Chapter 28: Confrontations of the Heart

"Ai Pond…how do you tell if you like someone…or just hate someone to the point that you think you may like them?"

Pond nearly spit out the coffee he had prepared for himself, coughing uncontrollably until he finally managed to catch his breath.

"What the hell!" He looked at his older brother skeptically. "What kind of moronic question is that?"

"Hey!" Joong looked at him, offended. "I asked a serious question! What do you think I'm doing here?"

"I don't even want to know, and stop being ridiculous!" Pond shook his head, this time, taking slow sips of his coffee to avoid chocking. It was far too early for him to be entertaining Joong's madness. "You either like someone or you hate them. I don't know there is an in-between. And if you managed to find it…then congrats! It's your shit to deal with. Don't get me involved."

"You know, I thought you were one of the sanest people in this house." Joong said sourly, making a face at his younger brother as he took a sip of his own coffee. "Now I can't even ask you a genuine question without you criticizing me like I'm an idiot!"

"Look, P'Joong," Pond sighed in exasperation. "It's not that I can't answer your 'genuine' questions, it's just that you aren't even genuine with your question so you're trying to ask something stupid while trying not to give away too much information. If you want an honest answer, try and ask an honest question, will you?"

Joong sighed heavily. It seemed like there was no other way to tackle the situation than to face it headfirst. But to do that…he would have to reveal the secret that he had been hiding since that night of the party…

"Fine. I'll tell you what is really happening," Joong sighed in defeat, as he leaned across the table to talk to his younger brother. "But you have to promise not to tell a single soul."

"You don't need to whisper, no one is home anyway." Pond reminded him. "Our father's are out on business, Gemini just took his boyfriend to get ice-cream…and knowing Fourth, yes, they're just eating ice-cream. As for Love…I think she's at P'Nirin's restaurant still, with that senior of hers. So just say what you have to say."

"I slept with Dunk."

Joong waited…and waited.

Pond took another sip of his coffee.

"You bloody knew?" Joong's mouth fell open in horror as he looked at his younger brother. "How long?"

"Since I saw him climb out the fire escape the morning after the party, covered in hickey's and walking with a limp." Pond shrugged as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "I could tell exactly what had gone down. Especially when I saw you two suck faces the night before."

"Shut up! When?! I thought you weren't even home that night!" Joong's entire body slumped back into the seat as the realization dawned on him. He and Dunk had been kissing at the party? When? How? What…?"

"I did come home. For thirty seconds or so." Pond shrugged, placing his coffee cup on the table. "I forgot to get my new stencil set so I had to rush back, but when I came home, pretty much everyone was hammered. Your classmates were making out in the pool, on the sofa and…you get the picture. Also…I saw you and P'Dunk as well. Both of you were drunk as a skunk and sucking faces like there was no tomorrow."

Joong's mouth fell open, nearly hitting the floor and if his eyes widened any further, he was sure they would pop out of his skull.

"But I wasn't surprised considering there were about twenty cups in front of you guys, so I guess you can label it as 'getting lost in the moment' or 'drunken mistakes'?"

 Pond shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat to get out of a guilt trip."

"Wow…" Joong stared at his brother in astonishment. "You really are frank this morning. And what makes you think I'm feeling guilty about anything at all?"

"Because I saw you carrying P'Dunk out of the bar the night of your performance as well. And then you took him home, in your car. You never drove anyone home before, Joong. Not even your ex's."

"Shia oye! Why are you everywhere you fucker!" Joong slammed his hands on the table, making the cups thud against the hard wood violently. But it didn't faze Pond in the slightest.

"I just happened to be in the places where you hung out with P'Dunk. It wasn't intentional." Pond shrugged nonchalantly. "However, we weren't discussing me being everywhere now, were we? We were discussing why you think you're stuck between love and hate with P'Dunk."

"And how did you know that this was about Dunk?" Joong questioned stubbornly, even though he had already made himself obvious multiple times.

Pond didn't answer, just gave him a knowing look, which made Joong feel even more frustrated.

Shaking his head, he plopped back down onto his seat, running his hands through his hair to mess it up further before he turned to Pond once again. "Fine. I admit…things have…changed, between me and Dunk. But he isn't ready to admit it!"

"And you are?" Pond scoffed. "Phi, you're just as stubborn as P'Dunk, if not more. Remember the question you asked me? How do you tell if you like someone or just hate someone to the point that you think you may like them?"

"Fine, fine! It was stupid, I admit!" Joong threw up his hands in exasperation. "What do you expect me to do about it? I'm confused as hell here and you aren't making this situation any better on me!"

"How about we answer one question at a time, yeah?" Pond leaned forward on the table, looking at his brother intensely. "If you can't figure out if you like P'Dunk or hate him, try imagining him with someone else. Try thinking of him kissing or-"

"Don't you dare go there, Ai Pond!" Joong protested immediately, the images in his head making him want to punch his younger brother for even suggesting such a thing.

"Why? Why are you angry? Do you not like him with someone else? Does that thought make you angry?"

"You think I want to cuddle you right now, for suggesting such nonsense?"

"It wasn't nonsense," Pond shrugged, surprisingly cool tempered for someone who was witnessing his brother's outbursts. "It was to show you what your heart really wants. For almost two years, I had kept my own feelings hidden, thinking that I don't deserve to be with Phuwin, and that I was okay with admiring him from afar. But it wasn't until that day in the bar when I saw another girl taking interest in him that I got really scared of losing my only chance."

Joong listened to his brother intently, wondering how he was starting to make sense. But even though he understood what Pond was trying to tell him, he knew that his and Pond's situations had been vastly different.

"I get it, but I still need to think about it." Joong sighed, getting up from the seat. "By the way…everyone is out and about with their faen, why aren't you? Did you make him mad by some chance?"

"Nope." Pond smirked. "We have plans to go out this afternoon. Which is why I wanted to tell you to make lunch or order in. I won't be home till evening."

"Don't rub it in." Joong frowned at him. "And order takeout from your allowance before you leave!"

Pond protested as Joong left the room, but at that moment, his mind wasn't on Pond anymore.

He did realize that Pond and his circumstances were completely different. While Pond had feelings for Phuwin long before the two of them got together, Joong started to feel something for Dunk only after they slept together.

When he reached his room, he remembered the state his room had been in that morning, with clothes scattered all over the place and used up condom wrappers in places he couldn't even imagine.

It had been one hell of a wild night and yes, now that he was alone, he could admit to himself that being with Dunk wasn't a bad experience at all. But so far…weren't his 'feelings' for Dunk purely physical?

Did he feel that emotional connection towards Dunk that would make him feel possessive towards him, to the point where he couldn't even bear the thought of him with someone else?

'Why? Why are you angry? Do you not like him with someone else? Does that thought make you angry?'

Pond's earlier words came to his mind, alongside a vivid imagery of Dunk, on his bed, with him on top of him, their lips moving in sync as he thrust into him…

"Shia!" Joong's eyes widened as he realized it wasn't his imagination but memories of that night that were resurfacing from the depth of his mind.

And with that memory, came a surge of possessiveness. No matter the circumstances, he couldn't let anyone else have Dunk.

But the next instant, his phone began to ring with an incoming call from P'Luke, P'Nirin's fiancé, and he rushed to take the call.

"Sawadee Phi." Joong answered the call at once. "Did you get me a gig?"

"No, Joong…something happened…it's about that friend you carried home the other night."

And that instantly got his attention.