It's a crush

Seraphina's Pov

I couldn't sleep.

I kept tossing and turning the whole night as the memory of Electra's lips on mine didn't stop replaying over and over in my mind.

 It wasn't just that it had been unexpected; it was the way it made me feel—feelings I didn't even know how to describe. I'd never been kissed before, not by anyone, and now that it had happened, I felt like my entire world had been thrown into chaos. 

The warmth of her breath, the intensity of the moment—it had left me shaken, confused, and maybe something else. Something I couldn't put a name on.

 It had taken everything in me to not fall apart the second I left her room. My heart had been pounding so hard, it felt like I'd been running a marathon, but even after I got back to my dorm, I couldn't stop the thoughts that kept running around in my head. 

 Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her standing there, dripping wet with her body exposed like some kind of ethereal goddess.

Why was she making me feel this way?

 Now, even while standing outside my room and waiting to see if Yuna would join me before class, I still felt just as disoriented as I had the night before. 

 I kept glancing down the hall, hoping Yuna would appear, but also dreading the moment I'd have to look her in the eye. 

Could I really tell her about what had happened with Electra? Could I even put it into words?

Part of me wanted to blurt it all out and to ask Yuna what these feelings meant. My heart was racing just thinking about it, but another part of me—the cautious part—wasn't sure if I should say anything at all.

 Electra hadn't told me to keep it a secret, but something about the way she'd kissed me and her attitude in general didn't feel like something I should talk about. 

And what would I even say? "Oh hey, Yuna, guess what? Electra, the most powerful and terrifying girl in this entire school, invited me to her room, got naked in front of me, kissed me, and now I can't stop thinking about it." 

Yeah, that would go over well.

I sighed, rubbing my arms as a chill settled over me. My head was a mess, and every time I tried to think about something else, my mind circled back to Electra. 

The way she had looked at me, the way she had smiled, knowing exactly what kind of effect she had.

Why couldn't I stop thinking about her?

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about Electra that I didn't even notice Yuna standing in front of me, and it wasn't until she tapped my shoulder that I finally snapped back to reality, blinking up at her face. 

 She gave me a curious look, tilting her head slightly.

"What were you thinking about so hard?" she asked, a faint smile playing on her lips.

I sighed, the question catching me off guard. I still didn't know what to say or how much I could say. 

"I'll tell you later," I replied tiredly. "I just... need to gather my thoughts first."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is it serious?" she asked.

I hesitated, then shrugged, not sure how to answer. "I'm not sure yet," I admitted. "I don't know if it is or not."

She nodded as if to say she understood, though I wasn't sure even I did. We started walking toward our class, and as we made our way down the hall, my attention was suddenly caught by two girls pressed up against a locker with their arms wrapped around each other and their lips locked in a kiss.

 They seemed completely oblivious to the world around them, and I couldn't help but stare, my mind immediately flashing back to Electra. I felt a familiar flutter in my chest, and for a moment, I could almost feel Electra's lips on mine again.

Yuna's soft laugh broke through my trance, and I felt her tap my arm again. "A little advice," she murmured. "You might not want to stare so much when you see things like that."

Embarrassed, I quickly looked away, feeling my cheeks grow warm. "Why not?" I asked, trying to play it cool even though my heart was still pounding. "They're the ones kissing in public. Isn't it normal to notice?"

She shrugged. "Well, sure, it's normal, but around here, it's better to pretend you didn't see anything. You never know who's watching, and if they get caught, you could get dragged into the mess."

  "Wait, so… what those girls were doing—kissing—isn't allowed?" I asked, wondering if I'd somehow missed the school's policies entirely.

Yuna shrugged, looking unbothered. "Technically, dating isn't allowed at Elysium," she replied. "But honestly, what teenage girl is going to follow a no-dating rule? It was practically made to be broken."

  The thought that dating was prohibited here hadn't crossed my mind, but beyond that, it was Yuna's casual tone that surprised me. She spoke about it like it was the most natural thing in the world and like she'd had her share of experience.

"Have you ever dated anyone here?" I asked, feeling a bit awkward. 

I don't know why I had assumed Yuna would be a bit of a novice like me when it came to dating. 

She chuckled at my question, giving me a sideways glance. "Outside of school, sure. I've been in serious relationships, mostly with men," she replied. "Here in Elysium? Well, I haven't had anything serious because no one wants to publicly date a snake, but I've had a few flings, mostly out of curiosity."

 My eyes widened, and before I could stop myself, I blurted, "You've had flings in this school? With other girls?"

Yuna laughed, clearly amused by my reaction. "Yeah, but it was nothing too serious. I was mostly curious to know what being with a girl would feel like." 

"And how was it? Being with a girl?" I asked. 

She shrugged. "It was...mindblowing. Definitely made me like men a little less, to be honest," she responded, and her response only made me even more curious.

 "But tell me, Sera, why are you suddenly so curious about being with a girl?" she asked, her tone teasing. "Have you even been with anyone before?"

I chuckled, shaking my head. "I mean, isn't it obvious?" I replied. "I have zero experience. Boys, girls—it's all uncharted territory for me."

She let out a dramatic sigh, shaking her head in mock disappointment. "That's a shame, especially for someone as pretty as you, Sera. Wasted potential, if you ask me."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't flatter me," I replied, nudging her shoulder. "But seriously, what's it even like? How do you know when you're attracted to someone? I mean, how does it feel?"

 Yuna shrugged, a thoughtful look crossing her face. "It's like this magnetic pull," she said, her hands gesturing as she spoke. "Being attracted to someone is like... well, you know how when you're standing by the ocean and a wave pulls you in? It's like that. It's intense, and you don't always see it coming. One minute, you're standing on solid ground, and the next, you're being swept away."

 As she spoke, my mind drifted back to Electra, to the way I'd felt so drawn to her. It was exactly how Yuna described—a pull that felt almost beyond my control.

 A part of me had been desperate to be near her, even when every instinct told me I should run, and before I knew it, the words were slipping out of my mouth. "So... if I can't stop thinking about someone all night and I have this weird urge to touch them, does that count as attraction?"

Yuna stopped mid-step, her eyes widening as she turned to face me. "Define 'touch,'" she said, her voice laced with curiosity.

I hesitated, suddenly feeling exposed. How could I explain the strange desire that had come over me in Electra's room?

  How could I put into words the way I'd wanted to reach out and feel her skin, just to know what it was like?

  Taking a deep breath, I finally said, "Well, imagine this: the person is… undressed, and you're there, just mesmerized by them. You're curious, and you feel this urge to… touch them. To know what their skin feels like. I don't know. It's this strange, overwhelming thing."

Yuna's mouth fell open, her eyes practically bugging out of her head. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," she said, blinking rapidly as if trying to process what I'd just said. "Okay, hold on. Are you telling me you have a crush on someone? Spill. Who is she?"

 Heat flooded my cheeks, and I quickly looked away, trying to hide the blush that was probably staining my face.

"I... it's not like that," I stammered, though even as I said it, I knew it wasn't entirely true. "I mean, I don't know if it's a crush. It's just... I can't stop thinking about her."

Yuna crossed her arms, a smirk playing at her lips. "You can't just drop that bomb and then go all vague on me. Who is it, Sera? You have to tell me!"

I swallowed hard, my heart racing. "Fine," I said quietly. "It's… it's Electra."