Chapter 5

" anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It' s the fear of failure, but no urge to be

. It' s wanting friends, but hate socializing. It' s wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely. It' s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb. "

💔💔💔💔

My life is not something you could describe as perfect. Being perfect doesn't even exist you can only have the best life full of sweetness but that doesn't mean its perfect. My life is full of sad days and they've grown to become the nightmare that hunts me day and night. All I am is sadness, every other emotion is pushed from my being. Where there was the love, the light, the laughter is an aching hollowness. I am a broken piece that can never be put together.

By 8:00 pm I dressed up in my short black skirt and my black crop top. Black is everything. Jenny was not back yet which was very weird.

I ordered for Uber to pick me up at my dorm. I got to my destination, got out of the car and head to the club across the street. I took a deep breath before entering the building, the first thing that welcomed me in, was a piece of loud music with a strong smell of alcohol and weed which as become a normal thing in every club.

I saw some couples making out at the entrance. When I got to the dance floor, I saw some teenagers grinding on each other with their half-naked body. They were all wasted.

At my left-hand side, was a bar. I took a seat and ordered for 7 shot of strong drinks from the bartender. I drank all of it within 1 minute, I was very high on alcohol.

Clubbing makes my synapses jump like beans in a tin. I couldn't be more alive if I was shouting from a mountaintop. Music is a drug that brings me higher, higher until my mind buzzes with pure joy.

It felt as if my soul will shine so bright my skin will start to glow like my aura would become visible. But the night is so young, my limbs have so much energy I could dance for millennia and then some more.

I started shaking my ass on the dance floor, a guy grabbed me from behind with his sweaty body and he was really close to me. I turned around to see who the guy was, a blue eye pierced through mine. The guy was hot and cute, he was irresistible, although his breath stink of alcohol. We danced to the beat and shake our body, then suddenly I felt like puking.

I ran outside and the unknown guy ran after me. I couldn't make it to the toilet so I puke at the entrance of the toilet. After everything, he introduced himself to me as "Jasper". I introduced my self also but I was really ashamed of myself. It was already late and I wanted to go home.

" I need to go home, it's getting too late already, " I explained while I made an effort to leave. He looked at me in a way I couldn't decipher. If looks could kill I will be dead by now.

I walked away from him but I felt a grip on my wrist that hurts like hell, pulling me back.

" What the fuck are you doing? I need to go home!" I screamed at him, I was still under the influence of alcohol. I wasn't even in the mood for this shit but the idiot wasn't letting go. I wanted to go to my dorm where I felt safe.

He pushed me against the wall and started kissing me harshly. I felt the urge to push him away but he was stronger than I am. I felt his hand in between my thighs. He shifted my panties to the side and shove his finger into my core, I moaned out in pain. I was struggling with him, but none of that had an effect on him.

Tears drop from my eyes as he continues harassing me sexually. I heard a familiar voice behind me before I knew it Jasper was on the ground holding his balls. I looked up to see Mr Frankie, and immediately I felt save. He pulled me into a hug and took me to his car.

The next morning I woke up and met myself in a Beautiful room. The bedroom was furnished on a meagre budget but it is full of more warmth than I have seen in many years. On the back wall is a mural, a tree with every colour of fall leaf imaginable and a few more besides. On the crude pine, the bed was a hand-embroidered orange cover.

From every wall smiled black and white photographs of Mr Frankie's as a child with his mother, his father, and his sister.

Then Mr Frankie bustled in with a tray of sandwiches and cake, his face so tired but wearing the same smile he wears in class. It is going to be strange to be here again, but wonderful.

"Thank you, Mr Frankie," I say while I smile, knowing too well he wasn't comfortable with that name, his facial expression tells it all. But I didn't care.

He frowned at me while I ate my sandwich.

"Call me Frankie instead," he said.

He sat down beside me and I felt uncomfortable. I shifted away from him a little which really look awkward. I was really horny just by his closeness, my nipples were getting hard and it pierced through the shirt I was putting on. My lady part turns jelly.

"How are you feeling?" he asked while I completely loosed my shit. A small moan escapes from my lips and I was ashamed of myself. He gave me an encouraging smile that made me more comfortable.

"I'm okay but how did I get here?" I asked

" Some pervert was harassing you, but I came at the right time to rescue you. I noticed you were completely drunk, so I decided to bring you to my apartment" he said with complete sincerity in his eyes.

He looked at me with lust and desire. His lips parted apart trying to say something but he couldn't.

"Why do you teach?" I asked breaking the silence between us

He cleared his throat before uttering any word.

"I guess I love my job," he says while I give him that unsatisfied look.

"Why don't you tell me what you were doing at the club drunk?" He asked.

I am so devastated but yet I couldn't escape his question.

"Nothing, " I blurted out with no conviction.

"You know I won't buy that shit. You look like someone running away from her past" he hinted like as if he knew something I don't know.

"As I said, nothing "

He came closer to me, he brought his hand further to my neck and he move away part of my hair, exposing my neck.

"Who gave you this mark?" his words were full of authority and it pierced through my soul.

I got really scared, I was scared because he reminds me a lot of him.

"Please let me be, I already told you it is nothing". I stood up from the bed and picked up my dress to change since I was wearing his clothes.

I went to the bathroom to change, and when I was done I left without saying a word to him.

I was having class by 2:00 pm, which means I had a lot of time to myself. Jenny was not around when I got to my dorm.

I changed into something more comfortable and lied down on my bed. I took my phone to check any notification, then I saw Joanna message from Facebook

Joanna: Hey bitch!😁

Me: Hello peanut butter😅.

I waited for her reply, then another notification popped up on my phone. Joanna and I kept chatting while I update her about my school so far and how it is here. She was so happy for me and she also told me about her found love and I was also happy for her too.

I dropped my phone and went to have my bath and I dressed up. When it was 1:30 pm I left for my class.