Im an Ugly Bastard in an NTR

This might all seem very cliché to you, reader. If you think that, I've got something to tell you. I know a little bit about creative writing, so you can trust me on this: there's nothing wrong with clichés, right? So long as they're done right, a cliché can work out great in any story. Hell, cliché was desirable.

I want my current situation to be cliché. I had occasionally fantasised before about being isekai-Ed. In daydreams during boring classes, I'd be magically transported via a violent truck collision to an easy fantasy world, becoming a handsome and overpowered hero with a game system that lets me easily level up. I'd dominate the competition, I'd be the greatest warrior of the land and build vast kingdoms in my name. Most of all, I'd be surrounded with a harem of beautiful women with big titties and big fat butts! I wanted to be Cliché and boring. I didn't want to be challenged. I wanted the easy life! I really did! But some cosmic force clearly had another plan for me.

I was alone in the en-suite bathroom of the master bedroom, nursing the bump on my head from falling down twice. Along with that, I was inspecting and feeling my new body with horror. Every new discovery elicited a hopeless whimper or devastated murmur... This evidently wasn't a Cliché isekai scenario. I eventually summed up the courage to stare into the mirror. My jaw went agape in shock, eyes threatening to brim with manly tears in despair at what I saw.

I was no tall, handsome hero. I was... I was.... a short man, pot-bellied. I was skinny-fat, my face was spotty and aged, my hair was thin and receded. My forehead was so big, I could rent it out as parking space. I had stick-out teeth. I had a long hook nose. My hairline was so far receded, like it was trying to go passport bro and desperately escape the ugly face below. I wasn't some manga hero. I wasn't even the villain, because the villain is typically hot, too. I was barely even the side villain! I was the random two-dimensional ugly guy from cliché romance manhwas who'd try to sexually assault the female protagonist and then get annihilated by the male love interest as a way to prove his heroism. My god, it was horrible! I'M AN UGLY BASTARD!!

My thoughts were stormy and delirious. I was dreaming, I knew this wasn't real, it couldn't be. This was a nightmare but I couldn't go back to sleep. I was plain before but SHEESH! This was a total downgrade and now my love life was over! Forget being NTR'd, I'd never have the opportunity to even get within five feet of a pretty girl without her calling the fucking Army on me! It was over for me, it was well and truly over! How could I return to my old body? I kind of know how these scenarios work, perhaps I could kill myself?! That sounds like a good idea! I could simply kill myself and wake back up in my old body! Hahahaha! Anything is better than being in this body, even being a cuck!

Maddened with despair, I plugged the bathtub. With a turn of my hand, water gushed out of the tap and quickly started flooding the tub. I reached for the hairdryer, plugging it in a socket just outside the en-suite and extending the cord as much as I could. After waiting, I climbed into the bathtub, cold water surging up to my waist, flicking the hairdryer on, air flowing through my wispy hair. I raised the hairdryer high above my head, ready to submerge it in the cold water and end my suffering.

"Goodbye, cruel world!" I shouted, tears streaming down my face.

I have to admit... I was being a little dramatic. I thought that was what people said before committing suicide. It was a pretty 'drama queen' thing to say, like you're trying to provoke a bystander to desperately shout from below, "No! Don't do it, you have so much to live for!" Personally, I wasn't looking for attention, I was just killing myself. But what I didn't expect is for someone to hear me.

"Honey? What are you talking about?"

A voice suddenly called from the corridor.

I perked up in the bathub. Huh?! Who the heck was that? Adrenaline and fear flooded me. A home invader was my first thought... But it sounded like a woman... What kind of woman was a home invader? Wait, no, look, women are just as good as men, they're perfectly cabale of being home invaders, robbers and murderers if they wanted! I don't know why I thought that, clearly Kaz had a nasty influence on me, I really should stop listening to-

A giggle echoed.

"Are you having a shower or something?"

Huh?! Oh, right! Shit, I totally got distracted. Adrenaline does a weird thing to you. I snapped out of my trance, stepping out of the bathtub nervously, shivering and dripping water, my boxers soaked. The soft footsteps bounded closer and closer. I approached the ajar door, holding the hairdryer like a gun.

"Who's there?!" I demanded, forcing confidence I didn't feel into my voice.

Laughter came from behind the door.

"What has gotten into you?" The voice said, calm and disarmingly chastising. I opened my mouth to say something else... but then the door opened. My jaw dropped. My eyes went wide like dinnerplates. Because now, a woman walked into my room. My mind just... Stopped working.

A hot woman walked in. A really, really hot woman. She had ivory pale skin, a perfect diamond face framed by luscious blonde locks, wearing nothing but a thin purple satin nightgown that swelled around her giant breasts, narrowing with her waist, cutting off just past so that her pale thick upper thighs were exposed. She smiled, straight white teeth on display, her deep blue eyes crinkling with genuine kindness... Oh, my god...

"It's your wife, silly!" She giggled.

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OOOOOOOOH MYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!

HOOOOOLYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!