66. Chapter 66

AN: You know that statement that bad things happen in threes? Very wrong. I'm way over three. Life just plain sucks this month, and I've barely had time to breathe, let alone write. I did manage to finish this chapter, and proof another oneshot I've had for a bit, but it may be another couple days to a week before I have another chapter of HWA (providing another family member doesn't end up in the hospital). The new oneshot, which I'm posting at the same time as this, will be part one of a series of four oneshots revolving around the s5 finale. It's a bit different than what I usually write, but please give it a try. I'll get the next chapter of Where You Belong up as soon as possible!

Meredith sighed as she pushed open the front door and stepped into her front hall.

Dinner had been exhausting, and she hadn't known how much more she would be able to deal with when Derek had been paged back to the hospital. Susan had immediately offered Meredith a lift home later so she could stay for dessert and coffee, but Meredith had declined, which she suspected had been anticipated by both parties.

They had quickly said their goodbyes, and Derek had detoured to their home to drop Meredith off before heading into the hospital. One of his old coworkers from New York had flown to Seattle for surgery, and though her procedure had been stressful, she had pulled through and was now waking up. And Derek wanted to be there.

Meredith shut the door behind her with a bang, trying to rid herself of the tension that had built up as the evening had worn on. Trying to get to know her father was a lot easier said than done.

Giggling from the living room pulled her from her train of thoughts.

With a furrowed brow, Meredith stepped towards the doorway, and smiled at the sight that greeted her.

Cristina was sprawled sideways in the chair, her back against one armrest and her knees over the other, with her ankles hooked together. Izzy was similarly placed on the couch, her long legs hooked over the back of the couch while she leaned against an arm rest. George was on the floor by the other chair, leaning against in for support. All had obviously been drinking.

"You were supposed to call me hours ago," Meredith called to Cristina as she strode across the room and collapsed onto the other side of Izzy's couch. Cristina had promised to call with an 'emergency' forty-five minutes into dinner.

Cristina made a face. "Crap. I forgot." It was as close to a sorry as Meredith would ever get. "I had a crisis."

"Yeah. Exactly. That was the plan." Meredith rolled her eyes.

"No, I mean I had a real crisis."

"What kind of crisis?"

"A 'my-ex-may-be-about-to-ruin-my-impending-marriage' crisis."

"I guess I can't be too mad at you then..."

Cristina made a face.

"Do you think you could be a little more specific?"

"Burke feels threatened by McGrope-y," Izzy piped up.

"He is not," Cristina retorted. "He just...he doesn't get it."

"What? He doesn't get that you shacked up with an old man for three years? I don't get that either."

Cristina glared at Izzy. "He's not that old. And it's not like he...does old people things. There were no early bird dinners or depends."

"He needed little blue old man pills," Izzy reminded.

Cristina continued to glared. "I liked him for his mind, not his..." She cut herself off. "I am not talking about this."

George laughed quietly to himself, the first noise he had made since Meredith walked in. From his position on the floor, his head back and eyes closed, Meredith had thought he was asleep. "Colin Marlow needs Viagra..."

"Shut up!"

George stopped laughing, but was still smiling. "It's just...you learn about these 'larger than life' doctors in med school and then you find out...well, he's not all that large at all on his own."

"I thought I told you to shut up!" Cristina called, throwing a cushion George's way, but missing by a good couple feet.

"Okay, but seriously," Meredith said when she had finally stopped laughing, "What's going on with Burke and Marlow?"

"They talked."

"And?"

"And it's never a good thing if your ex talks to your boyfriend."

"Fiancé," Inzzy interrupted. "He's your fiancé."

"Whatever. Marlow told Burke we were together for three years, until med school was over. Now Burke thinks I'm just with him because of his knowledge and skills." She scoffed. "Pretentious bastard. Like I would just walk away from him at the end of my residency or something? Where does he get that? There's a reason I said no to Marlow and yes to Burke."

Meredith pursed her lips as she considered. "Have you told him this?"

"What, that I'm angry?"

"No; that you don't plan on moving on after your residency."

"Of course not. He's supposed to know it without me saying. I said I'd marry him, shouldn't that mean something?"

"Maybe he just thinks you're just doing it to appease him?" Izzy suggested.

"I am doing it to appease him. Marriage is stupid. Weddings are stupid. But I agreed to do it. Why can't he see that?"

"Because he's stupid," George piped up. "Okay, he's not stupid, because he's Preston Burke, and Preston Burke is not stupid. But marriage is stupid. Well, it can be stupid. Today, it's stupid."

Meredith raised an eyebrow as she shifted her attention between friends. "Okay, what's up with you?"

George groaned and covered his face with his hands.

"Callie kicked him out," Izzy spoke up.

"Kicked him out? I didn't think you could do that when you got married..."

"Apparently Callie didn't get that memo."

"Why did she kick you out, George?"

He groaned and mumbled something into his hands.

Meredith giggled and exchanged a look with Izzy. "Can't hear ya, George."

He slipped his hands down his face and sighed. "I don't even know. She was mad that I told you about her money. And then mad that Izzy found out. And now...now she's just mad. And it's not fair! I didn't do anything wrong. I tell her things. She knows all the important things about me. And I keep finding out about these things she doesn't tell me. And not only that, but she lied to me! She told me we had a deal at the Archfield. That's not only withholding the truth; that's lying."

"Did you tell her that?"

George nodded. "That's why she kicked me out. Well, that and she seems to think Izzy's in love with me."

Meredith snorted. "Sounds like she's going crazy."

"We already knew she was a little crazy," Cristina piped up.

Izzy nodded. "The girl does like her nudity."

Meredith laughed. "She still avoids Derek at all costs."

George groaned and covered his face again. "She's not crazy. I love her. It's just...it doesn't seem like this should be this hard. Marriage is about communication, right? I communicate. She doesn't. Well, she does, but not enough. And when she does, I have no idea what she's saying. Why can't she just explain things the way they are?"

"Maybe you knocked her up and the pregnancy hormones have her going extra crazy."

This time George's groan was coupled with his hands covering his face again.

Meredith laughed at both Cristina's comment and George's reaction.

"She's not pregnant. She...she can't be."

"Have you had sex with her, Bambi?"

"Yeah..." he mumbled from behind his hands.

"Then it's possible."

"But she would have told me."

"You just told us she doesn't always tell you important things."

George's hands came down and he looked around worriedly. "You don't think... she would have told me, right? That's something she would have said?"

"Why don't you call her and make sure?"

He blinked and then reached into his pocket for his cell phone.

"George!" Meredith called before he could dial. She was up and across the floor quickly, snatching the phone from his hands.

"But I need to call her. I need to ask if she's pregnant."

"She's not," Meredith assured. "Cristina's just trying to pull your chain." She glared at her best friend. "And you, stop bugging George. He's going through enough right now, and he's drunk."

"So, I'm drunk..."

"Not as drunk as George."

Meredith shook her head as she headed back to her spot on the couch, grabbing a partially full tequila bottle on her way. Collapsing onto the couch, she looked to Izzy. "Everything okay with you?"

Izzy shrugged. "I'm on sympathy drinking duty. Cristina came over to rant, and then George came over to rant with alcohol."

"Ranting with alcohol is definitely the best way," she agreed.

Izzy perked up a bit. "Hey, how was dinner with your father- wait, where is Derek?" She glanced around as if she could have missed him.

"He got paged."

"That's too bad."

"Actually, it was a life saver. I don't think I could have lasted another two minutes in that house."

"That bad?"

Meredith sighed and tipped back her bottle of tequila. "Just incredibly awkward. We have nothing to say to each other. And he's apparently taken all of the good memories he has of me growing up and assimilated them with Molly and Lexie. I doubt he can remember me anymore."

"I doubt that-"

"He told us about how much the baby looks like Molly in this old picture he has of Molly and him. Described the picture to a tee. Only the picture was of me and him, not Molly."

Izzy sighed and pulled her legs off of the back of the couch and sat upright. She quickly scooted closer to Meredith and slung an arm over her shoulder supportively. "You have us now," she reminded.

Meredith was surprised to feel herself blink back tears. "I just wish it wasn't this hard. I should be able to get to know him, right? It shouldn't be this much of a hassle."

"You shouldn't have to get to know him at all," Cristina spoke up. "Parents aren't supposed to just leave like that. I say if he wants to know you, then it's all on him."

"Yeah," George agreed. "None of him leaving was your fault."

Meredith sighed. "I know. I just...wish this could be easy."

"It'll get better," Izzy assured, always the promoter for optimism.

"And Susan," Meredith continued. "She's...nice. Like really nice. But she fights his battles, which makes me feel horrible. I don't want to argue with her, but I can't just let him back into my life like it's the most normal thing in the world. What's to stop him from leaving again? I don't exactly have a good track record for keeping people in my life."

"You've kept us."

She rolled her eyes. "You guys need me for my house. Plus, it's only been a year. After five years Thatcher had enough of me and didn't think twice about cutting me out of his life. I can't go through that again."

"We don't just need you for your house," George piped up. "Cristina doesn't even live here."

Meredith rolled her eyes again. "She needs me for it today. She's only here because she's avoiding Burke."

Cristina scowled. "Actually he's avoiding me. He refused to come home with me until I told him how it ended with me and Marlow, and then he just walked away."

There was an elongated pause, filled with awkwardness where no one quite knew what to say to comfort the young surgeon who so often kept to herself. And then Izzy cleared her throat and turned to Meredith, determined to change the subject. "So, Susan is nice?"

"Too nice," Meredith clarified. "She just...she was probably a great mom. And would have made a great step mom. But the point is that she wasn't my mom or step mom. And I don't know how to tell her that without coming off like a horrible person. She keeps saying these things...and she just doesn't understand that they don't mean the same thing to me as to her own shiny daughters."

"Like what?"

She shrugged. "She told me to bring a friend to dinner. I brought Derek because I thought that's what you did when you were in a relationship. And apparently I was wrong, and she was expecting a friend friend, like one of you guys, and things were awkward."

"What, so you're not allowed to fraternise with the opposite?" Cristina asked sarcastically.

"No, it wasn't like that." She sighed. "She said she wished she had been able to warn Thatcher because he didn't like it when 'his girls' brought home boys because he wanted to stay as the most important man in their lives. Well, he obviously didn't freaking care about that with me because he hasn't been the most important man in my life since I was five, and that was all his choice."

"Meredith," Izzy said gently, "Have you ever wondered if maybe...maybe your mother kept him from you? His side might be different..."

"She didn't keep him from me," Meredith answered quietly, averting her eyes as she blinked away tears. She took a swig of tequila before continuing. "It's not like my mother wanted me, so she wouldn't have kept me from him. He just disappeared. Promised to see me soon, but never came back. And never tried to follow me to Boston."

"But maybe he couldn't-"

"Stop," Meredith said sharply. Thatcher was just the first of a long line of people in her life who had decided they were better off without her in their lives. She didn't need this dragged out; she was already hurting enough. "I asked him once, why he didn't fight, why he didn't try harder."

"And?"

"And nothing. He didn't have an answer, other than the fact that he closed the door behind him and didn't make any move to invite me in. And I've always heard that actions speak louder than words anyways..."

Cristina snorted. "So that's what that means..."

A giggle escaped her lips despite her mood. "I worked so hard to get to where I am now...How am I supposed to just let him in now?"

"No one says you have to."

"But he's still your father," Izzy pointed out.

Meredith made an exasperated noise and downed another mouthful of tequila. "You two are remarkably unhelpful."

"What about me?" George asked, having lifted his head from his hands.

She snorted. "You've been remarkably quiet." The truth was she had assumed he had fallen asleep again. Having been his roommate for ten months had taught her that George couldn't hold his alcohol.

"But I'm still here," he whined.

"But you didn't say anything," she pointed out.

He considered her comment. "But I thought it."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "We're not clairvoyant."

Even in his state, he knew to ignore Cristina. "Your father made a lot of mistakes, but he's still your father. And you need to do what you can with him while you have the chance."

Meredith found herself blinking back a tear. George's voice was so full of integrity, even with the alcohol, reminding her of just how devastated he had been when he lost his father. At the time, she had told her best friend that she was jealous of George, and that if Thatcher died her life wouldn't be any different. And here she was with an opportunity to change that, to build a relationship with her father.

"This is stupid," she muttered.

Cristina made a face. "You mean it's hard."

"Whatever." She hated that certain people knew her so well sometimes.

"You know what makes it easier?"

"What?"

Cristina raised an eyebrow. "Alcohol."

With a laugh and a shake of the head, Meredith raised her bottle of tequila to her lips.

**

Derek suppressed a yawn as he approached the Nurses' Station, eager to get the day started so that it would end. After being paged into the hospital the night before, he had been pleased to find his friend from New York awake and grateful. He had spent almost an hour with her, and was just about to head home when he had been pulled into an emergency consult, which had, of course, turned into an emergency surgery. Now he had a surgery scheduled for the morning and a meeting with the board in the afternoon. Needless to say, it would be a long day.

"Can I have Hank Callister's chart, please?" He asked the nurse on duty.

"Of course. Here you go, Dr. Shepherd."

"Thanks," he called absently as he took the chart and suppressed another yawn. Callister was his only scheduled patient, and he was praying the day would stay quiet.

Half-way to the patient's room, Derek slowed as he caught snippets of anxious swearing. Furrowing his brow, he turned down a quiet hallway, only to find Callie Torres-O'Malley, wearing a dress and pearls under her lab coat, glaring at her cell phone. This was definitely not an everyday sight, and he was already dreading his relatively quiet day wouldn't stay so quiet.

"Is everything okay, Dr. Torres?" He was never quite sure what to call her, but he was taking the fact that George had been passed out in his living room when he had gone home to change as a hint not to tag 'O-Malley' onto his address to her.

Callie's eyes flickered upwards and widened. "Oh, I, uh...everything is fine, Dr. Shepherd." She took a step back, as if preparing to run.

Derek bit back a laugh. It had been months since he had inadvertently caught the younger surgeon naked in the upstairs hallway at home, but she still tried to avoid him. "You don't happen to be looking for your husband?"

The question caught her off guard. "Why?"

"Because you look stressed. And because O'Malley spent last night in my living room."

"Of course he would go there," she muttered under her breath.

Derek offered her a smile. "Don't go too hard on him. They're a family." Truth was, he often felt a tang of jealousy at Meredith's close relationship with her fellow interns. He had leanred to remind himself that the four played the role of being her family; that she didn't have parents and siblings, and aunts and uncles and cousins to be close to.

Callie nodded, and then let out a defeated breath. "Did he tell you what I said to him?"

"He wasn't exactly conscious when I went home to change..." With a smirk, he drew his cell phone out of his pocket and navigated through his menu to find the picture he had taken only an hour before. Izzy, George, Meredith and Cristina, in that order, were lined up on the couch, leaning against each other, fast asleep.

He passed the phone to Callie. "I was here all night, and only got a chance to go home and change. This is what I found in the living room."

Callie stared at the screen silently for several seconds before passing the phone back. She sighed. "So I guess I can tell my overactive imagination to relax because now I know he didn't spend the night with another woman..." She said, trying to make light of the situation.

Derek smirked. "Your imagination was way off," he agreed, "It was three women."

She glared at him. "Thanks for that."

He held up his hands. "Keep in mind one of them is my girlfriend, so I'm only making a joke."

"I know. I'm just already having a horrible day. And I need George to be...George today." She glanced at him before continuing. "My father called me first thing this morning to inform me he was on his way to Seattle and wanted to have lunch with me and George."

"Have he and George met before?"

"No. And to make everything even worse, George and I had a huge fight last night and he spent the night with his friends."

"They're not his friends, they're his family," he repeated. "It took me a while to understand, too. They don't have anyone else."

"But George does. He had a wonderful mother. And two brothers. Who all live close by."

"Would you be this upset if he ran to one of his brothers last night?"

"He would never do that. He's not close to them."

"Exactly my point. Meredith, Stevens and Yang, and sometimes Karev, are his family."

She nodded and avoided his eyes. "I want to be his family, too. What if they never let me in?"

He nodded as he considered the question. "They will; he will. They've had quite the year, experienced some things very few ever do. Just give him some time."

**

It wasn't until after his awkward conversation with his former roommate's new wife and his morning surgery, which should have been quick, but hit complication after complication, that Derek finally saw his girlfriend.

After meeting with his patient's family in the waiting room, hours after he had planned, he stumbled up to his office and collapsed onto the couch. It could have been minutes or hours before he heard a knock on his door. And before he could begin to respond the door began to open.

He groaned before sitting up. Only three people in the hospital would come in without his consent, and only one of those was welcome right now. The Chief seemed to think a cursory knock made the subsequent barging in acceptable. Mark seemed to think he could come and go whenever he wanted, as if using their open door policy from back in New York would cause them to fall back into their old friendship. Lastly, after months of him telling her it was okay, Meredith came and went at will.

He sighed with relief when Meredith's face popped around the corner of his door.

"Hey," she called brightly, quickly stepping in and closing the door behind her.

"Hey," he responded easily, smiling up at her.

She dropped the bag in her hands to the ground and collapsed onto the couch next to him.

Derek didn't waste any time in wrapping his arms around her and burying his nose in her hair.

Meredith leaned into him. "What are you doing?"

"Mmm, breathing you in."

She giggled. "I meant what are you doing up here in your office?"

"Resting. Or trying to. My girlfriend came in and distracted me from my resting."

She giggled again. "She can leave, if that's what you want. But you have to let go of her first."

He chuckled. "Resting with you is always more restful."

"Really, because I can remember quite a few instances where we weren't so restful when we were supposed to be..."

He growled into her hair. "I'm too tired for you to bait me."

"Hey, you baited me first."

Loosening his grip around her, he shifted so that his chin could rest on her shoulder. "I don't have the energy to not be restful right now."

"That's not why I came up," she assured quickly. "I heard you surgery went long, and I doubt you got any sleep last night, so I brought food."

Derek smiled and hugged her tight again. "I don't think I've ever loved you as much as I do right now."

She giggled. "Well, you need to let go of me to actually eat the food..."

With a heavy sigh, Derek released his girlfriend. She pecked his lips before pulling her bag close and rummaging through it.

"Here," she said, passing him a Styrofoam container. "I got you a chicken salad. I know you don't like to eat anything heavy when you haven't slept, so I got the salad. But you really need to protein to get through today, so try and eat the chicken..."

"Thanks, doctor," he mumbled sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes. "This is what I get for being helpful."

"No, this is what you get for being helpful," he stated, quickly hooking his hand behind her head and pressing his lips against hers. She was slow to respond to the kiss, taken by surprise, but he soon felt her smile against his lips, before kissing him back.

"Thank-you," he confirmed after he pulled away, quickly pecking her lips again.

"You're welcome," she responded, pecking him back. She pulled her own take-out container from the bag and the two of them sat back on the couch.

"Are you ready for your interview?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I'm so tired right now... I wish I could postpone it."

"You could try," she suggested. "They need to be considerate to the fact that you were here last night."

"I think it's too late to ask now. And I don't want them to think I would be looking for special considerations if they make me Chief."

"True." She took a bite of her lunch. "How long do you have?"

"A little more than an hour."

She hummed under her breath and leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder. "That's crappy."

He leaned his head against hers and sighed. "It is. But you brought me food, so it's better than it was five minutes ago."

"How's you friend?"

"Helen is fine. Sleeping a lot, which is to be expected, but she's been lucid every time I've check on her."

"Good."

"Mmm-hmm," he agreed, lifting his head to continue with his lunch. Meredith, however made no move to lift hers off his shoulder. "I guess you're tired too..."

"Yeah, I...uh..."

"Stayed up all night drinking with your friends."

This time she did life her head. "How do you know that?"

He smirked. "I went home to change and pick up my suit for the interview. You guys were strewn over the couch together."

"We were not."

"Oh, you absolutely were. And I just happen to have photographic proof." He pulled out his phone and passed it to her.

She took the cell and quickly scrawled through the menus. "I hate you," she finally muttered.

"You love me," he countered, taking back his phone before she could delete the photograph.

"It wasn't my fault," she tried again. "They were already drunk when you dropped me off. George had a fight with Callie. And I guess he and Izzy made up. And Cristina had a fight with Burke about Marlow. And I had a stressful night, so it was just...easy to join in."

Sensing a sudden vulnerability in her tone, Derek's smile fell away. "Are you okay about last night? I'm sorry I couldn't be there after dinner-"

"Hey," she quickly cut him off. "You went above and beyond just by coming with me last night. This whole thing has nothing to do with you. And I'm just having trouble understanding why it has anything to do with me, or if I want it to have anything to do with me."

He cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

She offered him a sad smile. "He didn't want anything to do with me for so many years. Why should I let him in now, after everything that has happened? I know I'm supposed to be 'new Meredith' and everything. But I can't help but wonder if he even would have cared if I had died in the water."

His heart clenched painfully at the mention of her accident. He had made huge strides in overcoming the panic that came from being away from her, but it didn't mean he wasn't still acutely aware of what he had almost lost. "He'd be an idiot if he wasn't," was all he could manage to say. "In fact, he's an idiot for ever not wanting to be a part of your life."

She sniffed and allowed him to pull her against his chest, snaking her own arms around his waist. "I hate that it's so hard," she admitted.

"Me too. And I hate that I can't make it better for you. But I can promise you that I won't ever do to you what he did. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," she mumbled into the soft fabric of his scrub top.

"And what you said before, about it being above and beyond for me to go with you last night? That was wrong. It's my job to go with you, Meredith. I'll put up with as many awkward dinners as necessary. It's what I'm here for. This whole situation has to do with me because it has to do with you. I'm not going to make this decision for you, but I want to be around while you decide."

"What did I ever to do deserve you?"

"A hundred things."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"It won't be this stressful meeting your family, right?"

He smiled at how easily the words came out of her mouth. They were less than a month away. "It'll be stressful, but in a different way. They'll love you. And they'll want you to be a part of the family. But they're really loud, and a little overbearing, so it's always a little stressful being at home."

Meredith giggled. "Even though it's still a little scary, I kinda can't wait. I want to know what a really family is like."

"You will," he mumbled, hugging her close. "I promise."