Been So Special

Ethan 

Demyan, who had no right to be considering how beautiful he was, shyly knocked on the door of my office. His freckled skin looked absolutely radiant despite the gloomy weather outside. He always had a knack for fashion , especially with his black trousers… I believed he used to call them palazzo pants, his button up shirt looked effortlessly elegant against his light skin whilst the black clean lined coat that reached down to his ankles made him look taller. 

It had seemed throughout the day he had taken his curly hair and tied it up into a messy bun which for some reason had a pencil stabbed through which proved to me he came here on impulse. I worried that he might have come over to finish what I had started but his small smile caused a little hope to blossom in my chest. 

I stood up on impulse and nodded indicating he could come in. The moment he opened the door and stepped in, his scent flooded the space almost making me feel dizzy. 

Once he closed the door and faced me he rubbed his hands together almost as if he was cold and was trying to warm them up. "Are you cold?" I blurted out stupidly. 

He let out a quiet breathy laugh before he nodded, "I decided to walk here from my office."

"Would you like a coffee or tea? I could ask one of the staff to get you the hazelnut latte you liked from the cafe. Staff has changed so I don't know if they'd make it the same but-"

"It's alright Ethan," he softly smiled. Just the way he said his name caused the hairs at the back of my neck to stand in attention. "A coffee would be great."

I nodded wordlessy as I walked over to the coffee station I had in my office. I had specifically had it made for me because the journey to the kitchen on the floor felt too far and the staff would get jittery whenever I was around them for too long. 

I never really cared about whether the coffee was instant or ground because Pa really never fussed about it growing up. However every morning when I was with Demyan, I always admired the effort he put into making his coffee each and every morning. I ended up learning how he liked his coffee just right and we would take turns. 

I could feel Demyan's eyes on me as I used the coffee machine and with precision poured the exact amount of honey I knew he adored in his coffee, one teaspoon of sugar and oat milk. I had even learned the skill of making coffee art and made sure the foam had a beautiful layered flower. 

With a few added biscuits on the saucer with the cup, I placed it down on the desk in front of him before I took my seat. 

He looked at it with a smile then looked up to me, "Your art has most definitely improved."

"It's better than the broccolis," I grinned. 

He let out a laugh, "Much better than the broccolis." He took a sip and closed his eyes as a content hum came from him, "It's delicious, thank you Ethan."

"My pleasure," I nodded. 

My eyes watched him as he took a few careful sips of his coffee and munched on the biscuits as he looked at the office in a small wonderment. "I must say the directors of the company are highly spoiled if you all have these offices."

"Uncle Ed, only gives the best," I shrugged, "I didn't even know what to do with this one when I got it. I don't know how I'm going to redesign the CEO one."

"Vasilisa said you needed help with that," his blue eyes finally looked into mine. 

"She recommended you to me a few minutes ago."

"Promotion of family business, what can I say? I highly agree with her methods."

"Well then maybe we can set up a meeting and you can take a look. Only if you want to of course."

He nodded, "I'll see what I can do." There was a heavy awkward silence in the room for a few seconds before he softly uttered, "I saw your text."

I gulped and looked away from him for a few seconds, "I'm sorry about last night Demyan."

"So am I. It wasn't the right time and I did not want to ruin your party for you," he sighed, "It was irresponsible of me."

"I pushed you to react that way, you are not in the wrong," I sighed, "I would like to blame the alcohol but I don't think it was the alcohol. I- Demyan, I just can't control myself around you and I don't know what to do. I- I just can't bear the thought of knowing you're right in front of me and I can't have you."

He cutely scrunched his nose as he shook his head, "I just don't understand that you want me now that I'm conveniently in front of you now that I've moved back home. Why didn't you want me when I was in Russia, France or America? Why didn't you want me during those four years I was mourning you so deeply it felt like I could die?"

I could feel my face pale by the second. "Demyan, I don't think you understand how much I wanted to come back to you but it was more complicated than that."

"If you love me it would have never looked complicated," he looked down to his hands as he softly answered, "Pa always used to tell me that love doesn't always conquer all but if that person is that special to you, you'd force it to. Was I not special enough?"

"You've always been so special to me," I felt my throat tighten as tears welled in my eyes slightly, "I made a lot of mistakes Demyan but that does not mean that every time my heart beats that it is not for you."