Chapter 82: Manufacturing Hell Money

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"What?! Thirty thousand Mora for one coffin? Are you muggers?!"

"Forget it, I'll just save up enough for my own casket before kicking the bucket... Waaah..."

"Can we buy the phone separately? I don't need the coffin!"

"Cough cough, quiet down!" Hu Tao cleared her throat, looking as if she wanted to say more but held back with a sigh. "Alas, death is inevitable for all since time immemorial—even the Emperor of Rock himself..."

"Well, when you put it that way, it makes sense!"

"It does indeed, but my house is so small. Should I dismantle my bed to make room for a coffin and sleep in there at night?"

"That's not a bad idea! When your time comes, just close the lid—how convenient!"

***

"Our Wangsheng Funeral Parlor offers coffin pre-order services, so there's no need to lug them home yourselves. Once your soul ascends to the heavens, have your family bring the purchase receipt to us at the funeral parlor!"

"We'll dispatch our professional team to handle all arrangements for you. We guarantee the most attentive service and utmost comfort!"

Hu Tao earnestly addressed the crowd, eloquently delivering her pitch.

"Why do I suddenly feel a chill...?"

"Oh well, for a phone, sign me up for a coffin!"

Finally, someone took the plunge like the first crab-eater, leading others to follow suit, increasing steadily in numbers.

***

Gradually, the crowd dispersed, and Hu Tao successfully sold all one hundred phones she had brought.

"Phew..." Finally exhaling with relief, Hu Tao wore a broad smile on her face.

"Director... Why were so many people buying coffins just now? Did something happen?" Zhongli looked at Hu Tao, mildly questioning her.

"Oh, nothing much. I just offered free phones with each coffin purchase, hehe!" Hu Tao chuckled, feeling quite proud of her brilliant decision.

"Phones?" Zhongli cast a puzzled gaze at Hu Tao, surprised to encounter something unfamiliar despite his vast knowledge.

"Wow, there's actually something you don't know! Hehe!" Hu Tao grinned mischievously at Zhongli.

"In accordance with universal reason, even Gods cannot comprehend every aspect of existence, let alone an ordinary person like myself!" Zhongli shook his head, calmly explaining.

"Alright, enough teasing. Here, it's this!" Hu Tao smiled and handed her phone to Zhongli.

Zhongli took the phone, used it briefly with curiosity, then remarked, "It resembles Sumeru's Akasha Terminals but appears more secure, at least not prone to..."

He shook his head, leaving the sentence unfinished.

"Huh, you've been to Sumeru before? What did you do there?" Hu Tao immediately pestered Zhongli with questions.

With a wry smile, Zhongli realized he couldn't evade Director's persistence; it seemed he would have to concoct a story for her.

***

"What? Gathering people's memories to rerun the Tree King's repository of knowledge..." Hu Tao looked at Zhongli with disbelief written all over her face.

"It's just a story; its veracity remains uncertain. I read about it in a book!" Zhongli shook his head and replied mildly.

"Ah, this hallmaster thought it was possible, then we could have made you two..." Hu Tao sighed, feeling quite helpless.

Suddenly, observing Zhongli's expression, she burst out laughing. "Zhongli, I've got a brilliant idea—would you like to give it a try?"

"What kind of idea?" Taken aback, Zhongli knew well the Director's quirky schemes from past experiences.

"Well, how about drawing your portrait on paper, calling it funeral money, and burning it for the deceased?" Hu Tao grinned mischievously at Zhongli.

"Uh... according to universal rationality..." Before Zhongli could finish, Hu Tao interrupted him.

"As a guest scholar of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, I'm making the decision! If you don't agree, I'll seize your payment and refuse to settle your account!" Hu Tao looked at Zhongli, using laughter as a veiled threat.

"Fine!" Zhongli reluctantly nodded, realizing that even heroes can be undone by mere finances!

"Although funeral money serves no practical purpose, it fulfills their desire to send heartfelt wishes to their departed loved ones, doesn't it?" Hu Tao's expression turned serious. Since the dead cannot return, it is crucial for the living to cherish each day moving forward.

Swiftly, Hu Tao began drawing funeral money. In no time, she finished a bill featuring Zhongli's portrait, albeit quite abstract.

"Aiyo, what a hassle!" Hu Tao sighed and then turned to look at Zhongli.

As soon as Zhongli noticed her gaze, an ominous feeling washed over him, prompting him to swiftly stand up.

"Zhongli, wait!" Hu Tao quickly called out to him, revealing a sly smile.

"W-What is it?" Zhongli paused, thinking, Oh boy, I can't handle this child! Xiao is much more sensible and well-behaved!

"I didn't draw it very well; it doesn't do justice to your dashing and handsome appearance!" Hu Tao looked crestfallen while gazing at Zhongli.

"Cough, Director, I don't mind!" Zhongli cleared his throat and shook his head gently.

"No, this hallmaster does mind!" Hu Tao shook her head with a grin, turning towards Zhongli. "In a moment, I'll smear ink on your face and press it onto paper, ensuring a perfect likeness!"

The corner of Zhongli's mouth twitched slightly. Being a god, how could he possibly...

"Zhongli, keep your eyes open; closed eyes won't work!"

"Mouth, your mouth should be serious, not all giggly!"

"Hmm... This one isn't bad, but next time will definitely be even better..."

***

Hu Tao held a stack of papers, pressing each sheet onto Zhongli's ink-covered face one by one. Occasionally, she even added more ink to his cheeks.

***

Around noon, Lin Feng was caught sneaking around to construct a signal base station near Liyue Harbor.

"Kid, you don't even have residency in Liyue and dare to cause trouble?"

"The Emperor's assassination attempt might be connected to you!"

"All these peculiar materials, seize them immediately!"

Lin Feng felt utterly stunned, thinking, I was just building a signal base station! Without it, all those phone features would become useless; how could I sell them then?!

"Cough, cough, gentlemen, can you please consider releasing me for the sake of the Stone King?" Lin Feng glanced at the three Millelith soldiers and discreetly handed each one a bag filled with Mora.

The Millelith weighed their options briefly before smiling. "Alright, we'll give you a chance to hire a lawyer. And here's some advice - Yanfei is Liyue's most renowned attorney!"

Nodding, Lin Feng followed the Millelith soldiers to Yanfei's residence.

"Ding-dong..." Lin Feng knocked on the door while the Millelith soldiers watched closely, ready to draw weapons if he showed any signs of escape.

Yanfei opened the door, looking exhausted from her all-night research on legal matters, which had left her mentally drained. The conflict between law and human ethics posed a difficult dilemma!

"Are you seeking assistance with contracts? My apologies, but I'm unavailable today!" Yanfei shook her head, intending to close the door.

"Wait, let me show you something first!" Lin Feng quickly stopped Yanfei and produced his smartphone.