regret and guilt

Chapter one.♤

"Fire"

One simple word holds so much power. 

As knights and soldiers grab there arrows, swords and Spears, dip them in oil just to burn.

The prince, Fyodor soon to be king gave orders then got ignored.

Mad was an understatement, all could see that he hated his small village just as much as me 

Only the knights and his army listened to him 

The village gave him warnings when his orders came to an end.

But he was not done

He wanted more so he told his knights to burn them all

Pleas and screams of terror came from below he just sat there on his throne, all alone

Children cried and mothers lied saying  "daddy will be back don't worry my dear" only for them to listen in fear.

Fyodor left his throne to listen to all

He hears there deaths and sees them begin to crawl 

"Bring them back I want them all I must see them suffer " he demanded in a tone straight from a broken man.

See, he lost his wife,dazai to a man of red hair

He found a note at the end of the week saying the truth he was too weak to hear 

It began with  four words and was a poem only made from dazai

Deny, love, lie, death 

Fyodor, your love was sweet…

as candy to the eye but to my heart it was pure hatred that I can't deny. I was blinded by love that my heart couldn't speak. 

You always said

 "It made up excuses like your love was just a dying wep. "

My body denied you but my brain was a wreck. It screamed your name even though I was dying on a deathbed. It made no sense but to you! You understood it, It was a desire, a wish, but all that came my way was your cause dying wish. My illness didn't leave nor did you but was it all worth it? To end up loving…you?..

To all you were cold but alone you shined like a burning heat. The name my brain sings a song of was you! My king. Why can't you see, I love you! Even when you make me cry to an endless lullaby.

When you loved me it was too late. I ran away.

This one loves me more than you! His red hair was shining like the sun. I think I like it more then the colour purple.

See red was a commoner and he loved me in time 

Your just a soon to be king and it was to late for love this time 

-your 'wife' "

Tears fell on the note with this tiny thought that went with the singing note 

"If I knew you loved me it might have not been to late, my Queen I wish you the best but this village will die with me as its own Destiny"

The king began to stand up and walk towards his balcony

As he ripped the curtains to the balcony open he stepped foot on the hard payment floor

Eyes widen with what he caused he now sees the mess and a redhead carrying a young beautiful girl that once looked like a flower unmoving she didn't even look like herself pale and gone.

Only now dose the king really see all the horror he has caused what a mess he has made 

The king who truly had hated himself was struck with the real hearted he hasn't faced but act as if he had 

" See what you have caused your highness! Do you see?!" 

The king spoke 

"Do you really believe I loved her knowing him status, he should have never been nor be in my life or private for that matter now that thing out of here I find it of no use since it can't be if any now of it current state"

The old man fukuzawa replied upon the Kings words 

"It's to late when I arrived to help but came only in time to hear and see his dying breath 

My king"

The king took a breath 

"This is for the best 

he was only getting in my way 

Believing he could make me love him 

he was only foolish "

The old man of the village looked a little taken aback but began to speak

"If you truly hated yourself my king you would have not been able to love 

Not be able to trust another 

And this kingdom would have fallen a long time ago without your husband here in your present and past moments "

The king started to appear angrier by the second

"What do you know? Your not me"

"No im not but I watch and understand that this should be the moment and time you realise that without him your broken 

I mean as soon as he left you've destroyed your kingdom your very own village 

 No to be rude my king but please 

Now let that sink in "

People had a special heart for flowers; some could declare as the roses were the most beautiful flowers, while others defend the cloak and sword, that the carnations were in fact, the most beautiful flowers. The king Liked the blue flowers hydrangeas. To be the most beautiful, there were much more beautiful things although no less pretty as he was.

he had the smell and personality of this flower 

That's what he loved of dazai but he never noticed so he decided to take action, right as dazai finally noticed him, now that was his mistake

Cause look where he ended up in.

He's broken and his heart has made cracks slowly but surely ready to break if he makes even one single difference mistake of breath 

dazai couldn't dissolve all my pain 

he didn't fix my pieces of a torn heart, nor did she get me new ones, she didn't ignore the missing parts Only except what was left of me 

Like anyone could anyways. i was ruined before anyone knew of my existence, before he got to notice me.

I was…afraid, he will end up being my new happiness and get the same ending as my old. My darling stayed, stayed and loved me! 

I want to go back and do what I couldn't

I want to kiss the scars left on his delicate skin.

He just can't seem to realise dazais gone and when he finally dose its a rush to his head all the thoughts and emotions consume him and try to suffocate him 

 I want to say what I didn't.