In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour
Thought he passed his own shadow, by the backstage door
Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain
And that one guitar, made his whole life change
Now he needs to keep on rockin', he just can't stop
Gotta keep on rockin', that boy has got to stay on top
********
There was an intense silence in the lobby of the Titans Tower.
On one side, I stood with my Family.
On the other was the Caped Crusader, the Man with a Plan, DCs very own Deus Ex Machina, the meme-lord himself, Batman.
You could cut the tension with a knife.
"...what is he doing?"
Or, if you are Nightwing, with a whisper.
Glynda let out a long-suffering sigh.
"He's Dio-posing."
It was all I could do not to laugh at how defeated she sounded when she said the words. As if the mere fact that she could recognize a Jojo reference was enough to make her want to die.
When I had first landed on Earth, baring spending time with the Family, working with Medea to try and build a body, and flying, I had a lot of time on my hands while the rest of the women went out to verify our knowledge of the world.
Thankfully, the mansion came equipped with every book, game, or show ever produced up to the time of our joining from our home worlds. This included all the Dark Souls games and Bloodborne.
The only reason the women of the Family didn't know about it was that Priscilla was the only one to play video games. Even then, she disliked RPGs and had yet to explore that portion of our game library. In the year she spent on the Island, she hadn't even made a dent in the fighting games alone, let alone others.
Even if she had played them, it is not like it would have helped me. I had spent so much time in those worlds I knew them inside and out. Elden Ring would have been the exception, but it had yet to be released by the time of my incarceration and was thus not included in the mansion.
With all my hobbies available to me and time to kill, what did I do?
Did I use that free time to rewatch every episode of Jojo's Bizzare Adventure up to Stone Ocean?
Yes. Yes, I did.
Among other things, watching TV together is a great way to spend time with a partner when you want a stress-free day. It can be an excellent way to learn about your partner's likes and dislikes and lead to more conversation starters later.
Glynda, Medea, and Priscilla had been the three most often relegated to Baby-Cthulu-sitting duty. The witch was usually engaged with her other hobbies, and most of my time with Priscilla was spent playing multiplayer games. That left Glynda as the woman who spent the most time with me when we would watch TV.
To be honest, she got the better deal.
Sure, she watched the entire Jojo series and other shows I was interested in, but I had to sit through her soap operas.
If I had to sit through one more melodramatic confession of betrayal, cheating partners, long-dead twins, or similar drama for stupid reasons, I would reject my humanity.
"...how long is this going to go on for?" Nightwing asked in another whisper.
I didn't look at him, too busy winning the stare-down with Batman.
My proudest achievement to date.
I couldn't help it.
I was in a playful mood.
Yesterday had started as a cluster fuck, but after coming to an agreement with Diana and Artoria, I then went on to spend a night on the town with six incredible women. Capping it off by taking Nico Robin to bed for hours of intense sex.
It was hard not to feel giddy.
"If we let him?" Glynda asked rhetorically, sounding absolutely done. "Literally forever."
"You know, my team is waiting. I thought this would take less time. They aren't even saying anything. Just staring at each other."
Nightwing was clearly young. He didn't understand the battle of wills between the Dark Knight and me.
Clearly, Bruce needed to teach him better.
Of course, there is a victor and a loser in all battles.
"I have had enough of this," Scathach said as she reached up and swatted me on the back, breaking my stare-off with the Bat.
And my pose.
In a battle between two men, it is their wives that win.
Though both wives were mine, I counted it as my win by technicality.
The best kind of win.
"Come on." I was not pouting. You were. "He was clearly doing it too. I didn't even get to make the joke."
"You can make it later," Scathach said. Neither she nor Glynda looked really angry, but they were definitely done with my shit, so I refrained from commenting. Turning to the leader of the Titans, she spoke. "Lead us to the rest of your team. I will evaluate them."
Nightwing subtly looked to his former mentor, and whatever he saw in the caped man must have been a signal because the former Robin nodded at the Celt.
"I figured you'd want something like that," he turned and started to lead us deeper into the building. "They're gathered in our largest training room. I'll show you the way. It is underground, so we'll take the elevator. Most of the PRT staff are gone for the day."
Probably to protect them if it turned out we were hostile. This lobby was probably a kill box or as close as the former partners could make it in their limited time. They had reduced as many variables as they could before meeting us.
Impressive for only a few hours of warning.
Both Glynda and Scathach followed him, and I made to do the same when a voice stopped us in our tracks.
"Elden Lord."
Jesus, did the man gargle rocks? Or was it some sort of voice modulator? Either way, I looked at Batman with an eyebrow raised in question.
The hero had moved as we did, though he was walking towards another doorway, not looking at us.
I rolled my eyes.
Both women looked at me with a question in their eyes, and I nodded at them to follow Nightwing as I followed his mentor.
His not-too-subtle powerplay wasn't a good enough reason for me not to at least see where this was going. And, as I said, I was feeling playful.
"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na... BATMAN!"
If I was humming Adam West's Batman theme under my breath?
Well, that was just because I found how he tensed the first few times I said his name funny.
I finished my song after we had passed through a few twisting hallways and down a few flights of stairs. I didn't comment on the man's knowledge of the layout of a protectorate building despite being a member of the Justice League.
Information security? What is that? Is it tasty?
Batman led me to a steel door and opened it without issue despite the card reader next to it being red.
The room itself was small, but it also wasn't cramped. A few chairs and a desk were the only pieces of furniture. The central standout was one wall entirely made out of glass. I followed Gotham's Knight to look out into an absolutely massive room.
Easily the size of a football field and tens of meters deep, we looked out over the underground training field illuminated by bright ceiling lights that were only a few feet above us.
I saw the other Titans milling about and talking to each other.
Beast Boy, a green-skinned young man who could turn into animals.
Winman, formerly Kid Win, a tinker specializing in modular items.
Starfire, a Tamaranean, a gold-skinned alien who could fly and fire bolts of superheated plasma.
X-23, Wolverine's clone/daughter, had a similar regeneration ability and an adamantine skeleton.
Mercury, a mutant whose entire body was made of silvery liquid mercury, could manipulate her body into various forms.
With seven active members, including Nightwing, this protectorate division was mid-size for one city, though small for the population. All the members were on the younger side, and none had any sidekicks. Despite protecting a city of over three million with few numbers, the Teen Titans' ability to hit above their weight class, their relative youth, and their long service made them one of the most popular teams in the US.
Batman and I watched the large doors on one side of the field open, allowing entree to my wives and Nightwing and drawing the attention of the young heroes.
We couldn't hear what they were saying from up here, but we could see the leader of the Titans say something to his team.
Then he was almost impaled by Gae Bolg.
As I watched the Queen of the Land of Shadows tear through the Teen Titans, Glynda watching from the side and making notes, I turned to the man standing beside me.
"So," I asked, not even trying to hide my humour at the situation. "Why so serious?"
********
Raven fought to keep her face from showing any emotion.
Then she fought harder to stop feeling any emotion at all.
She failed.
"She's blue. I'm green. It's a total match." Raven could feel the undercurrent of lust and envy in Garfield as he showed a picture to Chris.
"She's also a goddess. And married. That's not cool, man, and I don't know about you, but I don't want to get on the bad side of a dragon that ate the Simurgh" despite his words, Raven could also feel a tinge of lust in Chris. Unlike their green friend, it was tinged with fear.
A lot of fear.
Understandable. The Simurgh had been a nightmare for everyone, especially psychics and tinkers. It was the right move to be wary of a creature that had eaten it in one gulp.
Raven tried to smother the anger the thought of the Elden Lord brought. It wasn't his fault they had been deployed to the other side of the world for a fight that never happened. Nor was he responsible for the lack of sleep last night, as Nightwing wanted to brief the team on the situation that had occurred while they were in Australia.
It also wasn't his fault that the team had spent the last twenty minutes in their training hall waiting for their illustrious leader to arrive and let them know why he had gathered them.
This was one of the few times Raven had a day off, and she could spend it reading, meditating, or doing anything other than standing around doing nothing.
"Not her," Garfield protested. "But she's an alien, right? So there are bound to be more like her where she's from, right? So I find out where she's from, ask Star for directions, and we go there on vacation. I hear the League is working on some spaceships now that Ziz is gone. A week or two off, and we drown in blue tail. It'll be awesome!"
"And how will we find out where she is from?" Chris continued to look dubious.
Raven consciously tried to tune out the rest of that stupid conversation.
The girls weren't much better.
"Look, I don't judge," Cessily was telling Kori. Laura was nearby but, much like Raven, preferred to keep silent. "If it works for them, great. But if a guy I'm dating tries to sleep with others, no matter the reason, I will show him exactly what I think of cheating." Her hand flowed into a silvery mace, which she swung for emphasis.
"But Friend Mercury," Kori pressed with a pout. She was flying probably a bit too close to the mutant than was comfortable, but most of the Titans were well used to the alien's friendliness. "What about other males? If one boy-friend is good, two or more must be of the better?" Despite her words, Raven only felt pure curiosity from the gold-skinned woman.
"Now that is different," Cessily said with a smirk. There was definitely lust in her mind as well as amusement. "A guy can't get you off? Move on to the next. One of them is bound to know what they are doing. But that is only for a wild night or two. Not something I would want long term. Too many personalities. If you fight with one boyfriend, imagine the fights with two or three?"
"Were polyamourous relations common on Tameran?" Laura asked before the alien princess asked another question.
"Very much so. There was lots of the love to go around. As a princess, I was to be of the married to one person, like my parents. It is for the... Blood road?"
"Bloodline," Cessily corrected quickly.
"Bloodline."
Raven also tuned them out and decided to get what meditation she could while they continued to wait.
Of course, as soon as she decided to do that, the doors to the training room opened, admitting Nightwing and two unexpected guests.
Raven felt Laura's emotions churn at the sight of the purple-clad woman.
While the mutant had moved to the west coast to get independence from her 'father,' X-23 and Wolverine still cared for each other. Anger, wariness, admiration and confusion warred in her at the sight of the woman who had handily kicked Weapon X's ass.
"These are Scathach and Glynda Goodwitch," Nightwing introduced the women. As if he hadn't spent last night going over the dossiers with them that the League had thrown together after the 'Doomsday Incident.'
Scathach: Irish/Scottish (depending on the telling). Melee and likely magic. Known as a trainer of famous heroes. Can summon spears. Can likely turn into a dragon.
Glynda Goodwitch: Extreme telekinetic, possibly telepathic. Possible melee abilities depending on the use of a riding crop. Possible magic user. Can definitely turn into a dragon. Dragon form enhances already considerable telekinesis.
Both were 'consorts' of the Elden Lord and very formidable women.
But what were they doing here?
Just as her teammates were looking at them, the pair were eyeing the Titans, looking them up and down. Evaluating them. Judging them. Raven could not feel their emotions, but she thought their eyes remained on her longer than the others.
"Duuuudddddeeeee," Garfield said in a low whisper.
"I know, right?" Chris responded just as lowly.
The way both women looked at the young men made it clear they had heard them, and one didn't need to be an empath like Raven to know what they were thinking.
"To foster communication," Nightwing continued as if he hadn't heard his male teammates. "These two have volunteered to act as ambassadors for the rest of their group. They will be with us for a week and have volunteered to act as combat instructors. They claim to have extensive experience teaching."
Raven felt a ripple of discontent and wounded pride pass through her teammates at their leaders' words.
Their team was young, sure, but they also had been heroes for years. They knew what they were doing. On top of small timers like Control Freak or HIVE, they had contended with the likes of Dakan, Sabretooth, Crimson and Winter, and The Fallen. Even Mole Man a few times since the Fantastic Four had retired.
They weren't the Justice League or the Avengers, but they were still one of the Protectorate's stronger and more popular branches.
"You are not convinced," Scathach said plainly as she noticed the effects of Nightwing's words. "Then let me convince you."
Then she stabbed Nightwing in the back.
He was probably expecting something like this when he incited his teammates, so he was ready to dodge out of the way, turning to face the Celt and drawing his escrima sticks to block any follow-up blows.
Their leader definitely didn't expect the woman to run behind him again and plant her foot in his ass, sending him flying over Goodwitch's head and back toward the entrance. The hero recovered and landed in a roll, turning to face the group.
The taller blonde didn't even blink at the outbreak of violence, drawing a tablet from somewhere and stepping to the side.
"You have courage," Glynda said to their leader. Scathach just watched the hero, her back towards the Titans, who were still blinking in surprise. "And skill. You should have gotten closer to your team and alerted them to your plan before trying to instigate a fight, especially against an unfamiliar enemy. Now the rest of you, attack."
As if taking her words as orders, the group threw themselves into action.
Starfire was the quickest, blasting star bolts at the back of the woman even as she flew closer. The Celt quickly side-stepped the blasts without even looking and turned around slowly in time to catch a gold-skinned arm extended in a punch.
Scathach tossed Starfire over her shoulder.
"Good speed and strength. Like your leader, you should have waited. Taken shots and maintained your distance until you could attack with the rest." Glynda said, writing something on her tablet.
Beast Boy bore down on the purple-clad woman as an enormous green-skinned rhino, ready to gore the enemy on his horn.
"Good instincts," Glynda commented as Scathach side-stepped and planted the butt of her spear in the nape of the creature's neck. It was a testament to its thick hide that when it turned back into a man, he was only coughing slightly rather than dealing with a collapsed larynx. "You two are the only ones who've attacked with intent to kill. Mercy is the blessing of the strong. You are not the strong in this fight."
"Ack!" Beast Boy's cleaver reply would never be heard.
X-23, hidden by the rhino's bulk and the other person of whom Glynda spoke, just growled. Two metal claws on each hand flashed at Scathach's throat while she was striking the green beast.
The Celt took one step back and swung her spear as she avoided the claw. The heroine ducked under the weapon, her foot lashing upwards. The metal claw passed harmlessly in front of the Celt's face.
"You are the Wolverine's child?" Scathach asked, speaking for the first time. "You move like him."
Then she used her spear to impale the young woman's remaining foot to the ground.
"Laura!" Mercury cried as she caught up to her friend, who had cried out in pain. The silvery woman placed herself between her friend and Scathach, who had summoned a new spear to deflect a few bullets from Winman on his hoverboard.
"Instinct will only get you so far," Glynda continued to take notes. "Even if you can heal, it is better to avoid blows whenever possible. Especially if they inhibit movement. And you. Why did you not attack? Protecting a comrade is good. Doing so when they are not in danger is stupid. You wasted a valuable opening."
Raven hadn't been idle while the others fought. She had been concentrating on her magic, pulling the equipment from its place along the walls and gathering it into a massive lump to throw at the purple-haired woman. Winman tossed one of his AOE stun pads into the mess, a hidden trap if the woman tried to dodge.
The woman effortlessly weaved around the bars, bags, dumbells, and other exercise equipment, only needing to bat away a few metal bars that Raven took personal control of. The stun pad landed nearby, and Winman pressed his remote detonator.
Before the first spark escaped the device, a barbed spear split it.
"You lack control," Glynda looked up for the first time from her pad to watch Raven's attack. "A few well-directed attacks are better than one big blind one. And next time you try and trap someone like that, attach the device to another object to hide it. The point of a trap is to be unseen."
Though only a few seconds had passed since the start of the brawl, Nightwing had already returned and was engaging Scathach with his weapons.
They exchanged a few blows before Beast Boy tried to entangle the woman as an octopus. While the Celt dodged and batted away the appendages, Nightwing took the distraction as an opportunity to drop a smoke bomb, obscuring the area.
Raven pulled Beast Boy from the smoke, also removing the spear from X-23s foot, as Starfire and Winman blasted the area from the air. The Cambion guided the weapon along the ground, aiming to keep it unnoticed.
A heeled boot emerged from the debris, kicking the red spear up at Winman, knocking his hoverboard from the air and sending him tumbling down.
Starfire stopped firing to catch him while Mercury wrapped herself around Schathach's other leg. X-23 lunged, her claws extended to impale the unbalanced opponent.
The Celt turned her weapon kick into a backwards cartwheel, severing the liquid metal from her foot with her other spear. Her backward movement placed her back into the smoke, obscuring her from view slightly, but X-23 followed her in, her enhanced senses aiding her. Nightwing was already duelling the woman, having charged forward as soon as Starfire stopped firing.
"Much better teamwork," Glynda complimented, typing once more. "The smoke was a bad call. It inhibited your vision more than hers. Mercury should have tried to cut off the foot the moment she had it. Starfire should have left the rescue to Beast Boy while she aided the group."
"I'm not trying to maim her!" Mercury cried in disbelief.
"You should be," Glynda continued plainly, not even looking up. "The healing of this world can fix a lame foot. Only my husband can fix death. And he will not. So if you have to choose between crippling an enemy and the lives of others, whatever you decide is what you have to live with."
"This is training!" Winman answered in turn, strafing around to recollect his board.
"This is training," the blonde agreed, but her voice sounded anything but comforting. "Scathach is teaching you to fight." Raven banished the smoke, allowing her to catch sight of Scathach twirling her spear to knock X-23's claws into Nightwing's escrima stick. "We have different teaching styles and goals. By the end of this week, you will fear her much more than me. Listening to me will spare you some pain."
Beast Boy entered the fray by flying above the woman as a hummingbird and turning into a whale, angled to not land on his teammates.
The Celt planted her spear tip down in the ground and took two steps away and closer to Nightwing. The changeling's weight drove him down on the weapon, and the sound that escaped the massive creature made the cambion's body shake.
"Do not expect her to be kind." Glynda continued once the Beast Boy turned back into his human form. "She has killed more of her students than have graduated. Her most famous pupil fought an army by himself and died standing tall after tying his guts to a rock. She will train you to be your best. She will only care about the wasted potential if you fail along the way."
Mercury took the lack of weapon in the Celt's hand as an opportunity to make up for her earlier lack of attack. As the purple-haired woman exchanged fists with Nightwing's weapons, the mutant curved her body around her leader to attack as a halo of blades of liquid metal, ready to impale the woman.
Scathach, rather than try and dodge or conjure another weapon, stepped closer to her opponent to grab the former Robin's wrist and pull him forward, forcing the mutant to cancel her blades or risk friendly fire.
"She is teaching you to fight," Glynda repeated with emphasis. "I am teaching you to survive. Her goal for students is to become the best they can be. My goal is for my students to make it home alive. You have one week. If, in the end, we find your dedication, skill, or talent lacking, we will leave to find better prospects. We are not so bored as to take students who do not learn and will die."
"We didn't ask for this!" Beast Boy yelled as he turned into a velociraptor and scrambled around from the melee approaching his downed form. Raven took the chance to pull both spears Scathach had summoned since the start of the battle away to prevent the Celt from rearming.
Winman released half a dozen drones, firing non-lethal but painful sparks at the woman. He had been using the last few moments to summon his power armour piece by modular piece and was now fully kitted out. He was taking care of suppressing fire, so Starfire landed on the ground behind the purple-haired woman.
"This has been most fun," the tamaranean said with a joyful smile. "But we have you surrounded."
Weaponless, Scathach faced Nightwing. A hissing velociraptor on her left and a growling X-23 on her right, with a tamaranean princess behind. Around the group was a ring of liquid metal. In the air, six drones circled quickly under the watchful eye of Winman. Raven kept her distance, acting more as battlefield control than an active combatant but ready to start blasting if she got the opportunity.
It was a setup they had used multiple times in the past to devastating effects. Even Deathstroke fell into their hands when they managed to get their act together.
"If you think your status as heroes will give you special consideration, you are wrong." Glynda continued, uncaring for the predicament of her fellow. "You didn't ask for it, but if you do not take opportunities to learn when you have them, you are completely hopeless. I have seen a man rise to heights you cannot imagine with only the barest of instruction from us and starting with much worse fundamentals. He took advantage of everything he could get his hands on. I do not expect you to get that far, but if you refuse aid when given freely, even if painfully, we will simply leave."
There was a moment of silence as the Titans not only digested Glynda's words but also readied to attack the Celt.
They never got the chance.
"I've seen enough," Scathach said.
"Titans G-" Nightwing's order to charge was cut off by the woman stepping up to him and lashing out with a fist. He blocked it with his baton, but Schathach used her shorter stature to use her other fist to get inside his guard and punch him in his throat.
"Gak," the hero didn't even have time to gag before he was grabbed by the throat and tossed in the way of a leaping raptor.
Using his fallen weapons, Scathach batted away two clawed fists and smashed them into the temples of X-23. Even if she could heal, the brain-rattling gave the Celt the time to toss the escrima sticks at two of the drones, downing them, and grab the mutant's extended arms. Ducking under the feral woman's armpit, wrenching the limb in the process, Scathach avoided a punch from Starfire that could have destroyed a building. Manhandling X-23 like a puppet, the Celt continued her circling to slice a gash through the alien princess' side with an adamantium-tipped fist.
Raven grabbed the falling drones with her magic, tossing them at the opponent as she pulled both X-23 and Starfire away. Winman used his four remaining drones to rain bullets down now that his teammates were not blocking.
Scathach, in a feat of acrobatics that would have made anyone jealous, jumped over Mercury, trying to entangle her feet in place once more. She landed on one of the broken drones coated in Raven's magic with a light step. The half-demon cancelled her spell to let that one fall and concentrated on blasting the woman out of the air.
Scathach hopped over the blast of dark energy in a backflip, sending the drone down at an angle to land in the puddle that was Mercury. The remaining electricity in the machine sent the mutant into a spasming fit as her body was destabilized.
Raven released more power, changing her dark lance into a massive energy cone. She was trapped in midair, with bullets raining down on her and a magic blast tearing its way toward her.
Scathach smiled a little to herself.
She summoned a spear, not to her hand, but under her feet. Using it as a stepping stone, she launched herself further skyward. In less time than it took to blink, the Celt had grabbed the lip of Winman's hoverboard. With a pull and a twist of her body, the purple-haired woman flipped around the aircraft and kicked the hero from his perch.
He fell.
Though Raven knew his armour would absorb most of the blow, she tried to catch her teammate.
She failed when, in action that displayed supreme control of her body, Scathach continued her midair spin and tossed the hoverboard in her hand. It flew across the room in less than a blink to smack Raven in the sternum, driving the air from her lungs and knocking her from the air.
Scathach landed lightly on her feet as Raven and Winman crashed into the ground with violent thuds.
From the time the woman had entered the training room, less than a minute had gone by.
Less than ten seconds had passed when Nightwing tried to call on the Titans to charge.
"Good job," the Celt said, the tiniest of smiles on her face.
The Titans groaned in pain.
"You barely passed."
"This was a test?" Raven heard Beast Boy groan as he separated himself from their gagging leader.
She was too busy trying to breathe to sit up.
"It was. Glynda will teach you this week, as promised. I would only act as an opponent. Until you passed."
"What was the test?" Laura asked.
"Make me use my magic, outperform me when I used lesser stats, or make me summon more than two spears. You barely passed the last one, but your teamwork was enough."
Raven felt the emotions of her teammates, the anger, pain, and helplessness as they realized exactly how much the woman had been holding back.
"Nightwing. You are the weakest but the most skilled. Learn to use your team like weapons, or you will fall behind." Starfire, you are the reverse. All power, very little skill. We will work on that. Beast Boy, you need to be more flexible. You simply tried to crush me with size rather than creativity." Raven could feel how the Celt's words impacted her friends as the woman walked her way. "Mercury, stop playing it safe. X-23, control yourself. Winman, you need basic conditioning. Without your board or armour, you were useless."
From her place on the ground, gasping for air, Raven saw Scathach lean over her. Unable to sense her emotions, the cambion was forced to judge her facial expression alone.
It was not a good one.
"And you," Scathach said in a disappointed tone that bordered on disgust. "Your every action was tinged by fear. Either discard your fear or face it and overcome it. Or you will die."
The woman stepped away, and Raven lay there, panting and trying to control her emotions.
"You only have one week," Scathach said as she walked away. "I want everyone on their feet in five seconds. We will start with essential conditioning by running laps around the room. Yes, even you, Starfire. Mercury, you're with Glynda."
"How many laps?" Winman asked.
"Until I tell you to stop." Raven was sitting up and facing the back of the woman, so she couldn't see her face but judging by the emotions of her friends, it was not a reassuring sight.
"What about our duty?" Nightwing asked as he rose. "One or two must stay on watch, and we have patrols. We can't spend a week just training and ignoring the city."
Beast Boy and Winman looked at their leader in hope.
That hope was swiftly crushed.
"If anything happens, we'll know," Glynda answered for her fellow.
"So, you'll be the heroes?" Starfire asked with sparkling eyes.
"No," Scathach denied. "We'll simply bring you to where there's trouble. If you want to be heroes, learn to fight even when exhausted. Because if any of you go to bed without passing out, I have done my job wrong. Now run!"
At her last words, dozens of blood-red spears appeared above her shoulders and flew at them, tearing through where they had been if they hadn't started to run.
********
Batman only kept a tiny part of his attention on the training ground below and the earpiece that piped in sounds from his former protegee. He would go over everything in the training in more detail later, using the testimonies of the group and the footage of the cameras to get everything he could out of it.
Even without focusing on the outbreak of violence, what Batman saw threatened to tug his frowning face into a full scowl.
She was toying with them.
Scathach, if that was who she actually was, looked like she was dodging and evading easily. And she was, but Gotham's protector knew the Titans were unaware of how easily she was actually beating them.
From his vantage, it was evident to Batman how she controlled and regulated her abilities. When confronting Nightwing, she was slightly stronger and faster than an average thug. She used much more force when she threw Starfire than when hitting Beast Boy. But that same strength was less when duelling Logan's daughter.
The lancer was always slightly slower and weaker than whoever she was facing. She was making up the difference in attributes that she created with pure skill.
It was a display Batman would not have thought possible when he and Dick had set up this confrontation to probe the 'teachers' the Elden Lord would send.
He didn't believe the nonsense about fostering communication for a second. The Elden Lord was here for a reason.
Judging that he would learn nothing else for the moment, the Dark Knight focused wholly on the man beside him.
Tall, dark-haired, well-muscled, tan-skinned, wearing comfortable clothes. His face was passably handsome but not noteworthy. His only remarkable feature was his draconic eyes, and a pale blue ring on his left finger was the only odd article on his body.
He held himself with relaxed confidence as he gazed down through the window. His face was set in a soft smile, and his yellow-orange eyes looked at the fight with a warm fondness. When Scathach would score a hit, his lips would quirk into a proud smirk for a fraction of an instant.
Someone unaware would have thought he was a family man, looking at his wife with love and support.
Batman knew better.
This was but one of the Elden Lord's many masks.
The relaxed confidence belied a power that could destroy the world.
The soft smile hid a sadism that took pleasure in others' pain.
Those kind eyes watching the fight hid a mind that was, even now, learning more about the Titans than they were about his consorts.
Even his shadow, something Batman had been careful not to look at this entire time, hid a terrifying truth.
It was the latter that Batman suspected contained clues as to why they had chosen the Teen Titans for 'outreach.'
Raven was a common enough name. One who could manipulate shadows, or cast magic that made it look that way, was enough of a hint for Batman to make some conjectures.
If Diana, why not someone else as well?
As Scathach started the training earnestly, the Elden Lord turned his full attention onto Batman.
"So," he asked with an amused tilt of his lips. "Why so serious?"
Batman allowed the scowl to form this time.
The humour was another of the beast's masks, one that reminded the man too much of the Joker for his comfort.
"What is your goal?" He asked rather than answer such a stupid question.
"Hm?" If anything, the Elden Lord looked even more amused than before. "If we're answering questions with more questions, you tell me. If someone has infinite power, limitless wealth, immortality, more fame than anyone else in the world and a family of beautiful women, what more would that man want out of life?"
More.
That was the easy and obvious answer. Those who had always wanted more.
More money, more power, more women, more everything.
But if the Elden Lord was like other megalomaniacs, Batman would not have been as frustrated as he was by the thing before him.
Even just standing next to it gave him a headache.
There was no denying he had power, but so far, 'Mikael' had barely used it. He made no grand gestures to take over the world or bind others to his will. He asked for nothing and seemed to move on a whim.
Baring his efforts to gain a human body, every other action he took had been precipitated by one of his 'consorts.'
Whether it be Ranni acting as his herald, 'Diana' rescuing the heroes of this world, or 'Scathach's' desire to teach, it looked like he was being tossed around by the desires of his 'family.'
Batman did not believe that for an instant.
There was no power without purpose.
Whether his power was genuinely endless or it was simply the bragging of an egomaniac, so far, the heroes of this world had found no common purpose in all the Elden Lord's actions.
But they still learned a lot.
Time to use what they knew to get more.
All this passed through Batman's head in less than a second as he evaluated his words and actions to try and leverage them to the desired outcome.
"I don't buy it," Batman said, turning to face the other man and narrowing his eyes. "Not this fake image you are showing others. Not your fake heroism. Not that fake embarrassment-blushing act you pulled yesterday. How many innocent lives did you end when you conquered those worlds with kindness? You have millions of lives on your hands. An ocean of blood at your feet. You might have left those worlds, but you left an incalculable amount of death behind. So I don't buy your lies, and I will show everyone else that this is all a mask."
Most of this information had come from Diana's 'insight,' something the Elden Lord claimed to have no control over. Either he was lying, or it was information he didn't know they had.
Clark was willing to see the best in everyone, and Diana argued that death was inevitable in making worlds like Ranni's a better place.
It was up to him to be the voice of reason to his friends.
When the Elden Lord thought he wasn't being observed, he had gotten the greatest hints.
His manipulation of Amelia, Logan, and Charles in that graveyard had been a good hint of how he handled surprises and could grasp people's weaknesses.
His appearance on 'Priscilla's' stream gave away what sort of monster the Elden Lord really was. In less than a second, the man had gone from pretending to be a goofball to his 'wife' to a charming public speaker who had charmed an audience of tens of thousands with humour and wit.
If his humour reminded Batman of the Joker, then his separate personas reminded him of Two-face. Only controlled and bent to purpose.
The reason Batman tried to keep other heroes out of Gotham wasn't some ego-driven desire for control. It was because he believed, in his heart of hearts, that other heroes would lose.
One only needed to look at the Red Queen to show that even the best heroes could be driven to extreme actions by the Joker in an afternoon. If the Clown ever focused on someone like Superman? Batman did not want to imagine what would happen to his friend.
The Elden Lord was just as cunning, chaotic, and manipulative as others that called his home city theirs. Only he wielded enormous power, had numerous allies, and was smart enough to play the long game.
Batman's words of confrontation were to be used to expose him. He recorded everything from his cowl, sending the video to secure off-sight storage. Even if the Elden Lord did not outright admit to his manipulations or goals, whatever he said in denial would be used to further build a profile that would eventually lead to his defeat.
"You're saying you don't believe me? That you'll bring everyone else to their senses about me?" The monster looked at him, emotion filling his face.
Surprise? Did he not think anyone would catch onto his lies? No, it wasn't a surprise, or at least entirely. Another mask?
"That's right." Batman asserted. "Whatever your goal, I will not allow you to succeed."
The Elden Lord raised a hand, and Batman tensed, ready to press the emergency request button in his glove and summon Superman and Wonder Woman from a nearby room.
But then the dragon in human form gently put it on his shoulder, and Batman could read the emotion in those draconic eyes.
Joy.
"Thank you." The fake man squeezed his shoulder gently. "You have no idea how much that means to me. I knew today was going to be a great day."
For less than a second, Batman was so genuinely confused that he almost let his bewilderment show on his face, but it passed as he realized what was going on.
Another persona! One set up to allay those suspicious of him. How deeply did this dragon's plans run?
"You know, I was pretty worried we wouldn't get along," Mikael said as he released the hero's shoulder. He still looked thrilled. "With you being all edgy and all. I mean, you have a sense of humour, but you aren't allowed to laugh. If you do, the world is destroyed and everything. But now I know we'll be great friends, Bruce."
Batman didn't flinch at the name.
"Oh, don't worry about secret identities or anything." The Elden Lord waived off his imaginary concern. Clark had thought he was paranoid when he claimed that name choice on the stream was anything less than a random coincidence. "Diana talked about her friends a lot, so I feel like I already know you quite well. I'm sure you already guessed we knew, but you don't have to worry about us spreading it around. I would hate to upset my wife. Happy wife, happy life. Your secret is safe with me. Wink wink."
Every word out of the beast's mouth served only to mock Batman, despite his kind and happy tone. He was flaunting his knowledge.
He held all the cards.
"I know you don't believe me, and you'll keep trying to prove otherwise, but I genuinely think we can get along. Heroes are a brave and superstitious lot," a paraphrase of something Batman had once thought to himself when designing his hero persona. How did the Elden Lord know? "You'll keep trying to find proof of some grand plan. Go ahead. Do you know the best way to get information? A guys' night out! After this week, why don't you and I and a few others go for drinks and pool? As you can imagine, I'm drowning in estrogen at home. You grill me on my evil plan, and I get some guy friends. It'll be great!"
There it was. A clue!
Why the insistence on a week? Halloween? A spell, perhaps. Magic was an area Batman was limited in, but he was aware that certain holidays had unique properties.
"Why the Titans?" The world's greatest detective pressed. He had the time of the crime, and now he needed a motive. That would lead him to the act itself.
"Believe it or not, I really do want to make them better heroes." The fake persona would have fooled anyone else into believing the Elden Lord's words. "I admire heroes and don't want to see them die pointlessly. Especially the young. They have so much more Life left to live. By the end of the week, I guarantee they will be much better off than they are today."
But he was the goddamn Batman!
"You're mad if you think I'll believe that."
"Everyone is mad. It's our unique madness that makes us what we are." The Elden Lord smiled again as if making another joke, but Batman didn't get this one. "Out of all the heroes in this world, you are the one I like the best. You are like me."
"I am nothing like you!"
"You are," the Elden Lord asserted. "The more you are suspicious of me, the more you investigate, analyze, and evaluate, the more you will find similarities. Except I'm prettier. And smarter. And have a successful love life. And a much better sense of humour. Anyway, the point is I think we can be great friends. I'll be around for a while and need drinking buddies. The Family comes first, of course, but you can't only hang out with your wives."
Batman said nothing, staring the dragon in a human suit down.
"We'll set it for next Saturday. Invite Supes along, will ya? I'll see about getting a few others. Diana will love her husband and friends getting along."
The Elden Lord stepped to the glass and stepped through it in a reminder of how untouchable he considered himself to be.
"I will stop you." Batman reiterated, freezing the dragon for a moment. "Whatever your plan. We will stop you."
"Great!" Mikael said with a laughing smile. "I love having enemies. Especially ones that I'm friends with."
Still laughing to himself, he allowed himself to fall to the floor of the training room. The Titans froze in their training as he approached with wide arms.
"There is a cost to your training!" Batman heard him declare through his earpiece, his voice still buoyant. He tensed, ready to bust through and aid his protegee's team. "You must only address Scathach as Shishou! Anyone who fails to do so will be pranked mercilessly."
There was a moment of confused silence as the Titans looked at each other in bewilderment, and Glynda put her face in her palms.
In a reenactment earlier in the lobby, Scathach smacked her husband gently on the back of the head.
"Did I say stop running?" Weapons filled the sky once more at her words.
"Can I have an autograph?" Beast Boy yelled at the Elden Lord as he ducked under a spear.
"I'm free next Saturday," Clark said from his other earpiece.
If their talk had been a battle of wits, Batman couldn't help but feel he had been defeated as readily as the Titans.
I'm not gonna lie. This chapter fought me. A lot.
What to include. What to leave out. How to portray the characters. Mikael and Batman have a lot of similarities but just as many differences. I spent so much time struggling to get the words on the page that I didn't have time to do my usual edits, so apologies if this chapter feels a bit less polished.
Batman gets a lot of flack, some deservedly, and I'll be going a bit more into him in later parts, but, like how I've always tried to portray characters, there are parts to be admired and dismissed. Even my portrayal of characters is one of dozens of possibilities. Take from him and the Titans what you will.
I'm going to keep the note short today and wish you all a very Happy New Year, and I will see you all in 2023!