Chapter : 8 : Adventure! Killing!

Gudako P.O.V

We are all currently sat around a table, with Guild Girl currently explaining how we can't take the Tarrasque quest. Thank goodness for that, I don't think I could handle going from one boss monster to another so quickly. Besides that though, there was an issue since I completely forgot that both Mordred and Ushi haven't registered with the guild.

For now I'll stick with naming them according to their class names, even if they don't have a specified class within the system. Though I'm not sure what I am going to do when there are repeats of the classes since that hasn't happened yet, but I'll figure it out when I get there. So with that I registered Mordred as Saber, and Ushi as Rider.

I thought I would have to fill out for them but it seems the system also either auto-translates or shoves the information into their brains regarding the local language. With that done they got their porcelain-rank dog tag, even though I know all of these guys could easily be platinum ranked. Though I am a bit concerned with what they may have filled the form with...

Guild Girl: Miss Saber, what exactly did you mean when you filled out the strength category with "Really frickin' strong, can shove my fist up your ass", exactly?

Mordred: Exactly what I meant! If anyone tries any funny shit, I'll shove my fist so far up their ass it'll come out of their-

Guild: I see, that's enough. I don't need any further explanation. So moving on... what did you mean Miss Rider when you filled out the specialty category with "Decapitation, for all your beheading needs", it almost sounds like an advertisement?

Ushi: Was it not clear? I believe it is very understandable at even a glance.

Guild girl: I mean... it is clear what it means, but I just need a bit more clarification for the Guild officials.

Ushi: Very well, it means that I will happily behead anyone, monsters, bandits, and even civilia-

Guild Girl: O-okay! That's enough, Rider, so thank you all for registering to the Guild! I wish you luck in your adventures!

So, back to  Guild Girl recommending other possible quests we can take and explaining that we would need to rank up first to everyone. I already know this but I'm not passing out on a free explanation to my servants, I'm not shoving my responsibilities onto others, it's her job so it's perfectly fine.

...

But... why has Mordred been staring at Guild Girl? Oh, it seems she noticed it too, I wonder why though?

Mordred: Uhm... miss? Can I ask a question?

Guild Girl: Sure, feel free to ask any questions on anything that may confuse you.

Hmm... maybe she was just lost in the conversation and needed clarification-

Mordred: Are you my dad?

My face slams directly into the table, and it seems Guild Girl is frozen in a mix of shock and confusion. I can also see Cu trying to hold in his laughter, Hassan giving the blankest stare he could give, and Ushi looking mildly disappointed.

Guild Girl: U-uhm pardon me, that just caught me off guard. But where exactly did that come from? I'm not even a man, or even in a relation-

I've been forgotten, and sink into a sad puddle of patheticness. It was nice being not single for like 2 days, here I come again shut-in life!

Guild Girl: C-correction! Ignore that last part! But to answer your question, I am not your dad.

She then walks over to me and picks me up, bringing me back to normal.

Guild Girl: Sorry... still getting used to it, so no hard feelings?

Gudako: It's fine, It's fine. I'm just playing around a bit. Anyways, you can go back to lecturing the idiots, I'm all good.

Guild Girl: If you say so, see you later, Guda.

Gudako: Mhm! I should probably also get back on my chair too.

With that whole thing cleared up I reform off the floor and sit back on my chair, while Guild Girl goes back to her chair. During that time, it seems Mordred is still lost in thought and examining her, what a rare sight, Mordred is thinking!

Mordred: I don't know, you look oddly similar... but nevermind. The chest area and eyes are completely off, don't worry bout' it!

Why do I feel like if I ever summon Artoria she is going to beat your ass about that side comment? I mean maybe not? That comment was friendly fire if you think about it. Moving on from that though, I should probably get this conversation back on topic.

Guild Girl: Alright then, I won't. Any other questions from anyone?

Mordred: Ooh! Ooh! I have another question!

I see Guild Girl brace herself, expecting some completely random or outrageous question probably.

Guild Girl: G-go ahead, feel free to ask away.

Mordred: So like I'm a super shitty porcelain rank currently, right?

I see a couple beginner adventurers in the distance collapse in shame, I think Mordred might be just as brutal with her words as she is in fighting.

Guild Girl: I wouldn't word it like that... but essentially yes.

Mordred: So if I hypothetically brought in the head of the tyrannosaur-

Hassan: Tarrasque, Mordred. It's a Tarrasque, not a terran, not a t-rex, and not a torso.

Mordred: Big lizard spikey thing or whatever! If I just up and dragged it's corpse into the Guild would I become a platinum ranked adventurer?

Guild Girl: Since you didn't take the quest I'm not quite sure if you would be eligible for the reward, but your efforts would certainly be recognized. By all means, such an achievement would at the very least make you qualified for the rank. Did that answer your question?

Mordred: Hell yeah it did! Off I go!

Gudako: Oh no you don't!

I fully materialize the gauntlet of Lancelot and bonk her on the head with it. I always keep a tiny part of the armor materialized so it appears almost like a bracelet. That way I can manifest it quickly without having to do the whole card shenanigans, since I technically never un-equip it. It's really convenient, though I don't get the full power of it unless I fully transform.

Mordred: Ow! What was that for?!

Gudako: We are not taking on a Tarrasque quest! That's basically suicide!

Mordred: Why?! It's just a big target I need to smack to death! Same old stuff that I deal with, so no problem there.

Gudako: Ughh... I don't feel like explaining why it's a bad idea. Sorry about this, but can you explain?

I look over helplessly to Guild Girl and she nods in understanding. Which is good since I'm not sure how accurate my knowledge on a Tarrasque is, and just exactly what this world's version of it is like.

Guild Girl: Well there is a reason only platinum ranked adventurers can take it, and while I'm sure you all are very capable, a Tarrasque is nothing to take lightly. It's basically a natural disaster that is equally as threatening as the Demon King. It is nigh-invincible to magic based attacks and has regenerative properties which make it extremely hard to kill.

Everyone pauses for a second to take that in, hopefully realizing that they should give up on this quest. The reward is super tempting, but I need to wait until I have a servant with a sure-fire way of killing the thing. These guys could probably kill nearly all the monsters in this world as a team or even solo, it's just a Tarrasque has annoying traits to deal with.

Ushi: I see... so if magic does not work, not even decapacitating it through my blade would work? Is that the level of regeneration we are dealing with?

Guild Girl: Yes, that monster has come back from far worse injuries. I heard it regenerated from a mere small chunk of flesh once.

Cu: So not even a blast from Gae Bolg would kill it...

Gudako: Hmm... but doesn't Gae Bolg negate or at least slow down regeneration?

Cu: Yeah, but if the thing can still walk around without a heart or has strong enough regeneration it would still be a problem.

Well technically at least I have a servant with the potential to kill it. But I want to play it safe, this isn't some game where I can just retry until I beat it, so I can't just go carelessly charge towards a super powerful boss for cash, even if the amount is super tempting. Though I am now curious how Gae Bolg would interact with the thing.

Gudako: I see, well at least I know you can somewhat handle it if we were to ever encounter it. But what about you two? Mordred and Hassan, you haven't said anything yet.

Mordred: That's such a bullshit ability! It's so frickin' annoying to deal with stuff that keeps on coming back or regenerating, just stay dead!

Gudako: I can actually agree with that, it's a pain in the ass to deal with. But what do you think about the beam your sword shoots out?

Mordred: Oh that? Well it technically is a bunch of mana, so I'm not sure if it would be ineffective. Not too good with this stuff, shoulda asked Merlin if he was here. But if it does negate it that would be even more annoying! If I hit somethin' it should be hurt! Attacks should do damage!

Gudako: Got that, so what about you Hassan?

Would his NP do anything? I mean the Tarrasque might be able to grow back it's heart, but what if he let literally Satan out of his right hand to kill it? But that would also probably kill him, so that's already off the list.

Hassan: Unfortunately I doubt even I know of any techniques to kill a beast like that. Perhaps another Hassan like Serenity would work due to her poison. But I do know of a definite way to kill it, a way in which that beast has no chance of surviving.

Everyone seems to zone-in on the conversation now, and if I'm thinking what he's thinking, it would definitely work. Only one small issue, since we aren't on Earth we can't just walk up to some tomb to get the guy to help us, and even if we could that also means Hassan dies, so another no.

Hassan: I am more than certain the Great Founder would instill death unto a creature that refuses to die by normal means. A mere mindless beast that dares to defy death would tremble in fear before him.

Guild Girl: Great Founder?

Gudako: Nothing you need to worry about! Basically he is a super strong guy, got it? So anyways, since we all know that we shouldn't take this quest, do you have any recommendations?

Guild Girl is a bit confused by the sudden change, but she brings out a few papers. It's not that it's a super big secret, it's more so that I just want to get on with a quest already.

Guild Girl: Alright! So I do have a couple of the highest difficulty quests I could find for porcelain ranked, some are even bordering a bit on being obsidian rank. Is that alright with you?

Yay! I didn't want to get stuck with a quest like finding lost cats or picking some herbs with a forest, so I'm really thankful for Guild Girl putting in the effort to find good quests for us to take. Because if our first quest as a full party of 5 ended up being a bug catching field trip, well my disappointment would be immeasurable.

Gudako: Thank you, it's more than good enough with us!

I give her a quick hug before quickly going to look over the papers. She seems a bit flustered with it, but seems happy nonetheless. Cu, Hassan, Ushi, and Mordred also begin looking through the papers of quests we can actually take.

Cu: Hmm... a pack of kobolds? I've fought them before, similar enough to goblins but a bit more tough. The reward sucks though...

Ushi: Oh? A quest for bandits? I certainly have experience with killing people, so I believe this one would be alright.

I see Guild Girl sweat a bit at that comment. Seriously, Ushi, stop saying comments that may get us thrown into jail! You don't just go casually saying you are used to killing people! *Sigh* Well I go back to looking at quests, I know it would be pointless to try and change how she is used to speaking about killing.

Gudako: Golems? Well besides the reward we can also get ores from the monsters themselves, this one doesn't sound too bad.

Then Mordred runs up to me, shoving yet another paper in my face. I really hope this one is reasonable this time.

Mordred: Look! Look! What about trolls! These guys look fun to kill-

Guild Girl: I just want to warn you, those regenerate too. Not so much as a Tarrasque, but you will need anti-regenerative weapons or items.

Mordred: Fuck this shit! Stupid annoying monsters and their pain in the ass will to live! If I want to kill you guys, just accept that fact and get your brains smashed in!

I see Mordred crumple the paper up and throw it outside an open window, where it gets run over by a carriage. I give Guild Girl an apologetic look for the loss of the paper and slide her a few copper to pay for remaking it. She looks thankful enough before going back to signing a few papers she brought with her to finish while waiting for us.

Hassan: I believe I've found a good quest, Master.

Oh! It's the reliable person of the team! I mean Cu is also pretty reliable, but the world constantly seems out to get him, so I can't rely on him too much.

Gudako: What is the quest then?

Hassan: It's a quest where we have to deal with a particularly problematic gathering of hobgoblins.

Gudako: Oh, so it's just hobgoblins- 

Wait a second, hobgoblins?

Gudako: Uh... I'm not too sure actually...

Hassan: Master? If I may ask, why not?

I feel my legs get a bit weak, I know I have to get over my fear at some point... but it's still scary.

Gudako: Uhm...

Mordred: C'mon Master! It's just some old goblins or whatever, doesn't matter if it's got a bit more muscle on it!

Ushi: Either way, their heads will come off just as cleanly.

Ah! I don't know how to respond! I'm panicking here!

Gudako: I'm... I don't know-

Cu: Ahem! Hey guys! What about this quest about taking down some dire wolves?

Mordred: Hoh? Kicking in some overgrown mutts seems fun enough!

Ushi: I'm fine with it as well.

Hassan: A bit on the weaker side of things, but it does seem good enough for a first quest to test our party.

Thanks for the save, Cu. I feel my knees buckle and Guild Girl catches me from behind, setting me down on her lap.

Guild Girl: It's fine, you don't have to take any quests like that if you don't feel comfortable with it.

Gudako: But don't you not like people who just take the biggest quest they can get and ignore quests like the goblin ones?

Guild Girl: I'm not sure how you figured that out, and I mean that is true, but those people just do it to show off and for shallow reasons. I'm not going to force you to take them if you really can't.

Gudako: Thanks... but then who is going to take it-

???: I will.

I feel the paper for the quest about the hobgoblins get taken from my hand. I look up to see a familiar helmet.

Goblin Slayer: If you have past trauma with goblins you can't overcome, it only serves to give an opportunity that goblins can take advantage of. If you can't find yourself to overcome it, it's better to not take any goblin quests at all, doing so only gives them more numbers and weapons to use. That's why I'll handle it.

Guild Girl: Oh! Mr. Goblin Slayer! Then you may have this quest, but you aren't going in a party? This one does seem a bit tough.

Goblin Slayer: Teaming up with Lancer and Assassin was simply for those two jobs, I'll be going solo for this one. It's what I've always done, and they seem busy enough with their own party, that I won't interfere. 

Guild Girl: What about anyone else in the Guild, I'm sure someone would come along.

Goblin Slayer: Going solo is better than bringing along useless baggage that can compromise the situation.

Am I... useless baggage? Even if I got this class card, it's still the power of a heroic spirit, not mine. If I end up losing the card I'm as good as useless. The only reason I can do any of this is because of all of the servants who are helping me... I can't even destroy the stupid monsters I hate because I'm too scared to.

Gudako: I see... that does make sense...

Oddly enough, Goblin Slayer pauses in his tracks and turns his head a bit to what I assume is look at me.

Goblin Slayer: Dire wolves are often used by goblins as mounts to raid villages, keep that in mind. 

With that he goes off to what I assume is buy materials to take down the hobgoblins. I mean it wasn't all that much reassurance, and I didn't expect so from someone like Goblin Slayer... but still, It did make me feel a bit better about myself. I guess there isn't too much shame in relying on others... it is what basically every master did.

I give myself a slap on the face, to which Guild Girl looks very concerned for and checks how severe it is. Alright! This is no time to get all mopey over relying on others or stuff like that! This is my first real quest with a party, and I'm gonna enjoy it! The fact that it screws over goblins indirectly is just the cherry on top!

Gudako: Alright guys! Let's go kill some dire wolves!

Guild Girl looks a bit confused for a second, and so does everyone else from my sudden outburst. But soon enough she looks relieved, and everyone else cheers in agreement.

Hassan: Indeed, let us get to killing!

Cu: I've got some experience in hunting, so count on me!

Ushi: Cutting down some beasts will be an excellent warm-up!

Mordred: Blood! Skulls! Let's go build a monument out of their corpses! It's gonna be awesome!

...

Mordred: What?

-----

We're currently driving on a dirt road to the forest area where the dire wolves are located. The trip would normally take half a day, but thanks to the bersercar we are making it there in record time. I just took a normal carriage, but turning it into a noble phantasm with Knight of Owner really makes a massive difference. The ride isn't bumpy and it's practically like driving a modern car.

Ushi: I can run faster, but I have to admit that this is nice.

Mordred: This is sick! Bersercar for the win!

It seems Cu is just lazing around, not minding the surroundings. On the other hand Hassan is a bit too focused on the surroundings. He should take it easier, I doubt anything in this fantasy world is gonna catch up to us right now. Why? Because this thing isn't even at 1/4th it's top speed and it's already stupidly fast.

Anyways we finally make it to the forest and I stop the bersercar with a little drift, for no other purpose than to feel cool. We all hop out and all of them materialize their weapons. While they do that I materialize every part of Lancelot's armor except the helmet. This is because I figured out it's the damn helmet that makes me sound like a fish being strangled.

We wander for a bit, looking around for any traces of the dire wolves. Though we're leaving the tracking mainly up to Cu, since he said that he has a lot of experience with hunting beasts from his younger years. I'm not one to question the Irish guy who went through the most hellish training imaginable, so I let him do his thing.

Suddenly though I notice that the rest of the forest gets quiet. The sound of the birds, insects, all of that is gone. It's purely silent, except for the faintest ruffling and crunching of leaves. It seems everyone else noticed this too and is on guard as well. This silent stand off continues until a dire wolf, or what I assume to be one, leaps out of a bush.

I'm sure it regrets that decision however, as it's greeted with a Gae Bolg to the face, instantly killing it. Following that wolf, it seems the others joined in. With 2 running straight at us, and another 2 leaping out from bushes like the newly dead one. The 2 leaping wolves get a dirk into the eye each, piercing the brain and killing them, courtesy of Hassan.

Seriously! These guys are completely overqualified for a job like this! I thought it would be I don't know... slightly more of a fight? This is more of a slaughter if anything! With that I noticed Ushi jump over a wolf that was charging with her, unsheathing her blade and cutting the beast's head off.

In contrast to that skillful display, Mordred then proceeds to grab the other wolf that was still alive by it's tail. Then... swung it around, bashing it against trees, rocks, the ground, until it was nothing but a bloody red mess that I do not want to describe in detail. I mean... it's kind of a Saber thing? Like she used the wolf sort of like a sword? I'm really reaching here.

Gudako: *Sigh* I guess I don't have anything to do here...

I sadly begin shuffling back to the bersercar, though my left leg feels a bit heavier. Eh, probably just my imagination, or the weight of my disappointing first quest weighing me down.

Cu: Uhm... Master... you actually do have something to do. Look at your leg.

Huh? I follow his instruction anyways and look down at my leg, only to see a dire wolf clinging onto it with it's jaw. Damn, this armor is really tough, I barely noticed it!

Gudako: Oh! Thanks for that Cu! 

Cu: Your welcome?

I then grab the dire wolf off my leg, and toss it into a tree. It hits it with a whimper and manages to get up after, but it is limping. I sort of feel bad for it-

-----

Goblin Slayer: Dire wolves are often used by goblins as mounts to raid villages, keep that in mind.

-----

Nevermind, this ugly beast is dying by my hands today. So I reach out towards a small tree and rip it from the ground, it begins being discolored as a result of turning into my noble phantasm. Am I about to beat a probably crippled dire wolf to death with a tree? Yes, yes I am. Why? It dares associate with filthy goblins.

So I approach it, it begins cowering in fear as I raise the small tree over my head. In the last few seconds of its life it seems to gain back a fighting spirit, as it tries to leap and bite my face off. That never happens though, since I proceed to smash it into the ground with the tree turned sword. I keep this up until it is also a indescribable red paste.

Gudako: Die! Die! Die! Take this! My special All Natural Arondight!

Mordred: Ooh! Let me join in!

Then I see Mordred come over and begin aggressively stomping all over the dead wolf.

Mordred: Haha! Be honored as the second victim of the Clarent Bloody Beatdown!

We keep on continuing for at least another solid 5 minutes.

Cu: Should we... uh... stop them?

Hassan: Killing can be very therapeutic, I suggest we let them be.

Ushi: I would be all for that, but may I ask what that rapidly approaching thing in the sky is?

Both me and Mordred stop at that question, since while beating the dead wolf was interesting, this is concerning. This isn't a modern world, so there are very few things that are up in the sky. That means it could be one of many things, but I know this for sure, if it flies in a fantasy world, it probably is dangerous.

Ushi: A swallow?

Hassan: No... it's a bit too... red to be a swallow.

Mordred: I think color is the least of the things we should be worried about! I may not be the brightest, but I sure as hell know birds ain't that fuckin' big!

It keeps on getting closer, until it becomes a bit clearer that we can all see what it is... oh no.

Cu: It's not any of those things! It's a goddamn dragon! Where the hell is Beowulf when you need him to brawl a dragon!?

Gudako: By any chance anyone got a jet I can use? If not... run!

We run out of the way before the area we were standing in is turned into a massive bonfire. But seriously, the hell is a dragon doing here?! For what purpose does a dragon pop up in the middle of nowhere for?! So we keep on running as it's chasing us, really... why is it so determined?! What have we done to you-

[ Notification. ]

[ Sudden Area Boss. ]

[ Quest: Defeat the Red Dragon. ]

[ Reward: Dungeon Key (B+), 40 rolls, and Tutorial World restriction release. ]

[ Failure: Red Dragon will transform into Ancient Crimson World Eater Dragon God. ]

What the hell is with that absurdly long final boss name?! If you're gonna kill us system just make the failure death, no need for the fancy boss to do it! Well even if I know that fighting the damn thing in what is essentially a giant campfire is a horrible idea, so we keep running until we can get to the bersercar and an open field.

We finally make it to the bersercar and all hop in, and it seems the dragon is still chasing us. Great...

Cu: Hell is with this difficulty up?! A dragon after some dire wolves?!

Hassan: Whichever god is in charge with our fates is definitely a cruel one...

I turn my head from controlling the bersercar and see the dragon still chasing us, and it even got faster. So in response I turn up the speed and at the same time notice Ushi desperately holding back Mordred.

Ushi: You c-cant just go and slay the dragon by yourself!

Mordred: I don't care if I haven't killed a dragon in my legend, I'll do it right now!

Yeah, someone who has dealt with dragons would be real nice right now... wait a second...

...

I pull out a certain oddly high ranked keychain. Heh. This dragon is about to get a real rude awakening, or stern talking to, I don't know which. But anyways, system! Use the thing!

[ Do you wish to use Memorabilia Realizer A+? ]

Oui!

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