A World of Dungeon Divers

My name was Micheal Destar. Let me tell you my story. I used to be a regular person, living on the planet of earth. I was neither an orphan nor was I some virtuous person working for the betterment of humanity. In fact, I was totally normal. I hated school. I used to go out and party with my friends and had fun. I wasn't a criminal but neither was I a totally law-abiding. I mean come on, drinking some liquor while under 18? Smoking some weed? It didn't make me a bad person.

I used to do my job, which I totally hated. I mean working 8.5 hours a day, 5 days a week so my boss could buy himself a new car? Yeah no. It just wasn't something I enjoyed. So sometime during my life I lost my job and didn't have any incentive to really get another one. While I still had some money I relaxed for the next few years. Using the government provided jobless money to enjoy a life of not having to work.

But we all know that nobody was going to give me money forever. So I slowly came to the point I knew money and therefore food and a place to sleep would become a problem. But yeah, let that shit be the problem of future me. So with the last bit of money I had, I went out and bought a new game to waste some more hours of my life.

After buying the game I got back to my soon to be lost flat. Which was, by the way, full of garbage and dirty dishes. Yeah, cleaning too wasn't my cup of tea. Shit just took away time I could use for gaming, watching movies or reading. So not going to do it. Fuck that.

Arriving home I took out one of the last few cans of cheap beer I had and installed the newly bought game „Dungeon Divers". And because I already knew I wouldn't have much more money left over I bought the Collectors Edition. You know those. Cost double than the normal game and give you some useless shit the gaming companies already made without extra effort but idiots (like me) would still pay extra so they get a funny little bear following them around without further use.

Yeah, I'm no fan of capitalism. Mind you, I enjoyed the easy life capitalism brought me but that didn't keep me from raging against all those fortune 500 companies for abusing the workforce or third world countries. Not that I would do something against it. Too much work without payoff you know. I mean I could go out and take part in those demonstrations or something. But neither would it pay my bills nor would it get my dick wet. Yeah, I was a virgin by that time FYI.

It's not that I didn't try to whoo a girl you know? But either I was totally incompetent or I just radiated the air of someone who wouldn't make something of himself. Ok, I'm going to stop this useless rant and go back to the core of things.

After the game finished installing and I was on my last can of beer (the 12. by the way.) and pleasantly buzzed, I could finally start the game. Double-clicking the icon on my desktop, which was somewhat hard as there seemed to be four icons wobbling around. But I managed! Yeah me!

So starting the game. Not interested in the pictures of all those shitty companies which sponsored the game, I had to wait another 2 minutes and then I could click the „Start New Game" option.

There was a lengthy introduction of how the world was one of Sword and Magic.

How there were Dungeons in which people could grow stronger and find riches.

Then there was an introduction about the races and how they worked. You know standard fantasy stuff. Humans, Elves, Dwarfs, Beastkin, Demons, Dragons, and all that.

How the world was controlled by different Kingdoms and the Nobels were the safe keepers of the world. Yeah, I had to laugh at that. Nobles and doing something for the betterment of the world. That was like saying the companies in fortune 500 were doing something about the famine in Africa, or that politicians worked for the betterment of their people, or Newscompanies being objective. Just fucking laughable. I shit you not, I almost fell off my chair laughing so hard.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I would act differently. Shit, I would probably abuse that kind of power even worse (all in the name of doing it for my loved ones or some imaginary god or some other shit), but since I was the little man I have the right to rant right?

Shit, I once again went down the deep end.

Where was I? Ah yeah starting a new game. So first off, character creation! The first point was choosing a race. There were all the races possible in the game for choosing. So I could choose to be a Dragon or a human. But being a dragon seemed boring. Being the overlord and not having a humanoid form just turned me off. Then Human. Yeah, I was that shit for the last 30 years. Not going to play as one as well. That's just plain idiotic.

Demons. Hmm. They normally were either the antagonists or the scapegoats for human supremacy. Not going down that road, though I wouldn't mind having a sexy succubus in my party. If you know what I mean.

Dwarfs are out too. Fucking midgets. They should just make me some awesome weapons.

That was when I realized there was a button glowing gold in the bottom left. "Halflings"

Seemed to be an option thanks to the overpriced version I bought. So that's what I chose. Then I could choose to mix two races and I would be able to combine them and get buffs from either race. So thinking about it I needed something which combined a magical race with a physical one. That way I can become an Archmage and still hit stuff with my fists. Hmm. Let's see. The most magical race would be Elf. Oh, I see. I can combine and be an Elf Orc. That would be awesome. I would be extremely handsome without being overly feminine. Half-Elf-Orc get!

Oh! My avatar now looks like a martial artist with just a hint of some tusks but a handsome face and a long fat orc dick. Yeah, I dig that. I randomized around for a bit and settled on an avatar looking really fit but still had less obvious orc features (except for the dick obviously. Every man needs a long fat orc dick.). Looking good sir.

So what was next? Ah, Job. I fucking hate jobs.

Oh wait it doesn't mean becoming a clerk. Pheww.

There were basically two jobs. Combat and Support. Combat included everything with combat, from Warrior to mage. Support included everything from Healer to Blacksmith. That is another hard question. I usually played Tank or healer in RPGs. Though I suck at both. Wait a moment! There's another golden option! "Versatile". What the hell is Versatile?

Oh, I understand now. With Versatile I can switch between classes of both jobs! Ha! Finally something worth my money. Versatile it is. I mean that seems like a cheat right? It must be. Choose. Choose. Choose.

Next was to choose a class and since I could freely change between classes thanks to my Versatile Job I just picked the Warrior class first.

Classes worked differently than in other games. Instead of giving you stat points to spend they automatically made you stronger, gave more mana, more health, etc. There were no Stats like strength obvious through the system.

After picking my class the game said I had to choose my Traveler perk. Apparently gamers were known as travelers and beings from another world so they gained a perk from the gods which made them unique in the world.

Thanks again to me spending more money then necessary I could choose three.

There were all kinds of perks from stuff like additional strength to a better relationship with different parties. In the end, I chose the "Unlimited Inventory" because fuck carrying stuff around, "Secondary Class", and "Third Class". It was like I just became even more of a cheat. I could now have three classes in total. Each giving me bonuses and skills. Fucking OP shit. For a moment I was thinking if this was a web novel?

The last thing I needed to do before starting the game was to choose a name. As usual, I went with my regular gamer name Rolas Arley.

With everything ready, I clicked the button "Enter World". Suddenly my vision turned dark and I saw a message on the screen saying "Transporting to the new World. Have Fun" Than everything went dark and with "Fuck, I drank too much beer again" as my last thought I lost consciousness.