Her (part 2)

"Can you walk? Can you talk?"

I asked again, and this time she snapped out. Light finally returned to her eyes, and she answered weakly.

"I-I can... I can walk."

Malnourishment, that is a problem. She won't be able to move much unless I do something about it.

"Drink this for now. It will help you run for a while."

I gave her the magic energy drink that allows mages to regenerate their strength. For mages, normally one needs to take three or four bottles until their energy is filled. But for non-mages like her, she only needed one.

After getting her energy back, I left the jail cell. But I noticed her not moving from her position.

"What is it that you want?"

Hearing her question, I stopped moving. As I expected, her soul was so exhausted, and she probably has given up on living.

But after seeing her actions from before, I know that she does not want to give up. She only needs… a little push.

"Don't give up… stay alive, don't give in."

I said to her as I shook her shoulder, but the light on her eyes was already disappearing. She is on the very edge of giving up.

"Please… just kill me. I don't--"

"No. Stay alive. Don't die, don't give up."

I tried once again, with even more energy in my words. I shook her shoulder even harder, and I even gritted my teeth.

I need to show her that life is not that easily given up. Even if you have lost everything, you still have to keep moving on because you still have something to keep moving forward for.

Especially her, who is not only the princess, but also the last surviving member of the ethelen race.

She has the hopes of her entire race on her back, and the rage for vengeance. If she gives up, then the ethelens have truly died.

But as long as she continues to move forward…

She nodded. Heavily.

As long as she stays alive…

Her people's dreams will continue to live.

We began our escape. I noticed that she is having some problems accepting me killing humans, because I saw her face going crazy when seeing blood.

But I can't help it. Killing these people… somehow made me feel better.

I have become a psychopath, and I liked it.

But her face… is rather troubled seeing human pieces.

Elicia is her name. The princess of Velborn, the last surviving ethelen.

If Gilbert wants you, then I will protect you from him. If the people want you dead, then I will make sure you stay alive.

If you want to take vengeance on me… or on the people, then I will gladly kill myself after slaying my own people.

But for now, we just need to get us to safety. The capital is no longer an option, and we have to leave. 

My idea is for us to go north, because there will be less knights hunting down ethelens on the north because the ethelens live in the south. After meeting Jack and receiving one final help from him, we marched towards Lionade, the city in the north.

"Rake Ignicius, right?"

She suddenly called for me in the carriage, and I immediately knew her intentions.

She will try to ask me about why I'm helping her.

I kept on silent, but she quickly called again.

"Rake Ignicius--"

"What?"

I did not mean to say it so suddenly… but it came out of my mouth anyway.

I don't have to turn around to notice that she got startled by that. Sorry.

But she moved on and immediately asked the question.

"Why are you… helping me?"

"I don't know."

I don't really know what to answer. Truthfully, I do know what to say. But saying that to her face will not help me one bit. So… I kept on lying.

She kept on pestering me to answer, but I kept on answering the same answer. Until finally, she gave up. And so the rest of the road is silent.

We finally arrived on Lionade, and it looks like the city is not as crowded as I thought. This is acceptable for us, who are hiding from the eyes.

But for us to be completely safe, we need to make ourselves known.

The dogs in the capital will soon take notice of our whereabouts anyway, so why not announce ourselves from the start?

Once they notice where we are, they will immediately send in the big guys to chase us down. Gilbert spent so much money transferring Elicia to the capital, there's no way he is not angry with me stealing her from him.

He will definitely… send the heroes.

So, we didn't really lay low, and we walked in broad daylight with just robes and masks that we bought. Using my money, I got her things that she might need for her survival. Since she just lost everything, it's understandable if she needed a new set of clothes.

We… argued a little about buying a magic staff. It was quite funny, since I've never really argued with girls before, I ended up being more aggressive than I had to.

In the end, she understood that the price was stupid, and we continued with the meal.

Elicia, who is the last survivor of the ethelen, has lived the past two days of her life being hunted down by human knights. There's no way she ate any normal food since the darkest night happens.

So seeing her going crazy over a simple and cheap street meal is a little… heartwarming.

Somehow the feeling of wanting to protect her grew inside me. I just want her to live peacefully once again, just as she was previously doing as a princess. I want to see her enjoy living once again, removing her previous dark emotionless self that I saw in that jail cell.

So, I did what I had to do, and made sure that nothing would ever come near her. I paid quite a lot of money to the adventurers guild, so that they would do a highest rank quest for us. The guild master is surprisingly smart, and I truly hope he won't backstab us.

If he does… he will be a rather difficult enemy to battle.

We both found an orphanage, and watching her deal with children is also one lovely sight to see. I'm not good with children, and I ended up making two of them cry for no reason. 

I did shut them up with gold coins so they won't complain to Elicia or the orphanage lady… that was indeed shameful.

We left the orphanage, and we went to an abandoned house in the middle of the woods. It was famous for being hunted, but apparently it's just a weird looking pig living there and possibly shooing away anyone that comes near.

Elicia was quite startled by the orc, which was quite funny.

But it was deafening because she screamed really loudly. I hate it when she does that.

And so… we settled down at the house. She cleaned up some of the rooms, and I was forced to deal with the dirtiest room of all… the bathroom.

I wondered how the butler would clean the bathrooms of the manor… there were so many bathrooms too, there is no way he is cleaning them up perfectly.

After cleaning the living room, I went upstairs and found Elicia staring at the sky from the window. Seeing her sitting on the floor and being shone by the moonlight somehow made me feel even worse.

Someone like her was living her life peacefully… and I took it all from her.

I took it… I was the one who made her suffer.

I bit my tongue slightly and changed my mind to something else. I walked closer to the door, and she noticed me coming.

"Why… are you helping me?"

And that question… appeared once again.

For your sake, I can't answer it.

For my case, I am not allowed to answer it.

Even though it sounded like me running away from reality…

I can't answer it, for both our sakes. It is so much better if we don't have the answer.

But she…

She is already reaching the limits of her patience.

Fast forward to ten minutes later, we have moved to the first floor. My entire body was beaten up so bad, and wounds are all over me. I fell from the second floor, wounds are all over me, and my back feels a bit numb from the fall.

But… I can't say that I don't enjoy it.

I'm willing to kill myself if she wants me to. So allowing her to beat me up is somewhat acceptable. Even though it's painful, it's the kind of pain that I am willing to accept. After all, I can't reject this pain due to my sins.

I am responsible, and she has all the rights to torture me.

And just when I thought it was getting good… she cried.

"Why… are you helping me…?"

She asked again. She cried, not because she is sad about herself, but because she noticed my situation and is sad for me.

That's when I realized something. Her question, the way she asked it doesn't sound like she wanted to know what will happen to her. She asked it, because she wants to know my intentions, and more so about me than her. 

She didn't ask that question for herself. She asked it for me.

Why…?

"I don't… know."

I truly… don't know.

"I don't know why I did it…"

In the end, I broke too.

The memories that were kept hidden resurfaced once more. The guilt once again has appeared, and shown its corroding appearance in my mind once more.

But for some reason… I didn't feel like going crazy.

Elicia. Her being there helps me.

It was then that I knew the answer to the question. The reason why I'm helping her, the reason why I went through all that betrayal just for her.

Because she… will be the one to cure me.

She will be the one who will help me regain my sanity. She will be the one who can calm me down. Because she is the one who is hurt most by me, she is the only one who can heal me and make me accept atonement.

So… I opened up.

I told her everything. How it all happened, how it leads to the darkest night, and how it was all my fault.

I told her everything… and she made a decision I can never understand.

"I… don't care about those. Any of those. My people are a lost cause anyway.

Your sin of wiping out my entire race, I care about none of it. So, if you want to make yourself feel better, then go ahead.

Accompany me. Follow me on my journeys."

How…? How can you put up… so much patience against me?

I caused your sufferings… I caused your life to be miserable… I indirectly killed your family…

But her next words answered that question.

"So come with me. And help me find vengeance. I want to kill all those bastards at the White Cathedral. All of them will die to my hands."

I see… how beautiful.

In the end, she is still not giving up. In the end, she still wants to fight.

The battle has yet to be over, not as long as she is still alive.

So…

I will do… whatever I can.

To protect her. To help her. To do anything she ever wanted.

To survive…

And to take vengeance. For her.