Chapter 222: Tough.
(Extra chap!)
[Edward POV]
The black Audi sliced through the deserted streets, its engine roared loudly, the only audible sound in the enveloping darkness of the night.
As we made our way home, the car was enveloped in a heavy silence. Taylor, her nose reddened and eyes still watery,she'd been crying since earlier. Fatigue marked my face as I drove her back to her place, knowing I would return on my own afterward.
The tension between us had escalated after she read the text messages from Abby. It led to a heated argument that reached its peak, prompting me to pull over the car. In an isolated location, far from any familiar surroundings, we found ourselves on a deserted sidewalk, shouting topics that we knew we would regret about the next day.
"2 AM TEXTS ARE A BOOTY CALL!" Taylor shouted, aggrieved as she got out of the car and stormed away. I quickly followed her as the road was dark, and there was no way that I would leave her alone there.
I fell in disbelief as I heard her say, "She's texting me for work! She needs access to my servers to search for some evidence."
"Don't try to make me look like I'M THE OBSESSIVE ONE! You are still longing for her, even after it's been months since you guys broke up!" She shrieked.
"We're friends." I tried to cool down and spoke to her calmly. I grabbed her wrist to prevent her from walking further away and forced her to face me.
"No you're not. Friends don't treat each other like that!" She snapped my hands away and shouted to my face.
"Really? Then what about us? Are we not still 'friends', even after we did everything together?" I said with slight agitation. I knew I was being difficult, but I needed the answer.
Taken aback, Taylor said, "No. We're not friends. We're more than that. That's why it's weird that you're still responding to her. Why are you even texting with her? Didn't she block you on everything?"
"Look. She texted me before I got kidnapped, warning me of the attack." I explained.
"So? Say thanks and then block her again!" She demanded.
Feeling a little irked, I replied annoyedly,"Why? You can't decide who I can and cannot be friends with."
"If you love me, then you should do that anyway!" She raised her voice.
"Really? You want to talk to me about love? Even when you're the one who keeps rejecting the notion of us being together." I said venomously.
"See. You're a master of finding ways to make it all about you again. I'm the one who's hurt here!" She said defensively.
"Make it about me? When did I ever do that? Huh?" I demanded with agitation.
She was being evasive but as I confronted her, "Taylor, Tell me what you're thinking!"
Her feelings finally bubbled out, "I WAS THE ONE ROBBED ON STAGE BEFORE. But my name is barely coming out in the media! It's all about you! YOU! YOU! …And your stupid kidnapping thing!"
Taylor was shocked when she heard what came out of her mouth.
My stomach churned and my face fell. I couldn't believe my ears."Wait. You're blaming me…because I got… kidnapped?"
Startled by her own choice of words and my reactions, Taylor burst into tears and she stammered while gripping at my shirt, "No.I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it like that."
I stood there blankly as her tears fell out. She added, " I just… Just…feel it's unfair… You can have everything you want in the world. But I…I have to depend on you for everything." She raised her face and touched mine. "Ed. I love you, but I also hate you. You…You're blessed with talents…while I…" She said while crying.
Feeling of dejavu hits me. This made me remember the day my mom left. It made me felt disconnected from reality for a while.
"Ed?" She asked as she calmed down a bit, but her eyes were still teary.
I asked stoically, repressing my emotions. "How long did you have these feelings? Is that why you were being so overcompensating today?"
Her chin quivered as she looked down and nodded. I sighed and slowly removed her hand clutching my shirt. Startled and nervous, Taylor reacted panicky, "I'm sorry."
"No. You don't need to apologize. In fact, I'm the one who should apologize to you." I said, making her burst into tears again.
With a stressed out crying face, she said shakily, "Are you breaking up with me?"
…
[General POV]
As the first rays of sunlight pierced the horizon, Ted returned from his overnight cruise trip and made his way back to the mansion. Upon entering the house, he noticed the staff members approaching him with restless expressions, immediately sensing that something was amiss.
Concern etched across his face, Ted asked, "What is it?" The staff members guided him towards the indoor pool area, urging him to enter alone.
Stepping into the pool area, Ted's eyes widened with worry as he beheld Edward floating motionless in the water. Edward hadn't even bothered to remove his clothes before entering the pool. His vacant gaze was fixated on the ceiling, and he remained completely still.
It had been nearly two hours since Edward assumed his motionless position, causing deep concern among the staff members. Ted observed his son closely, letting out a sigh before taking off his shoes and settling down at the pool's edge, dipping his feet into the warm water.
"Ed," he called out to his son.
Edward responded flatly, "Oh, you're back."
"How are you feeling?" Ted inquired, hoping to elicit a response. Edward closed his eyes, relaxing his body without answering his father's question.
Concerned and seeking answers, Ted pressed further, "What happened?"
Edward replied with a nonchalant tone, "Nothing much," still keeping his eyes shut.
Ted's intuition led him to ask, "Did something happen with Taylor?" He knew that Taylor was expected to visit the mansion, but her absence made him suspect that she might be somehow involved in the scene unfolding before him.
Edward remained silent, his facial expressions fluctuating. Ted, recognizing the need for patience, asked again, "Did you guys break up? Remember, you can always talk to me about things."
There was a pause, the sounds of birds chirping filling the pool area as both father and son remained silent. Ted respected Edward's space, allowing him to gather his thoughts and speak when ready.
Finally, Edward broke the silence, uttering, "We didn't break up. But…"
Ted didn't interrupt and let Edward finish his sentence on his own.
Edward continued, "We won't be with each other anymore. We can't really break up when we never even started."
Ted thought for a while before he asked, "What happened between you two?"
Edward opened his eyes slightly, his gaze turned conflicted. After a few seconds, he muttered, "Our relationship was problematic from the start. She's always had reservations, and we just didn't really click well."
"I see." Ted listened with understanding. "Is that why you're floating around like a dead body on the water?"
"Yes." Edward replied, his blank expressions unchanged. Ted asked again, "Or is there something else bothering you?"
Edward hesitated for a bit, and took a deep breath before saying, "I don't know…She said similar things to mom, right before she left."
Ted's face twitched and he turned serious. Edward continued, "There's already two people who can't stand to be with me. Sometimes, I wonder, if there is someone out there that can really accept me."
"You will find someone." Ted said with a slight chuckle. He looked at the ceiling as he reminisced about the past. "It's going to be hard, but you will find someone who will accept you, and love you for who you are."
"Big talk coming from the man who just started a new relationship in his 40s," Edward snarked with a flat tone.
Ted chuckled and replied, "Yeah, it is big talk. But it's what I believe in."
Finally turning to face his father, Edward's wet hair hung in front of his eyes. "Even after all that happened to you?" he questioned, his voice heavy with emotion.
Ted's expression turned somber as he reminisced. "Your mother and I... we were great in the beginning. After we settled down in the States, we were genuinely happy."
Edward interjected, "Then it all went downhill because of me?"
Ted shook his head gently. "No, not because of you. Our struggles started even before you were born when we first tried for a baby, years ago."
Confusion clouded Edward's face. "What do you mean?"
Ted sighed, his eyes filled with sadness. "You know, if fate hadn't been so cruel, you might have had a brother and a sister alongside you today."
Edward's eyes widened in shock, his heart heavy with the weight of his father's words. Ted looked at his son and continued, "At first, we were overjoyed when Miranda found out she was pregnant. It was everything we had hoped for. But around five months into her pregnancy, she... she had a miscarriage."
The pain of that loss took a toll on both of us. Your mother turned to religion, burdened by immense guilt. She believed it was a punishment from God, that she needed to repent. She prayed every day and cried every night for nearly a year until we discovered she was pregnant again."
"But, as I said, God is cruel," Ted's voice trembled with emotion. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he covered them with his hands. "He took your brother away too." He paused, struggling to regain composure. "That nearly broke your mother. She became a mere shell of the woman I once loved."
"It took all my strength to bring her back," Ted said, his voice filled with difficulty. He removed his hands from his eyes and smiled at Edward. "We were exhausted, drained, and on the verge of giving up on each other. But that's when you came along, injecting a renewed desire to fight within us."
Memories flashed through Ted's mind—the countless hours he spent by Miranda's side during her third pregnancy, the image of her tenderly cradling her growing belly with love in her eyes.
"That's why you always were our little miracle. You are our blessing from God," Ted expressed with deep affection.
Edward's stoic facade finally cracked, tears welling up in his eyes. Ted smiled and continued, "Though we may have had our differences in how we raised you, there's one thing we both agreed on: We love you, more than words can express."
Edward's gaze remained fixed on the ceiling, his emotions swirling within him. Suddenly, a chuckle escaped his lips, tinged with self-deprecation. His voice trembled, " I suddenly wonder what would have happened if I actually did have siblings. Would…I still feel as lonely as I am feeling right now?"
Ted entered the water and slowly moved towards Edward. He pulled him into a warm embrace. They stepped out of the pool, Edward's fingers wrinkled from the extended time in the water
With Edward draped across his back, Ted carried him towards his room. Along the way, the weariness and emotional weight took their toll on Edward, and he drifted into a peaceful slumber on his father's back. for too long.
…
"Is he okay?" Max asked worriedly after Ted returned from Edward's room.
"I don't know. I hope so." Ted replied. Max nodded in understanding and said, "It must be hard for him. Break ups are really traumatizing at that age. Well, not for me, but the boys I leave behind at the door. "
"I don't think that's the issue– Wait, you know what? Maybe it is." Ted replied and then he sighed.
A few hours later, Edward slowly woke up from his sleep on top of his bed.
"Ugh. My head." He muttered while holding his forehead. After getting back to the mansion, he had downed a few bottles of wine, therefore he had quite a hangover right now.
"Robin, what time is it?" Edward asked. However, there was no answer. "Right. My laptop is in the office..and my phone..." Edward looked at the broken Apple phone near the nightstand. He entered the pool without emptying his pockets, therefore his phone was useless now.
Feeling tired, Edward laid back on the bed with his hands sprawled out. Then, he thought out loud, "I still need to finish the design for the comms tower…And I also need to make sure she's okay."
Taylor's out of the state tour was starting today, and she would leave soon. Therefore he wanted to make sure she was okay. Edward slowly got out of the bed, and his leg suddenly pressed the synthesiser board on the floor, producing a loud sound.
"Oh, right. I went crazy last night," he muttered with a wry smile, acknowledging his own reckless behavior.
In his mind, Edward believed he had gone slightly overboard. Yet, in the grand scheme of things, his actions were relatively mild compared to some of the other eccentricities displayed by the residents of the mansion, such as Denise and her pet elephant.
Edward picked up the synthesizer, and he pressed the keyboards randomly. Then, he sighed and said, "What the hell am I even doing?"
As he continued pressing the keyboard, it suddenly turned into a melody. Edward relaxed himself as he let the music possess him, and he started playing a song.
[Save Myself– Ed Sheeran]
Alone in the bedroom, he sang, "♫♪I gave all my oxygen to people that could breathe…I gave away my money and now we don't even speak…I drove miles and miles, but would you do the same for me?♫♪"
"♫♪Oh, honestly?♫♪"
The resurfacing pain from being abandoned. The anxiety of wanting to keep people close to him. Edward released it all in the song, "♫♪Offered off my shoulder just for you to cry upon.Gave you constant shelter and a bed to keep you warm♫♪
♫♪They gave me the heartache and in return I gave a song♫♪
♫♪It goes on and on♫♪
His voice was heart wrenching to those who heard it. Max and Ted, who wanted to check up on him, suddenly heard the song and stopped themselves from opening the door to listen.
Edward crooned, "♫♪Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels!
I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills!"
"And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf♫♪"
"♫♪No farewell♫♪"
"♫♪So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself♫♪"
In Taylor's apartment, the teen pop star stood before the mirror, her nose and cheeks flushed with a reddish hue. Gripping a pair of scissors, she hesitantly began to cut off her long blonde hair. The sound of the scissors slicing through the strands filled the room, accompanied by the weight of her emotions.
"♫♪I gave you all my energy and I took away your pain
'Cause human beings are destined to radiate or dream
What line do we stand upon 'cause from here looks the same?
And only scars remain♫♪"
With her hair uneven, one side longer than the other, Taylor gazed at her reflection in the mirror. The guilt she carried within her surged to the surface once more, overwhelming her fragile state of mind. She covered her face with her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks.
♫♪Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf
My farewell
So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself♫♪
Vanessa Hudgen, Edward's new friend, stood frozen in front of the door of her boyfriend's house.
"♫♪But if don't
Then I'll go back
To where I'm rescuing a stranger
Just because they needed saving just like that♫♪"
She saw her boyfriend shirtless, and her friend who was standing next to him, wearing only his shirt. "Vanessa–" Zac called her, but Vanessa ran away crying.
♫♪Oh, I'm here again♫♪
Edward's tone turned slightly monotonic, "♫♪Between the devil and the danger. But I guess it's just my nature.My dad was wrong. 'Cause I'm not like my mum♫♪"
He sang with a self-deprecating smile, "'Cause she'd just smile and leave while I'm complaining in a song.♫♪"
Ted, who was listening intently, sighed as he heard the statement.
"♫♪But it helps."
"So before I save someone else…I've got to save myself♫♪"
The melody reverberated throughout the entire room. Edward found himself lost in the song as his mind became cleared up.
"♫♪Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf
My farewell♫♪"
Vader, his black cat jumped on the bed, and snuggled her way into his lap. Edward smiled as he petted the cat and used only one hand to play.
He sang, "♫♪So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself♫♪
♫♪And before I blame someone else, I've got to save myself♫♪
♫♪And before I love someone else.... I've got to love…. Myself♫♪
As the melody faded, Vader meowed and licked Edward's hand. Edward smiled and petted the cat before putting the synthesizer away. He then stood up, carrying the cat, and went on to change his clothes.
"I guess. I need a fresh start." Edward muttered as he looked into the mirror. He held a few strands of his long hair, "And maybe a haircut too."
(Season 3 ends)