Solving Puzzles

*Knock Knock "Frisky?" *Knock knock "Faith?" *Knock knock "Um, wife? Can we please talk?"

Papyrus came out of his room. "Sans, it's past bedtime. What's going on?"

"I think we're having our first marriage fight. At least there's not an encounter," Sans tried to joke. "Please? Frisky, please let's talk? Give me a second chance? I mean, not like Chance, not right . . . that wasn't a pun. Frisky?"

"You can just take a shortcut in, you know," Papyrus said.

"No. She's mad. She needs to answer the door, talk to me willingly." Sans knocked on the door again. "Please? Everyone makes mistakes?" He kept knocking.

"What happened," Papyrus asked. "Sans?"

Sans left the door for a second and past Papyrus' room. "I did it. I didn't know. The flower knew, but he didn't bother telling me." He rubbed the front of his skull. "I didn't take her being naked the right way."

"What? Sans, I am surprised at you," Papyrus scolded him. "Even if she was slimy or thorny or whatever! I-it's about the loving connection."

"That's what it should have been. But, it wasn't. Flowey told me later that Skeletons are more like humans in that area. Monsters and humans joining started the Skeletons."

"Oh." Papyrus shook his head. "I don't know what that means."

"Frisky was afraid to show me herself because of the way human guys react. And, and my body reacted the same way. And Alphys convinced her, and Undyne convinced her, and even I convinced her that Monsters don't react that way. And, I did."

"Oh. So. Hmm." Papyrus looked toward Sans' and Frisky's bedroom door. "She's upset about that?"

"That and. Um. I don't think she understood we had to have sex to have a second kid."

"Well, what else?"

"Humans use a lot more surgical approaches. She must have assumed it'd be that way." He shrugged.

"Oh. Do you mean everything just became much more complicated again?"

Sans nodded. "She picked the ACT of shove me out and lock the door." He shook his head. "Skip the Monster talk. I need Flowey's book. Maybe when I'm done reading, she'll be ready to open the door again." He knocked on the door. "Frisky? Faith? Um, I will be right back. I hope you open up soon?" He went past Papyrus. "Head back to bed, Pap. There's not much you can do."

"Oh. Okay. I am sorry, Sans," Papyrus offered as he headed back to his room. "I'm sure she'll get over this thing soon. Frisky always picks the right ACT eventually. Right? I mean, at the very least. She married you so there's no way out."

Sans didn't answer as he approached the flower. "Book." He roughly grabbed the pot, hearing the flower pleading to be careful. "You are getting that book for me now."

"Oh, come on, Smiley Trashbag! I'm learning to care, but I'm still a little evil, aren't I? Take a joke, why don't you? You had to grow the relationship somehow. You can't just pretend she's your friend, get a quick kiss on the cheek and expect her to be ready in three months." Flowey yelled as Sans shook the pot and let him drop in the snow outside. "Cold!"

"Book."

"Fine. You just had to say please, you know." Flowey disappeared a short amount of time before he came up with a book. "It might not be the best. I just grabbed something before I felt a shift coming. Not the top literature, just something. Still, it will beat anything around today."

Sans looked at the book. "Skeletons and Humans, Volume 3, Uncut Collector's Edition?"

"I like Collector edition stuff," Flowey said. "It's a habit. Also, Balancer Skeletons are kind of similar. They like humans too. Oh, and one more tidbit?"

"I don't care."

"The strongest Skeletons can manifest an entire human form."

"I don't care about that. I just want to read this." Actually, he wanted to go to bed, but that wasn't an option. He'd eventually have to suffer the couch if Frisky didn't let him in. He really didn't even care what the flower had to say, and wasn't going to listen. He just wanted to focus on the book.

"The very first Balancers created were technically Skeletons. Not in the 'oooh, yeah, sexy sexy' way with humans," Flowey continued, "but it was still a Monster-Human thing."

"I need to what?" That was a funny word. "A form of bait?"

"The very first Balancers are the most powerful. They are still around too," Flowey continued again.

"Kissing comes first before seeing each other naked but after dating. Seeing each other naked usually leads to sex," Sans said out loud. "That . . . that makes sense." He shifted again, remembering Frisky's body a moment and felt the warmth coming back. "Lust sucks. Why couldn't I just like her in a loving way like a Monster?"

"You can do both, but you have to recognize your human drive too," Flowey warned him. "You can still be all like kisses and cuddles, just know that you need more too. By the way, I was talking? The very first Balancers were probably as powerful as you, without the hit flaw. Which I know got cleared up. So, have you even tried to see what you can do now? You're going to want to."

"There is that bait word again. Sex or bait?"

"Spelling differences between Monster and human is fun!" Flowey teased. "Yeah, but in all seriousness, you need to listen up. The first Balancers were responsible for finding the best possible compatible mate. They wanted the best of the best, even putting their own selfish desires on hold to make sure they got the strong, super soldiers they wanted."

"It sounds too much like fishing. I really don't get it."

"It's being translated from human to Monster, not everything is going to make sense. I told you, I probably didn't grab the best," Flowey explained. "Anyhow, one of these Balancers was simply called X. He hated the name though, and he didn't like to be singled out. The first Balancers were always singled out for fights, so he kind of put his own power on the backburner."

"I could fish in Waterfalls maybe? Is this a way to relax? Do you just need to relax afterward?"

"And when they don't use any of their power, they look human. And he thought it was the greatest thing in the world. Training the ways he wanted humans to ACT. He also got top choice to see who the best had been."

"Where would I buy this bait?"

"He went so deep, he completely eliminated his name too, wanting a number. Only those in charge know who he is."

"Low on money. Can I get it in Snowdout?"

"His number is 04823."

Sans stopped paying attention to the book. Because of the cruelty of Flowey he didn't want to listen, but he just said something he couldn't ignore. "04823?"

"Yeah. PACIFIST teacher. He tried twice with Frisky's determination," Flowey reminded him. "So, while you need to progress your lovely little relationship, you also need to do more than that. He'll eventually find a way over, Smiley Trashbag, and he knows all your moves. Not to mention, he has enough power to fully give himself a body. There's no way Chara is going to let him pass right now, but eventually he'll find a way to get himself here and Frisky out." Flowey tossed an MP from his other stem. "May not have asked for it, but let's face it. It's more helpful than a half translated book. Can't do much of course. No signal. But, old info is still there."

Sans put the book on the ground and started to dig through the MP. There wasn't much on it, but there was a ton about him. "Collecting? He was down here?"

"Come on, Smiley Idiot. You know what to do now, right?" Flowey winked. "She's mad at you. She locked you out. But you know what? She's still yours. If you can't beat him when he comes here, then she won't be sulking upstairs. She'll be on a table, probably ready for the third try. Oh." He chuckled. "Correction. She's probably not upstairs. She is probably with the Frisks, trying to work out the best strategy to deal with everything. You know her!"

"She's with the Frisks?"

"Which is a good thing because you're going to need some real good sparring partners," Flowey smiled bright and big. "There's no one that knows you better, is there? I recommend Farrisk. He was the one who had the best battle coordination."

Hm. "Rather battle Friskarino."

"Yeah. This isn't a sweet battle. When you can beat Farrisk easier, then take on Friskay. She'll really try and kill you, so she'll be harder." Flowey winked. "Don't recommend Friskarino. Human drive also has a lot of jealousy like Monster drive. So, that wouldn't be a good thing."

"Hm?" Jealousy? "What do you mean?"

Flowey chuckled. "You still don't know what Frisky liked about you? You weren't special in any way at all. You were just . . . the dumb idiot you always are. Joking, punny, you're annoying fart jokes. Her world sucks so she likes humor. Know anyone else like that?"

" . . ." Sans held his bony finger up. "He was the one who helped her back, who helped me find her, who-"

"Yeah, of course he was. He's Integrity." Flowey bopped his head around for a few seconds. "But he was also very into your Frisky. So, like I said-"

"She's my wife now!"

"Okay. Yeah. Got it," Flowey said. "Human and Monster drive, not a good combination. They haven't been into each other for years though."

"Did he see her naked?"

"And there's that annoying human drive kicking in. Probably not? I don't know?"

"But you know everything!"

"Not everything. Almost everything. Easy, Sansy. I'm just letting you know a basic fact to kind of be mean? Because my mean spirit is starting to go down. I need to balance out caring with being mean. It makes me feel a bit better."

"I can be funnier. It's been a stressful time but I could take him on."

"That's . . . not the point," Flowey said. "Come on, concentrate!"

"She never said a word about him in the Soul bearing."

"Well, I don't think past boyfriends with no difficulty is just going to flow out, Smiley Trashbag." Flowey chuckled. "Seriously. What's your next step?"

"She's with him right now? But . . ." Sans started to look at his bony fingers. "I'm sheltering and GOLD and same bed and . . ."

"I lied!" Flowey yelled at him. "Geez, I just wanted to annoy you. I don't know anything about personal relationships, it's not on an MP." He smiled again. "Good, I haven't lost my touch yet."

Sans raised his bony arms over his head like he was going to explode. "Flowey! How am I supposed to know when you are telling the truth and when you aren't?"

Flowey just chuckled. "I don't know. I'm complicated. But, human and Monster drive combinations are fun to play with. How could I resist? Besides, I didn't say there was no interest between them. I just said I don't know."

Then, Sans heard Frisky laugh up in their room. He looked up toward his bedroom window. "She laughed." He tightened his bony hands. "She might be up there right now with him."

"I lied," Flowey said again. "Lied, Idiot. Hey? Smiley Trashbag?"

Sans headed back in the house and straight to his bedroom. Their bedroom. He knocked on the door but still didn't get an answer. "That's it." He took a shortcut into his room and saw Friskarino over in the corner with Frisky.

"Hey, Sans." Friskarino gestured toward Frisky, knocking her lightly on the chin. "Sorry you two are having problems. Can't be easy between a Monster and a human." Frisky just continued to look out the window. "Okay. You two are going to need a dialogue I suppose."

Frisky still wasn't looking back at Sans. "I'm so confused."

Friskarino held her hand. "Hey, it's okay. Trust me. You and I know it's probably just an accident. It's okay there's nothing to be ashamed of. Hey, come on?"

"I know," Frisky muttered. "Thanks for coming when I called."

"Hey I couldn't say no, it's in my name," Friskarino shrugged and chuckled.

"Couldn't say yes then, 'cause it's not in your name," Sans countered him, shoving his bony hands deep in his coat pockets. "A Friskarino sans a no, is just a Frisk, and never a Sans."

"Oh. Hey, that's a good one?" Friskarino smiled.

"Better than a good two."

"Uh? You all right, Sans?"

"Nah, I'm all write today, and I've got more than a few notes for you."

Friskarino scratched his head. "Um. Kay?"

"Kay is just a letter but I alphabet ta not see you in here again."

Friskarino leaned himself up. "Problem?"

"Yeah, and the solution is to get out."

"I will but Frisky called me. You said I could see her?" Friskarino shrugged.

"Oh, I see your point but the perspective in those words is a little blind."

"Clearly I've gotten something wrong." Friskarino looked back at Frisky. "I think I should go." Frisky grabbed onto his arm. "I know, but Sans isn't happy." She squeezed harder on his arm. "Okay, I don't know what your problem is, Sans, but Frisky needs time to absorb this."

"She needs time to unwind, but that doesn't include you so watch yourself."

"She is a human that has to have sex with a Monster, Sans. This isn't a small thing, and I am trying to help her adjust."

"Are those puns, human?"

"Puns?" Friskarino scratched his head, thinking back to what he said. "No? I'm being serious, those aren't puns. I know it's possible for Monster and human, she's your wife, but she didn't understand and she just needs time to grip the situation." He stomped his foot on the floor. "Those aren't puns either, I swear. It's just coming out that way. Come on?"

Sans stared at Friskarino next to the wife who refused to look or talk to him. He jiggled the wrappers in his coat pocket.

"I'm only here because you wouldn't let any of the others come, or they would all be here," Friskarino reminded him. "And if there's any pun hiding in there, I'm sorry. It's the truth though." Friskarino took Frisky's hand off his arm. "Sorry. You'll have to ACT with him and figure it out yourself. You'll be fine, Frisky." He teleported away.

Three months. A baby with Sans. Her mind couldn't quit thinking of stripping in front of him, believing it was completely fine. That was nothing compared to what was in the future. She'd never had sex before, but at least . . . at least Conner was human. Now, she had to have sex with an actual Monster?

It wasn't that Sans was bad, but, physical sex? Monster? It hadn't happened in so very long. There wasn't even much written about it, from the times of old when such a thing happened. There was sex with Balancers, but that never went well. It was either one-sided, or rare. The most decent of Balancers were still like Monsters in that they didn't want anything to do with them. So.

Sans wasn't a Balancer. He was just a simple . . . Frisky sighed. He drove Friskarino away too. Why'd he have to do that? He was trying to make her feel better about everything, and Sans actually started laying right into him! Friskarino didn't do anything, and it wasn't fair. Sans and Papyrus said he could visit, but they didn't want the others. So what was that?

And now, she had to deal with the facts by herself. Chance should be with Sans. Sans deserved him. He is taking care of us. Even if I didn't know it would be some physical thing with a Monster, I . . . it was still what I had to do. Frisky thought that Friskay had just been being mean when she said the primitive way. I mean, that way was so primitive. There was no manipulation to create anything that was superior in any way. Just leaving it all up to nature? Is it really that primitive down here? How did they ever get the barrier down missing even that level of technology?

"Frisky?"

Sans was trying to talk to her again. Couldn't she get any time to absorb what she had to do?

And how he just treated Friskarino? He didn't even do anything, and Sans didn't want him around? Why 'cause it was their room? Sans had his own magic powers, he could have come in whenever he wanted. Ridiculous. Making me get undressed. Making me have a baby in a primitive way. And now, I can't see any of the Frisks. Thanks, Sans. Really kept your promise about not making me feel imprisoned, didn't you?

"Frisky, please look at me? Let's talk, the two of us?"

Like she had a choice? She turned around, still red in the face.

"There you are." He tried to sound cheery. "Hey there. Little surprised?" He rubbed his skull and handed her the book Flowey gave him. "That. I didn't know that. Flowey just gave me that."

Frisky looked at it. A human and Skeleton Connection book. She didn't want to bother opening it.

"Really. I've been down what I thought was a mountain who knows how long. I know what Monsters know. I assumed I was the same. I am a Monster. Guess, I, just assumed every one of us was the same." He was clicking his tongue at the top of his mouth again. "Sorry. Seeing each other naked was supposed to make this whole thing easier, and I think it just made it worse." He held his bony hands out. "Not that you had an awful body or anything, you really didn't at all!" He pulled his bony hands back like he made great big faux pas. "Not that that matters?" He closed his eye sockets. "Even when I figured it out, I was trying to ACT like it was just any other Monster I was seeing. But. Uh. That . . . human lust drive was hard to hide."

Human lust? Frisky opened the book this time and read the introduction. She picked it all up pretty fast there. The translation from human to Monster was pretty raw, but the basics were there. The Monsters who once long ago did love humans gave birth to the Monster race of Skeletons. And, Skeletons still had . . . great, I knew it. He was completely aroused. It was just like undressing for a human. Well, that was really small potatoes to the other thing though. "What about the other thing? Can it be extended or something?"

"King Asgore decides that. Three months is as far as I can push from him." Sans scratched his wrist bone lightly. "Anything else got pushed further down. I'm lucky I got back to three months."

Great. "Okay. What happens if we don't do anything?"

"Um. Well?" Sans gestured outward and inward. That wasn't good at all. "Then, King Asgore and Queen Toriel will assist to make sure we do."

What?! Losing it again. "No, no, no." Frisky shook her hands outward. "No way, I refuse."

"There's not really a choice in it. But, it won't be that bad." He was shaking his bony hand in his coat pocket, jingling wrappers again. "The more compatible, the better it is. I mean, usually it's supposed to be boring but it shouldn't hurt. Um, I uh. I did the hard part and manifested what mattered." He shrugged. "Don't worry, it shouldn't be too bad. Since it's usually kind of boring we can probably just get in a sex position and fall asleep. Wake up and see if you're done or not. That seems to be how a lot of Monsters do it."

Like a turkey? Nothing. He knew nothing. "Humans have different bodies," she said slowly.

"You're telling me." He covered the front of his skull a minute. "I didn't mean that in a bad way. Or a good way."

He was thinking about her body again, she could tell. Easily. "Sans, face up here."

He looked back at her face. "Hey. Uh. It's okay, I promise. The whole body thing? We can keep our clothes on, no biggie. We just have to slide off a section to fit."

The bodies. He really assumed being naked was the toughest part and the rest was just 'insert here'. "No way, you are nowhere close to getting this. Humans have completely different bodies."

"Oh? So, how do you have different bodies?"

"Too. Different," she said firmly. "Way too different to ever be compatible."

"Hmm?"

"There's . . . there's no way a human and a Monster are going to . . ."

"Oh." He said it so natural. "That's what you're worried about? Don't worry, we'll be fine."

"You're not getting it," Frisky tried again. "Humans are like a lock and a key. They fit. Human and Monsters aren't even a lock and a key. A Monster is a key that's been lost five years and the human is a lock rusted shut. They are just that different." Maybe that would get it through his thick skull. "Not. Compatible."

"Even if we weren't, we'd become. Magic."

"No, I refuse."

"Uh, no, you can't?"

"No, I refuse the notion that I can't refuse too. I refuse all of it!"

"Yeah. Uh." He scratched his skull. "You'll be fine?"

Okay, this wasn't working. Time for a new ACT. Lie. "It could kill me." Yeah, he wasn't buying that. "Done in the wrong way it could kill me."

"Not many ways to mess up, Frisky."

Yeah. Lie never worked on Sans. "Okay." There was only one ACT left. The embarrassing truth. "Do you know how if I eat the wrong thing, I could die down here? If I don't eat enough I could die? How being out in the weather for too long in the wrong temperatures can kill me? Well, humans are sensitive. In that area. Especially."

That seemed to have done something. "Sensitive?"

I can't believe I have to talk about this, but there's nothing down in the Underground. "Your lust drive?" Using words he used. "Well, a woman has to have her own lust drive going. If not, it really hurts." Please let that have been enough.

" . . .oh."

Win. No GOLD, but an important field conquered. Whew!

"Hang on." He held his hand out for the book and Frisky gave it to him. He started flipping through the pages. He was scanning and flipping through several pages. "I don't ever want to hurt you."

Of course.

"I'll figure something out. Even if I have to use the flower." Sans left the room with the book in hand. "Just, get some rest. But, don't worry." He closed one eye socket and winked at her. "I'm real good at solving puzzles."