Chapter 024

[SHOUKO KOMI'S POV]

From the first day of my middle school, I tried my best to make friends but due to my communication disorder I have to face many difficulties... Even I tried my best...

On my first day of High school, I swear to myself that today I will definitely make my first friend, as there will be only girls in this school... But...

As soon as I entered the school gate, I got nervous and anxious; as the people tried to approach me and I just made my worst first impression of my high school life... But even though, I didn't get that much unmotivated because I have a feeling that, today I will definitely befriend someone...

So, after that I reached the entrance of the building, where shoe locker is located. It is common in every school to wear indoor shoes inside the school... I opened my shoe locker and then... I met with my first friend of my high school, or my life...

"Good Morning"

I heard a male voice, coming from the direction of my left side. I rapidly turned my head in the voice's direction; the voice is coming from none other than, this school's only male student and who is in same year, Kaneki Ren... He has a nice face, I think. But I have never seen anyone has an expression like him... He has red eyes but there is no light in it, his expression on his face tells that he is tired of everything...

"G-g-g-g—go--"

I acted just like I always did... What do I do? I am afraid because he is looking directly in my eyes... So, I ran away from there and reached my respective class as soon as possible... I again ran away, just as I did with many people...

I easily find my bench, so I sat down there...

After few minutes, a black haired woman entered in the classroom, it looks like she will be our sensei, this year... We greeted her, she did back... As she was going to say something, she noticed that there are still two seats empty, means there are two students missing... She sighed slightly and then went straight to the door, and stood there...

We have to wait for about five minutes until we all heard a boy's voice, coming from where the sensei is standing... And when I heard his voice, my mind again went to the interaction I had with him just a few minutes ago.

After two minutes, the other student, who was late like him, also came as we all heard her voice also, clearly... They both entered the class, in the order, the girl first and then the boy... The girl has some tint on her face, 'is she not feeling well?' I wanted to ask her but I couldn't...

The boy sits at the seat next to me, while the girl sits behind him at the back...

The classmates around him are Yukinoshita-san, Horikita-san and Shikimori-san. I got to get their names because he greeted all of them one by one, and it seems they know him from past...

I also wanted to say at least 'hello' to my seatmates; Kaneki-san to my back, Sato-san to my right, Yuigahama-san to my left and Matsushita-san to my front... But I –

"Oh, hello..."

As I was lost in my thought, I heard his voice again and to which there is no response came... So I turned my face to see him, to find out that he is looking at me... Does that mean he is greeting me? What should I do...? I again went all nervous, and in the end didn't even answer him, he looked at me about more than one minute, but as he didn't got any reply. He turned his away from my direction... I am sorry.

After that he didn't said anything to me, in past I had shown this behaviour with all the people, except my family, and after some time they gradually stop talking with me... I am truly sorry, everyone...

And he seems to be like them, as he also didn't even ask anything while he rather asks from his 'seatmates'... It's for the best because if he asks from me I will again act like I act with him until now...

..

At lunch break, my surroundings again became same like the morning, about 5-6 classmates are around my seat trying their best to talk with me but I am so much nervous that I can't even listen their half of the things, they are talking, clearly.

...

When all the classes ended, I raised my head, which was down most of the time in last class, because my mind can't seem to focus clearly in the class due to the fact that I was embarrassed all the time...

In last period, sensei called me and asked a question saying, 'Komi-san, answer this question. You all have already studied this topic in your junior high school, right?' and the main reason of her calling me is because she was asking randomly from anyone in the class. So, this time it is me. I stood from my seat, went to the blackboard and wrote the answer... Everyone's gaze was on me, so I became more flustered there...

The embarrassing thing of it was that the answer was one-word answer and sensei wanted the answer from my mouth, but I make my way to the blackboard and wrote it down... Even though sensei didn't said anything, but still...

But the main wish of mine is –

"I wish I could speak and make friends..."

I muttered to myself as I see that, in front of me, there are no other students except me... Now, I can say anything I want if there is no one around but I have to try my best tomorrow as I will definitely make a friend tomorrow --

"Oh, it's you"

I heard a voice coming from my left side and it's a male voice, so I know whose voice is this, Kaneki-san...

I should have checked my surroundings, now what should I do? I got nervous again and my whole body started to shiver at the thought that now my whole high school is going to be same as the middle school and junior high school...

As I was thinking about my school life, I quickly stood up from my seat, grabbed my bag and just as I started to run away... A firm hand grabbed one of my hands, which caused me to stop at my tracks... My eyes got moist as I see his eyes, I don't know but I am scared....

I tried my best to resist but his hand's grip didn't lose its strength even a single bit...

"sob sob"

I started to cry, I don't know why but my eyes got watery and some tears ran through my cheeks... But when I heard his next words, I was able to calm myself even though it's a little bit...

"Oh no, don't cry. I am sorry but you have to at least try to shout for help or just swing your bag at me and then just ran away from here. You should have tried that Komi-san"

"..."

I nodded my head to show that what he is saying is right... Then he loosened his grip on my hands, and now my hands are free. As I have still some moist in my eyes, I took out my handkerchief and cleaned my eyes while looking down at the ground...

"Komi-san?"

I heard him called out my name, so I raised my head and then my eyes met with his red eyes for the first time... He hummed for a quite time while holding his chin, but I just can't get my eyes away from him. This is the first time for me...

"Do you have any communication disorder?"

He asked still making the eye contact with me; I also seem to not be able to cut eye contact... So, I just nodded at his words...

"And sorry for eavesdropping but I heard that you want friends? Am I right?"

I again nodded at his words.

"Hmmm, how many friends do you want to have?"

As he asked this, I thought that this question requires me to answer verbally... But I have lost the strength to speak as I decided to speak. Why? I tried my best to open my mouth, but still I can't... So, I just walked to the blackboard, picked up the chalk and wrote the answer to his question...

'I wanted to have 100 friends'

I write that I want 100 friends, I know this sound absurd but I will definitely make it... Even not today, nor tomorrow then it will be next day, or next week or next year... I will –

As I was thinking in my head, I heard a 'squeal' sound which is definitely the sound a chalk makes but I didn't write anything... So I turned my face and find out that, Kaneki-san also has a chalk in his hand and it looks like he has written something on the board...

'I will become your first friend!'