell him, If that fucking voice leaves me alone.

I'm back agaiiinnnnn. Yah he is definitely not going to like you back. That kiss meant NOTHING. Maybe keep those thoughts away from him. For like, forever probably.

Shut the fuck up.

Ummmm no. You can't make me gooOOOOoooooo.

Why can't you let me love? What's so wrong with that?

Oh well, it's my job.

Please just leave me alone for now. I just want to be away from you for once, even if you'll never go.

Fine, fine, I'll be back later though.

"Clay, helloooooo, you there?" George is standing In my doorway again, leaning one arm on the doorframe. I nearly laugh at his awkward pose.

"What? What's wrong? Need help unpacking?" I stand up from where I was sitting on my bed, throwing my phone to the side.

"Are we ever going to actually watch the movie? Like now I wanna see it," He's showing a curious smile. Of course.

"I mean, we don't have to," He starts turning to walk out into the living room.

"Yes! Yes, I want to watch it!" I follow after him, pushing the deep dark thoughts away, including the voice. He's starting to get on my nerves.

Word count: 932

Guys, I need a name for this voice. It NEEDS a name. Also maybe a persona. LMKKKKKK. (I already have an idea but I wanna hear yours.) Also, i had to cut the chapter short cause its going on and on and on. but here is the chapter, and I hope you like it.

Have a good day/night

-TechnoBee